Follow Your Heart
Rose blinked her eyes open drowsily. She was in her own bed in the TARDIS, but, unusually, she had company. And he was wrapped around her and sound asleep.
She eased herself round in his arms to look at him, smiling a little when he murmured her name in his sleep. It had never really occurred to her before that the Doctor might dream of her the way she dreamed of him, but she liked the thought. After all she'd been through over the last few days, particularly nearly losing him twice, it was comforting to know.
She gave a contented sigh as she nestled closer into his arms, tucking her head under his chin. She felt so safe in his arms, knowing that he wouldn't willingly let anything harm her. She let her mind drift back over the events of the day, and smiled a little when her memories found the latter part of it. Not just this, being in the Doctor's arms, the way she'd wanted to be for God knows how long, to have been kissed by him properly, tenderly, and to wind up just curled up and comfortable in his arms; but the reunion with Jack, and her new connection to the TARDIS. She listened carefully, and heard a low, happy hum. Seemed the TARDIS was content, too. She smiled, wriggling closer to the Doctor, and gently draping one arm over his side. The TARDIS's hum turned into a near-purr, and the Doctor shifted slightly.
"Rose? You awake?" he whispered.
"Mm. Sorry, did I wake you?"
He shrugged. "Doesn't matter, I'm awake now." She cuddled closer to him, eyes drifting shut as he buried one hand in her hair, massaging her scalp gently. "How's the head?"
"It's fine. Really. She knew what she was doing when she gave me her heart. No side effects, I promise. I'd tell you if there were. Stop being so paranoid."
He took a deep breath. "I don't want to lose you, that's all. I could so easily have lost you today."
"Likewise. But unlike you, I'm not paranoid about you being killed by Daleks or regenerating in bed beside me."
"I sometimes think that humans are far more emotionally wise than I am."
"P'rhaps. Maybe you've just got so used to charging around the universe fighting evil that you've forgotten to pay attention to how you feel."
"Maybe." He grinned at her. "Well, until you came along and changed everything. You turned everything upside down, Rose Tyler."
She smiled. "I could say the same about you. My life couldn't be any more different to the way it was."
"And is that a good thing?"
"Of course! This is the life I want. I couldn't go back, you know. I almost hated you for sending me home. I mean... for visits, to see mum, yes. But not permanently. Permanent, home - that's here. The TARDIS is my home now."
"And you're the TARDIS's home."
"Jealous?" she giggled.
He shook his head. "No. I'm glad of it. In some strange way, you protect each other. I think it's a good thing. So long as there are no complications."
"Ever cautious," she smiled.
He hesitated. "Isn't there anything about home you miss? Apart from Jackie, I mean."
"Like what?"
"Well... friends, for instance."
"I've got you and Jack."
"I meant..."
"Oh. You mean Mickey. No, he knew I wouldn't be coming back, I think. I told him before I left that there was nothing left for me there. He helped me to open the TARDIS even so, though, and warned me that going after you meant certain death. He'll assume I'm dead, probably."
"Which means your mum will as well."
She frowned. "I suppose so."
"We should at least let them know you're okay."
She sat up in sudden alarm. "You're not going to try to leave me there, are you?"
"No! No, I'm not. But they'll grieve for you needlessly otherwise." He was silent for a few moments. "You really told Mickey there was nothing for you there?"
She curled her knees under her chin, wrapping her arms around them. "Yes. Because it's true. I can't live that life, after all the things I've seen and done. I'd rather die young by your side than old and far away, having lived an unfulfilled life."
He swallowed the lump in his throat. "Well, let's hope you don't die too young." She gave up a safe life, a good boyfriend - for me.
She laid her cheek on her knees, facing towards him. "Hope not," she said sombrely.
"Oh, come here," he said, stretching his arm out to her.
She stared at him a moment longer. "I love you, you know."
She hadn't said it before, even though he knew it. "I know. And I love you. Otherwise I doubt we'd have ended up in bed together."
She grinned. "Yeah, but it's not as if we've done anything."
"Apart from kissing," he corrected.
"True," she agreed. "But that's enough of a shock to the system after today. I really don't think..."
