Disclaimer: I am NOT Stephenie Meyer

This is my first one shot. I am quite proud of my 5K+ words. :) Also, This is it is still on temporary delay. I shall update it during Christmas break, hopefully. For now, enjoy my one shot! I love you guys!

It's Been A Long Time

"Edward, are you sure you want to do this?" Alice was speaking to me from the passenger's side of my newest silver Volvo.

"Yes, I am sure. It's been a long time, I don't even know if she will remember me, but I have to see her."

"Edward--"

"I know. I saw. And when that happens--"

"No! You wont! I-we wont allow it." Jasper and Emmett were nodding with approval to Alice's words from the backseat, with Rose still and silent. They all knew what was going on, even with mine and Alice's coded conversation, and they had refused to let me go alone to see my Bella because of this knowledge.

"Alice… It's been difficult enough without her for these past 70 years, just let me do this. Let me say goodbye, let me tell her I love her. I at least owe her that." And it had been difficult.

I only recently came back to my family, giving up on living on my own in little corners and holes of the world. A major part of me had died when I left Bella, and I could almost feel my dead heart restarting at the thought of seeing her again. But… what will I see? And how long would I have before she… before she passed on? That was a hard line of thought to take in, but I did. Mainly because I knew that the end of her life would be the end of my existence. Knowing she was alive had kept me existing for all these years, but I wasn't living, not without her. But her death… that would be the end of anything I had left after leaving her, partly because she would take that with her and another part because I would ask for death after her own. I may not get another afterlife, and I may not get a break for doing good by what I had, but I would at least not have to attempt survival in a world without my Bella. She was my star, my sun, my moon. She was the beautiful sky up above and the earth down below; Bella was my world. Was the world worth living without a world to live for?

Left here. Now turn right. Her's will be the second house on the left.

We had reached Forks, and I was getting nearer to her house with every tick of the watch on my wrist. I slowed down the car and drove carefully to the house Alice had shown me in her mind. As I turned into her driveway, a little brick house came into view. It was as small as her father's house had been, and had yellow daises in the front garden. The door and shutters were a deep green and the chimney had small puffs of smoke floating out of the top.

I paused after turning off the car and listened to the worried thoughts of my siblings.

Calm down Edward, I'm getting all sorts of nonsense from you.

Does she have any children? Is she married?

He's not going to turn her now, is he?

Poor Edward…

"Do you think she has any children Edward?"

"Shut up Emmett." Rose and Alice said this in unison. They both knew this was hard for me. It was hard for them too, even with their different perspectives.

I got out of my car and started up her walkway, making my way to her front door. I knocked quietly, and heard footsteps from within, making their way to the door. The front door opened to reveal a young boy in his early twenties with a stench I hadn't smelled in a long time.

"Can I help you?"

Do you smell that? Ugh!

Werewolf!

I heard a whispered 'ignore it' from behind me, and proceeded to answer his question, though he had of course caught our scents as well.

"Yes, we are here to see Isabella Swan."

This can't be them. The Cullens? No way. Dad warned me about them, but he didn't tell me what to do if they came back. Why did they have to come on my shift? "She's sleeping at the moment, can you come back later?"

"This is really the only time we can be here. Is it alright that we come in and wait for her to awake?"

"Um- Uh, I don't know. You really shouldn't be here. "

"Let me see Bella, dog."

Oh shit. "Fine." I need to call dad.

"No, you don't need to call him. I'm not here to cause harm. I just want to see my Bella. Please." The please was a little delayed; I didn't want to be nice to this dog in my Bella's house. The thought was utterly disgusting.

Jasper's wave of calm helped his anxiety, and he led us into a small living room space, with only a loveseat and armchair for furniture. The walls were wallpapered in an intricate flower pattern, with wood paneling. We sat where we could and I internally laughed at the discomfort of the young boy.

"Uh- She's in the other room. You really shouldn't wake her. She needs her rest." The boy's mind was in chaos, his thoughts going in all directions. He couldn't think straight for the life of him.

"That is okay, we can wait." She used to call it her human time, when times were better. I cringed. What had happened to her while I had been away?

Edward, calm. Be patient. The time to see her will come.

Time passed in silence, with only everyone's thoughts to keep me company. And, of course Bella's soft breathing as she slept in the next room.

"It's 12:00."

"And?" Rosalie spoke up from the corner, where she had been glaring from since we'd arrived.

"My dad visits Bella around this time every day. He used to love her, you know." I felt a growl building in my throat, cut short by my family's warnings.

