Dry Ice
(Zarkai, Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto are at a ninja competition)
Zarkai: I wonder who's going first…
(Kakashi walks in)
Zarkai: Hey dad!
Kakashi: Hello little one. Hello everyone else.
Sasuke: Do you know who's going first, Kakashi sensei?
Kakashi: Actually, I do… Zarkai is going first…
(everyone stares at Zarkai)
Naruto: Aw, man! I wanted to go first! . What makes her so special!
Sasuke: SHUT UP MAN! Zarkai is the strongest of us all… (puts his arm around her) That's why I love her!
Sakura: (folds arms angrily) grumble, grumble (evil thoughts, evil thoughts, evil thoughts, grinds teeth)
Zarkai: (wide eyes) ME! AAAGGGHHH! … (calms down) Okay… I'm fine… who am I up against?
Kakashi: Gaara of the desert.
All except Zarkai: Wow… he's tough…
Zarkai: Aw, pshaw… I can handle it.
(Sasuke looks at her uneasily)
Sakura: (happy) Welp, it's been nice knowin' ya! (shakes Zarkai's hand vigorously) See ya in Hell, bitch!
Zarkai: (anger flares) Grrr… Let go of me before I lop off your hand and rip out your throat!
Sakura: (frightened puppy) EEEEK! (hides behind Naruto) HELP ME!
Naruto: Don't worry Sakura, I'll protect you! (hugs her) smile
Sakura: (disgusted) UGH! Get off me you sicko! (kicks him in the balls)
Naruto: OWCH! (clutches his manhood in pain)
Sasuke: Ha ha! Naruto, you got owned, dude!
Zarkai: (uncontrollable laughter) Ha Ha! Awww, leave the poor kid alone!
Kakashi: (walks over to Zarkai and puts hand on her shoulder) Are you sure you can handle Gaara, little one?
Zarkai: Yeah, I'll figure somethin' out. Remember, Dad, I'm a Vampire!
Kakashi: Yes… that you are… (still uneasy)
(next day at competition)
Announcer dude: From the left corner, enter Gaara of the desert!
(Gaara enters the ring)
Announcer dude: And from the right corner, enter local favorite Zarkai Hatake!
(Zarkai enters the ring)
Announcer dude: Begin the fight!
Zarkai: (thinking) Okay… I've heard the stories. I know that Gaara is powerful. But I have a hypothesis… and if it is correct, I've got a plan! Time to test it!
(Zarkai rushes at Gaara and tries kicking him in the face)
Zarkai: I hope I'm right! Hiyaah!
(Zarkai's kick is deflected by Gaara's wall of sand)
Gaara: Hmph… stupid weakling… you can't touch me…
Zarkai: Ha! Just as I thought! Alrighty then!
Gaara: Huh? Wha?
Zarkai: Time for some Vampire speed!
(up in the stands)
Naruto: What the Hell was she thinking! Doesn't she know that she can't hurt Gaara!
Sasuke: Shut up loser, she's only testing him! She'll kick this beach-head's ass!
Sakura: Pssh… yeah right… She doesn't stand a chance! Gaara'll be sending her back in a matchbox!
Sasuke: (mimicking) Blah blah blah blah matchbox, SHUT UP!
(back to the fight)
Zarkai: Here I come! Ready or NOT!
(Zarkai uses her Vampire speed to seem invisible and runs up to Gaara)
Gaara: What the Hell? Where did she…?
Zarkai: (gets behind Gaara) Say goodnight Scarhead! Ha Ha! (gives him a sidewinder kick that sends him sprawling)
Gaara: How did you do that! No one's ever been able to touch me!
Zarkai: Oh, sorry, you didn't catch that? That's alright I can do it again.
(Zarkai runs like before, but this time comes in front of Gaara's face)
Zarkai: Boo. (headbutts him)
Gaara: Uck! (flies backward)
Zarkai: (uncontrollable laughter) Who's the weakling now? (levitates 10 ft.) Now's your chance to give up. If you do, you'll save yourself a lot of pain.
Gaara: (gets up) Ugh… Never!
Zarkai: Hmph… your funeral… now then, let's get rid of that nasty little gourd, shall we?
(Zarkai uses her mind control to prevent Gaara's legs from moving and raise his hands over his head)
Gaara: Wha-what is this! I can't move!
Zarkai: Exactly…
(in the stands)
Sasuke: Yes! She's got him now!
Naruto: What's she doing?
Sasuke: You'll see… (sly grin)
Kakashi: (thinking) Hmmm… I didn't know my daughter's powers were so powerful… I underestimated her.
(back to the battle)
Zarkai: Heh heh…
(Zarkai uses mind control to make Gaara take the gourd off of his back)
Gaara: Wait, you can't!
Zarkai: Sure I can!
(Zarkai makes him throw the gourd to her)
Gaara: Noooooo!
Zarkai: (catching the gourd) That's a good boy… (Zarkai floats to the stands and hands the gourd to Sasuke) … Can you hang on to this for a second baby?
Sasuke: Sure! (takes the gourd from her)
Zarkai: Thanks!... (floats back to Gaara) … now… beg for mercy… (evil smile)
Gaara: (scared) Whatcha gonna do! WHATCHA GONNA DO!
Zarkai: A little of this… (uses mind control to make Gaara punch himself in the face)
Gaara: Owch!
Zarkai: And a little of this… (makes Gaara slap himself) Quit hittin' yourself! Ha ha!
Gaara: Ow ow ow ow!
Zarkai: And now for the grand finale! (chuckles)
(Zarkai finally makes Gaara punch himself repeatedly in the balls)
Gaara: (between punches) punch Okay! punch You win! punch I give! punch Mercy! punch Uncle! punch Stop! punch
Zarkai: Oh, fine, just stop your whining already! Yeesh… (makes Gaara punch himself out cold)
(in the stands)
Sasuke: Yeah! Boo-yah! Zarkai, you did it! Woohoo! (victory dance)
Naruto: WOW! O Zarkai, you rock!
Kakashi: (jumping up and down) YES! YES! YES!
Sakura: Hmph… it wasn't that special… I could do that… grumble…
Zarkai: (comes back down on the ground and walks over to Gaara, helping him stand up) Come on, I've got you…
Gaara: Why are you helping me? I'm the loser!
Zarkai: No one is a loser in my book… You fought honorably and I respect you for it… That is why I offer my help to you.
Gaara: Oh. Well thanks for that. (shakes Zarkai's hand) I misjudged you. You are a true shinobi.
Zarkai: We all make mistakes. I look forward to our next battle… Gaara.
Gaara: Likewise… Zarkai.
(Sasuke, Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura come out of the stands to congratulate Zarkai)
Kakashi: (puts hands on Zarkai's shoulders) Well done, little one. You've made your father very proud. (hugs her)
Zarkai: I try, father.
Naruto: (in awe) Zarkai that was AMAZING! You have got to teach me how to do that!
Zarkai: Ha ha okay, Naruto. (high fives him)
Sakura: Well… that was pretty good I guess… Congrats…
Zarkai: Um… thanks, I guess… (shakes Sakura's hand)
Sasuke: You did it Zarkai! You did it! (lifts her up and spins her around)
Zarkai: Yes, and all because you believed in me! (throws her arms about his neck and they kiss)