Summary: The Pevensies face their most challenging battle yet. The dreaded Mary-Sue in all its pretty pink glory, in the form of a book. The Book. Co-written with Witchy Pixie.

I've been writing a Mary-Sue parody with Witchy Pixie for the Inheritance Cycle fandom, one my partner-in-crime knows very well. After a while of writing it with her, we thought, Witchy Pixie knows so much about Inheritance Cycle Sues, I know a lot about Chronicles of Narnia Sues. Why not write a second Sue parody about Chronicles of Narnia? We both hope you enjoy reading as much as we're enjoying writing it, thought we both feel as if we've lost brain cells while trying to impersonate a Sue.

Disclaimer: I, nor does Witchy Pixie, own Chronicles of Narnia.

~The Marvelous Adventures of a Mary-Sue: Chronicles of Narnia~

Prologue – Opening Credits

Peter wandered the strangely empty halls of the Cair, wondering not for the first time where his family was. He hadn't seen hide nor hair of them in hours, which could mean nothing good. Finally, he came to the library where he heard quite a lot of giggling.

"Oh, my. Peter really should see this. It's slightly disturbing, but hilarious," he heard Susan comment.

"Oh yes, I'm sure he'll be scarred for life." Okay, now he needed to intervene. This could not be good..he braced himself and entered the room.

"What will scar me for life?" Peter asked. Quickly, Edmund closed what appeared to be a book in his lap, hiding it behind his back. Peter raised a brow.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Nothing," the three of them chorused. Peter was skeptical, to say the least. He reached behind Edmund and plucked the book from his grasp.

"What is this?" he questioned.

"Um, it's a book," Edmund replied. Peter gave him a look.

"I know it's a book. I'm saying what are you all reading?"

"Would you like to find out? It's called 'A Dream to Remember,' by Petersgurl123," Susan said with a suddenly wicked smile. Why did Peter feel apprehension from that look?

"I suppose I have no choice do I?" Peter asked with a wry grin.

"Nope," Lucy said cheerfully, opening the book the beginning.

"Chapter One," she began.

Leana Lily Allison Jones sat at the edge of the bridge, sobs wracking her body as crystalline tears dropped from her angelic face. She huddled in a ball, but winced as the bumped her fresh bruises. Her boyfriend, Zack, had just raped her after two years of being together. She had thought they were perfectly happy, but apparently Zack had only stayed with her for her body, marvelously beautiful that it was. She had stumbled home to her father, only to realize that he was drunk again. After finding out that she had been raped, he had gone into an alcohol induced rage and beat her senseless. She could have gotten herself pregnant after all, and what an embarrassment would that have been to him the family name. It was worse than usual, and she had been forced to run away from the house. She escaped to the bridge by her house, and had stumbled on her bruised legs, falling right here where she now lay in a bloodied heap.

Finally, she stood up shakily, holding onto the railing, and prepared herself to jump. There was nothing left for her here. Her father was an abusive drunk, her boyfriend, no matter what he claimed, did not love her the way she had thought she had. She had no friends to speak of, since she was shy and not very talkative. Her mother was gone—she had died in childbirth…Leana had always felt guilty for that. She had no other living relatives…she thought she would just end her life here and now. Standing on the edge, she looked down at the churning black waters below.

"I'm sorry, Mum." And with that, she jumped to her death.

"What is this? This is horrible, appalling! Why are you even letting Lucy read this? Why are you all laughing?" Peter asked in a flustered frenzy.

"Trust me, you're going to wish she died," Edmund assured him.

"…Wait, what do you mean? Didn't she just fall to her death?" Peter asked, now confused.

"You wish," Lucy said.

Leana felt light, as if she was flying, but she couldn't see anything. Finally, she heard a voice speak.

"Child, it is not yet your time. I have a mission for you," said the voice.

"Who are you? Am I dead?" Leana asked the strange voice.

"Not yet, Young One. It is not yet your time, go back."

