Because of the discussion on slashlords and too many Mary Sue stories on
the same day…
This is the result ;)
Yes that means Slashwarning....if gay relationships squirk you..you better leave than flame.
And anger yourself more than any flame will ever anger me. Actually they amuse me.
Mostly it is clear in the title.
Title: Who killed Mary Sue
Author: Strange Music
Rating: PG…..Partly Grazy ;)
Summary: It is a murder like none every before. And like at no victim ever before
it will be tough to find out who did it. Especially if the Fellowship is the Mainsuspekt
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: Maybe in other fandoms…but really. This one needs no Sequel
Disclaimer: I own none of the people of the fellowship. They all belong to Tolkin.
~bowing before the master~
If you want you can guess the murder ;)
And in case you haven't guessed it is all humour.
Who killed Mary Sue?
By Strange Music
October the 13th.
A rainy day.
My name is Farday, Jorn Faraday. And I am captain of the guards
in Fanfia.
It was early in the morning that I and the other guards were called to a scene most terrible and gruesome.
As before us lay the most beautiful woman we had ever seen.
What was so terrible about it you may ask?
Well she was dead.
And as we surrounded her we stood in silence for a moment.
Watched as her brilliant blue eyes stared into the sky and her weaving raven black hair spread behind her like a halo.
In one hand she held a sword and the other still glowed in the remains what must of been great magic.
She was an elf or maybe it was just her royal appearance that made her look that way.
We didn't have to look for her name to know who she was.
She was Mary Sue.
And she had clearly been killed.
And if that wasn't bad enough, we looked into the crowd surrounding everything and knew that we had a very very long day ahead of us, if we would try and find the killer.
*~*~*~*~*
The first to come to question that day, was a man of dark hair.
Don't think he thought much of us. At least his gaze gave me that impression.
Not that I wasn't used that behaviour from a ranger. They always look down upon us. So why should this one be any different.
Still for some reason it angered me. Not like he was some King.
"So the name is Strider?"
"As a matter of fact my name would be Aragorn."
"But the little one called you Strider?"
"Cause I am Strider as well"
Great, the interviews where just starting and we had the first problem.
"I am also known as..."
I held up a hand "Spare me....First answer me if you anytime during the period of the last days or weeks you had known a woman named Mary Sue"
"Unfortunately I did."
"In what connection where you to the said person."
He looked at me again with that exasperation look. As if I was supposed to know it.
"The person Mary Sue was known to us under the name Sashella Rosetta."
"Us?"
"Myself and Boromir."
I looked over to Harrods to make sure he was taking notes of everything.
"Anyway. The moment she appeared I knew she was trouble. If only for the fact that Boromir couldn't stop looking at her and telling her how beautiful she was. Like I wasn't there. She on the other hand kept telling him about her troubled past, how much she suffered and how she
never complained. Well, she most certainly complained now!"
"So you were angry at her. Angry enough to kill her?"
"I would never kill her."
"Even if she caught the eye of your ...ahmn...friend?"
"He is my lover and still I would never do such a thing."
The way he looked at me I knew that he was telling the truth.
So I just sighed and let him go.
It took me a few moments till I realised that the next one had already arrived. As a matter of fact I didn't see him till he sat on the chair.
A dwarf
Great.
Now that was a species that was known for their co-operation.
Not!
And right I was, as he was growling at me even before I started to talk with him.
"The name is Gimli, Son of Gloin and I most certainly did not kill that dreaded women!"
"So you admit that you knew her."
"Of course I knew her. Couldn't keep her hands of my Legolas. Bewitched him worse than anybody ever before. Made him think she was the love of his life. A friend she said he had known and loved since he was a child. Could shoot arrows as fast as he. And some ancient history book told us that she was the only one not affected by the ring. Made me almost forget that I no longer despised elves that one."
I sat up in a sweep of joy.
"So you say that she was an elf?"
"Of course she was an elf. I thought you saw her."
"And she bewitched...your."
"My Legolas."
Just as I thought that things had gone smoothly.
"You say you and the elf are..." I looked out of the door to the elf standing there "lover?"
"Of course we are!"
"Isn't there some sort of...I mean....size problem."
For a moment he looked at me like one looks at dirt on the street. "There is most certainly no size problem. I am...well...well-endowed for a dwarf. And you better not mention this question to Legolas. Poor elf can't do anything about his genetic!"
"I meant..." I stopped as from the way he held to his axe I thought it was better if I didn't ask him any further.
Plus without more information it made it easier for me to later banish that picture out of my mind.
"So you hated her!"
"Yes, I despised her like none ever before."
"And you killed her!"
"Most certainly not Mister! I know that my love wouldn't want me too. And after all as he was already back with me I didn't see any sense in it."
Now why did I know he would say that.
I leaned back
"Just send in the next one."
As I had thought, the one who he sent in turned out to be the elf. Which was good as it finally gave me the chance to talk with someone that had actually liked and even loved her.
"So the name is Legolas."
"Legolas from the Woodland Realm in distant Mirkwood.. Son of Thranduil, the King of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood....."
"Legolas is enough Harrod...."
