Author: Ibilintu/Aryna/DaftDays
Pairing: NaruSasu
Rating: T
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Kishimoto Masashi, I'm just borrowing and making no profit at all.
A/N: Happy NaruSasu day! I hope it's a great day for all of you and let us celebrate it for many years.
This is a bit different to stuff I usually do but I got this idea a long time ago and wanted to be able to use it in one fic. I quite like the result actually, for once. Also, finally some canon stuff. Hope you all enjoy!
For Didi
Salty seawind blew over the vast ocean, taking a turn as it reached the shore and the high cliffs . It brushed gently against the rock before turning away and continuing its everlasting quest along the shore, crying softly as it went. The small waves were crowned with white foam as they got closer to the rocky shore and finally died on the rocks and the sand, the ocean pulling them back to its embrace. A lonely crab made its way through the rocks, hiding from the view of the hungry predators that circled in the sky looking for something worth of diving down. It walked around a larger rock and made sure to stay flat when a new wave washed over it, tugging gently at its shell to bring it to the sea with it, but the crab stayed where it was and when it was safe again, it headed to the little streak of sand between the cliffs that reached for the sky and the small rocks that covered the bottom of the ocean.
There was nothing to see but the water. The everlasting dance of the waves was spread across the view, carrying on to a shore somewhere in the distance. It was too far to see, too far to even imagine it to be there, and the water was all there was, the water and the waves and the softly crying birds on the sky. There were no clouds, no sun, no moon, the time of the day somewhere near the twilight and making everything beautiful and serene.
It wasn't silent, not like he had expected. The sound of the water hitting the shore, the wind brushing past the rocks, the seagulls... There was so much more noise than he had thought there would be. At first he had heard nothing, there had been only white and blinding light and nothing more, but slowly it was becoming clearer. His lids felt heavy as he forced them open, laying his gaze on the vast ocean that was unlike anything he had ever imagined. The beauty of it made his breath catch for a moment, his eyes slowly blinking as he took in the sight of the waves rolling closer to him and slowly breaking at his feet, bringing a momentary cold flush over him before it was gone again. It was so beautiful, so empty yet so full os something indescribable that had him holding his breath for a while before he took in a long breath, getting familiar with the salty scent the waves carried to him.
"So you're here too."
A familiar voice. A voice that was low and flowing like the waves themselves, a voice that carried easily over the water and caught him completely, a voice unlike any other voice he had ever heard. The voice caught something inside him, pulling and yanking until he knew there had been pain at the time, but now he was empty. There was nothing, nothing in him now, no pain and not even clear memories. Just a feeling somewhere deep inside, a feeling that the voice was something special. It belong to someone, someone he knew well, someone he had known for a long time... Someone important.
Sasuke.
The voice had come from his right, almost like someone was standing right next to him yet somewhere very afar at the same time. He tried to turn his head, to look at the direction, but he found out his couldn't turn his head at all. It was like glued to where he stood, is nose pointing forward to the sea and refusing to turn away. He stood still, getting familiar with his body again, the cool rock behind his back solid and soothing as he leaned against it, a feeling of familiarity and calm spreading over him as he allowed his eyes to fall shut for a while. He could feel his fingers spread open and pressed to the rock, he could tell exactly how his arms were positioned next by his sides just like he'd just been standing still all relaxed, he felt the air between his slightly spread knees that proved him a stable standing position. What he couldn't feel were his feet, his toes and heels completely gone from his sensors as he tried to grasp the feeling of them. But nothing came, only the feeling of his body ending before his feet began remaining, and very slowly he opened his eyes again.
The light had changed. The sky was dark and the birds had gone silent on the sky, leaving it to be commanded by the legion of stars that spread all across the lightening sky like someone had thrown them there, to light the darkness. Somewhere on his left there was a faint glow of a rising sun, a small ring of light that was slowly pushing up from the dark waters, greeted with the first seagulls that rose to the morning sky, only to be joined by their kin as the sun rose higher above the horizon.
He smiled softly even though his lips didn't move, and finally turned to look right. His could only move his eyes but it was enough, enough for him to see what he wanted to see. It was almost as though he had been placed to this very spot on purpose, from here he could see everything yet nothing more than he had to. And what he saw brought the pulling in his chest back, the place where he supposed his heart was suddenly aching a little as he let his eyes rest on the breathtaking sight.
Sasuke.
He was there. Sasuke was there, the same Sasuke he had known for so long and to who the voice belonged. Sasuke was there with him, standing with his back to the same rock, the waves crashing into his legs as well.
And as the sun rose higher, the longest rays finally reaching their shore and Sasuke's feet, climbing higher over his body and illuminating the flawless complex, that was when he started to understand.
The light, almost marble-like rock looked like it was slowly creeping over the man, holding him to a tight, loving hug and never planning to let go. It had been wrong to say he had leaned against the rock when in reality he was the rock. The white marble continued out of the rock, sculpting Sasuke's body in the finest detail, every muscles beautifully formed and highlighted by shadows playing on the stone. His frame was not hidden by clothing of any kind, leaving his entire body visible, but he had no feet, his ankles were melted into the rock he was a part of. That was where he began and where he grew from, the shadows forever changing as the sun rose higher, the light changing direction. The hair that had been intense blue black at the time was now white and still, the wind unable to sway the dark locks as they remained hacked to the rock, framing the graceful face. The only spot of color were the dark eyes, the same darkness that had always been there inside Sasuke was now reflected in his stony eyes. It was a perfect replica of Sasuke's face, all the details remained as far as he could see, even the tiny wrinkles at the corners of his eyes that appeared whenever the man was worried or nervous. Other than that he looked calm, more relaxed and content than he had ever seen Sasuke, and that was slowly bringing the calm over him as well.
