Notes: Sebastian obsession just keeps growing, and after Michael, I just couldn't handle the potential this boy has. So here it is, my own little take on how Sebastian came to be. All the quotes at the beginning are from Oscar Wilde's Dorian Gray. I think it fits Sebastian perfectly. I hope you enjoy!

"It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But it is better to be good than to be ugly."

He is a good boy. He really is. But the world doesn't let him be both good and beautiful, so, when push comes to shove, he has to choose.

"Isn't he beautiful?"

"God, yes, you should be really proud, he's so handsome."

"Look at those eyes! You've got the most beautiful eyes, Sebastian"

He tills his head to the side and smiles politely. All eyes are on him as his mother introduces him to one and another and flaunts him around like a piece of expensive jewelry.

Compliments fly his way and hands touch his hair and lips kiss his cheeks and arms squeeze the air out of him, while he smiles and nods and shies away from the looks. Because oh! Isn't he so elegant! So humble! Isn't he just perfect?

Inside, he laughs.

He is just thirteen and already knows how the world works. Isn't that sad?

"Can you see it, sweetheart? What they see when they look at you? You are going to do great things, Sebastian."

He stares at his mom with a smile gracing his soft, thin lips, and wonders.

Would I be able to do great things if I were ugly?

.

The boy that's looking at him from the other side of the room it's far too tall to be his age. He holds himself differently than the boys Sebastian knows, who are childish and stupid and mostly just plain boring, so he doesn't leave when he approaches him.

"You are far to handsome to be standing here alone."

Sebastian stares at him, sea green eyes moist and slightly red, and courage far too inflated by the alcohol running through his veins.

"You think I'm handsome?" He asks with raspy voice.

"Who wouldn't?"

And that's really all Sebastian needs to hear. He's not really that much into guys but everyone who thinks he is handsome deserves a chance, so he lets the guy lead him through the back door of the club and ravish him against the cold, sharp wall of the dirty back alley.

It's kind of strange, actually, and the lips against his own feel a little cold and the kiss is a little bruising and the hands that grip his hips and pull his hair touch him a little too freely where no one else has touched him before. But Sebastian is used to people always touching him and ruffling his hair and exclaiming how beautiful he is, so he just closes his eyes and lets the boy do.

When it's over, and he's panting, and his knees give out, and the boy leaves, Sebastian sits on the dirty floor of the alley and decides that he likes this kind of touch much better.

"You are so, so beautiful..."

Sometimes, he thinks that the only reason he's beautiful is because everything around him is so ugly.

.

He realizes, after a couple more encounters on back alleys and darkened bathrooms, that he can do whatever he wants, with whoever he wants. The rush of power is so strong, it's exhilarating. He has never felt so alive, so in control.

He relishes on the looks and the subtle touches and bathes in all the attention, somehow forgetting that thing that they said, that beauty is not everything.

Because beauty is everything.

Sebastian has nothing more.

"Where have you been lately? You've been totally MIA!"

Sebastian stares at his best friend and doesn't even think before answering.

"I've been having sex with guys against bathroom walls."

But they're at the school cafeteria and there's people around them and this is a fucking town full of jerks simply don't understand.

So when his friend punches him, and he hears the gasps and the insults and the laughs, Sebastian just smiles.

"You are so, so beautiful..."

He's too damn beautiful to be broken.

After a month of sneers and punches and insults, he bends, eventually.

"What you are, Sebastian, is an abomination of nature" his father says, the day he finds him curled on a corner of his room, with blood on his nose and a broken lip and tears slipping from his eyes "But you are not a coward. And if you want to survive, you're gonna have to suck it up and take it like a man."

Sebastian stares at the man before him, wipes the tears away with the back of his hand, ignoring the pain of his nose and lip, and stands up slowly.

"You're going to be called worse things, and you're going to get beaten up a lot harder, but it was your choice. You might look good on the outside but on the inside you're sick, you're corrupted. At least have the decency not to cry like a girl."

You are sick, you are corrupted. You are beautiful.

Sebastian starts to laugh.

The next day at school he approaches his former best friend in the middle of the hall and breaks his nose with a punch.

"It's not my fault you're so ugly I couldn't bear to sleep with you. Get over it" he snarls.

And he holds his head high and a cruel smirk plastered on his handsome features and no one ever looks down on him again.

.

He's fifteen now.

Paris is so different from Texas.

Everything in Paris is beautiful. Everywhere he looks there are beautiful faces and beautiful eyes and beautiful smiles. Beautiful girls and boys that fall at his feet like lambs.

He goes through all of them. He breaks boys and girls alike because they are too beautiful, and beauty is corrupted and sick and wrong.

"You're so damn hot"

Being hot is different than being beautiful.

The hot breath against his ear sends a shiver down his spine and he has to use all the willpower he has not to come in that very second.

The man knelt before him looks up and smiles as Sebastian let's out a small moan and pushes his head down against his cock again.

It's different than when he does it with boys. Men are more experienced, more mature, they scare less easily.

He knows why they want him.

"That's because I'm young" he says, and he knows the words had the desired effect when the man slams him forcefully against the wall.

He's become more bitter, more sour, less polite. Hurting people is so easy that he doesn't seem to be able to stop.

He can have everything he wants. Girls, boys, expensive toys... All they need is to take one look at him, listen to his silky voice just one time, and there's nothing they can do.

Sebastian has been loved by many already. Older men wanting to feel young again, kids his age, wanting to feel loved and accepted, girls who expected prince charming and found the devil instead.

Yeah, Sebastian knows about love.

But love is just as sick as beauty.

His father has decided to ignore his existence and his mother's more drunk than sober most of the time, but she still looks at him with the same adoration and whispers You're beautiful as if it's the only thing that matters.

And it is.

Because, as Sebastian has come to realize, everything is rotten. And only the beautiful survive.

"You know nothing about love" a scorned lover said once "Who could love you?"

Sebastian just stared at him. He was not as beautiful as he remembered him to be. What a waste.

"I love myself."

I am the only one who is beautiful enough.