The Vagina Workshop

Chapter 1

"Maura, I can't believe that I let you drag me to this." Jane grumbled as she took a seat next to Maura in a dim and somewhat crowded auditorium.

"Jane, you promised that I would get to choose the next event. Try to enjoy yourself. After all, I didn't voice a single complaint during the last THREE Red Sox games that I attended with you."

"Yea, well, that's because Red Sox games are fun. Listening to women talk about their vaginas is the opposite of fun."

"Really, Jane. Maura scoffed at the absurdity of Jane's statement. "That is hardly what this performance is about. The Vagina Monologues pertain to an array of problems affecting women all over the world. The author, Eve Ensler, is an amazing woman who is leading the movement to end violence against women. The proceeds from our tickets are being donated to the local rape crisis center here in Boston."

Jane immediately felt guilty. It was the kind of guilt that only Maura could shame her with. "I'm sorry, Maur. I didn't realize this was gonna benefit rape victims. I'll be good, I promise." Jane offered Maura a soft smile, which was promptly and affectionately returned.

Jane made it through the show without so much as a peep of negativity. She actually found herself enjoying the majority of the monologues. Well, most of them anyways. Halfway through the show, one woman in the show began talking about her inability to have an orgasm, which led her to attend a "vagina workshop." Jane's uncomfortable posture during this monologue did not go unnoticed by Maura.

After the show the two women decided to walk the few blocks from the theatre to the dirty robber to have a couple of drinks to cap off their evening. Jane was unusually quiet, which prompted Maura to break the uncomfortable silence. "So what did you think?"

"I don't know, Maur. It was okay I guess...better than I thought it would be anyways."

"See! I told you it wasn't going to be that bad" Maura beamed. "Which monologue was your favorite?"

Jane struggled to recall the name of a monologue that didn't make her slightly uncomfortable. "I don't know... 'My Angry Vagina' was pretty funny. What about you?"

Maura smiled at the fact that Jane was actually allowing a discussion about the performance. "Oh, yes, that one has always been a favorite of mine! I particularly like 'The Vagina Workshop'"

Jane froze. "I don't know Maura. I didn't really like that one very much."

Maura gave Jane a questioning look. "Really? I feel that that monologue is particularly important. Research suggests that 10 to 15 percent of American woman have NEVER had an orgasm. Fifty to 75 percent of women who have orgasms need clitoral stimulation and are unable to have an orgasm through intercourse alone."

Jane slowed her pace and attempted to swallow the lump that was forming in her throat. "Wow. That's a lot. Why...do you think that is?"

Maura was delighted that Jane was encouraging her "google mouth". "Well, research has identified several possible reasons, but the most common reasons include sexual anxiety and fear of letting go."

"Oh", Jane softly replied. "Well, it isn't really that big of a deal then I guess. I mean if it's that common...—"

Maura gasped. "Oh, Jane! It is certainly a big deal. Can you imagine never experiencing a vaginal orgasm?"

Jane was really beginning to feel uncomfortable now. "Yea. I can actually."

Maura sped up her pace and whipped around in front of Jane, bringing her to a screeching halt. "Jane, are you telling me that you've never been brought to orgasm through vaginal intercourse?"

Jane's frustration with the topic was beginning to grow. "No, Maura. I haven't. Which is totally fine, by the way. I do just fine alone...just me and my silver bullet"

Maura's eyes began to widen at the realization that, not only had Jane never experienced a vaginal orgasm, but it was likely that Jane had also never had an orgasm during sex. "Jane, have you ever been brought to orgasm by a sexual partner?" she whispered so as not to embarrass Jane.

Jane was now visibly uncomfortable, not to mention extremely embarrassed. "No, Maura. No. I haven't. It's fine, though. I mean I guess I can identify with not being able to let go. I just...have trouble with that. It's fine though. Jane tried to shrug it off as she sidestepped Maura so they could continue walking. The truth was that this isn't the first time that Jane had considered the subject. In fact, it had caused her some problems in previous relationships. Well...until she learned how to fake an orgasm anyways.

Maura quickened her pace catch to up with Jane. "Has that caused any problems for you...with previous partners?"

Jane sighed, knowing that Maura would only change the subject when she felt that she had an adequate understanding of her situation. "Not always. I mean, but Casey is a military guy, so he's trained to detect...you know...deception and ...stuff.

"And stuff? ", Maura cocked her head to the side, giving Jane a questioning look.

Jane let out another sigh, clearly ready for this conversation to end. "Casey can sometimes tell when I'm faking an orgasm...but that's the only problem I've ever really had I guess."

Maura, being the over-achieving expert in human anatomy that she is (and, of course, failing to understand the socially appropriate boundaries of friendship), decided to offer her expertise to assist Jane with her devastating problem. "Jane, I could help you, you know. I am an expert in human anatomy and I feel confident that I could bring you to orgasm.

Jane's eyes grew wide as an unsettling twinge took up residence in her stomach. "Maura?!" Her shout shrunk to a whisper. "Do you realize that you're proposing that we have sex?! That is so NOT something that best friends do."

Maura's smile fell as she began to reason with Jane about the appropriateness of her proposal. "I'm merely proposing that I, as your best friend, assist you learning how to achieve climax with a sexual partner. You already feel more comfortable with me than anyone else in your life, so it would make sense for me to be the one to help you learn how to let go. You might not feel quite so vulnerable if it was just me as opposed to a sexual partner that you may be trying to impress. You already trust me, Jane. Besides, it is no different than young girls practicing how to kiss with one another in high school.

Jane scoffed. "It is SO different than girls practicing kissing on each other in high school, Maura. Besides, I never did that. And it's not that big of a deal, anyways. I don't need anyone to have an orgasm. I do it just fine on my own."

Maura was relentless. "Jane, that is the equivalent of attempting to give yourself a proper back massage. It can hardly be entirely pleasurable when you are the one doing all of the work. Besides, a vaginal orgasm is a completely different and equally important type of orgasm. In my opinion, it can strengthen the bond that you have with your partner." Maura was reluctant to back down, but she could tell that Jane was approaching her limit. "Jane, just promise me that you will at least consider my offer."

Jane knew that this conversation would continue if she didn't appease Maura with the promise to consider her ridiculous proposal. "Okay, Maur. I'll think about it."