"Sasuke."
The dark eyes closed for a moment, hiding the last flame of life of the beautiful man, leaving him resemble a masterpiece of a sculpture forgotten by the seashore as the people who had once created it had slowly vanished within time. Time had not yet gotten it's teeth on the sculpture, leaving the stone man polished and beautiful, the last landmark of forgotten ages.
The spell was broken when Sasuke opened his eyes again, turning them to look back at him, silent but expecting.
"Naruto", he stated slowly, his voice still low and serene, just like it had been before.
Naruto.
Yes, that was his name. Naruto. It hadn't felt important before, names were not important in a place where you only had you and him and the ocean, but it was true. He was Naruto.
The invisible smile pulled at his lips again, reflecting in the shockingly blue eyes that shone from the white stone and finally reaching Sasuke was well.
"We're statues." It was just stating the obvious and Naruto knew it, but he thought it was probably in order now. His gaze rested on Sasuke's face as he waited for an answer, happy with anything he would get. It was an entirely new feeling to him, knowing that he wasn't going anywhere and that he didn't have to go anywhere, not anymore, not ever. He was here and this was where he belonged and where he would belong till the end of times and he belonged there with Sasuke.
He didn't see Sasuke shake his head but it was easy to imagine the raven doing so as he stood there, facing the ocean but looking at Naruto.
"No", he answered softly, his voice soft and thoughtful yet firm like he had been there for a long time, planning to say exactly that when Naruto brought it up.
"More like... carvings."
Naruto found himself captured by that opinion, his gaze running over Sasuke's body and then going black as he closed his eyes, letting himself feel the rock behind him and how his body molded seamlessly into the hard, cold matter. He could feel the stone, the earth behind it, the water that splashed against his ankles and then disappeared, he could feel the sand of the shore, but the stone was the most important. Naruto couldn't exactly tell where his body ended and where the cliff started, he couldn't tell them different, and he realized Sasuke was right. They weren't statues, a separated part hacked away from the mother stone and left standing on their own, but carved to the stone, sculpted from it without taking them away, leaving them as part of the larger complex. They were connected to the rock and that way to each other as well with a bond that was never to be destroyed.
"You're right", the blonde admitted if a bit reluctantly, opening his eyes again and looking out at the sea. The sky was dark and the stars were slowly lighting up on the blank canvas, reflecting on the calm waters. Sasuke was looking at him, he could feel the dark gaze directed at him and he smiled again, the stony mouth remaining motionless but the blue eyes lighting up with the new stars on the horizon.
"The time passes fast here", Naruto observed then, looking back at Sasuke to meet the dark eyes and see if the man was at all impressed with him being that observant. It was impossible to read anything from the black pools though, just like it had always been to most people, and Naruto let the smile still flicker across his face as he looked away again, liking the way the stars tinkled almost like they were winking at him. They were the stars he had always seen on the sky ever since he was a child and they would probably never change, not anymore.
Sasuke was silent as well, until the morning sun started to slowly climb up to the sky, shooing away the smaller lights and sending them to hiding to wait for the next night. Then he sighed, the soft sound carrying over the water like a gust of wind before it died again.
"No", he started, just like he'd done earlier, making it feel like a mantra or some sort, completing a circle, "you just have more of it so it doesn't matter anymore."
"This is not exactly what I expected", Naruto stated, having woken up from a peaceful slumber that wasn't exactly sleeping but not being conscious either. It was the way they sometimes passed time here, nothing they needed but what was to be enjoyed. Counting days had become impossible after something like 40 had passed and Naruto had given it up, instead just enjoying the way everything worked in circles, the days and night taking turns in a beautiful, simple rhythm that never changed. It was more soothing than everything he had ever expected, just watch the days go by and do nothing to hold them there. They didn't need him and he didn't need them. He didn't need anything, actually, from this world.
Except Sasuke.
"Me either", the raven agreed, his voice a bit rough from the sleep-like slumber he'd been indulged in before a sharp cry from a seagull somewhere high above had brought them both back to present, a weird air lingering above the ocean that day.
"But I like it."
Naruto would've nodded and he almost tried, the old habits sticking hard, but he caught himself in time and just blinked in agreement, the smile again playing in his eyes. It was becoming the best way to express yourself here, letting everything show through your eyes, allow Sasuke to see into him instead of trying to make the man see what he did with his body, to make him understand with words and looks instead of touches and fights.
"Me too." It was an interesting moment, the sun going down at their right and painting everything in stunning reds and golds for a moment. No matter how many sunsets they witnessed here, Naruto knew it would never fail to amaze him and he took a long moment to appreciate the glorious sight.
Then it was gone and almost complete darkness swallowed them, hiding Sasuke from his eyes and only the sound of the waves echoed between the cliffs for a moment.
"I just... I always imagined I would go, well, not old but... Older. Protecting the village as the Hokage, probably sacrificing myself to save everyone else from some kind of terrifying enemy. Kinda like my father, you know."
Sasuke scoffed, his marble white features slowly starting to appear against the dark sky as the moon crawled out from it's hiding place, claiming the skies for a moment. Then the man fell silent for a while as though lost in thought. When he finally spoke he sounded almost careful with his words, something like confusion echoing in his voice.
"Didn't you, then?"
Naruto thought of frowning, easily imagining how it would felt to wrinkle his forehead and let the slightly worried look slip to mar his features. It had been so easy, back then, but now he didn't really need the expressions anymore, not really.
"I... I don't think so." It bothered him a little, that he couldn't remember clearly. He hadn't thought about it before but now that he did he realized there was nothing. He couldn't, no matter how hard he tried, recall what had happened before he had woken up here. But he was fairly certain that he hadn't made it to the Hokage's throne yet, not even close.
