~Conflicted~
Xion was always so conflicted when it came to Axel.
She wasn't sure sometimes if she wanted to just let herself melt in his arms, or just run, run away from him, because she didn't understand him.
She had thought, once, that he had been always joking and energetic. But Roxas said that had only started after Castle Oblivion, due to someone he had met. When he had asked Axel who "he" was, all he said was, "That boy that rubbed off on me."
Okay, so Xion was glad she didn't have to deal with the more cold, calculating Axel. But that's when she realized he had never left. Axel had simply hid that other persona underneath a shield of cheerful, mocking comments. Someone, please…
Help her understand.
Xion lowered her head on her arms, and she looked down from the balcony at the neon lit city below. There were no people, nothing at all, and she wondered what the heck it was even doing down there if no one lived inside.
Why? What was the point? She sighed, a slow, deep movement that held all of her fears and lies. She closed her eyes, and the darkness intruded in on her. She felt like she couldn't take much more of this, no, no more! Please! There was so much darkness and confusion around her that she longed for simplicity and light. And the person that was causing it was the person she thought she might have loved.
Xion had asked Roxas what love was once. She thought she saw it in his eyes whenever he had looked at the poor girl the Organization had imprisoned at their castle before Oblivion had been completed. That girl Namine. He had been almost constantly near her whenever she had been here, but the news that she was gone had hit him hard.
But he had also seemed to accept it. Maybe Roxas was glad she had flown the coop, so to speak. She was reminded of the cage that had Namine's doll in it.
Xion wondered if she was only making things worse for herself. It wasn't so bad, really. She could deal with it. She shrugged her shoulders, lifting her head. She was still confused, but maybe all she had to do was figure it out.
This was the bulk of the problem, of course…
Xion stiffened as she felt someone wrap their arms around her chest, but relaxed at the strangely familiar scent of cinnamon.
"Axel," she accused. Her eyes glinted with laughter. She leaned into the soft, familiar kiss they often shared. Those kisses that made her forget she was a Nobody.
"Thinking of something?" He inquired, not releasing his grip on her waist. She looked over the edge of the wall, and felt like she was looking down into the pits of infinity.
"Why's that city there?" Xion said. It wasn't a lie; she had been thinking of that. Just...it wasn't her biggest concern.
A pause and Xion knew he had detected the carefulness in her tone. He knew she was hiding something.
Oh dang, he'll never leave until he gets me to say it now.
He looked thoughtful. "Well," he said into her ear softly, causing a warm shiver to run down her spine. "I hear its representative, got it memorized?"
"Of what?" Cue the blush. Xion was almost always aware of when she blushed.
He toyed with her hair, and she felt his fingers running over the soft black strands. "Apparently it's like us. It's a city, right?"
"Yeah. But it's empty." She said, confused. She felt his sigh ruffle her hair gently, and she glanced down at the featureless white windowsill she was leaning on.
"Heh, Xion…It's representative because citizens make up the heart of a city." Axel explained. "Without the people who inhabit it, what's the point of the city?"
"So when we get out hearts back, will the city become populated?"
"Guess so. I don't care, personally."
"Why not?" Xion was surprised. This was their home, this chaotic silence that choked its inhabitants with its cold indifference.
But they had lived here. The others had lived here. For a long time, from the sounds of it. Their white castle balancing between worlds.
"I dislike the place," he said softly. "Besides, I know you like the ocean. And when we get our hearts back, that's where you'll go. And me too."
Xion was skeptical, and she wasn't afraid to show it. "You're just going to leave Roxas?" Those two were so close she thought they had to be related at some point.
She was almost jealous of it.
"Well, he's coming with us. We're friends, aren't we? Now are you going to tell me what's really bothering you, or do I have to make you?"
Xion turned her head away, a smile playing on her lips. "You can't make me. Besides, since when do I have to tell you everything?" Here her words became sharp. "You don't tell me anything."
Axel was surprised by her sudden vehemence, but didn't let it get to him. He smoothed back his fiery red mane of hair, but of course it just jumped back into place. "Xion," he soothed. "I only keep things from you for your own good."
"So you admit you do?"
"Yup." He let go of her, flicking his wrist and opening a Portal. The blackness opened like an obedient beast, stretching into an oblong, oval shape. The tendrils leaked outward threateningly, and Xion felt uneasy just watching it. The Darkness was terrifying, even to one whom used it often.
"Axel, secrets aren't good you know." She suddenly felt hurt that he wasn't telling her, and what did he mean…secrets for her own good?
Axel looked at her with his wild, flaming green eyes that she had fallen head over heels for, and he looked almost guilty.
"Xion…let's just say you don't need to find your heart." With those cryptic words, he vanished into the Portal.
Xion stepped back to the window, staring at the city with its long, tall skyscrapers that reached for Kingdom Hearts.
And now she had more questions than ever for the Flurry of Dancing Flames.
~***~
Yup, I try to specialize in AxelxXion stories. Or just Xion stories.
Anyway~, leave a review, will you? And if you have a preference, say RikuxXion or RoxasxXion, why not leave it in the review too?
