Disclaimer: As I'm sure you already know, Glee and all it's lovely characters do not (unfortunately) belong to me.
Authors Note: This idea came to me out of nowhere and has taken quite a while to write in a way that I was happy with, as it's completely different to anything I would usually consider writing or reading. As with all my stories, this is un-beta'd, but I believe my grammer, spelling and punctuation are generally error free. If I am wrong about this, I apologise. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story. x
"So what're we doing tonight then?" asked Quinn.
It was Saturday night, and the glee club were gathered in the sitting room of Rachel's house. Her Dads were away to visit some friends so she had the house to herself for the weekend. Which meant that her house was the perfect location for the kids to meet up. They had been getting together every Saturday night since Sectionals. Sometimes they would go out for a meal, or bowling or to the cinema. Other times they would stay in, using whoever's house was available that week. Kurt's dad was usually cool about them all hanging out there, since he was glad to see his son had such a good (if not slightly mismatched) group of friends, but as there were 12 of them, they could get quite noisy and most of the group didn't like the idea of getting on Burt Hummel's bad side.
"Well, as it's Rachel's house, I figure it's her choice tonight" replied Finn.
Puck looked over to Rachel with a smile and asked "What you got in mind, Berry?" although his tone of voice made it sound much more salacious than the words alone should have.
"Certainly not the same thing as is on your mind, Noah!" Kurt quipped. The group were so used to Puck's constant innuendos now that it had become something of a joke between them. Kurt, in typical fashion, was always there with a witty response, usually before the rest of the group had even caught onto the double meaning in Puck's words.
Tonight they sat in a rough circle on the floor of the sitting room, having pushed the furniture to the sides of the room to make space for everyone. They had a supply of chips and snacks in the middle of the circle, and the kitchen fridge was stocked full of soft drinks.
Rachel moved across the room and picked up a pink ring binder that had been placed on the coffee table.
"I have taken the liberty of writing up a list of possible activities for us for this evening. Of course we won't get through them all, so this binder will also serve us for any subsequent meetings, although it should be updated and refreshed regularly in order to provide a wide range of experiences. Activities are organised and cross referenced by a number of criteria including cost, any resources which may be required and also by location - based upon the distance from the school and each person's home."
"Um…Crazy lady?" teased Mercedes, "Why don't you just give us some suggestions, ok?"
"Yeah, preferably some that are free, cause I'm broke" said Matt.
"And I'd rather not have to go 'out' anywhere, it's too cold." added Tina, "Plus it would be a waste of an empty house to go out"
Rachel flicked through the binder briefly before settling on a page of suggestions which fit these criteria. "Ok…" she began, "We could watch a DVD, play cards…"
"Lame." scoffed Puck
"… Spin the bottle, truth or dare, 'snog/marry/avoid'…" Rachel continued.
"What's that?" asked Artie.
"It's a game where you're given three names, and you have to say which one you would snog, which one you would marry and which one you would just completely avoid" explained Santana. "It can actually be quite funny, depending on the names you get"
After a few seconds of discussion, the group seemed to agree on this as their first 'activity' for the evening, mainly due to the fact that it was a new game for most members. In fact, Rachel, Santana, Brittany and Matt were the only ones who had ever heard of the game before.
"In the spirit of Glee club I'd like to propose a minor adjustment to the game" said Kurt. "I suggest we change the name of the game to 'snog, marry or slushie'"
"Yeah alright, but what about the whole 'marry' thing?" asked Puck. The rest of the group turned to look at him. "Like a stud like me is ever gonna get tied down by marriage!"
Rachel laughed. "What would you suggest then, Noah? Snog, slushie or…?"
"Sex!" replied Puck with a grin "…and lots of it!"
"Snog, slushie or sex" said Finn, looking thoughtful for a second. "Works for me, I suppose"
"Any objections?" Rachel asked. The students looked at each other and shrugged their acceptance. "Ok then, I'll begin gathering resources!"
Ten minutes later the group were sitting in a circle with two top hats placed in the middle. Inside the hats were the names of all the members of Glee club, as well as a few of their teachers ("to keep things interesting" Puck had claimed). Rachel took the lead and began to explain the game to the other members.
"There are two hats - one for boys and one for girls. Each person will pick three names out of the appropriate hat and state which person they would snog, which person they would slushie and which person they would… have sex with." she said. "To make it easier for you, the boys names are on blue paper and the girls are on pink. When your turn is over, please be sure to put the names back into the hat and give it a little shake, we don't want the same names coming up every time. The next shot goes to the person to your right. Ok, who wants to go first?"
Brittany quickly put her hand up to volunteer and the hat of boys' names was passed over to her. She closed her eyes and pulled out three pieces of paper. She unfolded them and read the names to the others.