"I see." That was all Sasuke said, going silent again.
Naruto followed in suit, falling into his thoughts as he watched the sun rise and then fall again. It truly hadn't occurred to him before, how little he could remember of his previous life. There were a few memories, memories of growing up and being lonely and hated and memories of people who had laughed at him, bullied him. Then there were newer memories of his time at the Academy and finally, of his team. He could recall the night he and Sasuke had climbed the trees to the top the first time and how scared and afraid he had been when the raven had almost died in that battle on the Naruto bridge. The strange thing was, he could tell he had been afraid but he couldn't feel it anymore. It was like all feelings were dulled, muted by a grey blanket thrown over his emotions that both warmed him and kept him pinned to the mattress. He could think of feelings but he couldn't really feel them anymore.
Briefly he wondered if this was how Sasuke had always felt.
The memories carried on, supplying him with brief moments along his life. Training with Ero-Sennin, how he'd learned Rasengan, how he had grown and trained and trained more to get better, to get Sasuke back to the village. How he had chased the other man, how his whole life had built on the urge to save the raven. The thought made him glance sideways at Sasuke, only to find him looking at the sea with unreadable eyes, lost in thought much like Naruto. He looked beautiful, so beautiful it was almost painful to look at, the flawless body replicated in the stone so carefully it looked like the raven could just step away from the cliff at any moment. He was so beautiful yet so distant, so far despite being so close, and that was how he had always been. Something Naruto had been pursuing but never quite reaching.
Right?
He couldn't tell anymore. Had he brought Sasuke back? The blonde remembered standing at the demolished base of Orochimaru, looking up at Sasuke and admitting the fact that he wasn't worthy of the life he had if he couldn't save his best friend. He remembered the moments ages later when he had again met Sasuke in the middle of the greatest war in the shinobi history, and he could remember meeting with him again later on. How much later, he couldn't tell, and the memories weren't coming to him either way. So he just sighed, looking down at the water rolling closer to him. He couldn't see his own feet but he saw the strip of sand down there where his toes should've been, and he followed a small crab as it hurried over the sand closer to the rocks to his right.
"Don't look so thoughtful, dobe, it doesn't suit you."
Naruto's smile just deepened as he closed his eyes.
"How much do you remember?" Naruto wasn't sure what year it was anymore. He hadn't counted in a long while. The summer had passed and so had autumn, with orange and red leaves quietly floating in the shore waters. Then had come the first snow, soft flakes fluttering down from the grey skies. The first ones had fallen on the equally grey ocean and melted away, but slowly they had started to gather up top of them. The first morning they had been there, Naruto hadn't been able to contain a laugh as he'd seen some snow on Sasuke's nose. It didn't feel cold, just a bit different. The icy winds came from the north, brushing over them but never breaking through the stony skin, never feeling cold to either of them. It was just different, just like the snow, not unpleasant or nice, just different. It was something new, something refreshing, and as they watched ice began to gather over the ocean. First it was just a paperthin layer, broken every day as the hard wind brought back the waves and all, but soon it grew stronger, covering the vast waters like a heavy carpet, and for a long while it was quiet.
The snow fell to the ground and the ice, painting the whole word in white and grays. All the sounds were gone like someone had muted the universe, only the fragile snowflakes dancing in the air and falling to the ground to gather up to form large banks. The wind created graceful dunes on what had used to be the wild, untamed ocean, and at times Naruto had woken up to the lonely howls of the wind on the cliffs. On those night he had remained silent but instead of watching the snow, he'd chosen to watch Sasuke. Then it had gotten even colder and the clear days full of sunshine came, knocking off the dark days from their way. The snow sparkled in all the colors of the rainbow like it was made of pearls and diamonds and the sky was beautiful bright blue, with just a few clouds drifting across it, and in the night the lights were on the sky as the stars took over, matching the snow.
And as always, winter turned to spring and the snow was gone. But it wasn't long until it came back, again and again, until Naruto stopped counting the times he'd seen the ocean slowly shake off the icy coat and return to its normal state, the birds and the fish and the crabs returning in a flash. It was no point counting after all, since why would you count eternity? They weren't going anywhere.
Yet now it was winter again, a cold winter morning with the stars still in the slowly lightening sky. It was quiet and serene, just like the winter mornings always were. Sasuke had his eyes closed when Naruto spoke and he remained like that for a little while as though truly asleep, but with a gentle breeze of icy wind blowing over the open area he opened his eyes and looked up at the sky, quietly watching the last stars disappear into the larger light.
"Not enough", was his answer, a hint of regret in his voice, and quietly he turned his eyes to Naruto, watching the blonde from his place on the cliffside, even his eyes unmoving.
Naruto blinked and returned the look, mulling over the answer. That hadn't been what he'd expected, not really, somehow he had thought Sasuke would've wanted to forget everything now that they were here, all the mistakes his family and he himself had made in the past, yet no.
"Do you remember... it? When Itachi..." Naruto's voice trailed off as he registered a flash of grief in the stony black eyes and he almost flinched out of old habit. It was still weird to see Sasuke showing any kind of emotion.
"I do", Sasuke agreed simply, glancing at the sky again before he locked gazes with the other man again, sighing softly. How he did that, or the talking, without actually moving his lips was still a mystery, but that was how it was here.
"I remember my childhood well, and my parents, and how they died too. And... I remember being alone for a long time."
Naruto felt something weird move inside him, his throat suddenly feeling restricted as he hoped he could just nod and let it slip by like that, but he couldn't, not anymore.
