it was dinnertime. the cool crew (thats what they called themselves) was out to dinner at a sushi restaurant. they had just finished their meal when hermione realized she was hungry for something-but not something you could get at a sushi restaurant. she needed the touch of a man. she grimaced as she realized the closest man to her was harry, but closed her eyes and kissed him. his skin was squishy, with a slick outer coating. he was even pinker close up. it felt like kissing a giant piece of sashimi. she was revolted. she pulled away. to try and hide the awkward harry decided to ask ron on a date. "want to go watch a movie at my house" he murmured in rons ear. "of course i do but i think we need to bring the hot babes with us" he responded, gesturing at hermione and ginny. "ok darling." harry was cool with anything as long as ron was there. harry called his dad to pick them up because harry couldnt drive. When they got back to his house harry decided to go get a laptop from his room secretly hoping ron would follow him. ron did, but so did ginny and hermione. those stupid girls ruining everything. when they got in his room ron sat on his bed. harry was erected by the thought of rons bottom touching his sheets through his pants. but suddenly a whale landed on top of ron. harry was confused at how it was breathing outside the water but then he put his glasses on and realized it was just hermione. He was outraged. why was hermione getting to do the frickle frackle with rons ding dong? he wanted to do the frickle frackle! incensed, he decided to make ron jealous and grabbed for ginny. they were both erected by watching the whale and ron but for very different reasons. so they decided to frickle frackle with each other. they couldnt actually frickle frackle because they had stds. harry was worried that hermione would give his beloved ron an std but at the same time he didnt care. ron would one day be all his. they kept getting on the dipper whoo with the ding dong and the viggle vaggle. harry had his eyes closed to keep from seeing ginnys body. suddenly he heard a knock. who could it be? the girls tried and put on their clothes but decided they were hot enough for the person at the door so they didnt. the door opened and closed and then harry heard dumbledore's voice. "harry youve been doing the naughty naughty and i think the friends need to go bye bye." so the friends went bye bye and harry was never touched again.