I had absolutely no idea where I was. In fact, there were so many questions going on in my mind, but one was more important than all the others: Where is home..? And it struck me immediately-I had no home. And even if I did, it was gone.
I'm an American otaku (raised by a negligent Japanese mother) who picked up enough Japanese from anime to be able to carry out some form of casual communication. However, I never thought that I would actually be in Japan. But that was the only thing I knew about this place, that I was in Japan... I don't even remember why I ran away, or why I crossed an ocean to come to this place.
But it hurt too much to think. For one, I'm starving. Living in a first world country kept me well fed and I always knew when my next meal was coming. I've never experienced what true starvation was like. On top of all that, my throat burned like there was an inferno inside it. I wasn't sure if it was infection or dehydration. I finalized it to be, indeed, dehydration due to the lightheadedness. Now that I know, my top priority ever since I arrived in Japan was food and water. I had no money and stealing would only add to my problems. I tried begging, but it didn't work out as I'd hoped. Whenever I walked around in the streets and cities in my dirty clothes and a tornado of knots I call hair, people would either walk faster or roll up their car windows. However, one day I was lucky enough to meet a nice man who gave me 2000 (19.63 USD) yen. I couldn't remember much of his features without triggering a migraine, but his eyes stuck out among all the others. They were droopy and tired but he looked awake, they were calm yet fierce, and above all, they were a radiant emerald green.
I wish to thank him, in whatever way I can, with what little money I have. I've asked around in every place I thought possible and I'm about ready to give up. I decided to ask one more building, a large monastery.
I knock on the hollow wood and wait for the door to open... I knock again, figuring I must be quiet and used my fists instead of my knuckles.
When the door did open, revealing a large man in a black robe, I was shy at first, "E-excuse me... but by any chance d-do you know a man with the most brilliant green eyes?" the man raised an eyebrow.
"You're going to have to be more specific, ma'am." I look to the ground and try to cry, but no tears come out. If he knew who I was talking about, he would immediately remember his beautiful eyes. I'll never be able to repay that kind man, "Ma'am," he starts, "Don't cry, come inside. I'll try to remember, and I'll even ask my friends if they know. Does that sound good?" I nod but I know they won't know my savior. No one does. I impulsively wipe away your tears but nothing was there. The man notices this, "You're dehydrated, aren't you?"
Inside, it seems that the whole family who owns the monastery was eating their dinner. An older man with glasses sat at the head, a teenage looking boy who also had glasses had a face riddled with beauty marks sat next to him, and three other priests sat on the other side. There was one empty chair on the other side of the two four-eyes. One lone chair was left next to the missing person.
"Everyone, we have a guest. Would you like to tell us your name, miss?" said the man who greeted me at the door.
"You have a beautiful name, Miyazaki. Please, join us for dinner~" said the man at the head with excitement. I assume he's the head of the monastery since no one is opposing his offer. But I didn't care about that anymore. I feel like my body is starting to devour itself, but the sight of all this food made my heart do a backflip. And the kind man is offering me to enjoy it! That made my stomach do one. And I knew I was going to eat as much as I can.
"Thank you very much sir. May I ask your name?" I made the mistake of not asking the green-eyed man his name and I won't do it again.
"Why don't we all introduce ourselves, eh?" he starts, "My name is Shiro Fujimoto, head of this monastery. This boy on the left is one of my sons, Yukio..." that's it. That's all I needed to hear, so I zoned out until you heard, "Now then, may I ask why you have come?" Fujimoto asks with grin of curiosity.
"U-um. I came here to ask if.. If any of you know a man with the most brilliant green eyes?" more memories of him come back to me. "He has purple hair and he wears a tophat! He met me in a pink limo, and... um... Ooh! He had this weird hamster on his hat!"
"Slow down, Miyazaki! Please talk to me about this man when dinner is over. I think I might have the answer that you're looking for." he winks and my face lights up. I've finally met someone who might actually know my hero!
I hear the door slam a few seconds later and in walks in a boy, probably the same age as Yukio, but his face was littered with bandages. "I'm ho-" he stops in his tracks when he sees me. "What'd you do now, you old fart?" he asks as quietly as he could, which wasn't nearly quiet enough.
"Nothing, Rin. What happened to you? Did you get in a fight again?" he says exasperatedly.
"Those assholes were shooting pigeons with crossbows. How much lower could they be? I mean honestly, it's like they're trying to piss me off!" he folds his arms and sits in the last empty chair. He looks at me turning slightly red, "Hi, miss... I'm Rin Okumura. It's okay if you call me Rin, hehe."
