Summery: A boy looks for innocence and sanity in four strangers.
I remember the day that I met them. At the time, I was only helping them to ease my guilt at almost letting her die. It was not until years later that I realized how much their presence impacted me. A young boy's foolishness, I guess.
"What? What is your name again?"
The question, addressed to me, had the unmistakable feeling of disbelief in it. The man who asked it, a person in his fifties with large grew eyebrows, stared at me.
"Torin Uzoma." I hissed, not pleased with how the day was going. I wanted to add in a "Mefucker" but I didn't.
The man raised his eyebrows once more, but said nothing, turning to the computer desk, typing keys.
"And the full name on the account is-?" Now he was just pissing me off. "Torin Nadav Shira Zinan Uzoma."
"That's a long name." He had this look of superiority. The smug kind that made you want to smack him and break his nose. My fingers curled into a fist in my pocket.
"Yes it is."
I said nothing more, and the man took the hint. He turned to the computer once more, his eyes critically scanning over his work. Once pleased, he pushed out of his chair and went to the printers where a piece of paper slipped out. He scanned it one more time, than came over to me.
"All done. When you need the money, just go to one of the machines and press in your number." He handed a slip of paper over the counter.
I grabbed it, turning on my heels to walk out of the office. I did not say goodbye.
When I reached the front of the bank, the freezing cold bite into my skin reminding me of my mistake of forgetting my hat that morning. Cursing, my pulled my hood over my head. It did not help much, but anything was better than nothing in this weather. It was the middle of winter, a season that seemed to freeze time still. The streets and houses all around me were gray and lifeless. Nothing but the wind had the will to move.
I hate winter, always have, always will. The stillness of it all is uncomfortable, like the whole world is holding its breath for something to happen that never does.
My feet are on autopilot, and I began my trip back to my house, 20 minutes away on foot. I assumed the walk was going to be very uneventful. After all, it always was before.
The road that I had to walk along hardly ever had any cars, after all, hardly anyone ever came to this god-for-saken town. It was the kind of town with the 3 Es- everyone knows everything about everyone. The actual town was founded some one hundred fifty years ago because of the gold craze. It was assumed that it would grow into a prosperous city like some of the other boomers, especially with the mines that went deep. After all, it was a good place for a city-by a sea and a river, in between two large cities, four seasons, and mild weather for most of the year.
However, bad things befell the city which sent it into a slump that it has never been able to climb out of. The gold turned out to be false, the mines were good for a few decades but soon began to decline, eventually closing down. A highway was built a few miles away from town, so people bypassed the whole place altogether, no matter how big the advertising billboards were.
A few years before I was born, a curse came disguised as a blessing. One of the major companies of the city to the north of us came down and said they wanted to build one of their factories here. Many people were thrilled; the mayor, who's corrupt city might have a chance to redeem itself, the people laid off from the mines, everyone. After the project began, however, it backfired. The factory did not take any of the town's people, instead filling it up with their own employees. And we had no idea what the factory actually was for. That was very well classified, with government papers and other shit to back it up when people got suspicious.
In all, the town turned into a fucking wasteland, with the factory dominating the skyline. Adults turned to alcohol to ease their pain; kids turned to drugs and sex to ease their loneness. It was all one big giant circle of shit.
And I was stuck here. I hated it more than I hated winter.
With all of these things floating in and out of my mind, I almost missed them.
At first, my eyes were set on my feet, making sure I did not step on any ice. A voice woke me from my comatose state. I glanced up once, than had to glance again to make sure my eyes were not playing some sort of trick. That's happened before, when I was high. But not today.
I saw Sakura first or, since I did not know her name at the time, it was just some strange girl in stupid clothes. She looked really out of place, standing in the middle of the road like that. I remember thinking, 'She's pretty'. Indeed, she was. Green eyes, light brown hair, fair skin. She was rubbing her hands up and down over her bare arms, shivering.
I was so surprised at seeing her I did not see the car until it was about twenty feet away from her. Of course the one day there is someone in the middle of the road a car comes.
My mouth turned dry in an instant. The girl did not seem to hear the car and did not move. The idiot driving the truck was not inclined to slow down, and only honked the horn in an attempt to get her out of the street. It could have changed lanes, but that would have put it at a danger for swerving. At the sound of the honk, the girl swung her head around and screamed.
