Author: Mel62
Author Email: PG-13 or T
Disclaimer: Characters are owned by J.K Rowling. No money is being made and trademark infringement is not intended.
Summary: One Shot Dark, Narcissa/Lucius What if your whole life was destroyed by just one mistake? What happens when you hit rock bottom?
A/N: A look into Narcissa's character and her love of Lucius and Draco.
I hated this. I hated him. I hated myself.
I was attracted to him that much was obvious. Of course it was innocent at first; it was allowed. He was just a boy I met at a club. A boy I flirted and danced with. Innocent.
I kept going back to the club, hoping to meet him again. I was entranced. Maybe even a little obsessed. That was just one of the many warnings I should have spotted. But I was young and free and innocent at that point. I didn't know.
One night I got my wish. He returned to the club. We started slowly. Dancing, talking, flirting. We got to know each other. Or at least I thought we did. He got to know me. I was too blind to realise I knew almost nothing about him.
We started to spend all our time together and I knew my feelings for him were more than friendly ones. I should have stopped. It wasn't right but I was naïve. I thought I knew him, understood him. I was naïve.
We had left the club and were taking a walk on the beach when he kissed me. I had been falling for a while now, it was at that moment though I picked up speed. I knew it right then, right there, I was in love.
I didn't know love could go any deeper than mine at that stage. How wrong I was. I kept falling. Falling even more for him. He held my emotions in his hand. At any second, he could break my heart.
A week later, as we were kissing again, I realised I would do anything for him. Absolutely anything. That should have scared me, but it didn't. Not now, I was too blind to see it then, but not now.
When he started asking me to do stuff for him, I couldn't refuse. I loved him too much to refuse. So I did what he asked. I would've killed for him…and I…did.
My love for him had reached the point of painful love. It was bringing me so much pain to be with. To love him. I was scared of him and yet I could do nothing, be nothing, without him. I couldn't leave him. It was as simple as that.
So I just went on…
And on…
And on…
I left my old life behind and married him. I had a child with him. I loved him. He hit his son, treated his son like shit and yet I could do nothing. I couldn't leave and I couldn't get rid of the child. I would disappoint him and I couldn't live with that.
Years passed by, and my son grew up. He hated his father, but he hated me worse. I had never left. I had let him live his life in this pain. I had only one wish for him and that was to find someone who loved him back. Truly.
One night after he had gone to bed, his father came for me. I asked him to tell me the truth, he owed me that much. He obliged and told me. He never loved me. But he wouldn't tell me his reasons for getting with me. It was all false.
We both knew I was helpless to stop it. We both knew I was going to die. So I said some last words. "For all you've said and done, I do love you Lucius Malfoy, truly." He looked at me for a moment before taking out his wand and said the words that would cause my death. As the blinding green light came, it was in that last second, that last thought I realised, I had hit rock bottom and it was my fault I had taken my son down too.