"Wasn't suggesting we should."
"Oh." Truth be told, she was a tiny bit disappointed, but she saw the tenderness in his eyes, and lay down beside him, curling back into his arms. She tilted her face up to look into his eyes. "This has to be a dream."
"You know, I thought that as well. But it seems real enough. I don't think, in my dream, I'd have had Jack walk in on us kissing."
"No." She ventured to kiss him again, shivering to feel his mouth on hers again. No, I really couldn't cope with anything more than this right now. Just kissing him blows me away. She moaned as he pulled her closely against him, the sound muffled by his kisses.
Her trust in him never failed to touch him, but never more so than now as she relaxed into his arms, knowing that, having set the limits at least for tonight, he wouldn't cross them. That trust frightened him a little at times. He was sure that, one day, he would fail her, and lose that trust in him. But that was something he couldn't, wouldn't worry about now.
All the same, it was difficult not to give in to the temptations she offered unwittingly, curling her body around him and gasping with need, shaking with desire. "Rose..."
She drew back, panting. "Yeah. I know."
"You did say, not tonight."
She nodded. "And I meant it."
"I know. That's why..."
She smiled weakly. "Maybe we should try to get some sleep?"
"Sleep might happen more easily if we weren't distracting each other," he suggested. "I could always.."
Her hand shot out to stop him getting up. "Don't go!"
He sighed. "Rose... we said, not tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow night. But have you any idea -"
"Yes of course," she sighed. "And it isn't easy for me either. But after everything that's happened today, it might just short-circuit my entire system."
His mouth twitched into a smile. "You're making yourself sound like the TARDIS."
She pondered a while. "Maybe you're right. About the separate beds. I mean... I really really don't want you to go. But if you don't, then..."
He kissed her again, softly and tenderly. "Night, then."
"Night."
She felt strangely lonely as he left her room, and reached out to touch the wall. There was a comforting hum in response, which made her smile a little, and, feeling better, she laid back down to sleep, curling up in the warm patch where the Doctor had lain.
She wondered, as she ambled though the TARDIS the next day, if it really was just a dream, or if she really had spent half the night in bed with the Doctor, kissing him.
"Morning, Rose."
"Jack! Hi."
"Sleep well?" he enquired with a wink.
Okay, not a dream, then. "Yes, thanks. You?"
"Oh, fine and dandy." He gave her a knowing look. "Good dreams?"
"Mm," she mumbled noncommittally, and smiled brightly at him before edging towards the control room, wondering if the Doctor would be there yet.
He wasn't, so she laid her hand gently against the console of the TARDIS, feeling the slight vibrations under her fingers. "Morning," she whispered. She closed her eyes for an instant, concentrating on the TARDIS. The sound was gently companionable, as if the TARDIS was still sleepy herself.
Then Rose found herself scooped up and thoroughly kissed. Definitely not a dream. She laughed as the Doctor swung her round, then placed her carefully back on the floor. "And good morning to you, too."
"Morning." He kissed her again, and said, "so... where to today?"
"Do we have to go anywhere?"
He frowned, as if the thought hadn't really occurred to him that they might not go anywhere at all. "Well. No, I suppose not, if you don't want to."
She rewarded him with a dazzling smile. "Then how about we let the TARDIS cruise for a while, and just... have some time to ourselves. Rest a while. Get over having nearly got ourselves killed. That kind of thing."
He had to admit, a little down time sounded appealing, especially if some of it would be spent with her. "All right. Do you have any plans?"
She considered. "I thought I'd wander round the TARDIS for a bit, get to know her better. I'm sure there are areas I don't yet know, and that she wants to show me. But she's not properly awake yet, so I'll leave that till later. What about you?"
"Follow you around like a love-sick loon, stealing kisses whenever I can?" he suggested, only half-joking. "How are you feeling today, anyway?"
"Fine! Like I said before, don't be so paranoid."
"I wasn't being paranoid. But it's not last night any more so..."
"Oh." Her stomach fluttered interestingly. "Um... tonight?"