I closed my eyes and turned away quickly, not wanting to see the poor girl get run over. The next two seconds were the fucking scariest of my life; my mind envisioned the gruesome scene before as much as I tried not to think of it. Her frail body hitting the dashboard...flipping over the top...crashing down on the snow in a bloody mess, her pretty body sprawled out with her limbs all broken and bloody. The screech of a car reached my ears, her voice suddenly cut off, than the sound of tires burning rubber, speeding up...
I kept my eyes closed, thinking, 'Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, he did not stop, he did not stop, oh god, oh god, oh god.' She was dead. I was sure of it. The car was so close, and she did not move! The moment I turn my head around, there will be her body, the red blood staining the snow, spread out like the small animals that met the same fate-
"I'm fine, Syaoran-kun, thank you." A girl's voice.
My eyes snapped open; my head spun so sharply my neck hurt, and looked across the street.
She was alright. She was on a mound of snow, being held by some guy. The guy must have grabbed her in the nick of time from the car and pulled her out of the way. I ran over as quickly as I could, my legs had strangely turned to Jell-O.
"Are you o.k.?" I asked my voice shaky. Gosh was I scared. I felt sick. She had been so close to dieing-
The girl inclined to beautiful head up to look at me. That was the first time I really got a good look at her eyes.
She bit her lip, looking at the guy than back to me. She said nothing; her face was a mixture of curiosity and confusion. I reached down and pulled her up off the mound, than reached down and helped the guy who was holding her to him. His hand closed around mine, a really strong grip, I noticed. I pulled him up too-
That's when it dawned on me.
He was her savior. He looked to be my age with brown eyes. Cold brown eyes. My dark blue eyes looked away.
He had saved her.
I had looked away.
He had pulled her out of the path of the speeding car.
I had closed my eyes and prayed that the car would change lanes. I had not even so much as shouted out warning.
He was her fucking hero.
I don't remember what the guy ever said to me right after I pulled him up, for at that precise moment the enormity of what could have happened to this girl overwhelmed me and my stomach.
I turned around and vomited.
"Here we are." I said.
My house is a sad sight. It follows the trend set by the rest of the town; two stories and half a basement, one separate garage, gray trimming, gray shutters on the windows. It has two bathrooms, one in the master bedroom, and one in the basement. A small front yard, a small back yard with hardly any trees. The overall plainness of it is memorizing at first because the eye keeps looking for something interesting that is not there.
I led the strange group trailing behind me to the back door, where I paused, stumbling for my keys with numb fingers.
Two other guys had joined after I had vomited for about five minutes. The tallest of them had black hair and creepy eyes. He had a huge, hulking body, obviously very powerful and capable of just about anything. His hands could have easily crushed my small head in them, an image I did not like. I liked the other man much more on account that he did not look as cruel. Long, fair hair and blue eyes, this man looked to have a kind nature. He smiled when he met me, and while he did not shake my hand on account of I had just finished with the last of upchucking, he did bow his head toward me.
I had no idea how these two wear related to the boy and the girl, but I did not question at the time, too cold.
I stumbled with the keys on account of two reasons:
1.) I was in shock at my sudden suggestion (it was more of an outburst, now that I look back) that they should all come to my home. To my greater shock, they accepted my whacked-up offer.
2.), I was only wearing a thin t-shirt with the words, "Holy Shit, it's getting crazy out there" printed in white letters across the front. It took me a long time, but I finally saw that none of these people were dressed appropriately for the cold. Both the girl and the boy were only wearing cut up shirts with weird designs on them. Being still in shock, I offered the girl my sweater and the boy my jacket since they were the closest to my size.
"Won't you be cold?" the girl asked.
"Nah, I walk around like this all the time." I must have said it convincingly, for she actually believed me.
It took me a little longer to convince the boy that he could wear my jacket, mostly because I could not look in his eyes without turning my face away in absolute shame.
So for the last fifteen minutes of my trip I held my arms in close to my body while trying to act as macho as humanly possible to show that I was not a complete wimp. I dropped my own keys about three times before I managed to get them in the keyhole, all the while with the fucking Savior's brown eyes watching me, so I guess that plan was shot to hell.