"Puck, Kurt and Artie. Well that's easy!" she exclaimed. "I'd have sex with Puck, slushie Kurt and snog Artie. This is fun!" she beamed. The rest of the group gave her a quizzical look, and Artie looked downright confused but decided that, in the spirit of the game, it would be easier to just accept her answer and move on.
As he was sitting to the right of Brittany, it was Finn's shot next. He picked up the other hat and took out three pink pieces of paper.
"Hmm… Mercedes, Tina and Miss Pillsbury?" Finn mumbled.
The other football players sniggered and Matt gave Puck a little nudge and a nod that expressed amusement and approval of Puck's idea to include teachers.
Finn looked to be deep in thought, as if this was the most important decision he had ever been asked to make.
"I guess I would have to snog Mercedes, sleep with Tina and slushie Miss Pillsbury" he said slowly, careful not to make eye contact with anyone.
"Whoa… you'd pass up on Miss Pillsbury for these two?" Puck asked, signalling to Tina and Mercedes. "No offence, ladies, but what the hell, dude?"
Finn put the names back into the hat and looked up at his best friend.
"She's weird! I mean, I guess she's kinda hot and everything, but can you imagine the reaction she would have if you tried to kiss her? She'd probably freak out and try to bleach your lips or something. God knows what she would try to do if you suggested sex! At least is you slushie her, it's only herself she'd have to scrub clean."
As bizarre as it sounded, the rest of the group found themselves actually following Finn's logic. And they had to admit that it would be a little bit funny to watch the redhead stress out at being slushied.
Next in turn was Mike. He pulled his three names and read them aloud; "Santana… Quinn and… Coach Sylvester? Is this name even meant to be in with the girls?" he joked. "Snog Quinn, sex Santana and slushie Sylvester. Too easy!"
The game continued round the circle with much giggling from the girls and a few suggestive comments from the boys. After Rachel, Tina, Matt, Puck and Quinn had taken their turns it was time for Kurt to draw his names.
"Wait!" Brittany shouted. "Which hat does Kurt use? I mean, he's a boy right?"
"Of course he's a boy, blondie!" Mercedes replied, laughing a little at the other girls question.
"But…doesn't he like, like boys better?" asked Brittany, clearly confused by the situation.
"Excuse me, I am still in the room." stated Kurt. "And yes, you all know I'm gay. That means I like boys, Brittany."
"But do you not like girls at all then?" asked Santana, appearing honestly curious.
"Not at all." Kurt replied "Not even a bit."
The rest of the group fell quiet as Brittany tried to comprehend what Kurt had just told her and the rest of the group took a second to admire Kurt's honesty. Although he had 'come out' to them all a while ago, he had never really spoken openly about his sexuality in front of his friends, mainly because there had never been much to say. It was Quinn who broke the short silence first.
"Ok, new question for Kurt!" she stated. The group turned to face her, intrigued by her sudden boldness.
"If you had to choose a girl to sleep with, out of Glee club, who would you choose? I know you're gay, but let's just say you had to..."
"Hmm… interesting question, Miss Fabray. Let me think…" Kurt began. "Tell you what… let's make this more interesting. I'll answer, but I want something from each of you in return."
Everyone looked at Kurt expectantly, curious as to what he could possibly want from them. Nobody knew what to say but a few heads seemed to nod slightly as if in agreement to Kurt's terms.
"Ok, if you want to know who I would 'turn straight' for, I want to know who - out of Glee club - each of you would 'turn gay' for." Kurt said, a wicked smile spread across his face.
A few of the girls giggled at this, and Kurt could see that a few people didn't look too impressed with his suggestion, but surprisingly enough, nobody argued.
"Ok then," Rachel said, "It looks like everyone agrees. Might I suggest that we keep this between ourselves though? What we say goes no further, and we certainly do not discuss this in school, agreed?"
The rest of the group nodded, agreeing that none of them would ever mention the conversation afterwards.
"Ok then," Kurt began, "If I had to choose from our group, I'd probably say Tina. No offence, Mercedes."
"None taken sweetie" Mercedes replied. "There's only room for one diva in any relationship, and I aint about to let you take that away from me!" she added with a smile. "And I guess if I had to pick a girl, I'd pick Rachel. Who knows, maybe I'd find a way to shut her up at last!"
"Only if you're doing it wrong!" Puck retorted, turning to give Matt a high-five.
To Mercedes' right, and therefore up next, was Artie.
"It's not something I've exactly given much thought to, but I suppose maybe I'd pick Finn" he said, sounding a little unsure of himself. After all, it really wasn't something he'd ever thought about before, but Finn seemed like a fairly 'safe' option.
After a few seconds of silence, Santana said, "Quinn". It took a second for Quinn to realise that her friend wasn't simply trying to catch her attention. "I deserve to be with someone who is at least as hot as I am" Santana continued. Quinn rolled her eyes at her friends comment, but smiled a little at the compliment.
