Stop Reading My Bumper Sticker and Drive
Because: Sometimes I really fear for my sanity…
Extended Summary and Explanation: "How is it that we always find bumper stickers to define our lives?" A combination of random oneshots and an ongoing KID case, all based on Facebook Bumper Stickers. Okay, so the KID case isn't all that random but it begins in Chapter 2, continues in Chapter 5 and is bound to continue in Chapter 8 (two oneshots between each chapter). As for the oneshots, they're are completely random. Please bare with the insanity that is plunny attacks and review before they all gang up on me and eat me!! XD
Math: Facebook Bumper Stickers + Me + A friend of mine (and amazingly enough, no sugar) = This story. Enjoy the randomness!
Disclaimer: Detective Conan and Magic Kaito belong entirely to Gosho Aoyama and his gang. The Facebook bumper stickers aren't mine either!! I thank all those who ever made them though!!
Bumper Sticker #1:
"I stare at people to make them feel uncomfortable."
Characters/Pairings: Kuroba Kaito (KID), Hakuba Saguru, Nakamori Aoko. No Pairings.
Word Count: 646
As soon as he set one foot in the classroom with his wide, goofy grin stretching from ear to ear and his hand grasping the morning's newspaper, Kaito felt it. Spinning on his heel to enter the classroom and letting the door close behind him, he walked towards his desk, his well-trained smile never faltering, but he could still feel it.
The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and he chastised himself for not having mastered that yet.
He felt like moving, jerking his body around in some way to shake off the feeling, as if someone had sent an ice cube - no - a bucket of ice cubes - no - make that all ice in Antarctica down his back.
He sat down, sensing that he wouldn't hold up much longer if he just stood there awkwardly in the front of the class. No one paid him any heed as they went about their chattering before class would start. He unfolded his newspaper with the usual flourish, though today's was a bit overdone - even he would admit it - as a cover-up for how his left eyebrow was unnervingly twitching slightly of its own free will.
But he could still feel it! It was still there!
But why? Why? Why him? He pondered as he bemoaned his sad fate, his eyes blankly scrolling through the first article on the page and his smile still not fading. Oh, he thanked his poker face for remaining relatively intact.
"I never thought you were that interested in the business section, Kaito."
His eyes bulged for a moment and he nearly jumped five feet in the air. Nearly. Just nearly. As he made to turn to his left, he let go of the newspaper with his right hand and quickly passed said hand in front of his face. He smiled questioningly at the person who had spoken, his nervous twitch miraculously gone.
"Kaito…" said Aoko dangerously.
"You told me to read something besides the stuff about KID and now you criticize me for reading something serious… and booooring." Oh yes, that was precisely it. Uh huh, yup. Entirely. "Do you not understand the pain I am going through here?!" No, she definitely didn't.
His voice's pitch had risen in the few sentences he had said, making him sound like the fourth talking chipmunk. And he could still feel it. Oh, if only he had a fly swatter…
Aoko raised an eyebrow at him, sincerely looking like she was worried for his sanity, but shrugged it off and walking away.
A few rows back, a certain British detective grinned evilly. It was working. Now all he had to do was keep it up all day and maybe, for once in his short life, Kuroba Kaito would finally crack.
Though he knew that he had broken the laws of physics before (and would hopefully live to do so again), Kaito knew for a fact he did not have eyes in the back of his head… at least not on a normal day. But he also knew for a fact that it, the it that was slowly tearing down the walls of his esteemed poker face brick by brick, was emanating from that very seat a few rows back.
The Patended One and Only Hakuba Saguru Amber-Eyed Death Glare of DOOM.
Then again, Hakuba mused, maybe having his right arm in a cast - courtesy of Kaito KID, though technically it wasn't the thief's fault the detective had attempted to launch himself at him, finding that the thief had disappeared in a puff of smoke and confetti, and thereby falling down a flight of stairs - wasn't so bad. After all, mentioned Kaito later during the day, perhaps as a way of ending the torture of the Death Glare of DOOM, casts were usually a pretty good chick magnets.
FIN
A/n: One normally thinks of Kaito torturing Hakuba so I decided to give the Brit a break this time. ^-^ Please review!!
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