"Do you need some help with that?" the boy asked the third time they slipped. I could feel his cold eyes burning holes into the back of my skull. I could not face him, not with what I had done, or, I suppose, with what I had not done. I am sure the question was never meant to shame me, but that is how I felt anyways.
"N-no, I fine." I replied, thanking whatever gods were watching over me when the keys finally went in the keyhole. The door opened with a soft click and I ushered them quickly in from the air. The back door is in the kitchen, so I half expected my mother to be standing at the stove cooking some meal with sweet smelling aromas. "Welcome home, "she would say, than hand me a steaming bowl of grub, "Oh, you poor thing, it is so cold outside. Come in, darling, and sit down by the fire. Are you warm enough?"
Yeah right.
Of course, the kitchen was just as empty as I had left it earlier that morning. I did not bother to check the cupboards to see if my father had gotten any food. We were low on food, and most likely I would have to go get some more from the grocer a block away.
I turned around to my four guests. "Er..." What the heck was I supposed to stay? Gee, would you like to sit down? May I take my coat and sweater from you? Gosh, that was sure frightening this afternoon, so who wants some coca?
My guests apparently did not know what to say either, for they looked around the room and shuffled their feet. Then the tall one stretched his arms above his head. His hands touched the ceiling.
"Hey kid, got any sake?" he asked.
The sound of his deep voice surprised me. And what was sake? I asked him that. His face scrunched up in deep concentration, his mind searching for the right words.
"Damn. No sake. What kind of world is this?" he mumbled. "Um, Sake-no, no, not that...Toshi-, no, that's sake, too...uh, drink."
I stared at him.
He seemed desperate. "Drink? Drink that feels good? Do you understand? You have any? Kami, Fai, what's that word-"
"I believe you mean alcohol." The blond man, Fai, answered.
Alcohol. Right. Of course. My mind was swimming for reasons I did not want to think about. It is so much easier to simply work on one objective at a time. I grabbed the nearest beer from inside the refrigerator and handed it to the man.
There was a heavy silence in the room. No one except the tall man, who was glugging down his beer like it was the water of life, moved. Being the host, I felt it necessary to at least try some conversation with these strange people.
"You wanna sit down?" I motioned with my hand toward the small living room. Fai smiled, his brilliant 32 teeth smile, and took my invitation. The others followed, with only the tall man to stay in the kitchen to finish his beer.
I noticed how the boy put his arm protectively around the girl's shoulders, guiding her to a couch, and then sitting next to her, his arm still around her. She seemed not to notice, or not to care, as I liked to think at the time, as he did all of this.
"Are you sure we are allowed to stay here?" Fai's voice startled me. Heck, everything about this people startled me.
"Yea." I hoped he would ask nothing more.
"Where are your parents?"
"Out." I replied without missing a beat. As much as I tried to hide it, there was a dangerous slant in my own voice. The words, 'and what were you doing out in the middle of the road?' almost came to my lips. Fai must have caught the warning tone because he shut up and started to look at all the family photos hanging up on the wall. Or, at least, what was left of them.
"Do you need to lie down?" The boy asked the girl, completely absorbed in only her.
"No, I'm fine thank you." She nodded her head toward him, and he moved his arm away from her, standing up to look at me for the first real time.
"Hello, my name is Syaoran." He reached out his right hand. "I am afraid I never caught your name."
I shook his hand, his strong grip squeezing my bones. "Torin. Torin Uzoma."
Fai turned to me and bowed his head. "Oh, what horrible manners we have. Shame on us!" He also shook my hand. "My name is really long, so just call me Fai. The rude man over there-" he jerked his head to the tall man, "-is Kurogane-san. He is big and mean, but he won't bite. And this little princess right here," he gestured toward the girl, who had gone from a sitting position to lying down on and closing her eyes," is Sakura."
I waited for a moment to see if any last names were forthcoming. Apparently, they were not, for Fai did not continue and looked at me.
"Would you mind-" Syaoran started, then stopped.
"What?" I asked.
"Would you mind if I wash up?" He turned his palms up to me. They were dirty, with cuts and scratches all over.
"Uh, sure. Follow me." I led Syaoran down out of the living room and down the hall to the bathroom. He bowed his head toward me, walking into the bathroom to wash his hands.
