Author's Note: I'm so stupid to start this fic while I'm right in the middle of another Lollie fic. I'm gonna be so confused. Anyway, the song 'One Week' by Barenaked Ladies is completely matching for this ship and I felt there needed to be a fic on it. Please go and print the lyrics. They go along to this story. I tried to not make it too matchy-match and random, because the song itself is random. This is a demo. If you don't like it, I won't continue. I probably shouldn't post this up now, but I will for opinions. Enjoy ya'll!

One Week

Chapter 1

5 Days Since

It'd been one week since she looked at me, cocked her head to the side like she does and said,

"I'm angry."

It was almost cute how she did it, but I knew she was serious. She had on her rare 'serious' face. A smile crept along my lips, I could feel it tugging at the sides of my mouth. I knew I shouldn't. Lilly poked out her bottom lip in her puppydog face, without even realizing it. It usually killed me, and I would do anything when I saw it. But she hadn't meant to do it. And that's when I did what every man in a the world should never do to an angry women.

I laughed.

It wasn't my fault or anything. It wasn't my fault she looked like a cartoon with her sad and serious puppydog face, standing at my doorway, hands on hips. If it was anyone's fault, it was her's. She could do just about anything to make me laugh. I held my stomach as my laughing turned into cackling, and I reached the point to where I couldn't stop. I knew she was probably furious at me. She hated when I never took her seriously. But come on, it was nearly impossible to take Lillian Truscott seriously. Besides, I was like one of those people who laughed in funerals. Wow. Now deosn't that sound horrible.

"I hate you Oliver Oken," she spat, coming into my room, flopping down on a bean bag chair and pouting. I didn't think her lip could go out any further. Now I'd gone and done it. I'd made her madder.

Wait. Was that a word?

"No you don't," I said after I managed to calm down. It was a fact. "I'm unhateble,"

And yes, I made that up, too.

Lilly laughed sarcastically, trying hard not to look at me because she knew she'd start to giggle earnestly, "Trust me. You're hateble...or...whatever you just said."

"First of all, don't be stealing my words, son. Second of all, you couldn't hate me if you tried. It's just impossible for you," I told her matter of factly. It was true. And we both knew it. She hated to hear the truth.

"Ok, I can count too," she exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air as she stood, "First of all, you're crazy! Second of all, your mom's making Chalet swiss for dinner and I'm gonna get to the kitchen before you!" and like the prat she was, dashed out the door before I got a chance to even get up. But me, being the Almighty Lord Oliver Oken and all, quickly caught up to her at the stairs and passed her without a single thought. It was a fact that boys were better than girls. We just told them that they were better so we wouldn't have to put up with them crying. I didn't think Lilly was capable of crying; it wasn't a Lilly thing to do, so I just hurt her feelings all the time.

Wait? Did Lilly even have feelings?

I wasn't sure, so I just kept running and snorting at the fact I was about to kick butt.

I heard her call after me, adding a few choice words into the mix, and I smiled slyly as I made it to the living room before she had. Victory was all mine. I could taste it. I was almost to the kitchen when suddenly, I realized, I'd managed to end up on the floor. And a little twit named Lilly was ontop of me, gloatting like a pig. My knees stung from the rug burn as she darted off of me so I could get up. Thanks, Sweetheart. Needless to say, she made it to the kitchen before I did.

I sulked into the room, knowing I was going to get what I probably deserved. My knees were on fire, and I was intent on getting Lilly back.

"Where have you been, Oken?" she asked casually, an evil smirk on her face. She was clearly out of breath, but was trying to hide it.

She obviously thought she was clever.

"Oh, I was just tasting the carpet over there, my dear. Sorry I'm late," I said devilishly in my fake british accent.

Somehow, British accents made everything funnier.

"Oh, darling, no. Not that! Come taste this wonderful chicken your parent's have prepared for us. It's simply devine!" Lilly caught on, her accent clearly not as good as mine. She was so predictable. But I loved it. It was nice being a psychic and guessing at what she was going to do next. I was always right.

I laughed at her impression. She thought I was laughing at how funny she was. I was. But I was also laughing at her attempt.

"I knew you were gonna do that!" I exclaimed as she stirred some kind of soup in the big pot on the stove.

"Shut up, Oken. No you didn't," She told me, punching my arm and digging into the drawers for a spoon. Fishing one out, she dipped it into the bubbling pot and took a small taste. I knew what to expect.

I started the countdown...

1...The spoon immediately crashed to the floor as her hands fled to her mouth. Which, with the way she acted, seemed like it was on fire.

