A/N This is the sequel to my other fic Little Secret. It would be good for you to check it out before reading. You don't have to read it however, to follow this chapter as it works just fine as a stand alone. Thanks to Wolfmusic218 for Beta assistance, much appreciated ma'am.

Disclaimer~~~ Nothing you see here belongs to me.

Now on to our story. :)

Nothing much ever fazed Joss. Nothing much terrified her. But here she was, feeling just that. Fear, panic, intensely. And it was what brought her here to John's loft at three o'clock in the morning. On the off chance he was at home and not out on the street working she just needed to be near him, wanted his arms around her, and hopefully it'd help to calm the apprehension she was feeling.

They'd just recently taken their unique friendship to another level, had started dating, at least as much as their jobs and busy schedules would allow over the last couple weeks. They were enjoying each other's company so much more than they had before. There was just that last, final step they'd yet to take. She knew the implications of coming over to a guy's place at this time of the morning, but she felt she could trust John to put aside his desire to finally consummate their relationship and simply give her what she needed right now.

Her fingers moved around over the top of the crown molding by his front door and her hand shook as it gripped his spare key. She opened the door nervously and stepped inside.

Nobody could sneak up on him. He had an innate ability to sense whenever someone was near. Always. It was like a sixth sense about him, Reese thought. Tonight was no different. His eyes opened in the dark at the sound of the key in the lock and the soft footsteps that made their way across the hardwood floor. The corners of his mouth curved upward as he heard the thud of shoes hitting the floor, the descending sound of the zipper on her jacket. He shifted slightly as the bed dipped when she got in beside him. His hand moved over her bare arms as she nestled in close to him.

It had been a long day, an even longer night, and he welcomed the comforting feel of her in his bed. Her limbs twined around his, trousered thigh lay over his muscled one, and her hand moved over his bare chest. He tilted his head downward, his lips brushing softly over hers and he felt himself slowly coming to life at the brief touch. She returned his kiss - though less ardently - and turned her head away. She was quiet and her breath hitched as she released it. Something was wrong. There was a faint undercurrent of anxiety, almost indistinguishable, but it was there. He felt it. As his hand moved down her back, she moaned, a soft rumbling in her throat.

"Spare key?" he asked softly against the top of her head. His fingers softly toyed with her loose tendrils.

"Yeah. I'm just glad I didn't startle you. I was half expecting the barrel of a gun against my torso," she replied.

He chuckled as he stroked her cheek. "I smelled your perfume as soon as you walked through the door."

Her only answer to his statement was another soft moan, and he waited to see if she'd talk about the real reason for her visit tonight. Her silence spoke volumes, as did the arm that she held firmly around his waist. She burrowed closer to him, and he grew even more alarmed, tensing up beside her.

"What's the matter, Joss?" he asked.

"Just hold me."

It was an urgent request, and one that didn't come too frequently, not in this manner. She never acted like she needed to be protected. She was hard as nails most of the time. Her demeanor was always strong and in control. But he knew the truth. She wasn't as hard as she put out to the world. He knew the real softness that lay beneath the surface. Tonight, however, it was on display in full force and he was concerned. He would literally kill for her, without question or hesitation. He'd practically dangled Captain Lynch over a building and threatened to kill Elias himself if he so much as touched her. If anybody hurt her - anybody - he would do whatever it took to make sure that they would pay.

"Tell me what's wrong," he pressed, a little more insistently.

"John…just…hold me. Please."

Pursing his lips together in the dark, he did as she asked. Whatever it was, she wasn't quite ready to talk about it, not yet. So he kept quiet. For the time being.

"Okay."

He stroked her back, smoothed his hand over her head and soon her breathing settled into a quiet rhythm beside him. She fell asleep, leaving him with thoughts of how much she'd come to mean to him and how fiercely protective he was of her. The lengths to which he was willing to go to to ensure that she felt safe were considerable. The realization suddenly gave him pause, no doubt if voiced, it would shock her too.

