The wise man does not expose himself needlessly to danger, since there are few things for which he cares sufficiently; but he is willing, in great crisis, to give even his life- knowing that under certain conditions it is not worthwhile to live.- Aristotle
The room hummed with anticipation. Everywhere Sue Li looked, there were clusters of students and teachers whispering in hushed, hurried voices, as if afraid that these would be their last words.
'They very well could be,' she thought darkly, gripping her wand tighter as she considered the possibilities.
She knew by this time tomorrow that many of the people she was standing with would be dead. And she knew with stark clarity that she could be one of them.
It was humbling, she supposed, to have your mortality hanging in the balance. She could easily be killed in the battle that was coming. She had known it had been inevitable since You-Know-Who had returned. She had known that it would come down to this ultimatum; light or dark, us or them, life or death. And, for several months now, she had known, if given the choice, she would stand up and fight. After months of the Carrows, she had known that she was willing to die if that meant ending this madness.
She had never been known for her courage. She may have been stubborn, and opinionated, but Sue Li was not brave. At least, not when it mattered. She could always be counted upon to make a scene in the common room, yet outside of her circle of friends, Sue was quiet and studious. She had spent her life hiding behind books, never standing up for her beliefs. She had been too scared to join Dumbledore's Army in fifth year, even though she so desperately wanted too. When the Death Eaters had attacked the castle last year, Sue had hid in her dormitory, while some of her friends joined the fight. But it would be different this time. Sue had spent entire year learning what was truly important in life, and what lengths she was willing to go to protect it. And she was no longer afraid.
Sue glanced around the room, and locked eyes with Lavender Brown, who was sitting with the Patil sisters. Sue could not help but think of all the years she and Lavender had treated each other with the cold shoulder after an argument in second year. What had started out as a discussion over which house traits –and by extension, houses- were better, had end in a heated argument with wands drawn. Even though they had many of the same friends, they had never quite gotten over the petty fight. But, as Lavender nodded to her from across the Great Hall, Sue knew that tonight they would fight back to back, if need be, because old prejudices didn't matter anymore.
It was like the Sorting Hat had said on the first day back three years ago. And even though it felt like a life time had passed since then, what the hat had said still rang true, tonight most of all. To win this war, they would have to put aside old hatred and stand as one, or they would crumble under the pressure.
So tonight, it wouldn't matter that her colors were blue and bronze. It didn't matter that it wasn't red and gold that flowed through her veins, or that she had chosen knowledge over courage. The country her ancestors had come from wouldn't determine her fate tonight. And being a half-blood wouldn't save her in the end.
All that mattered tonight was which side she fought for, and that she swore to stand behind Harry Potter until the very end.
Sue had always taken stock in the things she knew for certain. It's one of the reasons she hadn't taken Divination. She feared the unknown, and uncertainty made her blood run cold. And tonight would be a night of lucky chances, and sudden tragedies. There was no formula for the battle that was going to take place. No statics or references point to help her map the outcome. She would go into this war blind to the variables. The only thing she could really on was her own abilities as a witch. Everything else would be left to fate and chance. So, instead of thinking about the things she feared most, Sue focused on what she knew. She may not have had the Gryffindor courage, or a Hufflepuff's unfailing loyalty and kindness, but she had her Ravenclaw knowledge and abilities, as well as the spells she had been practicing secretly all year.
So with the little unwavering certainty she had left, Sue reviewed the spells in her head once more. Because she knew when the sun rose tomorrow, they would have to pick up the pieces and put back together their world.
She knew this without a single doubt. But, she also knew that there would be a tomorrow to deal with it, and that tonight was all about winning this war. And she knew more than anything that they would win. Her very soul understood that truth. Despite all the blood that would be shed tonight, come tomorrow they would prevail. Light always beat out the dark, she reasoned. And, if they stood firm against the onslaught, when the thin fingers of rosy dawn reached the castle, they, the victors, would raise their glasses high in unmitigated jubilation. Because they were willing to put aside everything that once held them back in order to stand shoulder to shoulder with those they once hated. The lines that had once defined them were now nothing but dust. Now they had but one line to separate them from the ones they were to fight. So, they would stand strong, and they wouldn't back down. Backing down meant losing, and losing wasn't something they could afford to do. Because they had something worth fighting for.
I always wondered what was going through the minds of the students who stayed behind to fight. I know I would be petrified. But, I suppose there comes a time when you have to decide what's worth fighting for. And I wanted to show that growth, hence Sue Li and her inner monologue.
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