"Tot! Tot!" She managed, her tongue sticking out of her mouth.

Apparently, it was hot.

Wow, didn't see that one coming.

She ran to the sink and stuck her mouth under the rushing faucet. I took this time to laugh hysterically at her, doubled over, tears coming to my eyes. I knew I was horrible for it. I knew she was mad, which made me laugh even harder. I'm horrible, I know.

"I weawy hate oo, Owiver," Lilly told me, clutching the sides of the sink. I knew she was only kidding. She would have done the same thing if it had been me.

"I really love you, Lilly Tru," I said with a smirk, as she cut her eyes at me. Her tongue sticking out, part from mocking, part from it burning still. And then I saw something I hadn't expected. And at first I was confused. Her face reddened slightly and it took me a moment to realize what I'd just said. I'd only meant it as a witty comeback. Now, it had made us both silent. That would teach me to open my big mouth.

How many different ways are there to spell 'Awkward'?

"Hey kids!" My dad said coming in, "Looks like you smelled dinner! Ha!"

There wasn't any other time I could remember that I was that happy to see my dad.

"Y...yeah...dinner!" I tried to sound excited, running a hand through my hair. Dang, it was getting long. I needed a hair cut.

"Where's Miley tonight, guys?" My dad asked, stirring the pot of soup. Lilly looked at it fearfully. The chicken breasts lay seasoned and cooling near it. My mouth watered. It was the best thing my parent's made.

"Vacation" "Grounded"

Lilly and I said at once and shot each other death looks.

"Grounded" "Vacation"

Perfect.

"Oh, I get it! She's grounded on vacation. That must suck. Poor thing," My dad said, busying himself with the last minute spices. I thanked God he was so clueless.

I made a 'Phew' sign to Lilly and she did the same. We were so smooth.

Not.

Miley was actually on a reigon tour, but we couldn't tell my dad that. I grabbed two cokes from the fridge, throwing one to Lilly who caught it beautifully. Sometimes I forgot she was a girl. I would never tell her that though. I started shaking my coke furiously and she did the same. We looked at each other and smiled, knowing what we were about to do and started counting down. I aimed for her and she aimed for me..

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

And we both popped the tops at the same time, the fizzing sound filling the kitchen. Both of us being shot by each other's coke rockets and our shirts soaked through. This 'immature' act sent us both into complete hysteria. And my father into scolding mode.

What can I say?

That's how we roll.

"Oliver Oscar Oken! Could you please warn me next time you do that? Play coke rockets outside next time! Now go find yourself and Lilly some dry clothes!" My father said, looking up from his award winning soup.

I reluctantly obeyed as Lilly helped me up from the floor we'd both been rolling on. I trudged up the staircase as she went to the bathroom to rinse the soda out of her drenched blonde hair.

I found Kiss and Bob Marley tees on my floor and slipped the one that smelled the best on. There's no telling how long 'Bob' had been molding on the floor, but Lilly was getting him.

What?

A guy has to smell good for the ladies...

Don't you people know anything?

I threw it at her face as she came out of the bathroom. It hung there for a moment, allowing the smell to reach her nose. She quickly threw it from her face as she realized what it was.

"Olivia! You're disgusting!" She squealed. "It smells like a dead animal!" She bent down and prodded it with her finger. I chuckled and scurried back into the kitchen so she couldn't throw it back in my face. Which she attempted to as it whizzed passed my head and hit the wall beside me. I heard her huff from my spot on the bar stool as she trotted up the stairs to find her own shirt.

Some boring news was on the small kitchen TV, about a earthquake or something.

Obviously nothing important.

I grabbed the remote and turned it to some cartoons, 'cause the news is overrated. Aquaman was on. My Hero. He's like the reason for my existence. The inspiration for my surfing. The reason I practically got up in the morning! New York boy's had Superman. Malibu boy's had Aquaman. That's just the way the world worked. He did a that swirling power ball thing that I'd always tried to do in the pool. It never worked. Lilly and I always tried to call dolphins in the ocean when we were younger. Needless to say, they never came.

After chugging my coke, with the stinging sensation fizzing in my nose, I sat it to the side, knocking over something near the spice rack. Well, crap. Picking up the container, I noticed the green colored spice inside. An evil smile appeared across my face. Revenge was so sweet.

"Hey, you guys! How's my little boy doing?" Mom said coming in and planting a kiss on my head. "Oo, someone needs a haircut!"

I sighed and flattened the hair on my head where she'd kissed me. She luckily didn't see the spice in my hand.