The elf threw me an annoyed gaze but then left it without further comment. Thou I think I caught him mumble something under his breath. Which even when I didn't speak the elfish tongue was able to translate as an insult.
"I was talking with your...ahm...friend Gimli just moments ago. And he assured me that you and Mary Sue where in a rather close relationship."
His gaze turned puzzled, as if for a moment he wondered what weed I had been smoking and if it might have been tampered with.
"I most certainly did not."
"So you say that she wasn't your lover/long lost friend?"
Now he looked at me is if I had turned insane.
"Lover? I hated that woman like I hated only few other people in my life. If there is truly evil it is her."
Great, just as I thought that I had finally found a clue in this whole case, it was snatched away under my finger.
"But the dwarf...Gimli...he said that"
He smiled at me....something that would have been pleasant....if it wouldn't be like a parent smiling at a stupid child. Okay, so he was twothousand something years old....
"Maybe is just tried to overplay because he was the one that had been bewitched by her.
Said he had never seen such a glorious creature before."
"So he has a certain love for elves?"
"Elves? She was no elf, she was a dwarf he like he was. The only elf that he loves is I."
It was enough. I felt my head almost bursting.
"What kind of fool do you take me for? The woman I saw lying out there was most certainly no dwarf. I mean I am not sure if she was an elf or not. But she was no dwarf.
"As I don't know you for very long I do not what kind of fool you are. For there are many kinds of fools to choose from. Neither am I able to make assumption on how keen your eyesight is. But if is Mary Sue we are talking about, she was a dwarf. Although I remember that Gimli called her Melinda Goldstar. I never knew why? She was always Mary Sue to me.
"So you hated her?"
"She was an inconvenience but nothing more. Merrily a breeze in the winds of time. I knew that in the end Gimli would see her for what she was and return to me. "
"So you didn't kill her"
A smug grin appeared on his face "Didn't have to. Knew that with a lifestyle like hers, all that her future would hold for her would be beautiful....but dead."
"Let me guess....the wind told you?"
"No...I knew."
When the headache behind my eyes was starting to pound I knew that it was time to ask him to send in the next person of the ones still out there.
"Maybe you might be so kind and send in the old man out there. We wouldn't want to make him wait too long."
He smiled a very odd smile…as if her were laughing at me….but then did as I told him.
TBC.....Part 2 ASAP
As soon as I have time in the office today to type the last few lines ;)
Still to follow Gandalf, the hobbits, Boromir, Lurtz, Not to forget Ronda ;) and some more....
If you want you can already put in a guess on who killed Mary Sue ;)
This is the result ;)
Yes that means Slashwarning....if gay relationships squirk you..you better leave than flame.
And anger yourself more than any flame will ever anger me. Actually they amuse me.
Mostly it is clear in the title.
Title: Who killed Mary Sue
Author: Strange Music
Rating: PG…..Partly Grazy ;)
Summary: It is a murder like none every before. And like at no victim ever before
it will be tough to find out who did it. Especially if the Fellowship is the Mainsuspekt
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com
Series/Sequel: Maybe in other fandoms…but really. This one needs no Sequel
Disclaimer: I own none of the people of the fellowship. They all belong to Tolkin.
~bowing before the master~
If you want you can guess the murder ;)
And in case you haven't guessed it is all humour.
Who killed Mary Sue?
By Strange Music
October the 13th.
A rainy day.
My name is Farday, Jorn Faraday. And I am captain of the guards
in Fanfia.
It was early in the morning that I and the other guards were called to a scene most terrible and gruesome.
As before us lay the most beautiful woman we had ever seen.
What was so terrible about it you may ask?
Well she was dead.
And as we surrounded her we stood in silence for a moment.
Watched as her brilliant blue eyes stared into the sky and her weaving raven black hair spread behind her like a halo.
In one hand she held a sword and the other still glowed in the remains what must of been great magic.
She was an elf or maybe it was just her royal appearance that made her look that way.
We didn't have to look for her name to know who she was.
She was Mary Sue.
And she had clearly been killed.
And if that wasn't bad enough, we looked into the crowd surrounding everything and knew that we had a very very long day ahead of us, if we would try and find the killer.
*~*~*~*~*
The first to come to question that day, was a man of dark hair.
Don't think he thought much of us. At least his gaze gave me that impression.
Not that I wasn't used that behaviour from a ranger. They always look down upon us. So why should this one be any different.
Still for some reason it angered me. Not like he was some King.
"So the name is Strider?"
"As a matter of fact my name would be Aragorn."
"But the little one called you Strider?"
"Cause I am Strider as well"
Great, the interviews where just starting and we had the first problem.
"I am also known as..."
I held up a hand "Spare me....First answer me if you anytime during the period of the last days or weeks you had known a woman named Mary Sue"
"Unfortunately I did."
"In what connection where you to the said person."
He looked at me again with that exasperation look. As if I was supposed to know it.
"The person Mary Sue was known to us under the name Sashella Rosetta."
"Us?"
"Myself and Boromir."
I looked over to Harrods to make sure he was taking notes of everything.
