A/N: Welcome to Unpleasant Acquaintances, my first attempt to write fanfiction.

I owe a million thanks to by twi*soulmate, great friend and beta Dahlia Black for all her awesomeness!

Disclaimer: SM owns all things Twilight, but the plot is all mine.

Chapter 1. (Nice To Meet You) Anyway

"Bella! Bella wake up!"

"Go away Alice, I'm sleeping" I mumbled, trying to ignore my best friend and roommate who was bouncing up and down on my bed, trying to wake me.

"No Bella wake up! Seriously! He's coming today! Edward is coming!" she exclaimed while she continued her bouncing and started poking me in the ribs. I decided to give in and get up. I didn't really care about Edward, I had never met him anyway, but Alice was certainly excited that her twin brother finally was returning from Europe.

Edward had left for Europe a little over a year ago. He had gotten a scholarship from some fancy French university just before I met Alice and became her roommate. I had heard a lot (a lot!) about him from Alice and their older brother Emmett. Alice made it sound like he was the prodigal son finally returning home to the mother ship. Emmett just mainly made fun of him, stating that Edward suffered permanently from IMS (Irritable Male Syndrome).

I had no idea where Alice got all that energy from that early in the morning, she was still bouncing on my bed, but I needed coffee before I could deal with her. I walked out to the kitchen to get some, only to find Jasper, Alice's boyfriend and best friend to Edward, standing completely naked in the kitchen pouring coffee.

"Jeeez Jasper! Could you put on some clothes for once! I live here too you know," I exclaimed trying to look away and covering my eyes at the same time.

"Relax Bella, why are you always so cranky in the morning?" he laughed and handed me some coffee, clearly not bothered by the fact that he didn't have any clothes on at all.

"I like you Jasper, I really do, but I don't need to see this much of you every morning. Especially when I haven't had coffee yet," I said, taking small sips from my cup, trying to not to look at him. Why was it so difficult for him to put some clothes on before he left Alice's room? Was he opposed to clothes or something since he always walked around here naked?

Suddenly the phone rang; I reached out to answer it, still trying my best not to look at the very naked Jasper.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Good morning Bella," Dr. Cullen's friendly voice was on the other end of the line, "could you tell Alice that we'll be there in 10 minutes or so to pick her up, we're just swinging by Emmett's first. And tell Jasper that if he wants to come with us to pick up Edward, he needs to put on some clothes first," Dr. Cullen chuckled before he hung up. I really didn't want to know how Dr. Cullen knew about Jasper's aversion to clothes.

"Alice!" I shouted, "Your dad just called, they'll be here in 10 minutes."

"Enough with the yelling Bella, I'm done already, which is more than I can say about you," she said disapproving as she walked out of her room and discovered that I was still in my PJ's.

I decided to ignore her; I wasn't going to pick up the prodigal son, so I turned to Jasper:

"Dr. Cullen said that if you wanted to come along too, you had to put some clothes on. And I don't want to know how he knows that you always walk around here naked." Jasper just laughed, gave Alice a kiss and walked to her bedroom to, hopefully, get dressed. Alice raised an eyebrow, as if to ask why I wasn't getting dressed either.

"Cut it out Alice," I sighed, "I've never met Edward and I'm not going to come with the airport with you guys to pick him up. It's a family event, let it stay that way. I'm just going to stay here and get some studying done. And I'm not going to decorate the apartment either," I added. Knowing Alice, that would be her next question. Alice was all about shopping, decorating and theme parties. I really wasn't.

"Your dad said they were picking Emmett up on the way here, so they'll be here any minute," I informed Alice.

"Shit, Bella! Why didn't you say that before? Jasper, get dressed! Now! Emmett's coming!" she hissed with panic in her eyes. I could hear Jasper moving around in Alice's bedroom. Apparently threatening that Emmett was coming would make him put on clothes faster, I had to remember that.