"Me too", he admitted with raspy voice, the familiar feeling of loneliness bubbling up inside him. It had been there for a long, long time, and it seemed that even here it didn't completely leave him. But now, he realized suddenly, he wouldn't have to be lonely anymore. He would never be alone, Sasuke would always be there, carved to the stone next to him, and it was something Naruto was going to cherish.
"Chasing after you made me less lonely", he admitted quietly, his eyes smiling softly at Sasuke.
Again, Sasuke was quiet for a while, just watching Naruto, his eyes again unreadable. When he finally spoke, his voice sounded a little odd, almost like he quite hadn't been there.
"Me too."
After that the comfortable silence fell again between them, just the wind crying in the distance.
"Did you come back, Sasuke?"
Sasuke didn't take his time with this one.
"I don't know."
Giving him a critical eye, Naruto sighed, closing his eyes for a moment as though that might help him to drag back the memories that were escaping him. He didn't have much hope in that though. They had been here a long long time, years and years and years, and he was starting to feel some memories weren't meant to be remembered. At first he had thought it was a protection mechanism, to make it more bearable , but it couldn't be that way since Sasuke still remembered his parents and their massacre. Some memories just weren't meant to come back, giving them the chance to write their own history how they wanted to.
"I think you did, in the end."
"Huh?" Sasuke had turned to look at Naruto again, a little bit of curiosity in his dark eyes. They had learned a long ago that Sasuke's memories were much more intact than Naruto's, and every time there was something Naruto remembered but the raven didn't he couldn't help but to wonder why.
"Yeah. I mean, I was so persistent, there's no way you could've avoided me... Unless you died, but we didn't die at sixteen or seventeen..." Naruto's voice slowly faded as he fell into another memory, letting it come back like a wave of warm water flooding over him and pulling him into the sea. Sometimes he wished that could happen for real.
It was his twentieth birthday, judging from the number-shaped candle on the top of the cake in front of him. There were lots of people around him, but he couldn't help but to feel that someone was missing. He couldn't see faces, just shapes of his friends and some other things, like Akamaru sitting on the floor next to legs that probably belonged to Kiba. Naruto was getting ready to blow the candle, his eyes squeezing shut as he leaned closer and sucked in a deep breath, but he was stopped by a knock on the door and someone stepping into the room,
"Am I late?" He didn't recognize the voice now, it didn't sound like anything he'd heard before, but it made his heart jump as he vaguely recalled the overwhelming happiness he'd felt at that moment.
Yes, they hadn't died during the war. And after the war, what reason would Sasuke have had to continue his lonesome life in search for power or whatever he had been doing. He could've only died or returned to Konoha, and he hadn't died since Naruto still had a couple of memories of being with the raven in the village. They were so short they didn't necessarily mean Sasuke had come back, but at least he'd been alive.
"Maybe so", the raven agreed softly, watching the gentle waves with a concentrated look in his eyes.
"I remember nothing after the war."
"Huh? Nothing?" This was definitely news to Naruto. Thinking that he was frowning, the blonde turned to look at the horizon as well, letting the information sink in. Sasuke's memories were pretty much complete and they ended at the war, then? That sounded like death to the blonde, but it couldn't be... He knew Sasuke hadn't died. That body carved to the stone next to him was not the body of a teenager.
"Yeah." Sasuke's voice was soft and distant, as though he was looking at the other direction, not really wanting to face the truth just yet.
Naruto was silent as well, trying to think. He bothered his memory, trying to call forth memories of the raven from the years after the war. Truth to be told, he didn't even know whether they were years or months or just weeks, but either way nothing came to him. Just flashes of the past, of himself walking down the streets of Konoha and looking up to the Hokage faces on the mountain and wondering how it would feel to be carved to stone like that, to watch over your village for countless years. Now he knew, but it didn't provide him any relief. He could recall long conversations in dimly lit restaurants, hiking in the woods for some obscure mission with his team, relaxing in an onsen with friends, but he couldn't force their faces to appear. Sometimes he got them, he managed to tell who exactly he had been talking to, but most of the times the faces were just blur. He couldn't tell whether or not Sasuke had been there because he didn't know. He had no idea what had happened to the raven after the war.
"Why did you leave?" Leave the village? Leave me? Naruto wasn't sure which question he was asking, but it was all the same in his mind.
"I had to", was Sasuke's answer, simple and short, as though he imagined it would explain everything.
But it didn't.
"Why?"
Sasuke's sigh was light and heavy at the same time, accompanied by a soft breeze of wind that carried over the ocean, sending the water to small ripples and bringing along the scent of blooming flowers from the land.
"The village couldn't give me what I wanted, so I had to go." He fell silent for a moment, the sound of his breathing a bit heavier now, audible between the waves rising to the shore and pulling back. When he spoke again, his voice was softer yet more unapproachable, detached.
"I needed... I craved justice, I needed to proof that I was capable of fulfilling the task I had been given, I had to, just once, be better than Itachi. Foolish thinking, wasn't it? Because I was never better than him, even after... he died."
It was easy for Naruto to keep quiet now, the lack of bitterness in Sasuke's voice keeping him on his toes. He could only hear echoes of sadness and longing, the emotions that stuck to you the most here, the knowledge that there had been things you could have done differently and that it would've been better that way. Sasuke wasn't the only one feeling like that.
"I used to think I should have been able to stop you from going, that it was my fault that you left", he confessed quietly, looking at the ocean instead of Sasuke. The feelings weren't painful anymore, just memories of old aches that had never really left after the fight at the valley of the end.
"If I had noticed earlier, I could have trained just a bit harder and maybe I would've come out as the winner from that battle. Then you wouldn't have left."
"No", Sasuke countered.
"I would've trained just as hard to match you. And even if you had won, I would have left, eventually. One way or another."