"Go back where?" And with that she felt herself falling—falling into a deep abyss. Then suddenly, she was able to take a deep breath. Her eyes fluttered open, and all she saw was white, and a pair of stormy blue eyes before her eyes closed once more.

"I wonder who that could be," Edmund thought with a grin. Susan shushed him, and elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

Peter Pevensie looked down at the young woman in his arms in awe. She had fallen from the sky, a disconcerting thought. Also, she was battered and bruised, but he could admit, if only to himself, that she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. She had shining blonde hair that reached her waist, a slender, petite figure, skin as pale as the moon and, though he viewed them but little, eyes the color of the ocean's waves.

She was perfect.

"Thinks much of herself doesn't she?" commented Susan.

Peter turned and brought the girl into the house of the beavers.

"Wait, wait. Is this the story of how we first came to Narnia?" asked Peter after getting over the shock of hearing himself admire a woman in such colorful adjectives.

"Yes, it appears it is, though she skipped a lot. This is as far as we've gotten," said Lucy.

"Well, let's keep going then," Edmund said.

When Leana came to, she noticed many things. One, she was under many blankets, and all her wounds had been treated. Two, she appeared to be in a small house of some sort. Three, she could hear voices speaking a little ways off from her.

"Isn't there anything we can do to help Mr. Tumnus?" a high-pitched whiny voice asked.

"Whiny?" Lucy asked indignantly.

"No, I'm afraid not. They took him to the Witch's house. And not many who go in, come out again." Leana peered out from her bed only to see-a talking beaver! Two beavers…maybe that one could talk too! 'Omigawd!'

The Pevensies all looked to each other in confusion.

"What is the meaning of this phrase, 'O-mi-gawd?'" Peter asked in confusion. In turn, his brother and sisters all shrugged.

She saw a little girl about seven or eight. 'Oh, I love children!' she thought to herself. A girl only a little bit younger than herself, but she had stringy, ugly brown hair with a pasty complexion. The girl was too skinny, was disgustingly ugly, and had dull grey eyes that were nothing compared to Leana's beautiful blue-green ones. Of course she would pale in comparison to Leana's infinite beauty. Besides her cruel boyfriend, she could have gotten any man she wanted. She turned heads on a daily basis, was given three marriage proposal's a week, even though she was only sixteen, and men practically worshiped the ground she walked on.

"Full of herself isn't she?" Edmund commented. Meanwhile, Susan was distinctly annoyed.

"Disgustingly ugly? Who does this little girl think she is?" Susan asked. Lucy gave her a pitying gaze, but read on.

Off to the side of the group, she saw a black-haired boy, no older than about ten or eleven. He was scowling, and looked kind of bratty—

"Hey!"

But Leana could tell, in a couple years, he was going to be a yummylishious stud.

"What in Aslan's name was that?" Edmund asked, wondering if he should be insulted or feel praised.

Then she saw…oh boy. It was the William Mosely in the flesh! Well, in this, it was Peter Pevensie. She now realized that she was in Narnia, as in, Chronicles of Narnia. She had loved the movies as a kid, and fantasized about Peter ever since she laid her eyes on his sexy beastness.

There was a period of silence before peals of laughter could be heard throughout the room, at Peter's expense of course.

"'Sexy beastness?'" Peter asked incredulously, his face burning beet red.

"Oh…oh, that was the most hilarious thing I've ever heard!" Edmund said, holding his stomach in laughter.

'Omigawd! It's, like, Peter! Omigawd he is so hawt. I have to talk to him.' With these thoughts in mind, she stood up, now feeling fully healed and rejuvenated after seeing her beloved.

"Excuse me? Beloved? I think not," Peter said with a frown.

She already knew from the movie that the Pevensies had gotten here through a wardrobe in the Professor's house because they had been sent away during World War II and Lucy had seen it first and that Edmund was going to sneak away in a little while.

