All Play and No Work

It happened in a flash. A moment so fast that not even Ziva's so-called "ninja skills" could save her.

Tony DiNozzo quickly stumbled backwards in a very uncharacteristic movement. Ziva, who was much less graceful than usual, lay on the floor, completely frozen. Her mouth was formed in a comical "o" shape, and her eyes wide. She was mentally slapping herself for getting so easily distracted, while Tony just stayed silent for a moment.

'What's going on?' Gibbs demanded, walking towards the pair. Ziva instantly brought herself back to reality and jumped up. Tony reacted, too, and quickly picked up the bottle of water that was still spilling its contents everywhere, though only half full as the rest of it was dripping from Ziva's shirt. It didn't take him long before he realised Zee-vah's light shirt had gone see-through, revealing a lacy red bra.

'Damn, Zee-vah,' Tony whistled, crossing his arms. 'That bra does not match your cargo pants at all.' Ziva's eyes widened and she looked down at her chest, realising the problem.

'I wasn't even aware there was anything beneath those baggy shirts of yours,' Tony said, staring unashamedly at her chest. She crossed her arms, but uncrossed them she saw the reaction it caused from Tony. 'Don't worry about being self-conscious, there's no need.' He winked suggestively at her and she glared.

'You ruined my shirt,' she snapped unhappily.

'It was just water, Zee-vah, nothing important,' he said, waving it away with his hand. His eyes crept back down to her exposed body and she actually blushed.

'Okay, that's quite enough, you two,' Gibbs said, making sure that his eyes stayed firmly on Tony. Even when he addressed Ziva next, he made sure not to look below her chin. 'Zee-vah, why don't you go clean up in the ladies room?'

'I can help, if you want,' Tony said, again with a suggestive tone.

'Unless you have a shirt I can borrow, I do not need your help,' she angrily replied.

'Why don't you go without the shirt? I know McPerve over there has no complaints,' Tony said, gesturing to McGee, who was staring slightly. He blushed and looked back down to his desk. Ziva stormed out of the room, making all three men stare at her retreating form. Gibbs quickly collected himself and barked at the others do to their work. He decided to pay a visit to Abby down in the lab.

'Abby, Ziva needs your help with personal problems,' he said bluntly. Abby looked excited straight away.

'Ooh, is it boy troubles?' Seeing the look on Gibbs' face, she tried again. '...Girl troubles?'

'A bit of both,' Gibbs said. 'She needs some clothes to wear.'

Abby looked confused. 'Clothes?'

'Tony ruined her original ones.'

A smile spread across her face. 'I knew he had a thing for her. Next he'll be accidentally dropping his pencils, just like a twelve year old boy. I bet he was the type to pull pigtails, too...' Realising that she was rambling on about a subject that Gibbs was not too pleased to hear, she shut up. 'Yes, Boss, I will help,' she said, scampering out of the room.

'She's in the ladies room!' Gibbs yelled to her retreating back. She turned and did a mock salute before entering the girl's room. Ziva was sitting unhappily beneath the hand-dryer, her shirt practically invisible and her red bra standing out against her skin.

'Hey, Ziva,' Abby said cheerily. Ziva gave her a half-hearted smile. 'Gibbs said you needed some help!'

'DiNozzo put water on my shirt,' she explained. 'Do you have a shirt I could wear?'

'I certainly do, Ziva!' Abby said. Quickly ripping off her first layer of clothing, she revealed a skimpy black singlet with spaghetti straps. She took that off before putting her Gothic shirt back on. Tossing the thin singlet to Ziva, she caught it easily and replaced her wet shirt.

'Thank you, Abby,' Ziva said honestly, even though she wasn't too happy that the shirt was tight and showed a lot of midriff and cleavage. It's better than see-through, she told herself with a sigh. Abby chatted on about something Ziva wasn't listening to, until she heard Tony's name. Her fists clenched. 'He is going to spend,' she said. Abby looked confused for a minute, before beaming brightly.

'He is going to pay, Ziva, not spend,' Abby corrected. Ziva shrugged it off. Thanking Abby one more time, she walked out of the bathroom and back to her desk silently. Tony looked up from his paperwork when she entered, but she stubbornly sat down and started working without saying a word. McGee looked curious but didn't say anything.