Lilly appeared through the kitchen door shortly afterwards, drowning in my old soccer jersey and her wet hair tamed in a ponytail.

"Lilly! Hey girl! Glad you're having dinner with us! Where's Miles at?" Mom asked, hugging her and giving a questioning look to her wet hair.

"She's grounded on vacation," my dad answered for us, plating the chicken and bowling the soup.

"That's strange. What'd she do?" my mother asked, curiousity spiking her voice.

"I don't know. She didn't tell me. Something she did while she was on vacation," Lilly said quickly, before I could manage a pathetic excuse. Dang, maybe I should give her more credit than I did. I mouthed a 'Thank you' to her and she smiled brightly. Too bad she was about to be frowning.

"Come and git it!" my dad exclaimed in a country voice. Please, just leave the country to Robbie Ray. I rolled my eyes and headed over to the counter where our plates sat. I hurridly unscrewed the top and poured the whole contents of the spice into her soup and watched it quickly sink to the bottom. A smile sat on my face. The stinging in my knees hadn't subsided, and Lilly was going to get what was coming to her.

"Hurry up, Olivia! You're holding up the line!" Lilly exclaimed coming over. I'd just managed to slip the container into my jeans pocket before she saw.

"Sorry, dear. How could I have been so inconsiderate!" I said, covering up my flusteredness (I made up that one, too. I think I might write a dictionary.) with that Oscar winning accent of mine. There's a reason 'Oscar's' my middle name.

Lilly only giggled and grabbed her plate. My plan was in motion.

Cue evil laugh and hand rubbing.

After we'd all taken our spots at the table and said grace, my complete attention was turned towards Lilly and her reaction. I kept looking at my phone as though I was texting someone, but really I wanted to have this whole thing recorded. Blackmail was an everyday thing with us. She completely avoided her soup, though, digging into her chicken as though she'd never eaten a day in her life. The clock on the wall passed slowly and it was well into dinner. She still hadn't touched it. Mom was trying to make small talk and asked serveral times why I was so quiet. 'Stomach ache' I mumbled so she'd finally get off my back about it. Then, that was it, I'd had enough waiting. I was never good with patience.

"I love this soup, dad!" I said, slurping it loudly for affect.

"Thanks, son," he said, finishing his chicken. "Lilly? Do you like your's?"

I love you dad.

"Oh my gosh! I hadn't even tried it! This chicken was just too good!" Lilly said in her 'talking-to-parent's' voice. My mother smiled at her as if she were an angel from above.

Please excuse me while I hurl.

She always wished Lilly was my sister, I knew. They didn't have anymore kids after me. Which could be taken either way, good or bad.

I held my breath and sat up as she took a sip. Some soup dribbled off her chin, and I saw my mother want to dab it off with her napkin, affectionately. It wasn't her place so she didn't.

"Oo! That's good, Dad!" Lilly exclaimed. She'd called him 'dad' for the longest time, since she practically lived at my house. My parent's ate that kind of stuff up. Lilly could play them like a banjo, for sure.

"Well, I'm glad you liked it, Lilly!" he said proudly as she went in for another sip.

It was four or five spoonful's in, that she began to drink more of her water. And then, she stopped eating it all together and took a big, long gulp. I personally was about to pee in my pants from keeping the laughter down.

"Dang, Lils, leave some for the fish!" I exclaimed, edging her on. She suddenly realized that I had done something. It was my doing. Her eyes narrowed. This was officially the proudest moment in my life.

"Could I be excused for a moment, please?" Lilly asked, frills and all. But she almost didn't wait for the answer before she bolted to the bathroom to drown her mouth in water.

Oliver Oscar Oken was laughing so hard, coke shot out of his nose.

And yes, I sometimes talk about myself in third person.

I was practically rolling in my seat, seeing the stunned faces of my parent's. I heard a 'clunk' noise beside me and saw the container, that had been in my pocket, on the floor. It rolled over to my mother's foot and she picked it up.

"Wasabe, Oliver! Honestly!" she shouted, reading the label.

I didn't hear her.

I was too busy laughing my guts out to care.

Yes. Ollie seems a bit harsh. But I'm writing this as if we were on the show. And there's not TONS and TONS of fluff on the show. I'm trying to make it realistic. This is how my guy friend would talk to me. There will be much more Lollie as the story continues. I plan to have almost every line from 'One Week' incorporated into this fic. I hope you liked it and LEAVE A REVIEW DEARY! No one likes a hit and run!