"Hi, Rin. I take it you're quite the brawler?" you reply.
"Well..." he scratches his cheek, blushing more and looking away. "I- uh.."
"Heh, you're kinda cute. My name's Kaede Miyazaki. But it's okay if you call me Yuka~" I wink at him. I'm really starting to enjoy teasing Rin already, the poor boy. But really, he is cute...
"C-c-c-c-cute? Y-you think I'm cute?!" he sounds happy but confused.
"Why not? Your eyes are beautiful and you have a cute little smile. And when you blush, awww." well, I'm not lying.
"I think that we, uh, we should be friends!" he says, blushing even more furiously.
"F-friends?" I've never had a real friend before, they've all given up on me or never spoke to me again. "I, uh..." Crap, now I'm blushing! "I wouldn't mind..." I take a sip of Fujimoto's sake, my eyes averted from Rin's face.
"Really? That's great! Heh, you wanna go do something together as friends after dinner?" he's blushing so hard it's irresistible not to laugh, Mr. Fujimoto already has. But still, I already had plans from before to meet with Mr. Fujimoto. I feel bad, but it will have to wait.
"I'm really sorry Rin, I wish I could. I don't have money or good clothes. My body can't take much. And plus, I need to talk to someone right after dinner. I'll try later today, okay? Maybe we just walk together in the park?" meeting my hero is now my top priority. Rin will just have to wait.
"Oh..." his chest drops. "Okay..." he doesn't say a word after that.
When dinner's over, I go to the bathroom. I haven't used a clean toilet in so long, it was something I'm really grateful for. A quick look in the mirror, and I drop self-confidence. I can't meet your hero like this! My deep-black hair looks like a racoon. My clothes are dirty and the perfect body that took me years to achieve was gone and was replaced with an unattractive, scrawny little girl. I need to talk to Mr. Fujimoto about this...
Back downstairs, I look for Mr. Fujimoto, only to find him still sitting at the isolated dinner table.
"Mr. Fujimoto-"
"You can call me Shiro. No need to be formal!" he interrupted as sipped more of his leftover sake.
"Uh, Shiro, do you think you could help me one more time?" I ask awkwardly. He leans closer in and puts down his sake.
"Yes?"
"I want to look better for my green-eyed hero." I say without hesitation. He shrugs.
"I know this man. I can bring him to you if you'd like. He'd take care of you, it's just his somewhat kind nature."
"Somewhat? But never mind that, what's his name?" I need to know. I'm so impatient and Shiro probably knows it.
"His name is Mephisto Pheles. He is the preceptor of True Cross Academy, the school Yukio will be going to." Mephisto Pheles... my eyes light up and my heartbeat quickens. I finally know the name of your hero, the kindest man I have ever met, the only man who gave me the needed money without asking for anything in return, especially in a way that doesn't violate my body.. This Mephisto... he is the one person that I feel I could trust. "He has agreed to come tomorrow night, so until then why don't you stay with us?" but I felt you were not worthy of such a kind gesture. I want to see Mr. Pheles today, tonight.
"I'm sorry Shiro, but I can't accept. I have to look for him now... because I don't know if I'll still be here tomorrow night..." I feel tears beginning to form but I hold my head high and keep my voice steady. "I have to find him tonight!"
"Like hell you're going alone. Kaede, why don't you talk to Rin about this? He really likes you, you know. Why don't you two search for Mephisto? I can tell you can't read Hiragana, Katakana, or Kanji, so bring him along. He'll be a great help, plus it'd be a lot safer. And trust me, he really is a sweet boy with a big heart." he raises his voice and scared to protest any longer, I ask for Rin's room. Shiro points to a hallway on the right and I see him in his bed, sprawled out and tired. His room wasn't anything to brag about. It wasn't that large but it was definitely cozy. Clothes were on the floor. They were basically in every place but his closet. His walls had nothing on them and his windows were open letting in fresh air. I gently knock on Rin's open door to let him know that I was coming in.
"Listen, Rin, I'm really sorry about holding off our plans, and now I'm changing them too. I hope you don't mind." I apologize, almost feeling sympathy for the lonesome boy. I had been like him, after all. I know exactly what it's like. He gets up and faces me.
"No, Kaede, I wouldn't mind. So, where is it you plan to go?" he's excited again, that's a relief. I inhale and straighten my posture.