In the mist of his hand washing, I was amazed by his whole nature, slightly jealous. Every single movement he did, whether it was an incline of his head or a sharp tug, was graceful and powerful. He seemed so sure of every movement he did, intentional or not. Why the heck was he here in this town?
My curiosity reached a boiling pointed and before I could suppress myself, the words spoiled out of my mouth. "What are you guys doing here?"
He glanced up at my sudden question, his right eyebrow raised. He said nothing for a moment, studying me. I felt like I was taking one of those huge college tests that said who you were going to be for the rest of your life. The intensity of the look made me nervous and even more curious as to why this odd group was here. What was so important that he could not answer a simple question?
"We were looking around for something." He answered at last.
The absurdity of his 'honest' answer was so outrageous, I laughed out loud. He stared at me.
"What are you doing here in this town then?" I asked, suppressing my giggles.
"What do you mean?"
"You aren't gonna find anything in this place." I felt something nice for the first time that evening. For once, I did not feel like the fool that I had been feeling like since I met this serious, graceful Syaoran. For once, I knew something that he did not and, truth to tell, I wanted to impress him with some of my own knowledge.
"Dude, this town is not a town." I said.
"Why?" My mouth opened up to answer that, but no sound came out.
No one had ever asked me that question before. It surprised me to know that I did not really know what made this town not a town. It never felt like a real town to me, and that's all that mattered. Everyone here knew that, and it was never questioned. People did not ask questions like that, for it was just silly. After all, was a town supposed to feel...like a town. A place where kids grew up and turned into trustworthy adults that in turn led the community. This place did not. It felt more like a...prison. A place where the kids found dope and booze in their parents closets and turned into fucking empty shells with red eyes. But I can't tell him that, not can I?
"Just because." I told him, avoiding the issue altogether.
He looked at me but thankfully said nothing more. When he was down washing up (he washed his hands, splashed water on his face, gurgled with mouthwash, attempted to comb his hair, in the end just ranking his fingers through it, and blew his nose with a tissue) he followed me back to the living room.
The girl, Sakura, was fast asleep on the couch; Fai was covering her up with a plaid blanket.
"I am going to go get me one of those 'beer' things," he announced then left the room.
Syaoran quickly went to Sakura, pulling the blanket all the way up her chin. He rested his hand on her cheek, unaware that I was watching. He must have thought of me a second later, for he glanced up, snapping his hand away, but not before I saw the look in his eyes. It was a chilling, cold look of either desperation, or exhaustion.
I felt wrong and sleazy, sort of like I interrupted some intimate moment between the two.
"So..." I said, sitting down on the floor opposite him and Sakura, "how do you guys know if other?"
He gave me that studying look again, as though searching for something that would tell him that I was worthy of knowing.
"Hey man," I tried before he could give me some crap, "I think I deserve to know something here, right? I mean, I took you in, and those two weirdoes who are drinkin' all the beer. If you guys are running from something, that's fine, I don't care. But if you guys are like ax murders or something then I think I should know, and...and-"
His wasn't paying attention to me anymore. His lips had turned upward sometime during my rant, and now he was on the verge of either choking or giggling. I could not tell what was funny about anything I had said in my little monologue, but he soon began to chuckle, then broke out into a full blown laugh.
"What!" I cried indigenously. "What the hell is a matter with you!"
"Ax murders." he laughed. "D-don't you see- never mind." he continued laughing and talking at the same time, an interesting combination on someone who had not shown more than one facial expression in the last 30 minutes, "I don't think that-well, maybe Kuro-heck, even Fai- but," he laughed, "-if, if,...oh, gosh, I doubt any of us will hurt anyone here."
Somehow, those words did not reassure me in the slightest.
Once he calmed down enough, he continued. "Fai and Kurogane are my...guardians."
This time I raised my eyebrows at him. "Guardians?"
He nodded.
Yeah right, my mouth almost formed the words, but I stopped them in time.
Sakura moved around on the couch. She mumbled some nonsense and noise, twisting and turning her body around. Syaoran quickly stopped our conversation to check on her. After a moment, her movement stopped, and she rested quietly once more.
"What about you and her?" I asked, "Is she your girlfriend?"
He was stroking her cheek again, not as intimately as before, but still in the same loving nature. "Nah."
I waited for some more, but this Syaoran was not in the mood for talking.
