Alucard is Already Naked: Part Three, The Trilogy

I got back from running the cash register at the Save n Steal, my mind is in a foggy cloud as I have spent all day trying not to think about the world around me. People are jerks, I hate customers so much, and I hate my monotonous job. My apartment is tiny and dirty, but I can't even tell you how happy I am to be back there.

I went through my door, not paying attention to the grungy chaos of my living room. I went over to where my couch normally sits and flopped on the sagging cushions before I realized that my apartment was completely dark. I couldn't see anything, and it was an ominous dark that felt heavy like tar against my skin. It chilled me and stuck to my heart, making me feel so cold.

I heard an evil laugh, and then I saw two white gloves above me. They were as big as me, they were huge and curled wickedly. They were coming at my face, and then they picked me up. The gloves held me in midair, in front of a big, toothy face. They pulled my shirt over my head and pulled my pants down to my ankles, and the huge laughing face took a bite out of me.

"Muahaha," I heard.

"Hey quit that," I said. I slapped the air behind me, and there Alucard was behind the couch I was sitting on. He was grinning insanely as usual, holding my shirt.

He was naked already, crouched down behind my couch, with his dong hanging down to the floor like a punching bag. I jumped on him, and we had sex on the floor, and then on the couch.

Afterwards, we were lying on the couch, just chilling. I was on top of his flat chest, and I was licking his hair, because it's just so gorgeous. He was just pawing my back lazily, looking peaceful.

"You've gotten so tame," I commented. "Look at you, you might as well be purring."

"You're like a sedative. I've already had too much of you, the overdose is killing me, but I'm enjoying it," Alucard said. He ran his claws along my back, drawing white scratches that ran in parallel lines across my skin.

I love how happy he gets when he comes inside me, but from the very beginning I wanted something more. Of course this is what I expected from him, being who he is, he is distant, far out, crazy and callous. It is a long trek to get to his heart, I was thinking. Maybe like one of those treks that goes through the stars, you know, in outer space where no man has gone before. His chest is full of dark space, I am sure of that. He's made of solid dark matter, something hard and unexplainable.

Not to mention the fact that he would be very happy if I was dead, so he could be free. Sex alone won't make him really mine. His red eyes provide me no warmth, they are mysterious like the center of a dying star.

I laid down on top of him with my face under his jaw, and chilled out against his thin neck skin. I held his body, which is thin with lean, hard muscles. He holds me tightly like a tiger; I am a tube of toothpaste that he squeezes to get more of the high he craves. I still want him to kiss me, but he does not. He never kisses me unless I press my wet mouth to his, and stick I my tongue into his mouth, like a bird feeding delicious, heated heroin to it's young. He takes my face in his hands and sucks on my mouth, enjoying the hot butter feeling of my lips.

I was picking at a mole on my stomach, it is dark brown and sticks out in the most annoying way. I pull at it absently all the time, but it hurts too much to pick it out.

Just then, Alucard took his clawed fingers and pulled the thing out of me, leaving a gouged red circle in the freckled plane of my stomach.

"Ouch!" I said. He licked my stomach, red drops of my blood on his tongue, his hair brushing against my belly, and his tongue felt so adorable.

I was in my apartment with a few of my friends, we were all playing this game called "Drink the Beer." My apartment is crammed even with just a few people, and we were feeling a little pent-up and bored.

"Hey, where's your boyfriend?" One of my friends slurred.

"He's out," I said. I wasn't making him follow me everywhere anymore, in the beginning I'd always have him sitting under me or next to me in case I wanted to squeeze his butt. I was nicer now, I admit, he can go out if he wants.

"Well get him here I wanna see him!"

"Yeah, I haven't seen him yet, lemme see, I heard he's hot," one of my co-workers was saying.

"Alrite, fine," I said, it was no big deal to me. "Alucard c'mere."

So he appeared in my living room immediately, he showed up quick as a bubble popping. He appeared with his guns pointed in front of him and he shot a bunch of holes through my wall. He must have been shooting at something, wherever he was.

"What? I'm here?" he said, surprised. He was wearing his red jacket and hat, and the sunglasses. He looked around at the chicks in my apartment and laughed madly at their terrified faces.

"Ha ha ha!" he said.

"Hey, put those guns away," I said. He turned to me with his crazy smirk.