"To True Cross Academy to meet the preceptor, Mr. Mephisto Pheles." he looks at me and raises and eyebrow. He goes back to the same sprawled out fashion he was in before.
"Why don't you ask my kid brother about that. He's going to the stupid school anyway..." he's bored again, "He's in the room right next to here."
"Rin, I wasn't done yet. I need your help." he stops and turns his face to me.
"I'm listening..."
"I'm sure you've noticed that I'm a complete mess. Can you help me go back to my former self before I meet Mr. Pheles?" I ponder.
"Well, I wouldn't mind... But what is it with this Pheles guy? Why is he so important to you?" I smile, remembering that day. I decide to explain to Rin what exactly happened.
"It was so hot...I wanted to just lay on the sidewalk until I died, it was just too much to deal with. I walked around the city to find a spot that the sun didn't touch, panting and cursing God for not helping me these past months I ran away from home. Heh, I'm an American girl who crossed an ocean to be here. And I have no idea why. But I pressed on, I just had a nagging feeling in the back of my head telling me to live as long as I can. And now I know why. I was near a small convenient store and I could smell ramen. My body couldn't take much longer and I passed out. I don't remember much, but no one had come to help me. I was just laying there like I was invisible. And then, I woke up in a man's arms. He was looking in my eyes and was very worried. He whispered into my ears, 'It's okay... You're okay...' and I passed out again. I was still in his arms. He didn't leave me, instead he had stayed to comfort me, until the sun had set. He offered me water and gave me food. He then gave me a 2000 yen bill and told me it again: 'It's okay... You're okay...' and he just left. He never asked for anything in return. He just smiled at me before he got in his car. And that was it. I waited there, everyday until today at the same hours in hopes of finding my green-eyed hero. He never came back." I giggle, sitting closer to Rin, "Mr. Pheles saved my life, Rin." he's blushing again, "The world can be cruel... but it's also very beautiful. Don't you agree...?"
"Y-yes it is. But how about we get you ready for your meet with Mr. Pheles?" I smile and I want to cry so bad.
"I would love to, Rin." A lone tear makes its way down my cheek. "You all... are the kindest people... I have ever met..." I can't hold it back anymore and burst out in tears.
"Hey! Kaede, calm down!" you feel arms wrap around your body. They're so warm... they feel so good...and I can hear a soothing noise. The sound of Rin's heartbeat. It's such a nice feeling, I want to stay this way forever.
It's so familiar the only thing it's missing is...
"It's okay...You're okay..." Rin whispers. He doesn't feel bashful any longer. He loves this feeling too. I bury my head in his chest and curl up like a small child. He lessens his grip little by little. Then, he finally lets go. I grab his hands.
"N-no... Rin...p-please I don't want to be lonely anymore..." I long to be loved. I look into his eyes, tears soaking my face. "P-please don't leave me..." I wrap his arms around myself instead, too impatient to wait for him to react. "I've n-never had a f-friend as great as you, Rin."
"S-sorry, Kaede..." Rin mumbled and he held me closer and tighter. My tears soaked his shirt, but he didn't seem to care at all. He just held me even tighter. It certainly was nice, and neither of us let go for a long time. You saw the cross that Shiro has hanging off his glasses swing by the doorway. Was he spying on us? I ask myself.
I was the one to pull away this time, and although Rin held a firm grasp, he let go. I see that his shirt is soaked with my tears and I laugh. "Hah, look at your shirt, Rin! It's soaked!" I point. He picks up the collar of his shirt and grins.
"I don't really care. But are you okay now?"
"I think I'll be stable the rest of the night. But, uh, sorry about the shirt. Anyway,-"
"Kaede." he interrupts you.
"Oh, um, what is it, Rin?"
"You won't run away to find this Pheles fellow, will you?" he sounds uneasy and looks me straight in the eye.
"Rin? Why would I run away? What's more, why would I run away without my only friend?" I hold onto my other arm, which has become considerably thin.
Rin scoffs, "You said you would when you talked to my old man. Listen to me, Kaede. It's dangerous to be alone at night. I've seen things happen to people who didn't take my old man's warning seriously. They were all driven by a sense of purpose. Please, Kaede, don't join them." I'm taken aback. I drop my head.
I mumble, "I've seen them too..."
"Y-you have?!" Rin sounds confused...