"Really Alice, why don't you just come clean and tell Emmett you guys are dating. You have been seeing each other for months. Everyone else knows and Emmett is nothing but a big friendly teddy bear."

"Well, the friendly teddy bear will turn into a very angry grizzly when he has to defend his little sister's virtue," Alice answered, looking nervously at the door as if she was expecting Emmett to walk through it anytime.

"But he knows Jasper's here all the time, he must suspect something," I said.

"Emmett thinks I'm dating you Bella," Jasper answered from Alice's bedroom.

"Why would he think that?!" I asked, completely puzzled. That was not the answer I was expecting.

"Because I've been telling him that I come over here so much to study with you," Jasper chuckled.

"Seriously? Come on Jasper, Emmett is not stupid. You and I take none of the same classes, why would he think you're helping me study?" I was not liking the direction this conversation had taken.

"Well, that's why he thinks there's something going on between you and me," Jasper answered, sounding amused by my reaction.

"Oh come on! Is that why the last few times he's been asking me about how my studying is going, he's been dying of laughter? Seriously Jasper, thanks a lot," I said, adding as much sarcasm as possible into my voice. I so didn't need this.

"That would be why," Jasper said, returning from the bedroom, still laughing. Really, did nothing ever upset him?

Alice just rolled her eyes, grabbed a fully dressed Jasper by the hand and left the apartment to pick up her long missed twin brother.

When Alice came home again after a few hours, she was accompanied by Dr. Cullen.

"Hi Bella," he greeted me.

"Hi Dr. Cullen," I said, blushing. Dr. Cullen always made me a little nervous. He might be my best friend's dad, but he was a hot dad.

"Bella, what have I told you before? Only my patients call me Dr. Cullen, everyone else calls me Carlisle. I'm just here to pass on an invitation. Esme just sent me make sure you would come over for dinner tonight, Bella. I don't think she'll take no for an answer."

"Thanks Doct... ehm Carlisle. I'd love to." I still blushed, thankful that Emmett wasn't there too. It would be right up his alley to make fun of me getting all red faced in front of his dad.

"Great. I'll see you girls later."

"How come you're home now Alice? I thought you'd stay with your family today, hang out with Edward?" I asked, as Carlisle walked out the door.

"Bella, my brother just spent 10 hours on a plane, he's jet lagged and cranky and he didn't exactly smell like roses either. He's gone home with mom and dad to sleep and hopefully shower, and then we'll all go over there tonight. But it was so great seeing him, I really missed him," Alice said. Her eyes always lit up when she spoke of her twin brother.

I spend the rest of the day curled up on the sofa reading Gone With The Wind, getting so wrapped up in the world of Scarlet O'Hara that I completely forgot about time. I was therefore surprised when Alice came out of her room, announcing that it was time for us to get going if we wanted make it to dinner in time.

"Shouldn't we have left like 20 minutes ago?" I asked, realizing what time it was. "We were supposed to be there at 7."

"We have plenty of time, I'll even make it with minutes to spare," Alice answered, looking like she smelled a challenge, while she grabbed her car keys.

"Make that a bet, Cullen. Even you can't make the drive there in time. If I win you will not be allowed to throw a theme parties for 6 months," I laughed as we got ready to walk out the door.

"Oh you're on Swan! And if I win, you have to let me dress you up for every one of them, without complaining," Alice smirked as she got in the car, she was clearly already cooking up some evil plan. Oh joy.

Alice pulled into up in front of her parents house at exactly 6.58, she had been driving like a maniac the whole time. It was without contest the most scary car ride I had ever experienced, I was surprised we made it there in one piece. As Alice turned off the engine, she just pointed at the clock, looking incredibly smug. Right, never bet against Alice.

We were the last to arrive. Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie- Emmett's girlfriend, were already there, talking with Carlisle and a guy I assumed to be Edward.

"Come on Bella, I'll introduce you to Edward," Alice said, dragging me over to the rest of the family.

They all greeted us warmly, even Rosalie for a change. That was new.