Still, the last thoughts on his mind as he closed his eyes and let himself slip into an uneasy slumber were questions about what had taken place. What had happened to her tonight? And who was it that had rattled her so much?

The Next Day

In the cool light of day, Carter felt more like herself. She felt calm and more in control of her emotions than she had the night before. Was it the few hours of sleep she had, or was it the security of John's arms that was responsible for the restoration of all her emotions back to perfect order? She smiled, not displeased at all with the thought of it being the latter. As hoped, he'd been everything she needed. He wanted to know what was wrong, but he backed down when he realized she needed him to wait. She knew however, that he'd want answers later. Hopefully his interrogation wouldn't start too soon. It was her day off, Taylor was at her mom's, and she wanted to enjoy it as much as possible.

She untangled herself from John's embrace, careful not to wake him. She heard the faint sound of a beep coming from the kitchen and made her way there. The coffee maker was preparing a few cups and the aroma filled the air. She poured a cup, adding cream and sugar and took a sip. It was full bodied, rich and heavy, and left a good aftertaste in her mouth. She took a deep breath, exited the kitchen, and headed back to the bedroom.

He was still asleep, but she was sure he would rouse soon. The sheet was pooled around his waist, providing an ample view of his chest and shoulders, his thighs and legs. She raised an eyebrow, gazing at his body and the arms that held her so close as she fell asleep. The smell of his natural scent combined with the antiseptic soap he used had filled her nose before she drifted off. His body boasted lean muscle that wasn't developed through heavy weight lifting, but through conditioning of another sort. Of what, she wasn't entirely sure. Combat training? Boxing? Swimming? Maybe even an intense yoga or Pilates workout. Whatever he did, she was more than happy with the results it produced.

He shifted, and the sheet slipped off his body. What it revealed was typical of every male in the early morning. Her eyes rested at the meeting of his thighs. She shook her head seeing that he was no different, but his offering was impressive. She ran her tongue slowly over her bottom lip, and it wasn't because of the last mouthful of coffee she swallowed. Recollections of their first 'date' and their subsequent do-over at his place crossed her mind. The thought of their first kiss in his closet, and then the one they shared on his couch sent a shiver through her. Her nipples puckered and strained against the tank top she wore. Their sexual chemistry was strong, electric, and it was crazy that after all this time they hadn't been together. But, they did promise each other to take things slowly.

Perhaps it was time.

"Joss…"

He murmured her name as he slowly opened his eyes, and finally focused on her gazing at him from the edge of the bed. He drew his legs up as he sat up in bed. He too took in an appreciative glance of her, seeing in the daylight what only his hands had felt when she first came over. Though she could tell he liked what he saw - she was braless underneath her tank top - his smile was neither vulgar nor crude.

"Good morning," she said.

"Good morning," he replied. "How'd you sleep?"

"Pretty good, actually."

"I'm glad. I was worried for a moment."

He still was, but the words lay unsaid between them. He was concerned. It was heavy in his voice and she felt touched knowing he cared that much about her. That invisible string that had tied them together was pulling on her, drawing her closer to him, and she felt tears sting her eyes.

"John, I just…needed…you…last night. I needed you…to just be there...and…"

"I'm always here, Joss, whenever you want me. I told you, I can be whatever you need me to be. Wanna talk about it?"

He stared at her in silence and she knew this was his offer to talk. She felt silly. She felt foolish for feeling the way she did. She didn't even know how to put into words what she'd actually felt and what had led her over here in the first place. And she wasn't sure she should strip herself bare to him like that.

She held up the coffee mug in her hand, pointing to it. "Hope you don't mind. I had a sample."

"By all means," he responded, waving his hand. He recognized the subtle change of subject and accepted it. "Help yourself to whatever you want. How's the coffee? You like it?" he asked. Suddenly his voice dipped to something that was sultry, raspy.

"It's damn good. You want me to pour you a cup?" She started to walk away, but he stopped her.

"No, no, no. I have a better idea. Come here." He swung his legs over the side of the bed, sitting wide.