Edward, you haven't seen her in 70 years. You have to expect her to move on.

This isn't the time to go about attacking people Edward.

Edward, calm down. They're not together anymore.

"I apologize. Bella… we used to be close."

"I know. M--" The door banged open.

"What are they doing here? Mason, are you okay? What's going on here?" The voice came calling through the house, and a tall man in his thirties came walking into the room. I realized we hadn't asked the boy's name. His name was Mason? The coincidence was questionable.

"Dad, they came to see Bella." Mason had stood and faced his father; he gestured towards us as he spoke.

"Huh. No. Cullen, you should leave. I don't need you here disturbing her peace." Oh, god, he's back. No, no, no. Why did I hurt her like that? Why did I leave her like he did? Maybe he is better for her. But he's been gone all these years…

"Please, I just need to see her. Before she..." My voice was pleading. His thoughts kept repeating his guilt, focusing on something he had done, though I knew not what.

"No. You really should leave. I'm sorry; I can't risk you being here with her." She was so broken when he left. What would his return do to her?

"And yet you feel safe leaving werewolves here with her?"

"Yes. He's my son. He's only here to make sure she's okay and doesn't need anything. I don't know how she would react to you being here. Please, go."

With every ounce of my being I wanted to kill this man for being with her after all these years, and go to her room and see her before she died, but I knew I could not. I knew I did not have the right to go barging in and asking to see her after 70 years. I knew I should wait for the permission of someone who had been with her all this time, even if he was a dog. I knew she would probably hate me, but that did not stop me from wanting to see her; it only restrained me from seeing her right then. I did not want to break any boundaries, especially now, so I sat back down on the small armchair and tried my best to calm my mind with the help of Jasper.

"How is she Jacob Black?" Alice had stepped forward, taking control of the conversation. Trust me; you will see her. Alice was always right; I prayed she was this time.

"Just Jacob, please. She's… she's hanging on. I don't know how much longer she has. It's like she's waiting for something, though I don't have any clue as to what. " My heart writhed in pain at this news, as did his mind. He did love her. Why then was he not with her right now? Was that my fault? Did she never move on? I could barely restrain myself with my mind telling me to go see her now, but my heat telling me to wait my turn.

"How- What happened… after I left?" As much as it hurt to ask this, I needed to know. My family's hearts were reaching out to me, telling me I could do this and that everything would be okay. Jasper diffused a calming atmosphere throughout the room and house, allowing Jacob Black to answer.

"Oh. Um.. It was bad. We found her in the forest after you had left, completely shut down, void of all emotion. She was pretty much an empty shell." In his mind I could see an image of my Bella, on the forest floor, and my heart broke again to remember that night.

Everyone adjusted, feeling a long story coming; 70 years was a long time. As Jacob sat across from me on the couch, Mason went and stood by the wall, leaning against it. Jasper moved from his place by the wall to my side, ready to be my emotional aid, and Alice stood by him. Emmett and Rose stayed where they were by the hallway leading to the front door, ready to block anyone else wanting to enter this already crowded house.

"She was like that for about five months, until January. My dad would call Charlie every night, always receiving the same answer: she wasn't eating without someone forcing it down her throat, she didn't go out, watch TV, read books, listen to music. She was a different person. But then, in January, something in her changed, and suddenly she began hanging out with me. It was really awkward for her at first, but she loosened up after a while. She gradually became a close enough facsimile to the real Bells, but there was still something missing. I would catch her crying when no one was around, or holding her stomach as if she was trying to hold herself together."

His mind flashed to one of these incidents, and it reminded me of myself, when I used to hide myself away somewhere nobody would ever find me and stew in my misery. I did the same thing; I would hold my chest, like my non-beating heart had a hole in it that I needed to fill. Thinking of Bella like this made me remember the promise I had made to her, a promise I knew I couldn't keep: It'll be as if I never existed. I couldn't possibly promise her that. One of my many broken promises, one of my many mistakes. I focused back on Jacob's story.

"…I was made to break up with her when I found out I was a werewolf because it wasn't safe."

"So it is true then?"

"Yeah. Leaving her was one of my worst mistakes I'd ever made at the time. I could see the same look on her face from those first few months. I knew what I was doing to her and it hurt. I didn't want her to be broken: I loved her. That same night I told her I couldn't see her anymore, I told her the truth, in a roundabout way. She was very accepting of me being a--a monster, but I guess that was… that was because of you."

There was an awkward silence after that, as if nobody knew what to say, and they didn't. They were worried about my reaction, I realized.