"Okay." He wandered round the room uncertainly, before returning to the console and tapping something in.
"I thought we weren't going anywhere?"
"Oh, nowhere dangerous, or anything. No need to worry about that. Just need to buy a few things..."
"Things that the TARDIS doesn't have on board?"
"Wait and see."
She sighed. " Would it in any way be connected to our plans for the evening?"
He brushed her lips gently with his own. "Just wait and see."
She saw little of the Doctor for the rest of the day. Truth be told, she was glad he'd needed to shop for whatever it was he wanted. There were things she needed as well. And things she just wanted to buy, because wasn't that what you did when you got yourself a sexy new boyfriend?
The word boyfriend grated slightly - she couldn't quite make it fit the image of a 900-year-old alien, somehow. And she found it hard, particularly now she had within her the TARDIS' heart, to think of him even as being an alien. If he was an alien, what did that make her? A mutant something-or-other - a mutant Gallifreyan, he'd said?
She gave a mental shrug, and carried on to the next shop on her list. Lingerie. Well, you had to have new undies for a first... date? didn't you? She shook her head and smiled at her reluctance to think of it as a date. First... rendez-vous?
She was glad, at least, that he'd had the good sense to bring her back to her own time and place, partly so she could let her mother know she was still alive, but partly so she could easily find what she was looking for. He didn't want her out of the TARDIS and away from him for too long.
She looked distractedly at her shopping bags as she left the shop. Sexy underwear (men always liked stockings and suspenders, didn't they? She hoped Gallifreyans were no exception to the rule), fresh razorblades, new mascara and nail polish. Clothes weren't a problem; the TARDIS had helped her pick out a rather lovely outfit earlier that day. Sad to think it, but she didn't really need anything else. Maybe new perfume? she wondered idly, wandering in the next shop. Or... how about some sexy shower-gel?
Not far away, the Doctor was making his own purchases. "Aftershave," he muttered to himself. "Razorblades, shower-gel... what else?" He looked critically at some of the clothing in the department store. "No, don't need anything like that. Although..." new briefs wouldn't be such a bad idea, I suppose.
On leaving the store, he headed for the off-licence. "Can I help you?"
The Doctor looked at the girl. "Maybe. Can you recommend a very good champagne? One that's suitable for a first date?"
She smiled. "Trying to impress?"
"No. I just want the best for her."
A wistful look flitted over her features, but she hid it well. "I'd suggest this, sir. It's not the flashiest, or the most expensive, but it's good. Or, if you'd prefer, here's something a little different. It's a pink champagne, a little more expensive, but particularly fine on the palate..."
It seemed fitting. Pink - rosé - champagne. "Sweets for my sweet, rosé for my Rose..." he murmured. "Definitely." And speaking of sweets... He paid for the champagne, and carried on to the chocolate shop, eternally thankful for the TARDIS' tips earlier in the day. He came out looking particularly smug, with a neatly wrapped box of rather expensive chocolates under his arm. "And thank all that's wonderful there's only one more shop," he muttered as he turned into the florists.
The TARDIS was empty of her when he got back; he could tell just by the feel. That, and that Jack was lolling in the control room, standing guard - under strict instructions to whisk her off under some pretence or other so that he could squirrel away his purchases before she could see them. "Not back yet," he confirmed, and added with a twinkle, "my, haven't you just gone overboard?"
"She's worth it," he said testily, then turned to the TARDIS console. "Well?"
There was a rumble of pleasure. "Guess the old girl approves," laughed Jack. "And I'd suggest you get that lot stowed away, doc, I can see Rose struggling down the street under the weight of her purchases."
The Doctor darted down the corridor, just as Rose entered the TARDIS.
Dinner was slightly awkward. Jack had cooked, mainly because, as he pointed out to them, they might be all starry-eyed and didn't think they needed food, but he needed food, and although the idea of them fainting whilst in the middle of something was mildly entertaining to him, he doubted it would add much to their evening.
So they sat and ate dinner in awkward silence, not knowing quite what to say.
Rose gulped down the last of her glass of water ('don't want you getting drunk before the main event', Jack had teased her). "Right. I bags the shower first." She bestowed a bright smile on the Doctor. "Promise I won't be long."