He let out a small chuckle, then sat down on the floor in front of the couch. I could see that he was trying to hide holding her hand in an awkward way (his arm was a little twisted around, so he placed his head there to block the view) and I pretended not to notice. "Do you have a sister?" he asked.
"Used to." I said, my eyes staring downward at the carpet.
His eyes widened. "Oh," he breathed, "I'm sorry."
I shrugged nonchalantly. "No big deal. It happened when I was younger. I barely remember her."
"My father died recently," he said, suddenly, as if he wanted to connect with me on some subject, then looked up at Sakura's downcast face, "Both of her parents died a while ago. They were good people."
"I am sure they were." His face did soften after I said that. "What do you do?" I asked.
"I work." he said. Sakura let out another mumble.
"Where?"
"In a dessert. I dig around for old stuff."
I grinned. "Good pay?"
He grinned right back. "Mostly. I get some nice bonuses if I find something worth of value." He held her hand just a little tighter. "What about you?"
"Ug, I just quit my job this morning." I sighed, remembering the events that led me to the bank. "I just got sick of it. There are hardly any places for anyone to work in this town, so you would think I would be pretty lucky, right?" He nodded. "Wrong. All of the managers are asses."
"So what are you going to do?" He asked.
"I dunno. I don't care. I know a guy who fixes up junk. He is a fat liar, but he pays." Reno, my friend, quit school before he entered the eleventh grade to take care of his kid. The kid grew up and joined papa in the family business of taking old cars and scrap metal from the factory and turning it into neat little six by six foot boxes. They hike up the prices as far as they can before someone from the factory comes down and warns them. Reno only lets the factory pay half the price, on account of they give him the most metal (where they get all of that is anyone's guess) but for everyone is almost double full price. He gave me a good beating one time when I got into a spat with his son, but dang, he can tell the best jokes.
"Ever been anywhere?" he asked, and when I shook my head, he shrugged, staring off into the distance. "My father used to travel all over with me. He loved all these different places. Anywhere there was anything to dig up and study, he loved it."
"You really took after him, huh?"
Syaoran smiled. "I do. But I am still looking for my own happiness. He seemed to have found his."
I looked at him with pity. I used to be like that, all hopeful and restless. The world could fit into my palm and all I had to do was pick it up and say, "I want to go here," then, whoosh! Off I would go! But harsh reality came knocking at my door and I had to face facts. The fact that if you are not somebody special, you are a nobody. If you are a nobody, then you can't get away from everyone else who is a nobody too. The fact that if you are in a place of nobodies, no one, nothing, will ever come and save you. That's what happened to me. The one person whose respect I cared about ran out on me years ago and I have not heard from him since. He was a somebody.
"You are in the wrong place for happiness, Syaoran." I said, perhaps much more cruelly worded then I intended. "You won't find anything here, so you might as well leave as soon as you can." The twinkle in his eyes died as he looked at me. I felt a bit sorry for that. I quickly tried to cheer him up again, "Hey, I'll even give you some clothes so you won't freeze to death."
Even though I doubt he was going to let me pry further in his life, my curiosity would not be put to rest. "So, what are you guys traveling all the way out here for? Looking for someone?"
"You could say that, I guess."
I leaned back, stretching out my legs. "Well, you aren't gonna find them here."
"How come?"
It was like the question before, the one that I could not answer. However, this time, I wanted to say something more. "Because no one ever comes here any more. This is a place of nobodies. Anyone who is a somebody and smart gets the heck out of here."
Sakura moved again. She was a restless sleeper.
""And for those that don't?" His brown eyes boar deep into mine, searching.
I shrugged. "They die. Being a nobody."
A beat of silence passed.
"Is that what happened to you?"
I glanced up at him, but the world had turned blurry. I reached up and touched my fingertips to my eyes. Big fat, salty tears had formed. I was crying. "Yeah," I croaked out, swearing to myself right then to fucking stop my stupid tears, because there was no fucking way I gonna cry in front of this dude.
"Who left you?"
"My brother"
"You guys want some food?" I shouted.
Fai, the scary dude (Kuro-something), Syaoran, and the girl Sakura were all in the living room, watching TV. Well, three of them were. Sakura was still sleeping.
