Heeeeey people XDDDD Well, I think as my first fanfic this will start off a little slow but I'll try to thicken the plot…. With thickness _ *cough cough Yeah ||_….. So yeah, please read, review, tell me how much of a shitty writer I am |||D Yeah constructive criticism yada yada ON WITH THE STORY :O!
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Summary: Naruto Uzumaki is like any gender-assured young man on the internet. Sure he'll fake being a girl, lie to the person he has become closest to, and dump it all on a certain Sakura Haruno but… Oh boy… NaruSasu with some SasuSaku and past NaruSaku
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Chapter 1
Hesitant fingers pushed the door closed behind him. It was completely void of light in the small apartment save for the dim glow that seeped from the master bedroom. He crept forward silently, hushing the small pup that was burrowed inside his hoodie, and peered into where his best friend was sitting.
The hunched over figure of Naruto Uzumaki was currently transfixed on a computer screen. His brilliant blue eyes were glazed over as he slew one troll after another, clicking almost desperately now as his magica was almost fully depleted.
Kiba decided it was time to make his presence known to his friend. "HEY WHAT'S UP BUDDY?" Naruto shrieked in terror, falling out of his chair and into a vulnerable position for Akamaru's attack.
"THE HELL KIBA?" Naruto's fury died down as the small pup slobbered on him affectionately. After returning his love with a few gentle pats, he stood up and looked at the goofy brunette in the far corner of the room.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he grinned sheepishly. 'Liar =-=,' Naruto silently fumed. "Just that I haven't seen you for a while… Where have you been? You've missed two days of work, and the old man IS NOT happy. I thought you might be sick or something but you look just fine…"
"Eh, I've just been a little busy," Naruto scratched the back of his head. His gaze couldn't help but travel to the abandoned game on the screen, and his face paled at what he saw.
"Hmm?" Kiba turned his attentions to the screen as well. "What's this? Is this what you've been doing all this time?" From the piled up bowls and chip bags on the desk, he got his answer. "Don't tell me you're one of those Planet of Combat addicts." Kiba seemed genuinely concerned for his friend, before he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. "No way man, no way!" he was now doubled over in his mirth. Naruto would have punched him, were he not weak with muscle atrophy and sodium overload. Kiba plopped himself in front of the computer. When he began to type, Naruto snapped back into his senses and tried to pull Kiba out of his seat.
"What do you think you're doing dog breath?"
"Relax. I'm just replying to these messages."
"YOU'RE WHAT?" The blonde looked at the chatbox, horrified. As it would seem, his battle companion was wondering (with much irritation) why he would go AFK without telling him. This irritation, by the way, was only intensified by Kiba's trolling.
"I'm guessing you're this HOTramenFOX? Wow dude. Seriously? You made your character an elf? With boobs… A GIRL ELF?" Kiba snickered.
Naruto shoved him out of the chair. "For one, of course I made an elf! I mean, elves are TALL IMMORTAL WARRIORS WHO KICK ASS WITH MAGIC! See, I'm currently training with this guy so I can get stronger. And soon enough, I'm going to be grand mage! DATTEBAYO!" He coughed, before adding, "and secondly, I made a girl because… I mean… Uhhh… Just look at it this way. If you were in a Multi Online Role Playing game, would you rather be staring at a dude's ass the whole time, or a girl's? Seriously dude, look at that ass!"
"... It weirds me out that you're obviously turned on by pixels, but some small part of me sees your point... Actually, a pretty huge part of me Aheheheh…. Very, very huge…. Heh…." Naruto rolled his eyes. He's been friends with Kiba since kindergarten. They've taken many a leak together! He's not as big as he thinks he is~ "So… Are you coming back to work any time soon or are you gonna' sit on your ass until you're evicted from your apartment?"
Naruto sighed. "I'll be back soon… I'm just questing with my friend while he's still on vacation… So I'll be back.. Abouuut… Thursday.. Yeah Thursday."
"I'm not going to stop you, but I'm just saying. When you come back from" Kiba gestured to the glowing screen, "all of this, you might not have a job to come back to."
"Eh, that Pervy-guru couldn't do without me" the blonde stated with his usual cockiness as he waved his hand dismissively. Naruto knew that deep down his boss, self proclaimed 'love guru' of the city of Konoha, had a soft spot for him. Deep, deep down there.. Somewhere in that beer belly… "Don't worry about me." His big grin didn't dissipate the unease that grew within Kiba, but all the same it was about time he take Akamaru out for his afternoon pee…
"Alright. See you Thursday then. And hey, mind if I grab a Soda from the fridge?"
"Sure thing buddy!" Naruto eased back into his world of valor and enchantment, barely paying any attention to the rustling in the nearby kitchen.
"Ah man, you only have Sunkist. I hate orange!"
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FLASHBACK:
It was dark, dank, and musty. Though she could occasionally hear the screams of fallen adventurers, what concerned the mage most was the unnerving silence of the cave. With the occasional drip, drip, dripping of water from stalactite to stalagmite and the slithering of beasts that dwelled within, it was like something was watching her, waiting for her to step into their trap. To make matters worse, Fox thought she heard footsteps behind her.
The hairs on her neck stood on end. Her mind told her to leave. Now. She had too little experience, was much too weak. Despite her mind's pleas, she was stubborn. She was on a quest, and she was going to complete it goddamn it!
What she was currently after was the Augma Infinum. There was a rumor she heard around Hammer's-head that anyone who got their hands on this book would have access to unlimited power. How true this was she did not know. But she needed the Augma. It seemed to her that without it, she was weak, for despite her endless amounts of training, she was a lowlevel. She was shunned every which way she went. A petty newb not even worth speaking to.