Naruto didn't have to nod, he didn't have to acknowledge the words in any way. He had known that already, for a long time, he had known no matter what he tried he could have never stopped Sasuke from leaving. It was something the raven had been meant to do and it was impossible to stop the flow of time taking what it had chosen to take. At that time, Sasuke hadn't left because he'd wanted to, he'd left because he'd had no other choice.
"Yet in a way, it was partly your fault."
Naruto blinked, surprised. He hadn't expected the raven to continue on that topic anymore after the sun had fallen behind the ocean again.
"Huh?"
"I couldn't afford to have my focus shifting from what I had to do."
And they left it at that.
"Do you ever think of going back?" As always, it was Naruto striking up the conversation, his voice breaking the calm that was laid over the nightly winter ocean.
"Not really", Sasuke answered, fast enough to prove that he hadn't been asleep. Still, his voice sounded somehow rough, older, worn out in a way.
"Never?" Naruto wasn't exactly surprised about that, he had known Sasuke didn't bother with such, but still...
"I didn't say never, I said 'not really'."
"Uh-huh."
"Why?"
Naruto would've shrugged if he could have moved, but as it was now, it was impossible.
"Just wondering", he murmured, releasing a long sigh afterwards.
"I just can't help thinking... If I was given a chance, would I go back or not. Like... I don't know, really."
Sasuke's silence was heavy, speaking volumes of what he thought of that. He didn't have to say anything, but he was clearly listening, hsi eyes diverted to Naruto's direction while not exactly watching him. He was just listening, waiting for Naruto to say more, to explain.
"It's not like I don't regret anything, but... I like it here. It's not really my place to go back anymore anyway, don't you think? We belong here now, both of us. Right?"
"For once, dobe, I think you might be right", Sasuke admitted, his voice filled with dry amusement as he acknowledged Naruto's words, falling silent again after that as though to think things over, to make sure he actually agreed with what had been said .
"Oh shut up, bastard... Well, anyway, I was thinking, it would be odd, after all this... I'd really want to be the Hokage though, but I don't think... I don't know." Naruto sighed, closing his eyes to let the memories flow back again.
Back then he'd been able to move, to feel, to taste, to live to make it simple. He had been happy, probably, not all the time but he could remember peaks of real happiness being there in the middle of the rough shinobi life, and he had truly loved Konoha and the people there. He hadn't made it to the Hokage yet and while it was a little bit painful to admit just like that, he had accepted it already. He had tried his best and who knew, maybe he would've made it if he'd been there just a little bit longer. But he hadn't, and instead of having the Hokage's title, he had something else he'd been chasing his whole life; he had Sasuke with him. He had been ready to give up his dream of being the Hokage if he wouldn't have been able to save Sasuke, and now he had the raven here with him. And for him, it was enough.
"If you wanted though, to go back, I think I'd go with you. I wouldn't want to be without you anymore." It was a very honest admission, something that made the spot where Naruto's stony heart was ache just a little when he got nothing in return. But he was used to it, knowing that with Sasuke, nothing came to you easily and even less was voiced. Looking back at Sasuke, all he saw was that slightly closed off look on the dark eyes, and eh turned away again, smiling softly. If Sasuke had disagreed, he would've shown it; closing off meant that he was hiding something. He always hid his emotions like that, and for that reason only Naruto dared to ask the question that had been bothering him for a while.
"Would you leave if I did? Or stay here alone?"
But Sasuke remained silent.
Naruto had the feeling he had slept a little bit longer than he'd planned to. The last time he'd had his eyes open it had been summer and now that he tried to look around it was... He had the feeling it should have been dark but instead his surroundings were almost glowing with white and silver as the moon cast light over the snow-covered ocean.
"Good morning." Somehow, Sasuke's voice really fit the darkness.
Naruto turned to look at the raven, blinking the sleep away from his eyes so he could observe his surroundings properly. It was winter, then, and he'd been dreaming for quite a while. It had been a good dream, something about their times in the academy and so on, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to get back from his dreamland quite yet. A sigh escaped his lips and he closed his eyes again, enjoying the cold wind caressing his cheeks.
"Did you ever think about me?" the blonde murmured, not really thinking about his words that much. It was no use getting embarrassed about anything here.
"I tried not to think about anything but Itachi", Sasuke answered immediately, his voice again a little detached.
"Yeah I know." And he did. Naruto had known to wait for that answer, it was exactly how he'd thought Sasuke would react to it, and really, id the raven had admitted wasting time on thinking about anything but Itachi and his goals while at Orochimaru's, he might have been a bit pissed at the other man.
"Thinking about you got me to train harder", Naruto continued, his voice soft and still a bit sleepy. It was nice, oh yeah, and for now he didn't really care about anything but being honest.
"I know", Sasuke mimicked him, sounding a bit less angry and uncomfortable and a lot more like he was just going to dismiss Naruto's chatting as sleep talk.
"Me too."
"It did?" Perhaps he shouldn't have been so surprised, but Naruto just couldn't help it. At times Sasuke admitted the oddest things and even now, after all this time, he couldn't help but to be a little bit surprised every time the raven started speaking about such things. Perhaps he'd never get used to it.
"I hadn't really understood that you were actually chasing after me like that before that one encounter after all those years, when you came after me with Sakura and that..." He still wasn't saying Sai's name, not often at least.
"I had to make sure I was better than you."