"They're terrifying... A-and t-they won't leave me alone!" I won't cry again. I knew that crying meant vulnerability. I still don't know if I could trust Rin or Shiro or Yukio. "I've tried everything I could. And after Mr. Pheles helped me, I didn't get any nightmares and nothing tried to hurt me for a few days. D-do you think it's all in my head?"
"It isn't." Rin takes my hands, "We can go together. Tonight. My kid brother's shown me where True Cross is before, and now I'll show you. But I don't know if we can get in..."
"I don't care." the swing of the cross was there again, then a foot. It was Shiro, grinning. So he was spying!
"My, you two certainly are impatient. But if this is what you wish, Kaede, I will do it. I assume it's safe to trust you?" I nod and he snickers, "Then let's go~" he starts, "I'm bringing Yukio!" he struts out of the door as he calls Yukio's name. I wonder if he had too much sake.
You, Shiro, Rin and Yukio prepare for our departure and as I close the door, I could hear both Shiro and Yukio muttering words, maybe wards? Rin takes my side and Shiro and Yukio lead the way. Since they were silent, only Rin and I were talking. We talked about life in America and how much it could suck and vise versa. I had to take a bus, then walk about two miles to reach True Cross. But I didn't care, and as I got closer and closer, my heart quickened and sweat beads rolled down my face.
Shiro surprised me by stopping by a house and dropping you off. It was owned by a woman, possibly a close friend of Shiro. She gladly accepted me and because Rin didn't want to wait forever, as he put it, he tagged along. She started by letting me take a shower. I couldn't remember when the last time you took a shower was; and now that I think about it, I couldn't help but wonder why Rin accepted me in his arms and held me so close. I should've smelt terrible and yet, he still didn't let go. I truly was surrounded by kind people. I started with my hair first. You let it soak so that it was somewhat easier to clean. Then, I applied shampoo and conditioner and lathered it. I was grateful that I could clean my body. I washed it three times before finally stopping the running water. I took the towel that was hanging in a little rack by the door and wrapped it tightly at my breasts. The woman told me to go to the second room on the left, which was where a new change of clothes were waiting.
She laid out clothes that looked expensive. She left a note:
These are clothes that I have grown out of. They look like they're your size. Please, I want you to have them. Don't worry about the price.
- Kotomi Uzuima
Yes, I truly am surrounded by affectionate people. I first put on the white shirt. It hugged my curves in a way that made me look like I actually had my old body back. There were pads where your breasts were and made them slightly bigger. The red leather jacket complemented the shirt nicely. Then, I put on a short skirt that went a few centimeters above my knees. For the chilly early autumn weather, there were moderately thick knee socks and flats. But this wasn't me... I certainly couldn't afford all of this with only 2000 yen to also pay for food, so I took off the jacket and the skirt. I replaced it with the tattered shorts and the muddy Converse I had when I met Mr. Pheles. This still looks fine, so I head to the living room and refused the makeup Miss. Uzuima offered. She blow dried my hair and put it in a messy braid. I was talking to Rin most of this time, about how nervous I was about meeting my green-eyed hero. He didn't reply like he did earlier, almost like he was envious that I care for a man I barely know.
I look in the mirror, satisfied with my look and meet Shiro and Yukio while I held Rin's hand (b-but like friends!). Shiro tells me that whenever he was busy with work, he would have Ms. Uzuima babysit Rin and Yukio. She seemed like such a nice lady, I would love to talk to her again.
The school campus was huge. It was more like a town in itself! And I was so excited, I smiled from ear to ear.
The four of us met two officers and let us in without asking names or IDs, which was a good sign. After running up staircase after staircase with the others trailing behind, I finally make it to a massive door where Shiro stops me.
"Are you ready to meet Mephisto, Kaede?" he asks me.
"Yes! Yes, I've never been more ready in my entire life!" I say quietly. I want to surprise Mr. Pheles! He motions me to stay behind him and I do. Rin stays behind. My heart feels like it's about to burst when I hear that same beautiful voice,
"Shiro! It's been a while~" Mr. Pheles says comically.
"Mephisto, the guest that made me invite you to dinner tomorrow grew impatient. She's here."
"Well, I do have many admirers. Where is the girl?" he gets out of his seat when I step out. His eyes widen and my heart leaps out of my throat.
"Mr. Pheles... I-it really is you." I get closer to him and his eyes follow my every movement. "Mr. Pheles..." I tear up again. I just hope he'll take me seriously after my little scene.
Mr. Pheles throws you a toothy grin, "I never thought I'd see you again, miss."