Red
A/N: If you squint you might see Kakashi/Genma, and I'll admit I reaaaaaalllly wanted to go there because that's freaking hot, but I'm just testing the waters with this one. I've never written Genma before, or anything Naruto really apart from a couple KakaIru fics, so give me thoughts? :) Hope you enjoy! I know it's rambly, sorry, that's just how I write best. D:
Genma likes the feeling of his skin splitting open because it reminds him that he bleeds red. He tells himself that to bleed is to be human and he's just as unclean as anybody else. He's a human that kills other humans when other humans tell him to, like a robot or a drone, just following the orders of heroes. One day, if he kills enough and bleeds enough, he might be a hero too. Like his captain, respected and admired, because that man did enough of his duty to leave it all behind him. Nobody sees him, because his face is always behind a mask, but even though he could be hiding a plague of nightmares and evil things and bleedingbleedingbleeding, he's a champion so it's okay. Genma should wear a mask. Genma wishes he could hide it all, but Genma's eyes give everything away, and he needs those to see when he brings a kunai to another human throat. So instead he chews on senbon as his gimmick (only heroes have gimmicks), and learns enough to use them well in battle – murder – and makes them dance through the necks of enemies.
It was okay when his captain was here. Another soul to leach on to when the stress of the job became too much. He has Raidou, sure, but Raidou's never been the same since then, and Hayate is gonegonedead with the wind. His captain would understand why Genma needs to bleed and kill and he would be there at Genma's back, because his captain was his friend. He was supposed to be his friend.
Genma... Genma was running short on friends.
"Captain, my captain..." he whispers to the sky at night, and he clenches his eyes and sees blood red, because he's stabbed a senbon in to his hand over and over and it won't stop shaking – it's just a flesh wound, why won't it stop shaking? He's got grit under his fingernails and he knows he should probably clean it out. They ache because he's dragged them in to his thighs over and over and over again, and the skin, it's stuck underneath. They smell like death, these hands that have killed hundreds of enemies but god, he thinks, were they all just that? Collateral damage, that's what leaders say – sometimes one innocent has to fall to save ten, but they add up over time.
Genma killed a little boy tonight.
Collateral.
He found a deep, dark spot to hide in the forest, and he's been here for a few hours, all dressed in black and white (stained it's all stained), so he's not quite sure how his captain finds him. But suddenly where there was the sky there is Captain and he brings himself to attention, forcing himself to stand with his bloody hands at his side. "Genma..." Captain says, and he grabs a hold of his arm. His eye is locked on to the other man and it's so red and painful it's amazing.
Genma falters beneath the stare and he slides to his knees, his hands are tight on Captain's waist and shitshitshitshit now his uniform is stained. It doesn't stand out like it does on Genma because Captain only wears black and green now like the rest of the soldiers (monsters) who have earned their freedom. Genma wishes he could be free, but even without the secrets he's still just a demon. Demons kill little boys. His eyes will show every little evil thing that he did and so he should just take them out now, while there's still time, nobody will know. He removes his hands from his captain and takes the senbon in to them instead and he's swinging his arm up so fast he won't even see it coming. The last thing he'll see is his captain, his hero, the man he wishes he could be.
"Genma!" he yells and he slams the hand away just in time, but it nicks his cheek anyway and now there's blood falling to his lips and it tastes like sin.
Genma makes a strangled noise in his throat and tries again, but Captain is faster this time and he's got him pinned down to the ground and Genma's screaming, crying tears that look like blood. Captain looks lost, and just watches him, and even though Genma struggles it's really not much of an effort to hold him down. He left so long ago but he's still stronger than Genma because he's a hero. A leader.
Genma is just a villain.
"Captain..." he mumbles, finally, and it hurts because he's been screaming so long. Captain's hands are pushing Genma's down in to the dirt and they're covered in Genma's blood. "I'm falling," he says, and it's like the sky is folding in on him, but that last thing he sees is swirling red.
Genma wakes up in a hospital bed and he feels like shit, but the window is open and there's a light breeze that seems to tell him he's home. There's a man sleeping on a chair next to him, and Genma's hands start to shake because his Captain is waiting for him (that's what heroes do, he thinks), and he doesn't deserve anything from this man. This conqueror of demons. The man wakes up because he must have sensed he was being watched, he's so amazing, and his red eye is masked now, but the other focuses in on Genma. He's not sure what he sees there. It can't be pity because Genma deserves nothing like that from this man, but it's close, so close, and Genma wonders why this man saved him.
"Because," the man says, and Genma didn't realise he said anything at all. "I don't leave friends behind."
Genma thinks the man is smiling, and he wants to smile backs but it hurts so much, so he closes his eyes instead in a slow acknowledgement of the statement. "Will you help me out of here, Kakashi?" He asks quietly, and Kakashi's eyes widen because he knows Genma's not referring to the hospital but to the darkness and the terror and the blood red. He nods and takes Genma's hand (it's all bandaged now yet still shaking), and Genma hopes he can be a hero someday too.