Rukia sits on the computer chair and reaches for the laptop Ichigo got her, okay the one she stole from him, it was all technicalities anyway. Its 7 clock in the evening and she has just arrived from the mall.
The girls were browsing through store and spent about an hour in the music store listening to different genres, now Rukia, only breed from classical music entertained by the nobles in soul society was hesitant to listen to all the pop crap that was out and popular these days. Yuzu convinced her to give a listen to one musician, this Dustin Dweber* from canada, she said he is really good in that solo boy band way, to which Karin snorted commenting that the day she became a fan of this Dewber person was the day she quit soccer and became a self procliamed Britney impersonator.
Rukia chuckled lightly at this, she didnt know who Britney was but from what she heard of from Ichigo, he compared her music to hollow screeching with the under tone of Aizen blarbering off about his godzeness ness ness...
Anyway, she listened to Baby* for about 60 secs and she became hooked, it was kinda catchy, which she immediately suspected, the catchyness and the hookedness, meaning who just like that likes a song? unless of course they were brainwashing you through the media, under the false pretense of music,with plans of taking over the world and ensalving billions of teenagers and pre teens over the world! and only rebel people who listen to rock music and arent pop scence teens form an underground revolution with slogans like fuck u and and and... are saved from ensalvement!
after three more songs, the girls left.
She types his name in and searches for more songs to listen to, when she sees a pop up indicating that the singer would be in town for an impromptu tour because his hommie, whatever that is, had an aunt whose second cousins daughters uncle,s girlfriends younger brother was japanese and lived in the area so Dewber and his posse, again a strange slang term, its sounds like possum, which is an animal, a rat like animal; who would want to be associated with a rat like animal named posse? she asks this out loud just as Ichigo walks in, he gives her a weird look, he thinks shes gone mad, to which she says "whats wrong ma hommie?", his face scrunches up even more. "yo you lookin' constipated ma home slice" now he lets out a funny sound, a cross between a laughing whale and a confused rabbit. Figure out what they sound like yourselves.. no seriously...
'whats with the slang talk, are you watching bad american movies again? i told you they are just a bunch of posers"
"na, just trying something new, you dont have to laugh at me, remember i always have unneccessary neccessary violence on my side.."
"che, "
"baka, you heard of Dustin Dweber?"
to which Ichigo gags, a manly gag...
"you mean the solo version of the jonas brothers revamped"
"i believe the saying was the solo boy band version" Rukia suggested
"your point?" Ichigo countered. he is still not sure where the midgit is going with this...
"his having a concert tomorrow for his possum possy, wanna go" so thats where she's going with this and apparently his going too..
"you know Rukia that statement has so many ways to sick and wrong its not even funny... first of all why?"
"Beause I like his music, though i dont know why, i cant understand half of what he sings"
"dont you mean whines, am sorry I dont do chalk board teen pop sensation"
"but its good chalk board whiny teen, i tolarate you dont i, its practically the same when you talk" she pouts and he looks away getting irritated.
"a few hours ago you didn't even know him, and lay off the voice remember who pays for your creepy chappy obsession"
Rukia folds her arms, "but i do now, you know how i get with cute things, look at his picture, see the video dedicated to that hair flippy thingy he does, every one likes him!"
yah everyone with a brain capacity of a zero... this is worse than that vampire shit!
"not every one" he points out, " only you and Karin, but think of the bigger picture, even Ni sama likes him!", "when did you have the time to find out that!" Ichigo says scowling "idiot we twit each other sometimes and he follows the Dweber fever... remember bigger picture"
"which is what, let me remind you that i dont do whiny sappy girly music set to elaborately annoying dance routines and lyricy declarations of being totaly whipped by some chick or being dumped by some chick or doing the dumping or whatever" Ichigo winces, like in pain just fom the thought of it, he'd rather listen to Keigo talk about his imaginary run in's with girls. On second thought... nah!
Rukia wants to point out that isn't that the same as the music he listens to just set at a pace which involves heavy guiter strumming and complicated riffs, accompained by minor bouts of screaming and rebellion, and often with elaborately set head banging up and down, down and up. Air guitar, side to side.
"which is that, I can easily fake a cry to which your father will ask what's wrong and i will tell him about his sons incompetance in pleasing a lady. You know it will work." she grins evily imitating the devil her self. Ichigo has the decency to shudder, " how come am the only person sane enough to see right through her badly acted, evil, goody goody performance? I mean come on!" he mutters darkly.
Rukia clicks on the 'buy a dweber ticket' icon and charges them to Ichigos credit, partly for that comment about her chappy obsession being creepy, mostly just for the hell of it...
*somewhere over the pacific ocean*
"Yes! my full proof plan on world domination is coming quite nicely, Dweberly I say, because after all I am a genius... note to self, call T-Pain on speed dial for more talk on the collaboration cd, am thinking My world My universe ..." mwahahahahahahahahahahaahahah*coughs* hahahahahahaha ha *clears throat* "note to self no more fantastical bouts of evil laughter" after all he has to save his voice for more recordings of his sweet nasaly evil hypnotsing music that seduces masses alike, literally.
"martin!' he calls all those underneath his feet like that, you know with a capital letter beginning, if you noticed... because they do not deseve such a privilage... four words, five syllubles, my universe, my rules, hahahahaha.
One of his hair stylists enters the cabin, "you know what to do, where are the others! i called you all five minutes ago, chris, sara, whats is face! I can't only have my leftside looking fabulous, these bangs arent natural! it takes a precise sicence to get them to flip the way they do, get them here right this instant"
*Right this instant*; all four enter, armed with fine toothed combs and spary...
"ah ah uh, you are one second late, 50 second dance session as punsiment... and 1, 2 ,2 ,1, 3..."
*50 secs later*. The four begin to painstakingly run the combs in a slow presice manner in their designated sections.
One hour, thirty minutes later, they have landed in karakura and yes the stylists are still combing his head, every step of the way or rather every wheel of the way, see Dustin is on a scouter in his hotel suite, and they have to roll with him, on foot. After all those legs have to be saved for cheesy over done, clicher, seen a gazillion times, choreographed dance moves, because really there are only so many ways you can jerk*, which is not much.
It is rather quiet as no psycho fans are hounding him, they are too busy chasing after Dstin Dweber 2.0 as he accidentaly on purpose lioters around the city in conveniant spots where paparazi are known to be located, the posse is with original is ploting his ub plot plot to take over karakura and is intiating phase 3 of the look; Dweberliousness; which looks better, the right side flick with the grey shirt and purple manly high tops or the left side flick with the green peace sign converse and skinner than skinny skinny jeans, with a trash bag material black bomber he stole from lady blah blah at last weeks award ceremony after party...
Read and review! please!
at the request of a reader, am making the story ichiruki, of course it was already headed in that direction...
Authors note: i do not own any famaliar characterizations or people such as the mentioned, lady blah blah, vampires, t-pain,twitter, britney, justin beiber, or their jerking dance moves...
i really dont have a problem with justin beiber, i actually like him, kinda, its just that he made this to easy for me, i couldn't resist
i dont own bleach, sadly...
oh and pls forgive the spelling errors the shit word 07 program screwed me over i had to work on wordpad.