His voice didn't sound like 'coffee'. It sounded like fingers moving across skin, tongues touching, and a sensual feeling that travelled all the way down to your bones, she thought. She walked over and he pulled her between his legs. He looked at her briefly, then he pressed his lips to her stomach, kissing her through her top. She breathed in and out, fast and hard as his hands made quick work of the zipper on her pants. When it dropped to her feet she stepped out of it and he pulled her onto his lap. She felt the hardness between his legs as it brushed against her mound and moaned.

"Let me taste that coffee," he said, and as his hands rested on her bottom, she gasped. He used that opportunity to slide his tongue into her open mouth, and he pulled her into a kiss so intense her toes curled. She leaned into him, running her free hand over his head and took in the warmth he was offering. He toyed with her mouth, tasting and licking and her stomach clenched as his arms moved up over her back.

She felt the cup leave her hand, felt his fingers curl around hers for a moment, but then he pulled her closer to his erection and she couldn't help but mewl at the feel of it. Warmth began to pool between her legs.

"I thought you wanted coffee," she whispered against his lips.

"I did, and it was delicious. I want more."

His thumbs circled her nipples over the cotton of her tank top, and when she looked into his eyes she saw smoldering heat within their blue depths. His name poured from her tongue as his hands moved underneath it and he pulled it over her head. Soon it fell to the ground, forgotten fabric on the floor next to the mug and her pants.

His eyes travelled over her, resting on the scar on her torso. He looked at her questioningly as she traced her fingers over the raised flesh.

"Land mine. On a routine patrol with a marine and out of nowhere…we just heard a click. I got lucky. He didn't."

"I would have lost you," he said, looking at her meaningfully, his hand covering hers where it rested.

He was right, if she'd been the one who'd stepped on that land mine instead of her fellow soldier, she'd be dead instead of here right now with him. So much wouldn't have been said, felt, or experienced. And she would have missed that. He was telling her with his eyes, that he would have missed all that too.

She remembered the bullet he'd given her, a reminder that he too had come dangerously close to death. She would have lost him too if he'd gone through with it. He credited her for changing his life, changing his mind during that first fateful meeting when she'd found him in that interrogation room. She'd been hell-bent on finding out who he was from that day onward. She'd been determined, almost relentless to find out the identity of the 'man in the suit'. Perhaps, he'd touched something inside her that she didn't know was there. Perhaps, he'd changed her too.

"I would have lost you," Reese repeated, seeking out her lips once more. She felt so warm in his hands, so soft. He leaned backwards on the bed taking her with him. Her hair fell forward, a dark curtain framing her face. In the soft light filtering in through the window she looked almost like an angel. He couldn't help thinking how lucky he was to meet her, to have her here right now.

She put her hands on both sides of his face, kissing him, gliding her tongue over his, and Reese felt weeks, months, years of desire start to build inside him. He gathered her in his arms and pinned her underneath him, putting his tongue where his fingers had been before. She trembled as he kissed her breasts, blazing her brown skin with his mouth, creating patterns of pure pleasure and he moved the tip of his tongue on the raised peaks of her nipples. He loved the moans that escaped her throat, watched as her face changed as she expressed pleasure at his touch. The faint arousal he felt when he woke up was strong now as he lay between her legs. His cock was getting even harder.

He kissed her again, the trembling lips that quivered as he touched her. The taste of morning coffee was gone now, but her mouth was still sweet nonetheless. Her fingernails lightly scraped his back as he pressed himself against her mound again. Together they grunted, tongues mingling, both in anticipation of what was to come. He deepened the kiss, moving his hand lower and underneath her panties, sliding it over the sensitive flesh between her legs.

She was wet.

He kissed her neck, her collarbone, the valley between her breasts, and then her stomach. His hand continued to move over her until he pulled her panties down over her knees and finally discarded them over his shoulder. He kissed the inside of her thighs, but stopped momentarily to look at her, the soft folds, and the brief flash of pink. He closed his eyes as his tongue slid over them from her labia to her clit.

