The memories always came back right when he felt lost.
Running his fingers through tangled hair, huffing out a sigh. It was right about then when he started to remember her smile.
She had a brilliant smile. Even when he had completely given up hope, just one of her smiles pumped him up. Her smiles were like electric shocks running through his body.
Missing those smiles were something he did often.
Life was just a endless cycle to him. Everyday was a reminder that he had missed out on something so deliciously wonderful as her.
That he hadn't been man enough to go after her.
With hands balled into fists, he slammed them against his bedroom door, with more force than necessary. Hot anger churned inside of him. He felt the need to throw up.
He missed her.
The way she teased him, the way she laughed, the way she had her own style and didn't care what anyone thought of her...
Why couldn't she have looked passed his stupidness?
Clutching his stomach, he bent over, emptying the contents onto the floor. Sweat dripped off his face. He found the strength to stand, leaning against the doorframe.
Weak.
Maybe if he had been less of a wimp, she could've been his. More than ever, he just wanted to tell her...
Tell her what?
"That no guy should deserve her..." He muttered bitterly to himself. "No matter what. She's just too perfect. They'd only hurt her."
Telling himself that didn't change a thing though. He'd heard that she had turned into quite the heartbreaker.
She probably had forgotten about him by now.
But could he really blame her? He was a nobody. At least, to her he was.
His breath became short at that thought. Because as much as he didn't want to admit it, he still wanted her to like him. And as greedy as it was, he still wished that she hadn't become so powerful.
He wished that she was still here.
With him.
The back of his head slammed against the door. The stomach pains returned.
What bothered him most was that she wouldn't leave him alone.
He'd tried pills, only to feel worse than before. Talking to someone would only make him feel a million times more loser-ish. He couldn't even feel happy anymore.
Now he only felt numb. Pure and utter numbness.
He'd gotten over things before. Why couldn't he get over her?
"Because," he whispered. "I'm lost."