Time had passed, lots and lots of it. The years kept going by, winter turning to spring turning to summer. New birds appeared, new animals scuffing around in the beach, spots of green appearing every here and there. Everything was just as beautiful, just as serene as in the beginning, and it was something impossible to get bored with. Slowly they both were sinking into the same turn of seasons, becoming one with the nature around them and getting used to it. One spring a seagull made a nest on top of Sasuke's head, bringing Naruto laughter for years to come as he kept thinking back to the look in Sasuke's eyes as he had to listen to the screaming baby seagulls and wait for the rain to clean the poop from his nose where the birds kept popping it. They returned the following year, and the year after that, but then they were gone for a long, long time. Years later, something green started to grow on the side of Naruto's head, spreading over the top of his head before finally disappearing due to scorching sun a long while alter. The nature was slowly growing on them, just like it did on any other rock monument, and it was easy to get used to it. That was where they belonged, in the end.
The talking they did got scarce too, the need for words slowly growing less and less. They had said many things, had had time to talk about everything they wanted, everything they needed and wanted to know about each other and the lives they had led. It was like an old couple falling into a comfortable silence, most of the communication happening without words now. They didn't need it anymore, it was enough to just know that the other was there, that they weren't alone, wouldn't be alone.
It had started very slowly, so slowly neither of them had noticed it at first. It had been a gradual change, very quiet and almost gentle in its terribleness. It was like a tidal wave, slowly reaching deeper and deeper and to the ground while no-one noticed it was coming. But when it was there, nobody could deny it existed and it was too late to run anymore, if it had been possible at all.
Naruto hadn't noticed it coming either. He supposed it wasn't as bad on him as it was on Sasuke since the raven tended to be a lot more aware of his surroundings and he would've noticed it earlier and mentioned it. But now it was... It wasn't funny anymore. At first the blonde had laughed at it, laughed as the tip of Sasuke's nose had slowly crumbled and fallen away, making soft plopping noises as the tiny pieces fell to the still water. It had been funny, amusing, how the hundreds and hundreds of years had finally started to show on them, wear out the steady rock like a dull ax hacking on them over and over again. At first it had been just the nose and nothing more and they had joked about it, but slowly, as more years passed by, Sasuke started to turn more into himself. He grew more silent, more solemn, avoiding conversation whenever Naruto tried to strike one, and his eyes started changing too. They had never been lively, but slowly they were going almost back to the cold, unreadable look they had had when they had still been in Konoha. They had started changing like they only were slowly withering away with the pieces of stone crumbling off of the statue that was Sasuke.
And then the cracks began to show. At first they were small, unnoticeable, but soon, with years passing by, water gathered into them and froze, pushing the sculpture away from he rock slowly but inevitably. Naruto tried not to see it but he couldn't help it; it started to feel like every time he looked at Sasuke the cracks had grown, snaking down his cheek and to his neck before returning to the cliff again, like accentuating the line where the raven became one with the rock and where his face began. Sasuke never asked him about it and Naruto never volunteered to point it out but they both knew it was there, growing and changing and becoming more prominent by every year. It was like a storm cloud, slowly growing and changing shape but never becoming less threatening or letting you forget it was there.
A storm it should have been, or so Naruto at least felt. Instead it was a beautiful sunny day in the end of a spring. The air was full of the smell of growing, plants and fresh water and the sounds of animals all around. It wasn't even night and so everything was totally wrong, so wrong Naruto couldn't understand how it could even happen. Sasuke had been quiet, so oddly quiet for a long long time, and so he was surprised to hear a small sound from the raven's side of the cliff. It was something that Naruto would remember forever and ever, that little crack and the small surprised sound that followed it when the rock kept cracking, first quiet and then louder.
"Naruto..."
That was the last word Naruto ever heard from the raven. It was quiet for a second or two that suddenly felt long as centuries to him, and then the last crack came, the beautifully sculpted rock that had been Sasuke's face crumbling off the cliff and falling, falling down and down again, breaking into pieces and splashing to the water on the shore. The fine lips broke into pieces and scattered on the water, sinking to the bottom, along with what had been left of Sasuke's nose. The high cheekbones fell off and so did the hair that had framed his face like a painting and the frames, and the last thing, it felt, were his eyes. They tore off the mother rock, not even one crack in the dark depths as they sank to the sand underneath the layer of water, casting one more look at Naruto before the wave took them away, pulling them to the open sea.
Then it was quiet again, but only for a moment. The birds kept singing, the rush of the waves against the rock was still there and a gentle breeze of wind blew over the shore, none of them caring about Sasuke.
The raven was gone. Naruto didn't have to ask to know it, he just knew it with the certainty of a man who'd just seen another one pierced with a sword. It didn't stop him from trying though.
"Sasuke?" he tried, his voice soft and careful as though he was trying not to bother whatever might be left of the man.
But no answer came. The day turned into a night as Naruto watched the delicately sculptured figure of a man by the cliff, a man with a beautiful posture but no face, a man that Naruto had thought would stay there with him the whole eternity. But he hadn't. Slowly Naruto blinked, turning his face away from the crumbled statue. It was wrong, so wrong, and he was alone again.
"Sasuke...", he repeated, his voice shaking with the tears he wouldn't let out, and probably couldn't either.
"Sasuke!" It was a lonesome cry that echoed in the cliffs for a moment before dying out, only to be followed by a louder yell of the same name, desperation and loneliness taking over the man left behind as he closed his eyes.
"Naruto?"
The blonde blinked, the light appearing strange to him. It didn't look like the soft sunlight he was used to. It was not the same, everything was different, the air, the sounds, everything. So strange, so wrong, so... so human. Gasping, Naruto opened his eyes, seeing something white and flat in front of him. That was not the cliff nor the sea nor the sky. That was something a human had made, something unnatural, something... off. Something warm.
A touch.
A simple touch on his arm and Naruto bolted upright, startling the lady who'd been leaning over him, watching him, talking to him.
"Naruto? Are you alright?"
