Disclaimer: I don't own the Turtles. I don't even have any of their memorablia.
Warnings: Its a Deathfic! Also some violence and bad words here too.
A/N: A big thank you to Shadowflame611 for beta-ing this for me!
Even though there is death, I love those green guys, really! Torture is such fun though. You get the urge to huggle them after.
This is not my first writing but my first to star the fab four.
One-shot
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DOMINO
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It all started on a rooftop. It was the beginning of the end.
It just happened so quickly. Shredder and his Foot trapped all of us, my brothers and Master Splinter. We fought and tried the best we could but we were severely outnumbered. Sensei took on the Shredder himself, while the rest of us were too far away to do anything. Watching our father out of the corners of our eyes, it soon became obvious that Master Splinter was tiring and fast, Shredder was barely winded. And then 'it' happened. One second Sensei was fighting as hard as ever, the next, Shredder came and took him away. It took only one slip.
I hate him! I hate that damn tin-can! He took everything away in that moment, him and his little bitch Karai.
Seeing Splinter fall hit us hard, and even the Foot paused, no doubt gloating behind those stupid masks. We lost ourselves then, all four of us enraged, beyond angry, even the least likeliest of us. We fought harder then ever, we were all determined to make Shredder pay. Like whirling demons, we cut and slashed our way towards that thing. Yet no matter how many we took out more would came. We were blind-sided by the masses, and none of us noticed Karai had joined in.
I was not the first to make it to Shredder, too many Foot kept me busy. I saw my brother attack him, an uncharacteristic expression rage on his face. He was actually keeping the tin-can at a stand-still. Blinded by a sea of red however, he failed to see Karai, and on that very roof-top we lost another. So engrossed on his opponent was he that he failed to see Karai slide up with her katana.
I actually screamed then, when his head hit the floor. What was left of my family stared in horror as it rolled to a stop. I can still remember the look that remained on his face even afterwards. Anger. It was no mercy to me though. Not like knowing Master Splinter didn't have time to comprehend his own death. It was not his usual expression, it never seemed real looking into those empty eyes and that scowl.
I miss him, I miss his smile, he died without it.
That was really the end of the fight. Revenge was completely out of mind then, I couldn't lose anyone else, I just couldn't. My brothers were in silent agreement, I could see it. It was a struggle; we were tired physically and emotionally and there were still so many Foot and obviously they considered the victory to be theirs already. They were gonna let us stew for while. One stupid Foot member even had the audacity to mock us.
' It's Turtle soup and Rat barbeque tonight!'
I killed him. I would not let the memory of my family be treated that way. Never!
Looking at my brothers I could tell they would have done the same thing if I hadn't already. None of us were the same after that.
After the battle the lair was quiet and so damn empty! Master Splinter was no longer there to lecture and train us and my brother was not around to cheer us up. For the longest time we just sat and did nothing. I couldn't comfort them, even when one of my brothers pulled away from us and sat in his own corner thinking to himself and doing nothing else; he barely moved for more then the basic needs. My other brother was hiding away completely, I could hear him crying at night sometimes, and that would have scared me if it was not for the fact I was suffering too much, but it wasn't like him to make only that noise. I was too caught up in my own misery.
After a week we began to return to something of our old selves, although there was no enthusiasm anymore except on one thing. Training became our world. I didn't care about physical needs; I wanted vengeance and was prepared to practice until I collapsed. I lost myself in it. My brothers tried harder then ever too, and we pushed each other along. It was the only time we truly spent together anymore. The rest of the time we would go our own ways and suffer alone.
The link that kept us as a family was lost, only in the dojo was that link still alive, if only as a whisper of the shout we were used to.
One night it all became too much for me, all that training, all that practicing, it was pointless unless we used it. I have never regretted my anger any more then I did at that time. I lost it, completely.
'Why they hell are we even bothering!'
'Calm down.'
'Calm down? Calm down! I've had enough of holding back! All of this 'training' has got to be put to use, otherwise why bother?
'You need to stop this. We can't lose anyone else. I can't lose anyone else.'
'Spare me. We're just gonna rot and die down here. Something has to be done and right now! I'm going and no-one is going to stop me. Right?'
'Damn it. Why do you have to do this now?'
'I'm not listening. I'm out of here.'
My brother gave me a look of hopelessness, but I turned away. I walked out of the lair that night, not giving a damn about anyone but myself. My other brother spoke one word as I left.
'Please.' I remember that. That one single word pleading me to stay. I wish I listened to him instead of my inner furnace. Maybe then things would have been different, maybe then I wouldn't be here now. Sitting on that same damn roof-top, wishing I had died here first.
I didn't go home for two days. So bent on finding Shredder and his murdering goons I barely noticed how long I was gone for. I scoured the city top to bottom, found a couple of Foot here and there but they proved useless to me; change they knew nothing or refused to tell me and such was my rage I didn't leave much left of them afterwards. One of them was fourteen, and at the time I didn't give a shit, but now, I hate myself for it. Just another mark on my conscience. Another wasted life. Another reason to consider those two nights as my most shameful. I wish I could take it back, I really do. Perhaps the loss we had received already could gradually be, if not forgotten then at least bearable. Two days and nights of a wasted search and I finally returned home and found that the devil had visited my family once again.