"Yummy food! Fai want some!" I heard Fai's voice, somewhat muffled.
"Shut up, meat bun!" Kuro gruff voice said. He had been talking like that to Fai a lot for the last hour. I assumed it was some sort of stupid nickname for Fai did not seem to mind. In fact, he grinned even wider then Kuro called him that.
I reached up and opened some of the cupboards, not surprised at what I saw. "Hey listen," I said, crossing over to the living room, "I am gonna have to go get some food." My mind scolded me for bring these people to my home, and now leaving them. I really did not know much more about them then I did when I talked to Syaoran over an hour ago. After our little chat, Fai and Kurogane had finished their beers (Fai looked a little tipsy) and joined us. I left the room for a few minutes, returning to find them watching TV. There was some sort of holiday movie on, the kind with the ending that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
It took me a while, but I finally decided that these people were completely harmless (Kurogane worried me a bit, but on Syaoran's reassurance I calmed myself).
"Will you guys be ok for a while?" I glanced automatically at Sakura, then looking at the rest of them. It felt too odd to have a woman in this house after so long, and I frankly did not know what to do with her if she woke up. I prayed she would just continue sleeping for the rest of the time that they were here. From the looks of things, it seemed I was right.
"Can I come with you?" A voice asked behind me.
I looked over my shoulder at Syaoran.
I had dug through my closet long enough to find some clothes for Syaoran and Sakura. I did not bother to try and find clothes for Kurogane and Fai, for my father's clothes were far too small to fit their lengthy bodies, and my clothes were...well, mine. Syoaran seemed to like my clothes, for he tried on two or three outfits before he decided on his current one, my black pants and thick red sweater. He also found my hat that I forgot this morning and put that on.
As for Sakura, I had no idea what she would like. I asked Syaoran, but he merely shrugged his shoulders and replied, "She'll wear whatever's cute." Cute? Cute! Like I had anything cute for a girl. All my clothes were fit for working, bike riding, skateboarding, and snowboarding when I saved up enough money (which was like never). They were also fit for the average 16 year old boy, with the baggy pants and the works. I had nothing cute. So I laid out what I thought she would not mind to wear, which was far less 'cute' than the clothes she had on.
"O.k. lets go get you some shoes and we'll go."
By the time we left the house, snow had begun to fall.
"Wow."
I looked over at Syaoran. Closing his eyes, he breathed in the cold air in large gulps. His brown eyes were wide in fascination at the weather around him. I continued walking down the street.
"We don't have snow where I live." he told me, running to catch up.
"Where do you live?"
"Too far away from here. Fai used to live in someplace far north where it snows year round. As for Kurogane, he lived in a forest area with four seasons."
"What about Sakura?"
"She lived where I did, in the dessert. Really hot days, freezing nights, but no snow."
I could picture it in my mind already. Now that is a place to live. A place with no winters. No snow. Nothing to remind me of happier days. "Why did you just stay there? What's the point of coming all way out to this wasteland?" I said, motioning with my hand at the gray houses all around.
"We had to travel; at least, that is what she said we needed. We all had to take a journey."
Those words sounded so familiar to me it made me stop in my tracks. "Who said to you?"
Syaoran continued on walking, even though he did not know where to go. "The person who sent me away. She was really nice."
I let out a breath I had not noticed I'd been holding in. "My older brother used to say that."
"Say what?"
"That everyone had to get out of here and take a journey. He was always reading fantasy books and must've got the idea from one of those. He grew up his whole life here, then one day packed up and left."
We continued on down the road to the river edge. From here it was a short trip over one of the numerous small bridges and a quick weave through a concrete maze to the parking lot behind the store.
"What is that?" Syaoran asked me as we neared the bridge, pointing toward the factory.
I continued on walking. "I don't know. No one does, except the ones that work there, and they aren't talking."
"What's in it?"
I sighed, my breath evaporating as soon as it left my mouth. "There are rumors. A biochemical weapon manufacturing plant. A government factory. It was first build almost twenty years ago. People thought for a time that it would prove really valuable to the economy of the place."
"What happened?"