"Yeah, let's see the real weapon, ow ow!" my drunk friend said. He looked at the drunk chick, his face a crooked smile. He grinned, and stripped for my friends while they whooped it up. I bet he likes to be sexy, just a change from the killbot he usually is.

"Things are going pretty well," I said to myself. "And this will make things even better."

My skin is pale and freckled, not something I'm too proud of. I was standing in front of my mirror, naked, inspecting myself. I'm pale and out of shape, I've got no muscles to speak of. I'm a lazy person, through and through. As I inspect my pale skin I also am peeling off sheets of it, because my skin has been burned badly, intentionally, by an herbal remedy.

I am rubbing my herbal remedy on myself as I stand naked in my room. It is a concoction that I made for a special purpose, it is wet and waxy like petroleum jelly, with some irritating spiky things in it, specifically tree bark and leaves.

As I run the salve over my body my skin turns red in finger-sized streaks, and it hurts like acid. It stings like lemon juice in your eye; it's like sand being rubbed into a burn. It's just like a sunburn, and it is causing my fragile skin to peel off in thin, gossamer sheets. It is waxy and uncomfortably wet; it is a salve that I made myself out of herbs and some unholy ingredients.

"Hey, come here," I said. He was bored of course, shooting at pigeons in the trees, but he stopped and came over. I was standing there, naked and covered in the salve I made. "I have been rubbing this on myself for the past month, and now I think it is finally ready. I hope so, anyway, or I'm in trouble. Guess what? This is anti-zombie, this will make it okay for you to use your teeth."

"Is it?" He asked, curious. "Yeah, it smells dark and interesting. I suppose it would work."

"Oh yeah, I'm sure it will," I said, and I walked over to him. I put my face close to his, so close he could feel my breath. He just grinned at me.
"You would like that, wouldn't you," he said, laughing. "Well, I don't want any of that curdled, salty, sludge in your veins."

"What? Are you kidding?" I asked. I couldn't believe I had peeled my own skin off for nothing. "Fine then, be that way," I said, disappointed.

I came home with a few guys, just some dorks I met at a bar. They weren't bad looking, and I was dragging both of them by their belt loops to my bedroom. They were drunk, and they were blabbering about some shit. I hate normal guys.

"Hey babe, come here," I said. Alucard was already there, watching what I was doing. He was just grinning, his face is rarely serious. "I don't need sex from you anymore," I said, kissing the guy's face right in front of him. "Peace out," I said.

"Fine, I'm going out then" he said, and he left. I guess he went to go suck some blood, since he wasn't having mine.

He came back in a couple days. I heard some paws on my kitchen floor, and he approached me as a dog. I reached out my hand to pet his head but he bared his teeth at me. He looked so fuzzy, if only he'd let me pet him.

That night, again I brought home other men. This time, three of them. I was pretty excited for it, there were so many dicks! I told Alucard to come into the room, and I told him to watch me screw all three of them.

"How's this make you feel?" I asked him. I was fucking one of the guys, his dick was in me while the other two waited their turns. I humped the guy without really thinking about it. I was looking at Alucard and waiting for his response.

"How long is this going to take?" he asked, and he sat down on the floor. I snarled a little in anger, my face a gloomy frown. I picked up a lamp and threw it at him, and it smashed against his rock hard skull. He laughed, brushing the shattered ceramic out of his dark hair.

"I'll be done when I feel like it!" I said, moving on top of the guy while he barely did a thing. The drunk guy from the bar was no good, his dick was small and he didn't know the first thing about the map of a woman's vagina. I jumped on the other guys, I had a mad orgy, and it was fun but so empty. It would have been better if I had screwed three vibrators for all those guys knew about sex. Alucard watched because I made him, with a bored expression on his face.

Afterwards, I left the three guys in bed and I walked naked over to where Alucard was. He was shaped like a dog, and his head was resting on his paws. His six red eyes were half-closed like he didn't care, but that is all I could tell. It is hard to read the emotions on the face of a dog, so really I didn't know what he was thinking.

I knelt down next to him and tried to pet him, but he snapped his sharp jaws at me. He growled and walked away, his toenails clicking on the hard floor.

I came home from my job the next night, and was greeted at the door by a naked man, but it wasn't Alucard. He was huge, massively fat, with giant rolls that extended past he voluptuous bosoms. His eyes bulged out of his head as if pushed out by the mounds of fat hanging off of him. His dick was nowhere in sight, but the crack of his ass was an uncrossable chasm.

