Words in italics belong to Chris and Neil, and are from the song The Night I fell in love. This is the way the story unfolded in my mind. This is the way you see it.

Trapped by the Initiative Ethan has only his memories to live for. Angst.

The Night I Fell In Love

Each day, they pushed a little further through his mental defenses, with all their bloody hypnosis-inducing drugs, and their pet spell casters. Ethan had sworn that they wouldn't get to him, but the were slowly breaking him, bringing him to a level of defeat which he had struggled to keep even Ripper from seeing, back when the other man had been his life and light. His only escape from the constant tortures, the needle which they slipped into his arm which left him floating free so that they could attempt to question him, to worm out answers when he was disconnected, were his memories. There was always one in particular, which gave him a feeling of renewed strength, even though even that bought pain as well.

Every time he felt himself weakening, he would call up his old memories, as fragile as a new-born child, and slip back into the past, to a place where they couldn't hurt him any more.

I was backstage

Ethan never got any pocket money. He wouldn't until he agreed to his father's demands to stop hanging out with his low-life friends, and focus on improving his grades. And it was a matter of pride. He would never admit the his father was right. Which made finding a ticket for the latest heavy mettle band, The Deamons, in the gutter next to the pavement all the sweeter, because a mate of his had been raving about them. It meant that he didn't have to pretend to bow to his father wishes in order to get the cash to see the show.

couldn't believe my luck was in

Once the show had finished, it had been an easy matter to slip back stage. He knew all the tricks. If you looked like you belonged, then no-one would ever question you.


I saw him approach
wearing a most approachable grin
When he said hello
I was surprised he spoke so politely
I said I'd liked his show
Well he just smiled
I guess it happens nightly
and so
I fell in love

That first quickened, open grin was enough to steal Ethan's heart.

We went to his room
he had a video camera
I was so nervous
I had to try hard not to stammer
He said
'I'm glad you liked the show
that crowd was dope out there tonight, alright
You wanna see some more?
Well be my guest
You can have a private performance'
I'd fallen in love

I didn't ask why
though he seemed like such a regular guy
he said we could be
secret lovers
just him and me
Then he joked
'Hey, man!
Your name isn't Stan, is it?
We should be together!'
And he was passionate
I guess I would rate
him a nine out of ten
by then
I'd fallen in love

But before that, there had been long moments of talking.

When I asked
why have I heard so much
about him being charged
with homophobia and stuff

"What about all that crap I've heard, man?"


he just shrugged.

With his little finger he made a 'come hither' gesture.

Ethan hesitated, and a brief look of frustration crossed over the other' face. Finally, drawing a deep breath to steady himself, he stepped forward.

Satisfaction.

Again, he repeated the gesture. This time, when Ethan stepped towards him, he moved as well. His powerful hands came up to grasp at his shoulders, pressing him back towards the wall, and lowering his head, he took an unrestrained kiss. He had nearly a full head of height over the younger man. The growth spurt which would eventually leave Ethan the taller of the two wasn't due to take place until the following summer.

His voice became a low growl, deepened by lust.

"That answer your question, mate?"

Next morning we woke
he couldn't have been a nicer bloke
Over breakfast made jokes
about Dre and his homies and folks
Neither of us asked if or when
we would see each other again
but I thought that was cool
'cause I was already late for school
by then
I'd fallen in love

There is a lot of pain in remembering, for Ethan, because of the way Ripper moves away from him in later years. That is also a part of the memories power.

Just once more, he wants to see his old friend again.

To talk to him as openly as he once did in those days gone by.

Just once.

Before they kill him.