"Nothing. The factory was built, some weirdoes from other places came, then things went back to normal." We were crossing over the bridge now. Gray skies above showed a tranquil scene, calming and sweet. Hushed lullabies of waves along with salty sea air tickled our senses, preying to our imaginations. There was a certain spot halfway on the bridge, a place that showed its repeated use with proud repaintings and footmarks. The railing was smooth here from the hundreds of hands that ran themselves over it. At this point the horizon presented itself in all its glory, drowning you in afternoon rays.
"I used to come up here all the time with my brother." I explained when I stopped. I could not see Syaoran's eyes from where I was at, but I hoped that they were watching the beauty this place had.
"What's your brother's name?"
"Harlan"
The drugstore had been owned by the same family for three generations. The Rambochinnies. Everyone simply called them the Rambos. The current generation had three survivors.
I knew the son best, for he went to my school. All the Rambos had the same completion; dark hair, brown eyes, creamy mocha skin. The son, Amor, was one of the smartest people I shall ever had the pleasure of meeting in my life. Yet his only aspirations were to take over the family business. I talked to him once about this, about how he could actually leave this dump forever, a dream of many, and he replied, "I don't want to. It's probably not that great anyways. Besides, I can live my whole life here."
But why on earth would you want to?
"Take your dick and go screw yourself."
That was the only personal conversation I ever had with him. With anyone, for that matter, in years. And the tradition would have continued until these newcomers almost got ran over.
As we pushed the door open, the smell of pizza raced up our noses, tickling the small hairs. Like dogs, we began to drool. Syaoran was obviously hungry, for his whole face seemed to pick itself up; the corners of his mouth turned upwards.
"Hey! Torin!" Amor's gruff voice called. "Who's your friend?"
Amor was behind the counter, conversing with a small man who had his back to me. I walked up to the counter, my eyes sliding towards the camera mounted on the wall.
"He's a...friend-of the family..." I lied, shifting my eyes from the cameras to Amor's, looking around for any spark of disbelief. His pupils did nothing, remaining the same size. I doubted Syaoran would mind that I fibbed for him and his group. It was not really a fib anyways, just a ...yeah, it was a fib.
"Cool." Amor nodded, turning his large head toward the man, "Be right with you, Torin." As much as I tried to stop myself, my eyes could not help but travel to the man who Amor was talking to. As soon as I saw his face, I regretted it, feeling an instant need to get out as fast as possible.
The man was not actually a man, but another classmate of mine. His name I never cared for, though I knew him by sight enough to stay away. His face was thin and drawn, skin stretched down over his high cheekbones, and red sleeper eyes. He was one of the more notorious druggies of River South High.
Amor was a smart man in everything he did, including business. Anything that smelled of money, Amor was close by, ever so watchful for a good deal. One of those was the drugs that had infected the town's youth. It was a perfect market; young users, introduced in middle school, get hooked on by the time they graduate the eight grade. There was an abundance of new users every year too, for the corruption of the town went far deeper than anyone cared to acknowledge, right down to the inner circles of families.
Amor dealed regularly with kids, mostly at night, so as not to 'disturb the neighborhood', which no doubt knew about it, but turned a blind eye to it. Business was business, no matter what. Anyways. I went back away from the counter, going down some of the aisles looking for Syaoran. He was in the junk food section, his arms filled to their capacity with Ramen, Apollo Choco, soup, crackers, hot dogs, Harman Beans, noodles, and one loaf of bread. I raised my eyebrow at him.
"You don't know how much Kurogane and Fai eat," he said, handing me some of the Ramen and Apollo Choco to hold. I shrugged, thinking about the empty cabinets at home.
"Hey Torin!" Amor's friendly voice boomed from the front of the store. I said nothing, grabbing one pack of gum from the candy rack, motioning with my head for Syaoran to follow me. "Geeze, man, you hungry, or what?"
"Just check it; I want to get out of here." Amor thankfully did not question my hastiness. His large hands grabbed the packages, stuffing them in paper bags, then handing them to me. "Let's go." I did not bother to look back to see if Syoaran was following.
"Hey Torin, wait up," Amor's voice called. I glanced back; making sure my head was low, my chin almost touching my chest, glaring at him with a scowl. It was the universal teenaged symbol meaning, "lemme the hell alone".
"What?"
"Your pop came in this morning. Told me he would be staying away a few days." Amor raspy voice grated against my ears.
"Anything else?"