"Hey, this creepy guy told me to wait here and a fat whore would give me a hand job, are you her?" the fat man asked.

"Get the hell out!" I said, pushing him out the door, naked. I went up to my room and there was a big skinned pig on my bed. The window was broken, like he must have just tossed it right through as an afterthought. Basically, he was saying I am fat. Now, my whole room smells like nasty bacon, I'm going to have to throw that mattress out. I'm sure he's laughing about it somewhere, I wish I was there so I could hear it.

After a while, he came back, like a stray dog coming back for food. There would be none for him. It's been about three weeks since the last time we had sex.

"As a matter of fact, dear," I began, "I am over you. That's right, I don't want your boner any more, I'm sick of your dick. You should just take it elsewhere, I told you I don't need you to screw me anymore."

Alucard didn't say anything, he just looked at me with those dark red eyes, like pools of blood. He approached me, this sexy dead man, a crazy Nosferatu, this guy I want so badly and who wants me just because of a wicked spell.

He came over to me and kissed me, I couldn't believe he actually did. I stuck my tongue in his mouth, and here's what he did: he put his own tongue under mine, and slid it against his tooth, causing a long red scratch. He sank one of his long teeth through my tongue, giving me a tongue piercing.

I hadn't put the ointment on my tongue, obviously. That would have tasted awful.

The change happened incredibly quickly. My mind disappeared, it faded away as if my brain was being blown out through my ear. My brain was gone, it had been sucked out with a straw. I felt like my face was melting, because it was turning into the horrible grimace of a ghoul. The color drained from my face, and I started to feel hungry for brains. All I wanted to do was scoop the brains out of human heads.

"Sorry, master," Alucard said, and he wasted me with his guns, spraying bits of me over the walls of my apartment.

I'm just kidding, ha ha ha. I don't want to be a zombie, he wishes that would work so he'd have a chance to shoot at me. But I wondered what would happen, now that he pierced my tongue with the wicked blade of his tooth.

I also eat certain herbs, things that will protect me from mysterious evils. I eat about twenty-five different herbs every morning, like a big salad or sometimes in tea.

I was okay, but I was feeling kind of weird. He told me to come with him, and I did. He walked around the back of my house, where there is a broken old truck.

"Get in," he said. Sure, it sounded like a good idea. He opened the door, and I grabbed on to the top of the truck and hoisted myself in. He came in after me, and shut the door behind us.

We both sat in the truck for a moment, sitting in silence. He was next to me, he was breathing heavily and just looking at me crookedly, his eyes were sultry and as always a sweet, deep red.

"How you been, babe, I feel like I haven't talked to you in a while," I said.

"I'm just fine," he said. "Why don't you get comfortable."

"Oh, alright," I said. I was feeling really relaxed, as I was sinking into the plastic vinyl seat of the flatbed truck.

"You've been a mean girl lately," he said. "Why don't you give yourself a taste. Slap yourself in the face."

"All right then, I will do that," I said. I slapped myself hard in the face, with a loud cracking sound.

"Keep going," he said. I slapped myself back and forth, until I started to wonder why the hell I was doing this.

"Alright, why don't you get naked. Thats right, it's your turn," he said. I started undressing, glad it was about 3 o'clock in the morning so no one would see us.

"If anyone sees us shoot them," I said.

"Sure," he said.

"Why am I doing what you say?" I asked him. He was laughing.

"Get underneath me," he said. I slid my naked body along the fabric of his clothes as I got under his body. He got naked too, and we had sex in the truck.

Afterwards, he asked me if there was anything I wanted him to do. He looked at me sideways with a little smile, the sharp spikes that were his teeth poking out from his red lips.

"Yeah, there's one thing I want you to do," I said. I told him what it was, and he laughed about that.

He turned into a dog, and put his paws in my lap. I rubbed his soft fur and held his dog head to my chest. He was really soft, it was great. I'd wanted to pet him for a while now, I just love dogs and he is adorable. As a dog, he informed me that he was able to bend my will because he had stuck his tooth through my body. That was a source of power, any time he did that I would lose some of my will. I didn't want to lose my will, I don't want anyone to control me. Unless, maybe, if it were this sexy man.

The next day I got a tongue ring, a shiny metal barbell, and stuck it through the hole. I just love playing with it.

The End