"I choose…. Quinn!" Brittany said cheerfully, then her expression suddenly turned serious as she added, "No wait!… I choose Santana. No…Quinn…Sant… Do I have to choose just one?" The group burst into laughter, as the cheerleader looked positively baffled by the apparent enormity of the question.
"Let's move on" Rachel said "We can come back to you later, Brittany, ok?" Brittany smiled and the group turned their attention to Finn.
"I'd have to choose Puck" he stated, sounding very calm and direct about it "He's my best friend". Puck looked startled at first, but quickly scoffed at Finn's sentimentality.
"Dude, we're not getting married or anything!"
Kurt shook his head a little and smiled at Finn. "You're such a girl!" he declared. This caused the rest of the group to start laughing again, amused by the irony of Kurt calling someone else feminine.
Once the laughter had subsided, Finn turned to Mike. "Your turn!" he stated. A small smile worked its way across Mikes face and the group waited, knowing that whatever answer he gave was likely to be nothing short of brilliant. After all, although he could be quiet at times, they all knew that Mike had a fantastic mind and a wicked sense of humour.
"Are you ready for this?" he asked, trying to tease his now captive audience. "I would choose… Mr Schue!" The group remained silent, transfixed, trying to work out what possible reason Mike could have for choosing their Glee club director. (Although a few of them could see that Mr Schuester was attractive, they would never have admitted it out loud).
"Have you seen the way that man dances?" Mike continued, "Imagine what those hips could do in bed!
The group was gob-smacked and burst into more hysterical laughter.
"Dude!" said Matt, leaning over to fist-bump Mike "I am so with you there! Well, not literally, y'know…"
"Threesome…interesting…" laughed Santana.
"Eugh! I don't wanna think about that!" said Puck, screwing his face in mock disgust and turning to face Rachel, who was next in the circle. "Moving on…"
The rest of the group turned to face Rachel, still smiling after the laughter had died down.
"I pick Quinn" she stated, turning to her right slightly to face her. "Although we rarely see eye to eye, and I don't really like you at times, you do have wonderful bone structure and flawless skin."
Quinn rolled her eyes and bit her tongue in an effort not to respond with some cutting remark about Rachel's disastrous lack of fashion sense. She and Rachel were never going to be best friends, but most of the time they managed to at least be civil towards each other. Quinn had realised a while ago that Rachel usually didn't even realise how utterly rude and insulting she was being. So although Rachel would occasionally say something that made Quinn want nothing more than to slap her, Quinn was determined to keep the peace. This was one of those times. Instead of responding she turned to face Tina, giving her an expectant look.
"Who do you choose, T?" she asked.
Tina answered simply and honestly; "Mercedes. I need someone I know I can trust." and turned to Matt for his answer.
"Guys, I'm serious. I totally agree with Mike!" He answered "And hey, if a threesome is on offer, then who am I to turn that down?" he joked, smiling and winking at his friend across the circle.
After a few smiles and giggles, the eyes of the group turned to Puck, eager to hear his answer. Who would the notorious womaniser and self-proclaimed 'stud' choose? Puck didn't seem to have to give it much thought.
"Kurt" he said confidently. "Look at him, he's practically a girl anyway!
"Well, Noah, you certainly know how to make a boy feel loved" replied Kurt with a smile, batting his eyelids at Puck in an attempt to embarrass him. But Puck did not seem to mind. True, before joining glee club, he probably would have wanted to punch Kurt for such behaviour, but they had grown much more tolerant of each other in the last few months. And although neither would admit it, they both found that they actually quite enjoyed their little arguments.
The last person in the circle and therefore the only person left to answer was Quinn.
"Well, since everyone else has answered…" she sighed "I suppose, if I had to… be gay… I would choose Santana. As you said," she looked to Santana "I deserve someone as attractive as myself, although just a little less intelligent." She smiled at her friend to show that she wasn't being insulting and Santana smiled back.
After that, Rachel and Mike went to collect drinks for everyone and the rest of the group broke into small clusters, chatting and joking about each persons answers.
"Can you imagine if you'd asked Puck that question last year?" Mike asked, as he passed cans of cola to Rachel. She didn't need to think too hard to realise that that particular conversation would almost certainly have ended in a 'slushie facial' as they had become known. But they had come a long way as a group, even just in the last few weeks.
"Yeah" she answered, placing the cold cans on a tray with some candy she had found in the cupboard, "That would not have been a pleasant conversation". They both smiled and made their way back to the group with Mike carrying the tray as Rachel held the door open for him.
After everyone had eaten as much as junk food as they wanted, Rachel once more picked up the pink ring binder and began flicking through the various pages of ideas.
"Ok," she began, making sure she had everyone's attention, "What should we do next?"