Besides being the local 'trusting' drug dealer, Amor doubled as a therapist/messenger. Kids regularly came in to buy drugs, then talked to him about anything that came to their minds. This normally ranged from why do cats have strips, to the best methods for ganging up on some poor victim, to the truly profound thoughts of "How do I move my pinky?" Amor hardly ever gave good advice, but nobody cared about that stuff anyways.
"Nah." He clapped his hands together once, then moved over to the donut case, "I would tell you to have a party, but since you're you, I know you won't."
"Bye."
"Torin, man, you need to lighten up, dude."
I pushed the door open without a glance back.
My worst fear had come true. The moment I opened the door, I could tell something was very, very, very wrong.
She was fucking awake.
Damnit!
She was fucking standing. In my fucking kitchen. In my fucking clothes. My clothes were not the right fit for her, but that did not seem to matter to her, nor did it hide her beauty, or hide her slim waist, or her small wrists. Heck, she could wear a shitty paper bag and still have that exotic beauty. I simply could not take my eyes off her.
I was getting kinda excited, than I noticed how Syaoran moved to her side, his sure footed, gracefulness, and I knew how foolish I was. Even in the dullness of my kitchen, those two emitted an intimacy and caring ness and love that I had never seen. Sakura would smile up at him, and offer to help put some of the food away. He would nod his thank you, asking very gently how she felt. He would never say it in a prying way, giving her plenty of room for her to make conversation herself. She would dismiss the question, stating how kind he was to her. Their hands would happen to meet each other over the ramen package and then snap away, only to meet each other once more over Apollo Choco.
I felt like an intruder in my own house.
Thankfully, that was as far as their affection went. Besides the occasional hand touching, they avoided each other like the plague. I imaged a high wall between them with a hole the size of a quarter halfway down. Syaoran and Sakura would talk to each other through the hole, but never made any effort to get over the wall.
It was kinda funny.
In fact, it was really funny.
Even so, I left as quickly as possible, not bothering to acknowledge her presence.
These strangers were crazy! Deep jealousy unsettled in my stomach when I thought to Syaoran. The two men were just here drinking up my beer. I suddenly wanted them out. I wanted them as far away from me as possible.
I walked into the living room where Fai and the other tall guy were, watching the tube. Kurogane had taken off his shirt and there were all these scars and burn marks and cuts and bruises all over his whole torso, which like freaked the shit out of me, yet at the same time he skyrocketed up on my cool meter. Just then I had a weird flashback to my brother Harlan, when he was teaching me how to throw a baseball. Anyways, this weird dude who was probably high at the time came up to us and started messing around with us, shouting insults at me whenever I dropping the stupid ball, which made me mess up more, which made me start crying. So Harlan, he was looking so cool, he just took a bat and starting walking over to this guy and took a swung at him, but missed on purpose so the bat landed close by this dude's foot. The dude was so fucking scared, man, he took off running.
Harlan could stand his own in a fight. This guy, Kurogane, right now, in the weird black and white glow of the TV, he was looking so cool, with his shirt off and his scars showing. I envied him right than. Kurogane stood his own in a fight, and he probably beat up dudes too, or at least scared them bad, just like Harlan. I just kinda stood there for a full five minutes, just looking at his chest, thinking about how bad Harlan got messed up in a fight. They stared at the strobe light-like characters with extreme interest. Way too much interest. They reminded me of my druggie friends, and I quickly ran out of the room and down the hall to my room.
My room was like a haven of pure crap mixed in with cool mixed in with some weird mixed in with punk. My bed was a mattress on the floor with two sheets and a navy blue down-comforter. I had all the greatest rock gods posted up on my wall-even some of the lamer ones, who certainly weren't as cool, but man, they had some great songs that I would just listen to over and over and over. The rewind button on my tape player is worn out.
So besides my awesome collection of music and posters and my bed, the only other thing in my room that was not shit was my sweet player. Two big fat speakers and a cassette/radio/CD player. It took me a whole summer to earn that money, but man, I finally did it and it was so cool playing my first song on it.
I didn't give a fucking shit anymore. I was so exhausted by...something. I don't know really. Just everything. This place. This house. My dad. My brother. My mother. These crazy people who seem somehow saner than I am and they didn't even wear snow boots.
The last thing I remember from that night was my head hitting the pillow and darkness.