DIS: I've always been a major supporter of Otogi/Shizuka, despite my dislike of Shizuka. I felt that it would make a funny story imagining Honda's attempts to foil their relationship.

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Title: You can't have her, Otogi!

Rating: T for mild language

Genre: Humor

Summary: Honda fully intends to attack Otogi and Shizuka's relationship and take the girl for his own. The only problem is, all of his plans are backfiring on him! Humor!

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh

Notes/Warnings: Otogi/Shizuka; humor;

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You can't have her, Otogi!

Introducing...HONDA HIROTO!

The thing about Otogi Ryuuji is that he is a dirty little whore. Yes, I've said it. I remember when I first met him. Flicking his hair like he owned the world and batting his pretty green eyes...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY BROWN EYES AND SHORT BROWN HAIR??

What's more, he was flaunting his money around like...like...LIKE HE OWNED THE WORLD! (Which, if it came down to him or Kaiba, Kaiba would TOTALLY own the world, so...Yeah...How do you them apples?)

Yes, I am Honda Hiroto and I am the best friend of the brother of the woman that I deserve! Hmm...That's a kind of complicated introduction now that I think of it.

Eh, whatever.

In any case, after all the drama of this and that and Otogi gave Shizuka his number –

SHE CALLED HIM!

I have her MY number but she never called ME! I bet it's because I have a more common eye color, isn't it? Or because I'm too old! She thinks I'm too old! DAMN YOU SHIZUKA KATSUYA!

...Wait a minute, Otogi's a year older than me.

Hehehe, then HE'S old.

Which means...

(OoO)

SHE LIKES OLDER MEN!!! NOOOOO! IT REALLY IS BECAUSE OF MY AGE! I'm too YOUNG for her! You know what? NO! It's not only because I'm young, it's because Otogi's richer. She's a gold digger! But a cute gold digger. Aw, who cares if she's a gold digger? She's so sweeeet and cuuuutte. (huggles picture of Shizuka) Ah...You gotta love her...

Hey...It just occurred to me...I'm talking to myself.

(o.o)

I wonder if women find that unattractive?

Hmm...

NAH! I AM TOTALLY THE MASTER OF ATTRACTIVENESS! (cackles and then shivers) Ew. That was a Bakura moment I had going on there. And that guy is icky. (ignores the glares from fan girls through his bedroom window)

But anyway.

I have developed an ingenious plan to make Shizuka love ME and not Otogi! I have the perfect plan to RUIN OTOGI RYUUJI and better yet, THIS plan, out of ALL of plans will not:

- Get me sent to the Shadow Realm

- Cause a stick to be shoved up my ass (I can't believe Marik actually went through with that threat...Ouch!)

- Have me beaten up by my best friend (Jou)

- Get me sent to the principal's office

OR!!!

- Cause me to look like a total and utter FOOL.

Hehehe...Yes, it is time that I undergo plan: BREAK OTOGI AND SHIZUKA UP!

DUN DUN DUN!

(cackles again, but this time doesn't stop)

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DIS: YESSS, finally another humor fic! Granted, it probably won't last long and it is one of my more bizarre and pointless ones with one of the top dips as the main character, but I have good feelings with this one. (sigh) And I don't even have to write well with it, which makes everything all the less stressful. Please click that lonely button below and tell me if you like the beginning and any ideas are greatly appreciated. Ciao!