Lord of the Rings spoof
Chapter 1
In the beginning there were nineteen rings of power made. Three were given to the Elves, the blonde, yet wisest, of the dwellers with the incredible ears. Seven were given to the race of Dwarves, dwellers of the underground. And finally, nine were given to the race of men, the most gullible of them all.
But secretly another ring was made by the evil overlord Sauron, forged in the fires of Mount Doom and into it he poured his anger, malice and his love for teddy bears.
One by one, the free peoples of Lower-middle Earth fell to the power of the one ring and its army of teddy bears.
Eventually the free people of Lower-middle Earth got very peeved and gathered together an army of Elves and Men to fight Sauron and his army on the slopes of mount Doom. Things were going well until Sauron showed his ugly face and single-handedly wiped the dust off Mount Doom with them.
Elendil, the King of Gondor, charged at Sauron trying to smite him with his incredibly long and pointy sword, but Sauron threw him aside, the sword breaking beneath him as he fell. Using the broken sword, Isildur cut the ring from the hand of Sauron, vanquishing the Dark Lord.
Isildor picked up the one ring, writing on it read in Elvish as; one ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, one ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.
The ring passed to Isildor, who strangely developed a love for teddy bears, and made Gondor great, but the ring betrayed him, and passed to the hands of Gollum after a thousand years of lying low. It poisoned Gollum's mind for five hundred years but then in turn it abandoned him also and fell into the hands of a certain Hobbit…