"Nice to meet you Edward, I'm Bella, Alice's roommate," I said introducing myself. Edward just looked up, nodded briefly and continued his conversation with Emmett. That was weird, all the other Cullens were always so warm and friendly, he was just plain rude. He could at least have said hello, I wasn't expecting a big hug or something. Maybe he would be more talkative once he had something to eat. Just then Esme came out from the kitchen, announcing that dinner was on the table.

"Wait, who cooked?" Emmett asked suspiciously, eyeing his mother in the kitchen.

"Don't worry son," Carlisle stage-whispered as he got up, "I did. Your mom only made the salad."

Emmett sighed in relief. Esme was a wonderful woman with many talents, cooking was just not one of them. Carlisle however was an amazing cook, so I was just as relieved as Emmett to discover that he was the one who had made dinner. Whenever Alice and I had been invited over for dinner, and Esme did the cooking, we always had to make a stop at whatever fast food restaurant we passed on the way home. Esme really was terrible in the kitchen, but that didn't prevent her from making an effort.

The dinner conversation flowed easily, Edward seemed very talkative around his family, telling all about France. He had the most amazing velvet voice and while listening to his stories I got a chance to get closer look at him. Like the rest of his family, he was very good looking. He had thick messy bronze colored hair and the most beautiful green emerald eyes I'd ever seen. I decided to try to talk to him again, hoping I would be more successful in my attempt this time.

"So Edward, what exactly was it you were studying in France? Alice just said it had something to do with music," I asked.

"It did," he answered short. He had a weird look in his eyes, like he was mad at me or something. He couldn't be mad at me, he didn't know me.

"Edward was accepted to a music academy in Paris, he's a very talented musician," Esme answered, looking proudly at Edward.

"Speaking of studies Bella," Emmett said turning towards me with a smug look in his eyes, "how is your studying coming along?" Did he just emphasize the word coming? This can't be good.

Now knowing that he was probably not talking about my studies, but my fake affair with Jasper, I couldn't help but blush. Naturally that just made Emmett tease me even more, I really wished Jasper hadn't told me about this. Carlisle eyed Emmett suspiciously, he wasn't used to his oldest son taking such a interest in other peoples studies. Emmett just continued:

"You sure have been hitting the books hard lately Bella. I bet it's been helping getting Jasper's G.P.A up. How are your classes Jasper? They sound really hard."

"Jasper!" I hissed, "Can I talk to you in the kitchen for a minute? Now!" Jasper hurried after me, followed by booming laughter from Emmett.

"You have got to tell him! I already can't stand it, and it's only been going on for a day, you've gotta tell him," I hissed, once we were in the kitchen where they others couldn't hear us.

"It's just because I told you that he thinks you and I are dating, you didn't mind before."

"That's cause I didn't know before! I do now and there's no way I'll be able to stand this."

"Really Jasper," Rosalie said, coming in to the kitchen, "just get out of the non-gay closet and stop using Bella as your beard."

"So you think he won't mind?" Jasper asked her.

"Oh he'll mind. You've been sleeping with his little sister for months and you didn't tell him about it. He'll kill you Jasper." For once Rosalie looked genuinely amused, but Jasper just looked equally nervous. That did not seem promising, Jasper was never nervous.

I imagined myself getting stuck in a fake relationship with Jasper for years. The longer it went on the harder it would be to get out of, and he clearly wasn't keen on telling Emmett about it now after what Rosalie had just said.

The rest of the evening went on very much like it had at dinner: Emmett continued to make fun of me and Edward continued to look angry at me and ignored whatever question I tried to ask him. He should have been named Assward instead, that would have fitted his personality better, clearly the guy was an ass. A good looking ass, but an ass nonetheless.

Driving home, Alice couldn't stop talking about Edward and how great he was. I didn't have the heart to tell her that for once I agreed with Emmett. Edward really did permanently suffer from IMS.

End note: So... What do you think?