Chapter 1: EMPIRE
Clarke put a consoling hand on the side of the whimpering child's face as I watched from the background. It always hit me somewhere when she showed absolute compassion to someone she barely knew. The child's face was familiar and I wondered what he did to get locked up, I leaned forward—an unnatural concern for my partner settling in my bones. What if this kid was some type of psycho killer? "Clarke," I grabbed her arm, "What's wrong with him?"
She moved her head back and forth, those blue eyes sending a chill up my arm. "Nightmares." She said quietly, "You can go back to bed." Her voice indicated that she did not plan on going to sleep anytime soon. I crossed my arms defiantly, leaning back against the wall. "Or not. Why do you always do the opposite of what I say?" Because it's fun.
"Nightmares about what?" I directed my question towards the boy, he leaned forward the freckles on his face being highlighted by the artificial light. His body was too close to Clarke for my liking. He looked around thirteen, probably fourteen at the oldest. I still worried for Clarke's safety even though I knew she was capable of taking care of herself, especially against the thin-shape of the boy.
"You don't have to answer that, Noah." Clarke swept back his hair carefully, "You don't have to go there again. You can stay with me tonight."
"Clarke—"
"I have the room, Bellamy. He shouldn't have to sleep alone." Her eyes darkened as she glared in my direction. She was daring me to do something about the decision she already made.
"You can stay with me." I told Noah, who turned his gaze to Clarke pleadingly. She continued to pet his hair as if he were a helpless child. No one was a child on the ground. They seemed to be having a conversation without saying anything.
She turned to look at me, "Can I stay, too?"
My mouth dropped open slightly and it took me a few moments to reply, "Yeah." I was supposed to sound like her staying the night was an inconvenience but instead, I sounded softer. It was something about the look in her eyes and the way that she asked me.
"We should go to bed. Are you ready to go to bed Noah?" Noah nodded and stood up from the floor of the metal room. Clarke brushed off her legs and looked at me. "Go get your things and meet us back at Bellamy's tent, okay?" If I were Noah, I would be highly pissed off with the way she was talking to him. The kid didn't even care—he seemed to like it. Noah walked lightly out of the drop ship and Clarke turned to me. "Are you sure it's okay if I stay…I'll make sure we're gone by morning but Noah has frequent nightmares. Before you ask why he's here just know that Noah has a mental condition and he's more like a seven year old than fourteen. He means me no harm."
"Then why is he here?"
"His mother was floated because she was supplementing her income and he attacked a guard. He has the mentality of a child, he attacked with the fury of a confused child. He didn't mean to hurt anyone." She clearly had a bond to the child. I exhaled, looking at her.
"I suppose this isn't the first time, then?"
"Just the first time you heard the screaming." Clarke said. I was angry that she hadn't informed me on what was going on during her nights. I was upset that she kept this from me because we are supposed to be partners. We started to walk towards my tent and I rubbed my palms together nervously. She was the last person I ever expected to be taking back to my raggedy shelter in the dead of the night. Clarke was pure, everyone knew it. Everyone also knew that she had sex with Finn. How could they not? The fights were becoming quite vulgar between Raven, Finn, and Clarke. Hint: Clarke never said anything to start the fight, she only finished it.
If I hadn't had my fair share of fantasies about the girl I would never have—because she was the girl that I could never have—I wouldn't have been nervous at all. I was suddenly aware of her fair skin, how her shirt moved up and down her back as she walked in long strides towards my tent. I was suddenly aware that I wanted her to sleep in my bed with me—not sex, it didn't have to end it sex. I just wanted to feel her next to me for one night. She pulled back the flap to the tent and moved around. "I can take the floor with Noah." She said, turning to me with a blush running up her skin.
I had to bite back a smirk at the sight, "Don't be ridiculous, princess. We can share a bed without it being awkward."
She was easily defeated because she was tired but a part of me wanted to think she had the urge to sleep in my bed with me like I had an urge to sleep in a bed with her. Like most things, we probably a different viewpoint on what we wanted. "Can I sleep on this side?" She pointed to the side where Noah would rest on the floor.
"Of course."