"Thank you… for loving her. I could never- I could never have subjected her to this life I live. Thank you for letting her live." I knew what he went through. To lose Bella was the ultimate loss.

"I'm really not that great a guy. You should know I broke her too, years later. I had no choice…" I'm so sorry Bella.

"At least she was happy for a time. It is all done now, so what you did was good enough. I broke her first, and I will never forgive myself for that… Pray continue."

He paused for a minute, contemplating what I had just said, and trying to decide how much into detail he would actually go in telling his real guilt, the guilt that was eating him away on the inside. This was going to be a long, hard conversation, full of secrets both of us would rather keep hidden, secret. Jacob continued from where he had left off.

"Well, one of the vampires, Victoria, from the first attack, came back."

"What?" It was the same reaction all around, Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, and me.

"Yeah. You didn't think about that, did you?"

"No… we did not think that she would ever come back--."

"You killed her mate."

"Oh."

"Actually there were two, but only the female was the troublemaker. She was almost too good at escaping our notice."

"Yes, I can understand that."

"How did you corner her, or did you?" Jasper spoke up for the first time.

Bait.

"YOU DID WHAT?" I roared. Now there was definitely no way he was leaving this place unharmed.

Edward, stop. You're not going to kill him. Whatever he did was successful, right? So, it was a good plan.

"Can you guys please speak up for the rest of us?" The ever curious Rosalie was getting annoyed from the front hallway.

"He used her as bait for Victoria."

"So you can read my mind, she was right. Bella wasn't harmed, I made sure of that. But the leech was after her, so she was the only choice for bait we had. The female said 'a mate for a mate'. So it's your fault in the first place, Eddie."

"I'm sorry. I did not realize-- had I known she-- I would have been here." My attempt at constructing a sentence at that was feeble; I understood that strategy as well as Jasper did. I ignored the slip of the name Eddie; only Alice used that name on me, when she was joking around. I had a feeling Jacob was using it as a slight against me.

"Don't be sorry. It's all good, Bella was safe, the 'dogs' were here to protect her."

"Thank you… again."

"No problemo."

He was ever so slightly smug about his accomplishments with saving Bella, not that I had not done it before him, multiple times. He obviously enjoyed the satisfaction of being here to protect her; the satisfaction of me not being there all those years. His mind was full of hatred of me and yet his mantra degrading himself was always there as well. His hatred of me felt more like a façade compared to his hatred of himself. What a fascinating mind, his was.

"If you would continue?"

"I still haven't forgotten you leaving, leech." And he hadn't.

"I know."

"Anyways, Victoria was gotten rid of, and that was the end of that. There was such relief in Bella, like a weight had been lifted off her back and we began to get closer and closer. She graduated high school, I graduated after that, but we still weren't totally solid on the relationship front. We had dated each other, but she was still reluctant to be with me as she had with you." Since she thought you were so much better than me. And I now know you are. You could have stayed and I would have never broken her. She could be happy, don't you think? I nodded.

"On the night of her twenty-first birthday, I proposed. She knew it was coming, she had given up trying to deny what she felt years before then, but that didn't stop her from being shocked." The image, the memory, in Jacob's mind was so vivid, so clear, that it could have happened earlier that day for all I knew. He preserved his memories well, for I felt as if I were actually there.

She was wearing a forest green dress, with different shades of green in the form of shoes, earrings, purse, necklace, bracelets, and hair tie. Alice would be proud. She looked absolutely stunning standing there as Jacob's viewpoint lowered as he knelt to propose to my Bella. "Bella, I wake in the morning anticipating seeing your face and hearing your voice. I couldn't imagine a day without you tripping and letting me catch you, always. I need you in my life like a bee needs a flower, like the night needs the moon, like the day the sun. I will never leave you and will always be by your side, forever and always. Isabella Marie Swan, will you marry me?" The whole room in his memory went silent, listening, waiting, for the three letter word she spoke next. "Yes. Jake, yes!"

Jacob's present voice called me back to the present.

"…Everything was perfect. We got married on the beach, moved in to this house together, and we were happy. She still woke up at night, sometimes, from nightmares, and I would still find her curled up in a ball every year on the day you left, but this was the Bella I married. This was the Bella I accepted as my own; I loved her, however crazy she could be sometimes. I understood that some wounds couldn't be healed." Your wounds.

He paused, his thoughts taking over his words again. I'm so sorry Bella, I'm so sorry. He had a far away look on his face, as if he were in a different time, but his mantra continued to stream on, never-ending, as if he wanted to be reminded of the pain he caused her. What a masochist. He reminded me of myself; I had kept the memory of her alive all these years, just to tell myself there would never be anyone better, that there would never be another Bella. Never. I would forever be alone because I left her.