Jack lingered with him a while. "So far, so good."
"Mm."
"Nerves?"
"Why should I be nervous?" he snapped.
Jack held his hands up. "Hey, man, just asking. First dates can be unpredictable, that's all. You never know if it'll go right or not."
"Hm."
"Relax. She loves you. Correction: she's totally head-over-heels in love with you. Just like you are with her."
"Mm."
Jack rolled his eyes and gave up, and they sat in silence for a long while.
"Shower's free!"
Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Well, that was quick." He glanced over at the Doctor. "Well, go on. Your turn. Go and get spruced up."
The Doctor gave him a sour look, and went for his shower. He knocked on Rose's door on the way past. "Rose? Find me when you're ready."
"Where will you be?" she called out.
He chuckled an instant. "Follow your heart."
"Hearts," he heard her mutter, and knew she'd understood his meaning. The TARDIS would show her the way.
"Okay," murmured Rose as she stepped outside her door. "Where to, then?" She set off along the corridor. There was an excited buzz as she turned into another passage. "Huh?" She bent down and picked up the red rose lying in her path. "I'm on the right track then?"
She went a little further, picking up roses as she went. Finally, arms full of roses - twenty-three, she'd counted them - she found herself at an open door. It opened onto a sort of patio-garden, built around a pool, with another room at the other end. She went through into the patio garden and shut the door softly behind her, walking slowly towards the room. As she got closer, she could hear faint strains of music, and smiled.
The Doctor was there, and, as she'd half suspected, holding the last rose to make up the two dozen. He popped it into her arms and kissed her lightly. "Drink?"
As he opened the bottle of champagne and poured it, she commented, "you've done that before."
He grinned. "Well, yes. You can't live to be 900 without drinking champagne at least a couple of times."
She laughed, and laid down the roses gently on the table next to the champagne, and took the glass from him. "Never had pink champagne before. Didn't know there was such a thing."
"Rosé champagne is certainly less common," he smiled, a softer look than his usual grin.
"Roses all around, tonight," she replied.
"Mm. In your culture, of course, roses are the flower of romance and love... as well as sharing a name with you."
She flushed slightly, and took another sip of champagne. He caught hold of her other hand, and drew her out to the patio garden again. "I never knew this was here."
"Neither did I," he confessed. "I asked the TARDIS to show me the perfect place... and she brought me here."
"And the roses and champagne? Your idea or hers?"
"Bit of both. She suggested champagne, I came up with the rosé. She suggested roses, I laid a trail of them."
"So you are a romantic," she teased.
"Mm." he reached behind him. "This was another joint effort, by the way." She looked quizzically at the box, then at him. "Open it."
She lifted the lid and gasped. "Chocolates too?"
"Um."
Each dark chocolate had a piece of crystallised rose on it. "Rose creams?"
He cleared his throat. "Um. Yes."
She looked at him shrewdly. "TARDIS suggested chocolates, you decided on rose creams?"
"Mm-hmm."
She giggled. "You're adorable."
"Adorable?"
"Well you are! The roses, the pink champagne, the rose creams..." she leaned over and kissed him softly on the mouth. "They're my favourite chocolates in the world," she murmured. "Maybe any world. But especially when I can share them with you." She popped one into his mouth, and one into her own, sighing with sheer bliss.
He had to admit, of all the chocolates he'd tasted, these ones were... fantastic. Though his judgement was rather skewed by the fact that she was feeding them to him, delicately licking chocolate from her fingers, and curling her body against him as though there was nowhere else in the entire universe she'd rather be, or anyone she'd rather be there with. He felt utterly, crazily happy, something he hadn't felt in... well, maybe centuries. But then, he hadn't been in love for centuries, and it was so long ago... He bit his lip.
"What's the matter?" she asked, noting his change of mood.
"Oh - it's nothing."
"Tell me."
He looked at her and said honestly, "it's just a while since I've done this. The whole... romance, dating, relationship... thing."
"Oh." It dawned on her what he was trying to say. "Oh. I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like it's an exam you have to pass, or anything."