She cried out. Loudly, and it echoed in the apartment. He reached up for her hand, the one that was clawing at his shoulder and held it tightly. He held it while he tasted her, while she bucked against him, held it while she trembled underneath his mouth and moaned his name over and over again. Her smell, her softness, her taste, they were all driving him wild.

He groaned. He wanted her so badly, and he couldn't wait any longer. He relieved himself of his underwear, and entered her smoothly, quickly. He opened her legs wide beneath him and drew them over his back.

"Joss…."

He moaned her name, and it was then that a single raindrop pelted against his window. Then another, and another. The morning had turned gray. As he buried his face in the side of her neck and started to thrust, the sky exploded, a fitting backdrop for their thunderous first coupling. He put his hand underneath her bottom and proceeded to pour himself into her. So much longing, so much emotion, so much that had been pent up for so long. He held nothing back and neither did she.

When they were done, when it was over, they were nothing but heaving bodies, labored breaths and neither wanted to move. He kissed her softly on the side of her face, and noticed a faint trail of moisture there. She was crying.

"Joss?"

She shook her head, and he gathered her in his arms, pulling her atop him. He drew the sheets over them and held her tightly, kissing her temple.

"It's okay, Joss. I've got you. I've got you."

The crying had long subsided, but John still hadn't let her go. A momentary callback to how she felt the night before and the physical satisfaction of an almost mind blowing orgasm had contributed to the release of her emotions through tears. He'd been so tender with her at first, then he became so passionate, so hungry. He filled her up like she hadn't imagined and it was so beautiful, so amazing that she'd literally felt like she'd lost her breath a few times.

The rain that had begun so shortly after they began to make love was still ongoing, though it had slowed to a light drizzle instead of the downpour it was before. She was still in his arms, neither of them had said a word, and she glanced up to see that his eyes were closed.

"Are you asleep?" she whispered.

"No," he replied. "I'm not."

"Figures."

"I'm waiting for you, Joss."

It was time to come clean. She'd stalled enough, and though he hadn't mentioned the tears she knew the worry he'd felt last night had escalated after he'd seen them.

"Fusco and I were following a lead last night in Washington Heights. There were two suspects, both of them bolted soon as they saw us. Fusco headed after one, I followed the other." She was hesitant to go on, but his hand moving over her back gave her the courage to. "He went down this deserted street, it was dark, it was late. I finally caught up with him, started reading him his rights and was about to handcuff him. I'd already snapped on one of the bracelets when he broke free and knocked my gun out of my hand. We fell over after a struggle, tousled on the ground…he had his hand around my throat…"

"Joss…" Reese's hand cupped her cheek and she held it, twining their fingers together.

"For a moment I couldn't breathe. If that wasn't bad enough, he got a little grabby. Started…touching me in…intimate places. His fingers started to go for the zipper of my pants. I don't know, but…the thought of Fusco not knowing where I was, the idea of what he was about to do to me…it sent an adrenaline rush through me. I started to fight back harder, I turned my head to reach for my gun on the ground and I finally found it. I put two into his chest. Fusco caught up with me a little bit after that. I didn't tell him anything about it. But I just felt so…afraid. For the first time in a long time."

"I'm so sorry."

She shook her head.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," he said again. He looked down at her with regret for not being there to help her, but there was something else underneath. Something that she was scared to acknowledge.

"There's nothing you could've done. You weren't there."

"That's right. I wasn't."

"And you couldn't have been. And you won't be all the time, either. But when I came over last night you were. And you were everything that I needed you to be, John. You helped me feel safe and protected. I'm the one who's sorry that I didn't say something sooner."

"Why didn't you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I was afraid of letting you know how scared I was. Maybe I didn't want to admit it to myself. Maybe I was afraid of -"

"Being vulnerable," he finished for her. "Afraid of asking for help."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"You know a really beautiful homicide detective once asked me if I needed help once. I'd just had a fight with some punks on a subway, beat them up pretty badly too. She had the camera footage to prove it, but she asked me…if I needed help."

She chuckled. "Stop."