"Anyway. The moment she appeared I knew she was trouble. If only for the fact that Boromir couldn't stop looking at her and telling her how beautiful she was. Like I wasn't there. She on the other hand kept telling him about her troubled past, how much she suffered and how she
never complained. Well, she most certainly complained now!"
"So you were angry at her. Angry enough to kill her?"
"I would never kill her."
"Even if she caught the eye of your ...ahmn...friend?"
"He is my lover and still I would never do such a thing."
The way he looked at me I knew that he was telling the truth.
So I just sighed and let him go.
It took me a few moments till I realised that the next one had already arrived. As a matter of fact I didn't see him till he sat on the chair.
A dwarf
Great.
Now that was a species that was known for their co-operation.
Not!
And right I was, as he was growling at me even before I started to talk with him.
"The name is Gimli, Son of Gloin and I most certainly did not kill that dreaded women!"
"So you admit that you knew her."
"Of course I knew her. Couldn't keep her hands of my Legolas. Bewitched him worse than anybody ever before. Made him think she was the love of his life. A friend she said he had known and loved since he was a child. Could shoot arrows as fast as he. And some ancient history book told us that she was the only one not affected by the ring. Made me almost forget that I no longer despised elves that one."
I sat up in a sweep of joy.
"So you say that she was an elf?"
"Of course she was an elf. I thought you saw her."
"And she bewitched...your."
"My Legolas."
Just as I thought that things had gone smoothly.
"You say you and the elf are..." I looked out of the door to the elf standing there "lover?"
"Of course we are!"
"Isn't there some sort of...I mean....size problem."
For a moment he looked at me like one looks at dirt on the street. "There is most certainly no size problem. I am...well...well-endowed for a dwarf. And you better not mention this question to Legolas. Poor elf can't do anything about his genetic!"
"I meant..." I stopped as from the way he held to his axe I thought it was better if I didn't ask him any further.
Plus without more information it made it easier for me to later banish that picture out of my mind.
"So you hated her!"
"Yes, I despised her like none ever before."
"And you killed her!"
"Most certainly not Mister! I know that my love wouldn't want me too. And after all as he was already back with me I didn't see any sense in it."
Now why did I know he would say that.
I leaned back
"Just send in the next one."
As I had thought, the one who he sent in turned out to be the elf. Which was good as it finally gave me the chance to talk with someone that had actually liked and even loved her.
"So the name is Legolas."
"Legolas from the Woodland Realm in distant Mirkwood.. Son of Thranduil, the King of the Elves of Northern Mirkwood....."
"Legolas is enough Harrod...."
The elf threw me an annoyed gaze but then left it without further comment. Thou I think I caught him mumble something under his breath. Which even when I didn't speak the elfish tongue was able to translate as an insult.
"I was talking with your...ahm...friend Gimli just moments ago. And he assured me that you and Mary Sue where in a rather close relationship."
His gaze turned puzzled, as if for a moment he wondered what weed I had been smoking and if it might have been tampered with.
"I most certainly did not."
"So you say that she wasn't your lover/long lost friend?"
Now he looked at me is if I had turned insane.
"Lover? I hated that woman like I hated only few other people in my life. If there is truly evil it is her."
Great, just as I thought that I had finally found a clue in this whole case, it was snatched away under my finger.
"But the dwarf...Gimli...he said that"
He smiled at me....something that would have been pleasant....if it wouldn't be like a parent smiling at a stupid child. Okay, so he was twothousand something years old....
"Maybe is just tried to overplay because he was the one that had been bewitched by her.
Said he had never seen such a glorious creature before."
"So he has a certain love for elves?"
"Elves? She was no elf, she was a dwarf he like he was. The only elf that he loves is I."
It was enough. I felt my head almost bursting.
"What kind of fool do you take me for? The woman I saw lying out there was most certainly no dwarf. I mean I am not sure if she was an elf or not. But she was no dwarf.
"As I don't know you for very long I do not what kind of fool you are. For there are many kinds of fools to choose from. Neither am I able to make assumption on how keen your eyesight is. But if is Mary Sue we are talking about, she was a dwarf. Although I remember that Gimli called her Melinda Goldstar. I never knew why? She was always Mary Sue to me.
"So you hated her?"
"She was an inconvenience but nothing more. Merrily a breeze in the winds of time. I knew that in the end Gimli would see her for what she was and return to me. "
"So you didn't kill her"
A smug grin appeared on his face "Didn't have to. Knew that with a lifestyle like hers, all that her future would hold for her would be beautiful....but dead."
"Let me guess....the wind told you?"
"No...I knew."
When the headache behind my eyes was starting to pound I knew that it was time to ask him to send in the next person of the ones still out there.
"Maybe you might be so kind and send in the old man out there. We wouldn't want to make him wait too long."
He smiled a very odd smile…as if her were laughing at me….but then did as I told him.
TBC.....Part 2 ASAP
As soon as I have time in the office today to type the last few lines ;)
Still to follow Gandalf, the hobbits, Boromir, Lurtz, Not to forget Ronda ;) and some more....
If you want you can already put in a guess on who killed Mary Sue ;)