A/N: Ok, I'm back writing parodies. This, I must say, is a refresher from my serious Hannah Montana Evanescence oneshot collection. Anyways, here's a brand-new parody for all of you! I just saw Hairspray (the movie musical) the other week (TWICE IN A ROW!), so here's a parody on that. Not that this show isn't funny enough already, but this is my take on it. Enough of my babbling, on to the show!
World: Musical/Movie (mostly Musical, songs not in the movie are included)
Disclaimer: I wish I did own Hairspray…and Zac Efron, too!
Dedication: To…to…to…Meg, 'cause she loves Hairspray, too (mostly BECAUSE of Zac Efron)
Tracy: Goooooooood morning, Baltimore!
Citizens: Baltimore itself can't answer back, because it's a city. So, we'll sing too!
Tracy: Look at my hair!
Citizens: Yeah, try to look AROUND it in school…
Tracy: Ahem. This is my big opening number. Can we have a little cooperation, please?
Citizens: Sorry.
Tracy: Baltimore and meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Citizens: Glad THAT'S over. Let's go back to our regular lives and act as if we were never singing and dancing at all.
Tracy: C'mon, Penny! We need to go home NOW to watch more TV!
Penny: panting heavily Right…pant behind…pant ya, Tracy!
Tracy: IT'S THE CORNY COLLINS SHOW!
Tracy and Penny: SQUEE!
Corny: Ah, who needs school? Drop out and become…one of ussssss.
Council Members: Look at us! We're so perfect and popular and on TV!
Amber: And you LOSERS aren't!
Corny: Uh, Amber, we're on LIVE…
Amber: WhatEVER! My mommy's your boss! Smiles sweetly
Corny: CUT TO COMMERCIAL PLEASE!!!!
Velma: Is something wrong, Corny?
Corny: N…not at all, Velma.
Velma: Nothing wrong with my daughter?
Corny: Reading off random index card, for moments like this No, Velma. Your daughter is perfect. We must get more shots of her.
Velma: That's a good host.
Corny: Sighs and mutters under breath They can't pay me enough sometimes…
Tracy: IT'S LIIIIIIIIIIINK!
Random fangirls: LINK!!!!!!!! SUPER HOTTIE!!!!! Scream
Edna: Turn it down, Tracy! Hello, Penny.
Penny: Hi, Mrs…MOM!
Prudy: 'Ello, Edna. Is my laundry done yet?
Edna: Yep'm, and your daughter is…
Prudy: PENNY PINGLETON!
Penny: Busted again…
Prudy: PUNISHED! Drags Penny away
Corny: We have an opening…a nine month opening…c'mon down to the station and audition tomorrow!
Tracy: PLEEEEEEEEEEASE?
Edna: No.
Tracy: PRETTY please?
Edna: No.
Tracy: Pretty please with…
Edna: No.
Tracy: pouts
Wilbur: Go for it, honey.
Tracy: YAYYYYYYY!!
Penny: But mom…
Prudy: Brain rotting junk will do you no good, Penny.
Penny: But…
Prudy: No.
Penny: Mama…
Prudy: No, Penny.
Penny: Mama, I'm a big girl…
Prudy: No!
Amber: Mother…
Velma: Shut up! Cha cha, quickstep, mambo, and waltz TWO three, STEP two three…
Amber: MOTHER!!
Velma: Ignorant Mashed potato, bird, tango, TWO three, ONE two three…
Amber: UH!!
Tracy: Shows up at studio
Link: Do do do do
Tracy: Bumps into him
Link: Hey, sorry, doo doo doo doo
Tracy: GAH!
Penny: He's cuuuuuuute…
Tracy: I can hear the…
Penny: Ice cream man?
Tracy: No. I can hear the…
Penny: Music?
Tracy: NO!! I can hear the…
Penny: Amber's whining?
Tracy: LET ME FINISH!! I can hear the….BELLS…
Penny: Ohhhh, ok!
Tracy: Tries to audition
Velma: I was Miss Baltimore Crabs in blahdy blahdy blah…
Tracy: See me? Over here!
Velma: Too fat. Next!