"Lost, little girl?" Fox gulped, turning around to face the massive orc behind her. "I'm feeling kind today, so I'll point you in the right direction. The exit is over there, behind those two dead Nords I just slew."
She wanted very much to say something witty, but all that came out of her mouth was, "Uhmmm well IT SEEMS IT IS YOU WHO IS LOST! Do you know who you are speaking to? To you understand my awesomeness? I AM FOX OF THE HIDDEN LEAF KINGDOM! IF YOU DON'T WANT YOUR HEAD TO BE LIKE…. Taken off.. I guess… THEN I SUGGEST YOU GO BACK THE WAY YOU CAME! DATTEBAYO!"
The orc chuckled. "I warned you, little one." He withdrew glowing mace of frostbite and got into a battle stance.
A minor wind-spell glowed within the palms of Fox's hands. Her magic wasn't strong enough to do anything to this guy. He was level 86! All the same, she would go down fighting. She rushed forward, aiming for his face. It took no effort for the orc to dodge, before he drew back his mace and slammed Fox with it.
The squelching crack rang around the cavern. It was very clear she wouldn't be able to get back up after that attack. She spewed blood onto the floor, struggling to breathe as several of her ribs were broken. Her eyes were shut tightly in preparation for the final blow that was going to end her life.
It never came, however. One eye cracked open tentatively. She gasped at what she saw. The orc was fallen, blood pooling around him. This wasn't what surprised her, however. Standing above him was a dark elf in shrouded armor, his eyes veiled beneath a now bloodied cowl.
END OF FLASHBACK (for now :P)
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Naruto sighed. Kiba was such a pain.
HOTramenFOX: Hey, sorry bout that ||||D My dumbass friend just barged in here
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: Don't do it again dobe. =_=
HOTramenFOX: IT WAZNT EVEN MY FAULT! AND WHO ARE YOU CALLING DOBE TEME D:! PFFFAAAA so this is how you treat a lady =.=
(Naruto shifted uncomfortably in his seat. It would be a lie to say that he didn't enjoy playing a girl character. He was never able to experience this in the real world, but the female gender tends to command a bit more of respectful consideration in conversation. Who wouldn't get tired of talking man to man? Dudes could be real assholes to one another! Naruto fisted his fingers through his hair, 'Well, I guess it's not lying if it's just online? Right? RIGHT? Ah well….')
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: No, no it's not
HOTramenFOX: :D Oh so now you'll be nicer to me?
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: You didn't let me finish.
HOTramenFOX: =0.0=
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: Before you rudely interrupted me
HOTramenFOX: PFFFTTT!
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: I'll ignore that. =.= Anyways, I was going to say that that isn't how I would treat a lady. However, it is how I would treat a dobe like you.
HOTramenFOX: GRRRRR! *punches you in the face
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: Ooooh wow. I'm reeling on the floor in pain. Somebody call an ambulance. -.-
HOTramenFOX: …. Shut up teme =~=
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: LOL You're such an idiot. Anyways…. I've been wanting to ask you for a while… My vacation will end soon, and I won't be able to play Planet of Combat quite so much (if at all). Soooo…. How about I give you my facebook and you can friend me on there? That sound good?
(FFFFF! FUFUFFUFU! Naruto felt like he was about to have a heart attack. What was he going to do? Raven couldn't see his facebook! He would think that he was a liar... He might possibly lose the closest friend he's ever had….)
HOTramenFOX: ….. No offense Raven, but I'm afraid you'll rape me in my sleep. ||
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: =.=
HOTramenFOX: I'm serious! You could be like, a pedo or something!
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: … How old are you again?
HOTramenFOX: 23
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: Well, here's the first fatal flaw in your logic: I'm the same age as you, dobe =.= And FYI, if I were to sodomize anyone, what makes you think it would be you?
HOTramenFOX: YEAH! WELL! D:!... .-.
X B l o o d i e d R a v e n X: Look, I'll just give you my email. You can friend me if you want, I don't really care.
HOTramenFOX: … Teme = ^ =
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Naruto's jaw dropped. Yes, he had envisioned many faces for his friend Raven. (Most of those mental images leaned toward the emo side of the spectrum. Yeah, that would explain the overly dramatic name…) But what he saw now….
Sasuke Uchiha looked like he came from the front cover of Vogue magazine. His delicate features made him handsome. His cold demeanor made him seem unapproachable and yet his eyes possessed some sort of 'animal magnetism' that dared people to try and get closer. Naruto couldn't help but stare at those eyes frozen in time, in a face that was framed perfectly by hair molded into a perfect chicken's ass. (See? He knew he was emo. :p)
"Kami, this guy looks like a real jerk!" The blonde glared at the screen. "What am I saying… HE IS A JERK! FOR SURE! Gaaah." He chewed his thumbnail nervously. He couldn't just not friend him… Besides the fact that he would insult him, he knew that he was starting to get suspicious… Okay maybe Naruto was just being paranoid, but he'd get suspicious at one point or another! Believe it!
Suddenly it dawned on him. Sasuke hadn't seen him yet! He wouldn't know the difference if…
He quickly logged off his account. His gaze shifted from side to side and the hairs prickled on the back of his neck. He knew no one else was in the room, but he could swear he felt a disturbance in the force. He shrugged it off, knowing that it was more likely to do with the fact that he was going to hack into the account of his dear ex girlfriend who was almost like a sister to him. (If they hadn't slept together…) Like an overbearing, violent, pink-headed sister… That he had seen naked… He was going to die for doing this.
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(So you're probably wondering how Naruto and Sasuke became friends in the first place |||D I'm too lazy to put it in now.. NEXT CHAPTER :O Along with all the other gender confusion tomfoolery .|| )
Yup. Hope that wasn't too painful to read ||D Please leave comments on my writing and schtuff .|||