Her voice sounded like it was coming somewhere far away, a place that didn't exist, and Naruto couldn't bother remembering who it belonged to. It was unnecessary, not needed in his world where only Sasuke existed, Sasuke and him and the sea and the sky and the wind. World that shouldn't be where this one was.
"Sasuke!" His voice sounded off, raspy and croaky like there was something wrong with his throat and he coughed, shaking his head as he tried to look around. He had the feeling he should know this place, this room, with beds and weird equipmenta nd most importantly people. But the one person he was looking for was not there. Sasuke should've been, right? Because he was there, then why wouldn't Sasuke be? That was wrong, he had to be there, had to be here, to be alive with him, he just had to...
"Naruto", the woman started softly, again laying her hand on Naruto's arm.
But he shook it away, pushing himself up and falling over as his legs gave in, sending him stumbling to the floor on all fours. That was when he noticed it, the other bed a bit away from his, with a figure lying on it and a young nurse sitting next to it, looking at him with a startled expression.
"Sasuke!" he choked out, crawling towards the bed with something stinging in his eyes. Someone tried to stop him but he shook them away, pushing himself up to his knees and then finally standing up as he reached to support himself with the edge of Sasuke's bed. There he collapsed again, grabbing the raven's hand and pressing it against his cheek as he stared down at the pale face.
"C'mon, bastard", Naruto murmured, leaning closer until he could hear the faint breathing. But there was nothing else, just the breathing and how it ghosted against the blonde's cheek as he leaned even closer, finally pressing his forehead against Sasuke's despite the odd angle it put him into.
"Why aren't you up already, you left before me..." He didn't dare to close his eyes, not now that he had Sasuke right in front of him again, his face and everything else, even his toes, Sasuke was right there and he was real and alive and this was their second chance, the one he'd silently asked for yet Sasuke wasn't there yet to see it with him.
"Hurry up, Sasuke..." The tears bubbled up slowly, threatening to spill, and the same warm hand appeared again, this time on his shoulder.
"He hasn't shown any signs of waking up. I'm sorry, Naruto."
And the tears fell down to the pale cheeks from the blue eyes begging for the other man to wake up to him.
It had been genjutsu. They had been caught in the middle of a fight, trapped into one of the strongest genjutsu Tsunade had ever seen. It had taken an entire week for Naruto to snap out of it, and it felt wrong. It felt so totally wrong that while he had been there, seen the years pass by and been content with it, lived his life again and again in memories and accepted that it was over, yet now he was pulled back here. He felt like an old soul that had been thrust into a body too young for it, like someone had yanked him back from his deathbed to the womb of his mother and he was forced to live alone. When he walked down the streets he'd see people he had known his entire life, see their faces and their smiles and how they had not changed, how they couldn't see how he himself had changed. They had barely lived for a week, while Naruto had been there, by that ocean, for centuries. His life was the same as it had been, he still had his apartment and his friends were there and it was all the same, yet nothing was the same anymore, would never be the same.
Because Sasuke wasn't there.
It felt empty and useless. There was no meaning for him anymore, not after spending all that time with Sasuke alone. He didn't want to be there anymore yet he was and it was wrong, like a curse. And so he spent all his awake hours by Sasuke's bed, holding his hand and murmuring senseless things into his ear, waiting and hoping and praying that the raven would open his eyes and come back to him, to help him get through this additional life.
Naruto knew it wouldn't happen though. He had seen Sasuke's face crumble and fall off, he'd seen the light die in his eyes and how he had just been gone and how he'd never come back. Never. No matter what the nurses did, no matter what Tsunade himself tried, Sasuke wasn't coming back. It was so quiet in his room in the hospital, so quiet it almost hurt your ears and when it became to much all Naruto could do was pressing his ear to the raven's chest and listening to his slow and steady heartbeat. Sasuke was still there, somewhere, but he was so far away, in a place where Naruto couldn't follow him to. It was different to him leaving the village years ago, back then Naruto had known he was still out there, somewhere he could go to and find the raven, but now... no-one knew where Sasuke was or how to get there, and the blonde was sure it would remain that way.
And Naruto was so old, so tired. And so lonely. He'd opened his heart and soul to Sasuke and now the raven was gone, taking pieces of him along and not being there to complete him like he should have.
Gripping Sasuke's hand so hard it would've hurt if the raven had been there to feel it, Naruto pressed his forehead to Sasuke's chest and let the angry, frustrated tears flow, dripping down to the thin hospital shirt the other man wore. His chest shook in angry sobs and he gritted his teeth, refusing to make a sound that would alert a nurse and make it just that much more awkward. It was so wrong, so cruel. Why wasn't Sasuke here for their second chance together?
The air in the room felt stable, very still, like the time itself had stopped as Naruto remained where he was, feeling like a statue again with his frame unmoving, just the tears pouring out like a heavy autumn rain. He couldn't understand it, he just didn't, how could they be so cruel? After all they had been through with Sasuke, the raven was leaving him like this?
"Dammit, teme..." he whispered, his voice surprisingly steady as he closed his eyes and let the gentle rise and fall of Sasuke's chest lull him into numbness.
"...raining?"
Naruto blinked, opening his eyes that now felt puffy and sore. The room was still quiet, just as quiet as it had been, except the sound of Sasuke's breathing had changed. He couldn't exactly say how, but it was different, perhaps a bit faster, shallower? He didn't know, but after listening to it for as long as he had, he could easily tell when there was a change. The hard chest that served as his pillow now shook a little with long inhale, and then it was there again, the sound that had shaken Naruto awake.
"Naruto?"