"Jacob? What happened next?"

"She got pregnant and I imprinted six months into her pregnancy."

Silence.

"What?"

"She has a kid!"

"So it isn't a myth…"

"Is it the boy Mason?"

We were all speaking at the same time, all the words running together and Jacob was trying to catch up with what we were saying.

"Wait, just wait. Let me answer one of you at a time. No, it's not a myth, but it's supposed to be rare, though most the pack has imprinted by now. No, it's not Mason, he's my wife's, and no there is no child."

"So- so you left her?" I was hesitant. He obviously felt guilty about this but he left her too. I couldn't help but feel pity for Jacob, though I hated him at the same instant for leaving her with child. My dead heart went out to Bella, where she was sleeping in the other room. She had been so lonely all those years, so alone. Jacob should have been there for her while I was away, but he left her as well. What was wrong with the world? Was nothing ever going to turn out right for the angel named Bella?

"Yes, kind of. I didn't have a choice. She knew me imprinting was a possibility, though we had been together for fifteen years, and it hadn't happened yet. I never thought it could happen anyways; I loved Bella too much. But a new family moved to Forks and it just happened, like that. No warning, or anything. Bella knew immediately, and… and she freaked." I am so sorry Bella, I'm so sorry. I'll love you forever, even though Heather is my life now. I'll love you for all of time.

"What do you mean she freaked? What happened to her child?" Rosalie spoke from the hallway. We were all on the edge of our seats, fidgeting more than usual for vampires.

I can't tell them this. They'll blame me. It's too much, it's all my fault. I'm so sorry Bella.

"Jacob?" I needed to know now. What did he do to her?

"She tried to commit suicide." Gasps sounded all around me, and I jumped out of my seat, heading straight towards Jacob's throat. Both Alice and Jasper were able to hold me back in time, and Emmett came over to me, pushing me back into my chair, where I was told to remain.

"Edward, that won't get us anywhere. She's still alive now, that's all that matters." Jasper was always my near counsel, ready to guide me in the right direction. Though now, I wanted to see her even more; to make sure there were no long lasting injuries on my Bella. My Bella. He gave her up, she had always been mine, because he was claimed and had claimed another now.

"You are right. I--I apologize Jacob. How… what did she do?"

"I really shouldn't have shown her that either, I guess. How stupid can I be? She jumped off the cliffs of La Push into the ocean. Us werewolves used to do it as recreation, and she saw us jump once or twice. It really is too dangerous for fragile humans, and she knew that. She wasn't hurt by the fall; it wasn't until the was in the water…" Jacob was trying so hard to be bravado, to cover up his pain, but all of it was obvious in his face and how he sat there on the couch, trying to restrain himself from tearing up. He thought it was totally his fault for her pain and misery. Oh, how he was wrong. That was all my doing. If I had not have left, none of this would have occurred. If I only would have changed her…

Edward, snap out of it. Jasper was glaring down at me. I focused back on Jacob, who had paused while my own thoughts wandered. He swallowed, and continued with his story.

"Um, there was a hurricane coming. Sh-she was beat against the rocks. I didn't find her until she'd been under for about two minutes, and pulled her out and got her to the hospital. She lost her baby, our baby."

"I'm sorry Jacob."

"It's alright. Really. She-- she's better off without you, too, I guess. We're all bad for her, huh?"

"Yes, I think you are right."

"So you wouldn't have changed her if you'd stayed?"

I shook my head, "No. I could never do that to her."

We paused for a moment, all of us thinking along the same lines: what if I had changed her? What if I had stayed? What would that have been like? What if Jacob hadn't imprinted? The answers to the questions went in all directions, from her having a child with me of all things, to Jacob possibly killing her in a werewolf rage. These were not the best situations, the latter coming from Jacob himself.

"So, what happened with… Heather, I think?"

"Oh, well, I tried to find a way to still be with Bella, but Heather… I don't know. It was really hectic for a while, and I eventually ended up divorcing Bella. She-- she would barely even look at me anymore. She rightfully blamed me for the death of our child, and one day she flat-out said 'Get Out,' so I left her." I'm so sorry all this happened Bella, I am. I'm so sorry.

"And Heather?"

"Heather was young when she moved here. She was only ten when I imprinted on her, but I don't think Bella was thinking in those terms."