I felt numb when I entered and saw my brother sitting in the middle of the floor. He was crying, again. He had stopped for a time since the incident but this, this was worse. It wasn't the fact he was crying that shocked me, it was the blood. His hands were covered with blood! As my weapons clanged to the floor he looked at me, and it scared me all over again. They were blank almost like…. Almost… I couldn't bear that look and sank to the floor. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that we had lost another.
For a while I just sat and looked at my lap. feeling his eyes looking at me. Eventually I had the guts to ask.
'How?'
I had to pull myself together to get the story out of him and what I heard, well, it broke me more. It was my fault another died. My fault!
After I hadn't come back the first day they had decided to look for me, they wanted to know if I was O.K., or if something had happened, and after the state I left them, they feared the worst. There's nothing like losing a loved one to make you more fearful of losing another. Their search proved as useless as mine had, only in the end they found worse. I don't know how the Foot missed me with the trail I left behind but they certainly didn't fail to find my brothers.
The way he told it, the fight sounded brutal. The Foot had decided to finish their bloody game with us it seemed. No more making us sweat. They were eventually cornered in an alley, surrounded by lots of those damnable scum! They were down on their knees in the end.
'I couldn't fight anymore, I lost my weapon, an… an… I was about to be stabbed with a sword, I thought that was it when…. He stood in front of me. He, he… took the blow. The sword went right through him. They manag…….. Some how they caught him between his shell. It was a lucky shot. He, he…. Didn't flinch. Then….'
It took me while to get the rest of the story from my brother. The police had chosen to turn up just after that and the Foot took no chances and vanished leaving my brothers behind. One was dying while the other was desperately trying to save him. The wound was fatal and there was nothing more to be done.
We both took the blame for that night. I for my stupidity and anger in leaving and him for not being strong enough to fight against the Foot and for being the one to survive instead. We beat ourselves up in a whole new way and we always tried to deny the blame of the other. It was my fault though. One hundred percent. If I hadn't left then we would not be down to two. If it was just me, I would have finished what the Shredder started. If I had lost two siblings instead of one, I would have finished it that instant, I didn't deserve to live. It was a selfish thought, one that I couldn't complete though, not whilst I still had one living member of my family left. By completing such an act, I know that I would have murdered him too. Without me he surely would have faded away. It was about time, I decided then, to step up and be selfless.
I did the best I could to keep us together, trying to gain back our lost family connection. It was hard work. Getting through the endless guilt we tossed each other and the infinite loss we felt was most of the battle. I guess it evened out though. The guilt was mine, utterly and completely, and the memory of being there and seeing yet another one die was his.
Eventually we leaned on each other like never before. I even remember him smiling a couple of times, it gave me hope we were on the right track. At nights when the need to replace items was upon us we both went out together. In fact during that whole time we were never really apart. That was strange, before all this we had been the loners, but after the last 'incident' you would have had to use a crowbar to separate us. I don't know how he felt but for me being alone hurt unbearably. I always feared if I turned away and looked back he would be gone. I guess in the end though I should have known. We never really had a chance to heal fully. We were slack, no, I was slack, again. I killed him too.
I was So busy trying to patch up a broken bond that I didn't even think about security, after all that had happened, I should have known better, I was in charge it was my job to remember these things! It was my fault! Why? Why did I have to be so fucking stupid! No, that isn't right I shouldn't think that way. But... Damn it!
Shredder found the location of our lair. The Foot just swarmed in, more then I could count. We retreated to the dojo, grabbing the nearest weapon we could in the process. It was a short fight, such was fate against us. We tried our best to keep beside each other, I tried, but it was a wasted effort. The Foot intentionally separated us, divide and conquer huh? He yelled my name. I tried to find him. I desperately tried to seek him out. Finally I spotted his body down on the ground, blood pooling around his still form before the Foot closed in and blocked my view. That was the last of him I saw.
I don't know how I survived but I did. My memory is very vague about what happened after. I lost to my inner demon, it took over. By the time my head had cleared I was long gone from the lair, my home, my hope, my whole life. The Foot were nowhere to be seen.
For days I've been wandering, alone, lost. For days my world has been nothing but pain, sharp, stabbing, unending pain. It tears me and hurts me. When your cut as deep as this you know its forever. I am the last of a legacy. The only mutant turtle, in irony the one voted most likely to die first. With a life like ours you come up with all this morbid stuff, but we never took it seriously. We were young and immature and… I wish for that again. I'm all alone now. I can't help but think about this past half year over and over again. It consumes me.
It all began on that roof-top. This roof-top beneath my feet right now. I look down upon the world below. Humans. Pathetic. They live a life of ignorance. I want to be ignorant too. I don't want to be alone anymore. I want my family back! I want Shredder dead! I want… I want everything to be the way it was! I want out!
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I guess its time to finish this now.
Looking down I know what to do.
The only thing I can do.
I'm all that's left.
It's time….