'Nice singlet,' Tony said, smirking, as if pleased with himself. She continued on without even glancing at him. He frowned. Looking around, he found an eraser and flicked it at her. Of course, she wasn't really doing her work, and caught it before it hit her. Glaring up at him, she aimed at his nose and fired in an instant, giving him just enough time to deflect it with his hands. It went flying to the floor. 'That was unfair!' he exclaimed. She smiled.

'Revenge,' she whispered.

'The kitty has claws,' he said, smirking his signature smirk again

'I'm a kitty with claws?' she repeated questioningly, guessing it was some sexual term of his.

'Oh, definitely,' he said, still smirking. 'You're a kitty, trust me.'

'A kitty is a...cat?' she asked, frowning.

'No, not really,' Tony said, chuckling.

'It is...a pussy?' she asked again, looking confused. 'I am a...pussy?' Tony choked on his own spit before bursting out in laughter. McGee's face was red and he had his head on his desk, trying to hide his laughter. Ziva looked around, completely bewildered. Tony's eyes were beginning to water. 'What is funny about a pussy?' she demanded, but neither man could tell her without choking up with hysterical laughter. Picking up a pencil beside her, she chucked it angrily at Tony, who could do nothing but continue laughing. He was clutching his stomach, his eyes positively streaming by then. She stood up and threw a tissue box at him, trying to get him to stop.

He held his hands up in a defensive manner, trying to calm down and call a truce. But she did not give up. Anything she could find, she began throwing at him. Eventually he stood up and tried to dodge the random items being thrown at him, but could not. He backed away, so she stood up and took a step forward. Trying a new tactic, he took a step closer and grabbed her wrist so she could not throw anything else. Her eyes narrowed. 'I could kill you right now,' she hissed. When he tried to push her away, he ended up stumbling forward and taking them both to the floor.

He scrambled onto his knees so that he was not directly on top of her, but seeing the humour in the situation, he put his hands on either side of her head. 'You know, I could take advantage of this position, Zee-vah,' he whispered. She glared and tried to push his weight off of her.

'Get off,' she angrily demanded. 'Or else.'

'I knew those claws were still there,' he breathed, bending down closer to her. She went still for a moment.

There was a loud click from their right and they both whipped their heads to the sight of Abby with a camera. Ziva quickly regained her senses and punched Tony right in a sensitive spot so that he was winded. Losing balance, he fell right on top of her, heaving for air. Another click was heard. Ziva pushed him off of her with all her strength, which was much more than it would seem, and he eventually rolled his top body off of her, still panting from the pain.

'That hurt,' he groaned, frowning. Abby giggled.

'Those are the cutest photos,' she said, scanning through the photos with her camera, still giggling. 'You two really bring on the pretty.'

'Bring on the pretty?' Ziva repeated slowly, confused.

'She's talking about you being pretty, Zee-vah,' Tony explained casually, waving it off with his hand. Ziva blushed, unsure if she had ever heard him call her pretty before. He did it without thinking about sex or lust either – it just seemed natural. The moment ended when he added, 'Of course, I'm prettier. It's a DiNozzo thing, don't take it personally. Nice stomach, by the way.' He grinned, staring down at her practically bare midriff. She regained composure and glowered at him, hopelessly trying to pull the shirt down. Unfortunately, this meant more exposure at the top of the shirt. She had the feeling she wasn't leaving much to the imagination anymore.

Ziva began to feel uncomfortable, realising his knee was in between her legs. She sat up slightly and complained, 'You hurt my thigh.'

'I can kiss it better, if you like,' he offered, smirking as he sat upright. She glared.

'Kissing would not help a bruise,' she retorted.

He grinned down at Ziva.

'I can prove you wrong about that.'


AN: Hope you enjoyed that little one-shot of mine. It was originally gonna lead into a plot-line and be the first chapter of an NCIS story of mine, but I decided to leave it as a one-shot. Anyway, I know it sort of dragged on a bit, but it was just me being bored while on sick leave from school. I couldn't think of a decent title, but whatever. It'll do Donkey, it'll do.

Sorry, couldn't resist. If you don't understand that quote, don't worry about it.

Oh, and I apologise for any dumb mistakes. My bad.

Spring Dancer.