"Oh." I calculated the numbers in my head and realized Heather was only forty four. Jacob didn't say any more for a few minutes and everyone just breathed. It was unnerving, but the story needed a natural break. What better time to stop than when you find out that the love of your life was dumped because of a younger woman, a very much so younger woman?

"Did she ever--"

"No. She never remarried." He already knew everything I was going to ask. He knew I wasn't interested in Heather. He knew I would end up seeing Bella by the end of this; why else stick around when you have a seer to tell you what would happen. He also knew that he would give me everything I wanted, because of Bella, who he cared for with every ounce of his heart that was not reserved already for Heather. He had watched over her by for 70 years, I only knew her for two. He knew more than I ever would about her, and probably as much about me through Bella. She knew me best; she was the only one to ever see me clearly, and by association, he knew me and how I was. That was the most frustrating part: he knew all about me, and yet my knowledge of him was limited to what was in his mind.

"She eventually went to college far off, but had to move back after only a few weeks. She didn't do too well on her own. She came back to Forks and has been here ever since. She got a local job at the market and just stayed, like everyone does around here. I think it was good for her, though. To be around family, I mean. She had Charlie, and well, me I guess. That's better than nothing. I've been taking care of her here since Charlie passed awa--"

He stopped. We had all heard it: Bella was awake. Jake and I stood at the same time, making our way to her room. He did not stop me or make me leave; instead he made sure I was behind him, following. Jacob stopped at the door and knocked lightly.

A soft voice answered, "Come in."

"Wait here, Edward. I should warn her first."

"I--"

Just wait. She's sensitive. I nodded. He went into her room.

I heard him talk to her for a moment, asking her how she was. I tuned out the conversation, more listening to her voice and how she spoke. The sound gave me chills down my spine, and knowing she was only a few steps away from touching made my dead heart beat again. He eventually mentioned 'her visitors' to her. She sounded surprised but happy to have company.

"Edward?" Jacob called me in. I began to walk in and he exited at the same time with a nod for me. You make her happy now. She never stopped loving you, I can promise you that. Thank you for returning.

When I saw her I had to stop. She was lying in her bed, limp and tiny from old age. Her hair was matted and gray, and she had old wrinkles all over her face. One hand was rested atop the blanket, gnarled fingers grasping the blanket like it was a life support. What caught my attention was the shocked expression she held on her face. She looked as if she'd seen a ghost. It took a split second to realize that ghost was me. I still looked the same after all these years. But she… she was beautiful. She would always be beautiful to me.

"Edward? Is that you?"

"Oh Bella. Yes, yes it's me." She began to cry.

"No. No no no, not now. I can't have this. Please go away."

"Oh Bella no. Please do not cry, my angel. I came here for you. I traveled halfway around the world for you. Please. I am so very sorry."

"Why did you come back? Why did you come back now?"

I stepped closer, coming up to her bed, looking into her still bright brown eyes. She still smelled like heaven to me as well, but I found myself quickly growing used to it. I was finally there, with her. It was a dream; I must have been sleeping.

"Bella..."

"Edward?"

"Bella. I've always loved you. I came-- I came to see you. I have to know you still love me. I have to know you have loved me all this time like I do you. I need to know that I was not the only one that stayed up at night trying to hold himself together, because my heart was broken. I need to know that you never forgot about me, because I certainly never forgot about you. You were on my mind every second of every day, every moment of every night. You were there with me in the good and bad times, always my guidance, telling me that I was being stubborn or stupid. Leaving you was the greatest mistake I ever made, and it was for your safety, which I could never promise and you never gained anyways. I am so very sorry for that. Isabella Marie Swan, you have always been the one. I have always loved you, and I will never stop loving you for as long as I may live." The look on her face then was a once in a lifetime moment. At first it was disbelief, and then… relief? Every crease seemed to disappear, and I saw my Bella, the 18 year old beauty before my eyes, beaming with love for me.

"Oh Edward… I never forgot about you… Please come closer. I need to see you." Her breathing was shallow, similar to when she would lose breath when around me all those years ago. But, this was different, now: she was dying. My Bella was dying and I could do nothing to stop it. She had lived a full life and her time was now up. I knelt down next to her bed and gazed directly into her eyes.

As her heartbeat slowed, I knew I had only moments.

"I love you Bella. Forever."

"I love you… Edward."

With my name on her lips, her breath cut short and her heartbeat faded into nonexistence.

The car ride to join her was long.

Notes:

Bella is now 88, she was 18 when Edward left and 36 when Jake left.
Heather is now 44, and 10 when she met Jacob.
Jake stopped aging in his thirties and Mason in his twenties.

Thank you for reading!