Tracy: But…I didn't get to bust a move?
Amber: Listen to my mommy. Buh bye!
Tracy: Cries
Lil'Inez: Can I dance?
Velma: GASP! A Negro girl! BYE!!
Lil'Inez: Cries 'cause Velma's a big meanie
Teacher: DETENTION, Tracy!
Tracy: Aww, man!
Seaweed: Hey.
Tracy: Can ya teach me that dance?
Seaweed: SURE!
Tracy: What's your name?
Seaweed: Seaweed J. Stubbs.
GirlInTheMirror121: Stubbs…I know someone named Stubbs…funny.
Seaweed: Do you hear voices?
Tracy: Hey, yeah…
GirlInTheMirror121: Don't mind me, kids. Have your fun…
Tracy and Seaweed: Okkkkkkk…
Seaweed: Hey, what's your name?
Tracy: Tracy Turnblad!!
Seaweed: Awesome. Hey, do you watch The Corny Collins Show?
Tracy: I WATCH IT RELIGIOUSLY!!
Seaweed: My mama's Motormouth Maybelle.
Tracy: From Negro Day?! YAYYYY!!
Seaweed: Yep. Hey, you should come on to the sock hop and strut your stuff.
Tracy: Okie dokie!
Crowd: She's really good!
Amber: She's really FAT!
Link: That's not nice, Amber. I think she's pretty cool, AND a great dancer under breath who doesn't stuff her bra…
Amber: HUH!
Link: It takes two to tango…but it only takes one to kiss Tracy!
Crowd: Awwz!
Producer and Corny: You're hired!
Tracy, Seaweed, Link: YAYYY!!
Amber: NOOOO!! Mommy, fix this!
Velma: Don't worry, baby. Mommy has this covered.
Amber: But she's in the lead for Miss Teenage Hairspray!
Velma: Oh no she i-sn't!
Amber: Oh yes she i-is!
Velma and Amber: Grrr….
Edna: Baby girl, let's celebrate!
Tracy: OMG Mom, you're leaving the house!
Edna: Oh God…
Tracy: C'mon, Mama!
Edna: As long as there's food…
Tracy: LOTS of it!
Edna: Why didn't you say so? LET'S GO!!
Tracy: Welcome to the…
Edna: Food place?
Tracy: Noooo the 60's!
Edna: Oh…
Penny: Who's THAT guy?
Tracy: Seaweed, this is Penny. Penny…this is Seaweed.
Penny and Seaweed: Love at first sight
Link: Look out!
Tracy: Knocked out by Amber's dodgeball
Link: Traaaaacy….wake up, Tracy! Oh no, looks like I'll have to kiss her…
Tracy: All better!
Link: I love you.
Tracy: What about Amber-the-slut?
Link: Amber who?
Tracy: Good point.
Seaweed: Run and tell…
All: THAT!
Motormouth: We can't dance on TV anymore! (I hate you Velma!)
Tracy: Not if I can help it!
Motormouth: Are you sure, darlin'?
Tracy: Yes. Link? You want to help?
Link: My career…I'm…sorry…Runs away
Tracy: Link! My love! NOOOOO!!! Penny…
Penny: Hmmm?
Tracy: I'm sad…
Seaweed: Yeah, whatever…
Penny: That's great, Tracy…
Tracy: It's helpless…
Penny and Seaweed: Making out Did you say something, Tracy?
Edna: I'm fat…
Motormouth: Nah, you're just big, blonde and beautiful/
Edna: I'm not blonde…
Motormouth: Oh yeah. Well, you get my point anyway…
Edna: Yeah, sure…
All: WHOO!!
Act 1 es finito. LOL, felt like using a little Español there. Anyways, I think this is pretty good. Let me know, as my fans and readers/reviewers, what you think. And to anyone who's never read my stories before, welcome! I have written two other parodies, one for Phantom of the Opera and one for Chicago. Go read them! I'll post Act 2 next week. Fans of HME, the next chapter (Bring Me To Life, per request of musiclover94) will be posted later this week. ENJOY! P.S. Push the button…the review button…