"I want everything to be perfect for you," he said, a hint of misery in his voice.
"Doctor, you've been around the universe a good nine centuries. Nothing's ever been perfect, has it?"
He looked at her. "Only you."
She blinked. "Did you just say what I thought you just said?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
"Ironically, Time Lords don't really seem to have much time to, um, dance."
She nodded. "Too busy fighting wars and killing Daleks, huh?"
"Something like that."
"I haven't - um - danced, all that much, either. And they mostly weren't..."
"Great partners?"
"Well, that too. But I didn't enjoy, um, dancing with them all that much, anyway. Mostly."
He seemed cheered by the thought. "Oh." He frowned. "Why are we still talking about it as dancing?"
Rose hid a smile. "I think you were being romantic."
"Oh. Yes."
She laughed, and scrambled to her feet. "Come on, Doctor," she said, holding out her hand to him to pull him up. "Let's dance."
He took her hand, and stood up, wrapping his arms around her. You taste of roses, he felt like saying as she kissed him softly. State the obvious, why don't you.
"Did you have somewhere comfortable in mind?"
"There's a bed..." he motioned towards the room.
"Well? Come on, then!" She picked up their glasses deftly in one hand and the chocolates in the other. "Let's go and get comfy."
Lying side by on the bed, propped up against the headboard, they sipped their champagne a little uncomfortably. Rose took his hand. "It... doesn't have to be tonight, you know. If you want to wait, I mean."
"Would you rather wait?"
She rolled her eyes. "No, but you want it to be perfect, and you're all tense, that's all."
He relaxed a little. "Do you really..."
"Yes."
"And it doesn't bother you that..."
"No."
"How do you know what I was going to say?"
"The TARDIS is in your head, and in my heart as well as my head," she reminded him gently.
He sighed. "Female conspiracy."
"Mm-hmm. You didn't answer the question."
He put his glass down on the floor. "Kiss me and I'll tell you."
Rose smiled slightly, putting her own glass down, and turning on her side towards him. Their mouths met softly, but it was enough to make her arch into him and pull him closer, glad when he took the lead and rolled on top of her, pinning her to the bed, kissing her with almost ferocious passion. He pulled away from her just long enough to gasp, "don't want to wait." His reward was to see Rose's pupils dilate and her breathing become even shallower, her entire body trembling as her hands slid under his jumper to caress his back, feeling the cool skin slide under her fingers.
She was amazed at just how quickly he managed to divest her of her outer clothes. Must be a Gallifreyan thing. She quickly realised that, though personally she'd never been able to fathom the attraction, the male fascination with stockings and suspenders were pretty much universal. Good.
It took her a while longer to get rid of his clothes, mainly because he was staring at the stockings too much to give her any real help with it. She smirked slightly. The TARDIS, as ever, had come up trumps - and Jack's flippant comment about ladies' apparel had gone a little way to help as well. Then suddenly he seemed to snap out of it, and she found herself hurriedly divested of the rest of her clothes, too. When the Doctor said he didn't want to wait, he clearly hadn't been kidding. But that was good, because neither did she. God knows, we've waited long enough.
She wondered if he was trying to devour her, the way he kissed her fiercely wherever he could, burning a trail of kisses down her neck and across her collarbone until she felt she couldn't bear for him to continue, and couldn't bear for him to stop. "Doct..."
But it was silenced by a kiss as he slid inside her, and she tightened her arms around him. Never, never, never gonna let you go... my Doctor... her fevered mind whimpered as he deepened the kiss, reacting to the way her body curled around him by pushing a little further inside her, pulling back a little, repeating the movement, until even her mind's voice had become an incoherent babble, and all she could do was cling to him, whimpering her love for him until she felt him convulse inside her, around her, and her own body was released of its pent-up frustration.
She lay gasping in his arms. And he was worried he was out of practice? Jesus Christ, what the hell is he like when he is in practice? "Doctor?" she slurred.
"Mm?"
She giggled breathlessly and buried her head in his chest. "You were fantastic. Absolutely - bloody - fantastic."