The one that got away
Ricky Underwood had put his son to bed, and then went onto do some house cleaning things. He dusted the table, paused then looked over at it his son who was fast asleep, he smiled at him wishing he could go back and just be a child. Even though he'd gotten over the resentment he held towards his mother for not protecting him, there was still that part of him that longed for a childhood. He promised himself that he would never let his son feel that way ever even though his mother was in New York. Ricky was proud of himself for not ending up like his father who would've thought that some as irresponsible as he would end up being a parent. Many would've never believed that he would've stuck around for John, but there was one person who always believed in him, it was Adrian. Even though he had his parents, Adrian was there always but he had ruined that. He hated how she could get inside his head, and chip away at his heart making him feel vulnerable and took away his control. She loved him before he loved himself. Unlike Amy he could read Adrian like a book, she was so honest about everything; she never held back her emotions. But they hurt each other too much because they were both afraid to love. It was different with Amy she was the mother of his son, it easy to love her, he felt comfortable. With Adrian it was different because she knew him too well and the thought of deeply falling in love with her scared him because that meant he could get hurt. If only he thought, I didn't give up on her he thought…but life wasn't a fairy tale and he knew that better anyone, some things just weren't meant to be.
He and Amy had tried to find something there to make themselves one big happy family, but it didn't happen and they were naïve to think it would. He was angry at first for calling off the wedding but what he felt even more was relief. She was probably in New York now, settling in and following her dreams. She may finally be honest about her feelings for Ben because she always did have a place in her heart for him as much as she tried to deny it, she did. She was tired of doing the "right" thing. Ricky couldn't be in love with someone's who's heart belonged to someone else, Ben had always loved her and always would. Although Amy had caused a lot of pain and heart ache Ricky felt partly responsible because he felt that he had ruined her life even though it wasn't true, he still felt that way. She's a good mother and didn't mean to cause harm, she still has a lot of growing up to but no one is perfect. Everyone expects her, to be perfect and so does she, but she is not. She's still a teenager girl trying to find her way in life, unlike Adrian who has a lot of confidence within her but chooses to hide behind a man. Omar can provide wonderful things for her but she will grow tired of him like most other guys she dates, and then maybe for once in her life she'll learn that she is capable of being her own person.
Despite all the games, lies and drama she deserved to be happy and just have a fresh start. He knew that it took two people to have sex but he knew that she was always angry with herself for doing that, and it was an anger that didn't go away no matter how she tried to make it look as if everything were fine she was still angry with herself.
Even though Adrian had gotten angry at herself for getting pregnant she didn't have the same anger that Amy had because she had always wanted to be a mother, to have a person that would love her and wouldn't hurt her. He wanted to comfort there for her when she lost her baby, but he couldn't bare to see her in pain and know there wasn't anything he could do about it. It was something he couldn't control, but he Adrian better than anyone would push everyone, lash out only to bring herself back up again and bury the pain away. She's a strong woman and he can't deny that she did impact his life even when he didn't believe in himself she did. Even though she's not his life, he'd always something special with her, whom he didn't have with anyone else; they connected on a different level. All he knew was that she was first love, and he'd let her get away.
Ricky got ready for bed and his mind wondered to Adrian and he smiled because she would always have a place in his heart even if he couldn't be with her. That smile turned into a frown after he remembered all the times he had hurt her, if only I could've given her a chance but I want her to move on and start a new life he thought. Having a child in high school was definitely confusing, and filled his relationships with doubts but he would never regret having John. Ricky Underwood had made a lot of mistakes in his life, but John would never be one and if he could teach his son anything it would be to never give up on the things you love before it's too late.