I watch you as you flow across the clearing, my eyes tracing every line of your sleek body, memorizing every hair of your pelt. Your muscles rippling under your thick fur, your eyes glowing in the light of the sun – your very essence drives me crazy. It is all I can do to keep my heart in check, to keep myself from chasing after you, from leaping on you and pinning you to the ground and whispering how much I love you in your perfect ears.
But I can't. I can never tell you what my heart screams when I see you, no soul save me will ever know the secret that follows me. The shadow of another tom still haunts your shoulder, and his memory still pads through your heart; as real to you as if he were here next to you, instead of roaming the dappled silver sky. I see the look in your eyes when he is mentioned, the grief and pain and love all mixed in a whirling sea of deep, vibrant green. I feel my heart fill with the same colour when I hear his name, and my claws sink into the earth as I try not to show my pain. You were barely apprentices, how can you feel for him what I feel for you? You barely knew each other; your time together was like the twitch of a whisker.
I know you will never love me the way I love you; I know your beautiful eyes will never light up when you see me, the way they did for my brother. Every time I see you, my heart breaks again, because I know I can never have you; I know you will never give your heart to me.
And yet you have stolen my heart, and it lies pinned firmly beneath your claws. If only you would return it to me, so the scars from your claws could heal, and I might learn to love again. But you do not realize the piece of me that you have captured; and so your paws still hold my heart, never letting go.
Sometimes I race through the forest at night, only to get away from you as we rest in the warrior's den. I yowl my grief to StarClan, and beg them to take my heart away, and replace it with a rock. For I'm not sure if any love is worth the pain I feel when you are near me.
And yet, there are other times when I feel as thought I am walking on the stars, when every twitch of your delicate whiskers, every flick of your plumed tail, sends my heart whirling away, and makes my mind drift on waves of love. When we are hunting together, our pelts brushing as we creep through the forest, or sitting vigil for the camp. When our beating hearts are separated only by a fox-length, and I imagine that maybe, just for a moment you might love me; those are the times I wouldn't trade my love for you for all of the mice in StarClan.
When you see me, what do you see? Do you see a fellow warrior, a sort-of friend, just another Clanmate? Or is there something more hidden in my pelt, which only you can see? Is there a soul inside me that you could love, behind my black and earth coloured fur? Or do you only long for my brother, for his tawny fur and amber eyes; do you still only care for the cat who was taken from you so many seasons ago?
I hear your voice calling to me across the clearing, and I am jerked back into reality, away from my day-dreams and wishes. You bound towards me, your eyes sparkling with excitement. You tease me, calling me a lazy furball, and I purr a response. As we pad out of the camp towards the ShadowClan border, I feel my heart swept up in your emerald gaze, and my mind fades away, leaving my heart alone; to hope, to dream, to love you.
That is the first one-shot I have ever done, though I have a bunch of other stories on fanfiction. I purposely never mentioned the names of the cats, though I don't think it should be too difficult to figure out who they are, if you really want to know. Like I said, unless this is extremely popular, it will remain a one-shot.