"But she was right. I did need help. It'd been months since anyone from the real world had even looked at me long enough to ask and mean it. I knew there was something special about her since then."

"John, you're so crazy."

"I am, Joss," he replied, kissing the top of her head. "I'm so crazy about you. Listen, I know that when you have to depend on yourself for as long as you've had to…it can make you hard. But you don't always need to be so hard around me."

"They teach you that in C.I.A. spy school? Relationships 101?" she teased, and captured his bottom lip between her own. She kissed him then, pressing her mouth on his, and lowered her hand underneath the sheets. He threaded his fingers through her hair as she darted her tongue into his mouth.

"No. I learned that one on my own." His answer was strangled. He couldn't help but moan a little as she stroked his growing erection.

She kissed the side of his neck, then his chest. "I'm so proud of you," she said, chuckling, and kissed his stomach. "Most agency guys are kinda dumb."

"And you're well acquainted with them, I take it?"

"Yeah, I am." Her tongue was tracing his navel now, her lips kissing the highly sensitive spot right underneath it.

"Name one."

"Mark Snow."

"Point taken," he laughed, but the sound turned into a long grunt as her lips wrapped around his shaft.

He gathered her hair in his hands, moving it to the side, so he could get a better view of what she was doing. She didn't mind. She liked that he was watching. She circled the head with her tongue, sucked it, then took him into her mouth again. Over and over it went on, and he twitched under her busy mouth, groaning, sinking his fingers into her shoulders, until finally he pulled her up by her arms and kissed her hard.

He positioned her on her stomach and entered her from behind. The penetration was so deep, the pleasure so agonizingly good that she could do nothing but whimper. She tilted her head to the side to receive his kiss, and he entangled their fingers together. Every part of her was filled to capacity. With him, and with ecstasy. With her hands in his, with her name on his lips, and with him pumping away inside her, they found bliss together.

Early Evening

"Are you tired?" he asked.

"Aren't you?" she responded.

They'd only risen from bed earlier to get breakfast, and after a brief phone call to check on Taylor at her mom's and both of them taking a shower, they ended up right back in bed together. And it wasn't to sleep.

He shrugged. "Maybe a little. But it's nothing an hour's sleep and a good meal wouldn't cure."

"What?"

"Here we go back to that C.I.A. training again and what I learned. Spy 101: How to maintain stamina with little to no rest and or food."

She swatted his chest. "Don't you even."

"I'm just saying, Joss. We could go to sleep right now, wake up in the middle of the night and I'd be good for at least -"

"Don't say it," she warned, interrupting him.

"Oh….at least one round."

She kissed her teeth, shaking her head against his chest.

"You'd enjoy it too," he said, mischievously.

"I would," she admitted, bubbling with laughter.

"I know you would."

He loved the sound of her laughter, loved the way her body rocked whenever it overcame her. She'd brought joy to the walls of his home, brought joy to his life. He was so used to it now, he couldn't imagine a life without it anymore. He didn't want to.

"I knew it would be this good." She grew quiet at his admission. "I'm not just talking about the sex, Joss."

"I know, John. I know. I didn't know, but I'm pleasantly surprised. And I'm very glad."

"I'm glad too. Cause I plan on surprising you again tonight." He pulled her close, kissing her neck.

"I know, I know. One more round."

"No, not that. After we wake up from this nap we're going to take…"

"You're actually going to let me sleep?"

"Yes. Aren't I benevolent?"

"You're turning out to be."

"After we wake up from this nap, I'll cook you dinner."

"Well in that case…."

He rolled his eyes as she pretended to snore. "Joss…I really am crazy about you."

He felt her kiss in the dark, a soft touch on his lips. "I'm crazy about you too, John. I'm crazy about you too."

A/N Who truly believes that John is willing to let what happened to Joss go after she finally told him what was wrong? No, she didn't tell him the guy's name, but we all know if John wants to find out information on someone, he has more than enough resources. Perhaps there's a sequel that'll explore this little possibility. Who knows? LOL