She kicked off her shoes, watching me intently with her every action. She was waiting for me to tell her she was making herself too comfortable but I never did. "I would have brought my own blankets except I don't…never mind." I was going to ask her to elaborate but Noah walked in and her eyes brightened. It was a look he'd only seen on one another person—the look of a mother. She stood up and helped him spread his blankets on the ground for the maximum amount of comfort. She explained that she would be right next to him if he had another nightmare. "You can wake me up if you need me but try not to wake up Bellamy, okay?" I watched as she brought the kid's head forward, kissing his forehead before turning to me.
How did such a kind creature exist down here? How did someone see the shittiest things but have the ability to do the most compassionate things? I couldn't wrap my head around it. I couldn't wrap my head around her. Our fighting was different these days…a lot less name-calling and a lot more results that benefitted people. We were always looking for a compromise rather than a win for our own egos. It was more of a team effort, now…I wasn't really complaining although, occasionally, I wanted to win a fight.
She moved, settling down in my bed. I looked at her, a heavy sigh escaping my lips before I pulled my shirt over my head. She was about to say something but she bit back her words and looked away from me, the blush returning. I willed her to stop blushing like that—it put thoughts into my head that I shouldn't have.
It made me think about her naked—a dangerous train of thought. It made me think of what type of sexual partner she was—was she loud? Did she scratch, she seemed like the type to scratch or the type that liked to be scratched…it's always the ones with the virginal attitudes and the positions of power. I felt the familiar tug of my pants as I looked down at her, bare chested and aroused.
I moved swiftly into the bed, moving the blankets over both of our bodies. In my experience, I never liked to look deep into someone's eyes after having relations with them…and normally there wasn't any of this before having sex with them. She turned on her side, mimicking my position as I looked at her body. "I think we should have a hunting part assembled soon."
"This is your idea of pillow-talk, princess?" My chuckle caused her to blush a deeper red. She rolled her eyes but then I silenced myself and we were only looking at each other. Looking at each other like we'd been looking at each other all night.
"Your bed is comfortable."
"Don't get any ideas."
"I'll try." She said sarcastically, "I've never done this before…"
"Babysit?"
Clarke sighed, "Shared a bed with a half-naked man in the middle of the night."
"Does it make you nervous?"
"Yes."
"What about Finn?"
"That was a moment of weakness. It wasn't like this…not that this is anything but two people sharing a bed." Clarke let out a loud breath as she struggled to explain herself. That's when I turned recklessly impulsive. I placed my hand on her hip and brought her closer. She gasped in shock but she did not pull back. She moved closer to me, her breasts pushing against my chest. She stole a glance over her shoulder at Noah, who looked asleep—good enough for me. I leaned my head down to kiss her but she tilted her neck back. "Wait…wait until he snores."
I groaned, watching Noah with an intensity I was not familiar with. I was both grateful for his presence (because with him, Clarke would not be here) and annoyed that he was there because I could be getting some pretty hot tongue action if he wasn't. Eventually, he let out a light snore—a snore she most likely took as a sign to sleep normally. My hand slipped down her hip, onto her ass and brought her leg to wrap around me. She pressed herself tightly to my body as I leaned down to take her lips as mine. A soft whimper sent my blood pumping when it passed through her parted mouth.
I've never felt the fabled spark of electricity—it never felt like lightning was singing my bones or small jolts were pumping through my veins—but I felt the heat she supplied. I felt her warmth in her touch as she gripped my back and I felt the chemistry circling through my blood as her tongue met mine. Our arms fought as we desperately tried to grip other parts of each other and our kiss deepened to a point that I thought meant "no return."
In all actuallatiy, she had more self-control than me. She broke the kiss with an airy laugh. "I'm not having sex with you when he's in your tent."
"What?"
"Bellamy." She said as if she were appalled with my reaction, "We can't have sex. If he wakes up, it was traumatize him. I don't need him having nightmares about you jumping me."
"I could think of worse nightmares."
"What if…" She thought about it and shook her head. "It's probably best if we leave it right here. It's not like we'll ever share a bed again. This was just a reaction between two adults because of unaddressed tension."
"Well we should address that tension, then." I said. She couldn't just work me up and decide she didn't want it—well, she could. No means no and everything but still… "Maybe tomorrow night."
"Tomorrow night." She agreed, "One time and we move on and we never talk about it again."
"If that's what you want."
"It will be."
"Fine." I laughed, "I think you'll change your mind but go ahead and set yourself up for failure."