It was Sasuke's voice. Low, sleepy, raspy, but Sasuke's either way. Naruto would recognize it anywhere, and now it was right there, next to his ear, the raven's dry lips puffing air to his cheek, to his ear. Taking a deep breath and wishing that he wasn't dreaming, the blonde slowly blinked again and then raised his head, rubbing his eyes with his free hand as he squeezed Sasuke's pale palm with the other, turning to look at the other's face, refusing to give in to the hope. He had dreamed about this many many times after waking up, dreamed of Sasuke opening his eyes and being there for him again, and then he'd woken up to the cold hard reality, only to find the raven still trapped in that malicious jutsu.
Now, again, just like he'd dreamed before, the dark eyes were partially open, staring at nothing on the ceiling and not really focusing on anything as the pale lips parted slowly, a pink tongue darting out to moisten them before they pressed back together and Sasuke exhaled slowly through his nose, his body tensing and relaxing visibly as Naruto watched him, tears brimming in his eyes again.
"Hello, Sasuke", he whispered, the words getting caught in his throat and coming out as strangled and jumbled mess but recognizable anyway. He didn't know what to do, other than staring at the raven's face as it was slowly starting to move and come to life. Sasuke looked like he was waking up from a long, painful dream, his face twisting and his forehead getting all wrinkled up. Slowly Naruto reached out, rubbing the milky skin to soothe the wrinkles, and the dark eyes slowly peeled open again, this time looking somewhere next to Naruto's head before slowly focusing on the face close to his own, searching for the blue eyes.
"You're... moving", the raven whispered, his voice pained and full of something Naruto couldn't quite name.
"We're alive." the dark eyes fell shut again and Sasuke let his head turn, his cheek pressing to the pillow as his entire body shook with the sigh he released.
Naruto couldn't say anything, his lips trembling as he closed his eyes too and then, slowly like he was afraid he might hurt Sasuke, he let go of the pale hand and slid it over to the other man's cheek, cupping it and turning his head up again so he could press his forehead on Sasuke's. He stayed there for a long time, listening to Sasuke's breathing and the way it hitched and shook at times as though the raven was trying to bite back tears. That probably wasn't too far form the truth, actually, Naruto knew exactly how he felt. Coming back to this world was not a blessing at all.
"Why?" Sasuke whispered finally, his voice almost inaudible and his breath ghosting against Naruto's lips.
"Why do we have to be back?" His voice was pained, a voice of a man who had been tortured and then finally allowed to die, only to be brought back to endure more agony.
Naruto tried to speak, his mouth opening but not words coming out, and he closed it again, taking a steadying breath.
"It was a jutsu, Sasuke. A genjutsu that they just couldn't break fast enough", he explained, trying to stable his voice so it wouldn't shake so much. He should stay strong now, for Sasuke's sake.
Sasuke just nodded, his eyes still closed as though he could keep the reality away from him but not looking at what was the truth. The longer he remained like that, the longer he could pretend he was still in that blissful darkness that had been interrupted by nothing, nothing at all, except one voice that had called for him and yanked him out of the utter bliss and forced him back to this world. Naruto's voice.
"I don't want to be here anymore", he whispered, his eyes immediately meeting the deep blue ones as he finally opened them, knowing full well that things didn't get better if you avoided them, you just made it harder for yourself.
"I know", Naruto agreed, his voice just as low and hushed as Sasuke's as he gazed down at the inky eyes, trying to read them like he had done so many times by that ocean. But this time, he was seeing nothing but darkness.
They were quiet for a long time, the sun moving on the sky and painting the shadows longer until the licked the walls like they always did in the evening. It was nothing like the flaming sunsets by the ocean when the sky had burst in flames for just a little while and then gone black again, just a dull, muted version that was nothing but a painful reminder of what had been but would never be again.
"Can we just go?"
Naruto smiled sadly, stroking Sasuke's cheek with his thumb as he thought about it, his insides glowing warmth as he understood that for Sasuke it was 'we' too, not you and me anymore.
"Yes", he answered finally, his voice low and a little uncertain, his lips almost touching Sasuke's as he spoke.
"We can, I think, if we want." And it was the truth. They could go and disappear from this world, just go and be like they had before and then go forever, let go of their lives and end this journey fast and simple, just like Naruto had thought they already had.
"But I'd much rather be here with you just a little longer."
Sasuke sighed, blinking and letting it settle in. No-one could stop them if they chose to die, to let their tired souls finally rest, but what Naruto had said...
"You would?" he asked, knowing that it was a useless question. He knew the answer and in a way, he knew what his response would be.
"Yeah", Naruto breathed out, his nose gently rubbing against Sasuke's.
"I would. Our chance."
It was their second chance, exactly like they'd spoken before. A chance that wasn't supposed to come but was there anyway, and this time they would have to decide what to do with it. Naruto knew, he had known by that ocean already what he'd chosen in his heart, but he didn't know what Sasuke would choose. Because if Sasuke chose to let go, Naruto would go with him and disappear from this world alongside him. Staying behind alone would be too hard.
Sasuke blinked again, still looking up at Naruto's eyes that were now almost rippling with emotion, with fearful hope and other things that couldn't really be named. They were deep, so deep, just like the ocean from before, and for a moment Sasuke had to close his eyes to keep himself from sinking. When he opened them, however, he noticed what it was, the thing that he hadn't realized before, the thing that finally brought him to his decision, a wave of calm flowing over him.
Naruto's eyes had changed color. They were still that deep blue, that same sparkling azure that had captivated s many people along the years, but when you looked deep enough, somewhere below that layer of blue was a wave of the green of the ocean, the same depth he'd been watching for so, so long.
A small smile graced Sasuke's face as he stared into those eyes, knowing that he didn't have a choice anymore. He would always choose the ocean.
"Let's take it."
The End