"Was that not the longest sentence you've ever seen? And how did she know I was going to sneak out?" Edmund asked as he blushed. He didn't like to relive his previous idiocy over again.

"Oh, why hello. You're awake, I wasn't expecting you to wake up for quite some time with the fall you took, coupled with your injuries," said Mrs. Beaver. Leana smiled gratefully.

"Oh yes, well, I feel much better now, thank you. Did I hear you say Mr. Tumnus?" Leana asked.

"Yes, unfortunately, our faun friend has been captured by the White Witch. She is the one who makes this land a never-ending winter. But fortunately for us, Aslan is on the move," said Mr. Beaver encouragingly. Though the Pevensies had no idea what the beaver was talking about, Leana knew perfectly well, since she saw the movies.

"Who's that?" Lucy asked in her adorably childlike voice.

"Oh, so now I'm adorable and childlike. That makes sense," said Lucy with a roll of her eyes.

"At least you're not bratty, but may have a chance of being good looking when you get older," Edmund replied dryly.

"Why, He's only the king of the whole wood! The top geezer, the real king of Narnia!" Leana just tried not to look too bored at the beaver's ramblings. Yes, it was Aslan, He's awesome, we know.

"Oh, she just insulted Aslan. That's going too far!" said Edmund indignantly.

"He just got back, and He's waiting for you at the Stone Table!"

"He's waiting for us?" Susan the Ugly asked.

"Really, that's original," muttered Susan.

"You have a new nickname," said Lucy wickedly.

"You're bloomin' joking! They don't even know about the prophecy!" Mr. Beaver exclaimed to Mrs. Beaver. 'Then tell them already!' Leana thought. She already knew what it was, but the Pevensie children were looking at him expectantly.

"Look, there's a prophecy: 'When Adam's Flesh and Adam's bone sits on Cair Paravel in throne, the evil time will be over and done."

"At least she got that part right. This 'Petersgurl123' has missed many of our lines," Peter said with a disapproving frown.

"You know, that doesn't really rhyme," stupid Susanna said stupidly ("Really?").

"You're kind of missing the point," Mr. Beaver replied with a sigh. "But, there is another prophecy." Oh? Leana didn't know of any other prophecy.

"There shall be two sons of Adam, and three daughters of Eve. One daughter of Eve will protect them in their mission, and through the love of two, peace shall be restored." Ooh, Leana liked the sound of that. She pretty much knew it had to be her, since the others were destined to rule, though she knew she would too one day. How could someone as majestic as her not rule? But for now, it would be her duty to protect the Pevensies. She sure wouldn't mind protecting Peter! *wink wink*

"This prophecy was made for you," Mr. Beaver said to Leana. "What is your name, dear?"

"It's Leana Lily Allison Jones, but you can call me Leana, or Leina, whichever you prefer." She decided she wouldn't tell them that she was from the future, 2011, and that she knew at this time Edmund was going to sneak out of the house. She didn't want to alter the history of the story too much with her presence, and it wasn't like Edmund would be hurt too badly. He'd just get ruffed up along the way, see a few animals get killed or whatever. But he'd be back a change person! Not the bratty kid he was now. If anything, she was doing him a favor. It'd be character building.

"Hey, where's Edmund?"

"End chapter one," Lucy said, an angry edge in her tone. Edmund was by all means, furious.

"Hurt too badly! I was beaten and starved in that accursed castle! What a bloody load of rubbish!" Edmund said, raising his voice.

"Edmund, it is infuriating, but please watch your language," said Susan. Peter clenched his teeth at the description. That particular moment in their story hadn't been easy for him, to know that he had failed in his attempts to keep his family safe. But it had just been mocked, and this girl hadn't done anything to stop it. He had felt a certain pity for her before, but now he didn't want anything to do with the girl that supposedly had a "thing" for him. Too bad this was only the beginning.

Haha! Here's chapter one of our new Sue parody! Witchy Pixie and I hoped you all liked it. Please R&R!