Couples' Therapy

Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to DC or Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Lance/Diablos.

One Shot

Farrah Willows, the lioness heroine Persiana, was sitting in a room. Instead of being in her usual costume, the furry feline had her hair tied into a conservative ponytail, and she was wearing a more conservative suit. However, it was not buttoned all the way up, allowing everyone to view her…endowment, shall we say. Farrah was wearing red high heels, and was wearing reading glasses.

The whole room was redone to resemble a doctor's office. More specifically, a psychiatrist's office. A large, wooden desk was seated near a corner, with two large chairs were in front of the desk.

Farrah had hung up various licenses, and, oddly enough, she had a Guns'n'Roses poster hanging on the ceiling. Don't ask.

With a note pad and pen, she began taking notes.

Her first couple was Green Arrow and Black Canary, also known as Oliver 'Ollie' Queen, and Dinah Lance, respectively. The other members of the League thought of this as a big joke, so they let the two of them go in and try it out first.

Green Arrow explained,

"I think this is a waste of time."

Farrah looked up, speaking as professionally as she could,

"Oliver, therapy is important. It allows us to explore and release all the negative energy and emotions everyone is too embarrassed to display in public. Trust me, this office is completely private."

Black Canary asked,

"Isn't this room next to Flash's quarters?"

Flash's voice could be heard,

"What's happening?"

Guy Gardner's voice responded,

"Shut up, stupid. I can't hear anything."

Farrah walked over to the door and roared like a lion. Instantly, the two eavesdropping heroes fainted. The lioness walked back to the desk, as calm as ever. She smiled and said,

"Well, let's begin. Is there anything you two would like to discuss?"

Ollie shook her head,

"Other than how ridiculous this all is?"

Dinah said,

"I have something to say."

She turned to her boyfriend, scowling,

"What's the big idea leaving me to go watch that cat-fight between Farrah and Tigra?" (1)

Ollie groaned in his hands,

"You have to bring that up, don't you? It as a once in a lifetime opportunity. I mean, come on. That was a fight worth watching!"
The martial artist continued,

"And, that's not all. You also slobbered when I got into that catfight with Cheshire that time?" (2)

The archer shook her head,

"You two were rolling around. What was I supposed to do, break it up?"

Dinah nodded,

"Yes! I expect you to act like a gentleman, not a pervert! Every woman you met you always flirted with and undress with your eyes! Don't lie to me, because you've done it in front of me!"
She folded her arms, grumbling,

"I knew I should've just stayed liking girls."
Ollie and Farrah both blinked at that. The Emerald Archer asked,

"Wait, what?"
Canary looked at Farrah,

"Don't get me wrong, I like Ollie. I like how he takes me everywhere, but he has got to stop undressing everything in a skirt. I want a long term relationship, you know. I want to get married and have kids."
At this, Ollie swallowed,

"Married? Kids?"

Dinah looked darkly at her boyfriend,

"Is that a problem?"
Ollie swallowed nervously, trying to think of some way to get out of the question.

Farrah finally said something,

"It sounds to me that Ollie has serious commitment issues that he has to get passed if he is going to have a serious relationship with you, Dinah."

She looked at Ollie,

"You need to stop thinking about other women, and learn to be more respectful of the fairer sex. Believe me, it goes a long way."

Ollie complained,

"You mean I can't watch any more catfights?"
Farrah grinned,

"That's a start."
The archer stood up,

"Screw this! I'm outta here!"
He began to leave and walk out the door. Canary stormed after him.

Farrah quietly opened her desk drawer and pulled out a special pair of headphones that drowned out any sort of sound. While that was going on, outside the 'office', loud Canary Cries were being dished out, in between the sounds of a woman swearing in words not even Batman had heard. After about a minute or so, Ollie re-entered with Dinah, white as a ghost. He said in a calm, frightened voice,

"I'll give up watching cat-fights."

Farrah smiled,

"That wasn't so hard, was it? Now, come back in two weeks, and we'll see how well you progress. OK?"

Dinah grinned,

"Thanks, Farrah."

She grabbed her boyfriend and walked out. Farrah then looked at her appointment book and said,

"Lance, could you come in here for a moment?"

A red-eyed teen wearing a shirt and red tie walked in. Lance asked,

"What is-?"
Before he could finish, the demonic hero was pounced on and the door slammed shot. Farrah growled,

"I have time until my three o'clock. I want some therapy from you, handsome."
She pulled her ponytail out and threw her glasses on the floor. The two then began making out on the floor, with Lance slightly resisting,

"Farrah, no claws, like last time."
Farrah purred, kicking off her high heels,

"What about biting?"

She lustfully forced her tongue down his throat, catching the hero off guard, but returned the kiss full on.

Farrah thought to herself,

I can get used to being a sex therapist. Practice helps.

End of One Shot

(1) Read Justice League Persiana for details

(2) Read The New Face in Town for details