Truce
A/N: Hey, there! Yes, I'm back with my RukaRu story (I've kind of been a little preoccupied with PJO, so...yeah.) I kind of conceived the plot a few years ago, but I decided to remake the story. In case you're wondering, you wouldn't wanna read the original one. lol..
So..this is it! Please don't forget to leave a review, alright? Tell me what you think about the story; flames? go ahead!
P.S. Thanks for even bothering. Enjoy! :]
Normal POV
"What're you doing here?"
The taller, dark-haired, Imai faced her before sitting down. They were in an office—a very expensive-looking one—and she had a feeling that his older brother had it reserved for this moment alone. Which she found confusing, because she was pretty sure it wasn't her birthday. Even then, she knew it would take a miracle for his brother to do something like that for her.
"Take a seat."
She didn't feel like getting bullied now, and since she enjoyed being such a good younger sister, she just crossed her arms against her chest and leaned on the sofa instead, her eyes not looking away from him as she waited.
He didn't seem to notice the defiance; or if he did, he didn't show any sign of it, which, for some reason, made her heart start to beat faster.
"I came here to talk to you." He said, trying but failing to keep the indifference, and finally met her eyes. And it was only then that she noticed how her brother was all clad in black.
Trying to stay calm, she braced herself as he started to talk the talk. "She…"
Damn it. The room seemed to shrink down on her as her brother talked. She could barely hear him as he fought back tears; she could scarcely bear to look at him and listen at the same time. She felt torn between wanting to leave, and wanting to hear the rest of the story. She could handle it, she thought to herself, if only she'd shut the feelings out and concentrate on the facts her brother's been saying. But it's impossible not to feel them, the edging emotions, now that they were very much like termites slowly destroying her fortress.
"She's gone."
She winced. She never thought that that sentence could hurt so badly. Her eyes started to pool with tears, but gulping back weakness, she took a deep breath and stared at the floor. "When? How?"
"She had been ill." He replied, and even without looking at him, she knew his eyes were filled with tears too, though he might as well have been trying his best not to look weak. Funny, he sure is her brother after all. "I found out when I came home from the U.S. She…died the other day."
The pain and grief edged closer as she snapped at him, "Why didn't you tell me?"
"What could you have done that I couldn't?"
She fought the urge to hit him while stopping the tears that were already starting to get a little stubborn. Finding her voice, she glared at his brother. "At least you could have told me. You should've told me. At least that…"
"She didn't want me to."
"What?"
"You know her. She didn't want you to know."
"And so you just forgot about me, didn't you, big brother?"
There was silence as their eyes locked.
For the first time since she could remember, she saw pain and remorse in her brother's eyes as he looked away. "You know me. I obey."
"Of course, "She muttered and straightened up before turning to the door. Weird, the door's supposed to be a few steps only, now it felt like hundreds.
"The funeral's four days from now."
"Thanks for the news."
"Listen. Hotaru." He said before she could turn the doorknob. "She…didn't want you to come."
Gulping back the erupting sob in her throat, she faced him and saw herself in his eyes. The girl in there stared back, and she hated it—because she was devastatingly calm.
"You know me brother." She muttered before leaving. "I obey."
The petals blew from his favorite tree like pink spatters of paint in the blue canvass of the sky as the wind blew. Closing his eyes, he quietly savored the rare moment of serenity—half-wondering how the Ice Queen would end it this time…
Then he frowned. She entered his mind again!
It's been years now, their bickering and routine chases. Not that he'd actually marked his calendar for an anniversary. It's just that, since they're only a year and a half more before graduating, he couldn't help but notice. Besides, she's kind of become a part of his life already.
..
…
….
He shot up on his elbows as if catapulted by the very ground he had been lying on. Did he just admit that?
"Oi, Ruka."
He almost jumped at the sound of his bestfriend's voice. "Oh, uh…what is it?" He mumbled and shook his head as if to shrug off the disturbing thought—or fact—about no less than the Ice Queen.
"You didn't chase Imai this morning."
"Wh-what?" Blood rushed up to his naturally pale face, his eyes widening at the sudden offense. "I-it's not like—" Natsume raised an eyebrow at him as if daring him to deny. Ruka opened his mouth in protest, but got shut down again. "Fine! Fine! I—I was wondering why, too."
The dark-haired guy nodded. "Just as I thought."
Ruka flushed. Yeah, yeah, he did kind of develop a soft spot for his and Imai's routine chase. There were times when he would actually look forward to it—stupid times, yes—and he would chide himself for that afterwards.
But they didn't have the chase this morning. And he tried but failed to keep that off his mind all day, until now, that is.
Usually, she did the first move—taunting him with her "latest bestsellers" until he would get pissed and proceed with the chase. But this morning Imai simply walked pass him, as if he didn't exist. She came in a little late than usual and, most surprisingly, didn't push Mikan away. It was as if she wasn't herself at all. As if her body was present, but Hotaru Imai was someplace else. And he had a very bad feeling about her thoughts' whereabouts.
"Hey."
Ruka blinked twice, realizing that his bestfriend had been watching him intently as he daydreamed. "Oh, uh…what was that?"
"I talked to Mikan." Natsume said, closing his manga before turning to his bestfriend. "She's been crying all night." Ruka looked at him and for some reason, his heart pounded against his chest real hard as he waited. "Imai's mother died."
Hotaru Imai was pretty sure she was alone. She made Mikan promise not to follow her, and by the way she stared at her bestfriend while telling her, she knew she wouldn't break her promise. But why did she feel like someone was watching her?
Ignoring the tingling of her intuition, she continued walking; trying her best to stray away from any emotion she had been feeling for days now. No, there's no way she'd want to think about any of those. They simply…hurt.
Though she had no idea how she got there, she paused by the Elementary school playground and watched a few four-year-olds running about like there's no tomorrow. Poor kids, she bet no one told them they'd end up stuck here in the Academy for years they'd rather go spending in the outside world. Come to think of it, it would have been nice to live her teenage years outside the Academy walls—experience things she would never experience in the confines of the place she'd learned to treat like home.
If she'd been an orphan, maybe the outside world wouldn't be so tempting to give a second thought; but she'd grown up knowing she had a family to return home to. Well, until a few days ago, that is.
The throbbing pain awakened at this, and she quietly winced, firmly holding on to not shedding a single tear. Stupid, Ice Queen. Go hurt yourself.
When she opened her eyes, it was dimmer, and the pre-preschoolers were already gone. The sky had already turned orange and violet, and in a few minutes it would be dark. There was a weird comfort about it, the quiet and being alone in the dark; it didn't make her think about anyone seeing her. It didn't make her worry about doing anything. Being alone kept her safe from the prying eyes of many; kept her safe from their questions, their plastic comfort, and their rash judgment.
But it felt a little disconcerting, too. And, what was that word? Oh…sad.
Looking around, she noticed she'd reached the entrance to the forest—a darker and more succumbing place than the quiet playground. She shrugged, caring less.
It was total darkness when she reached the less scary part of the forest—not that she actually mind—and went to sit under a big, old tree, the full moon enlightening the clearing just enough to see pretty well.
Now what? She's alone, she's grieving, and she had this feeling that any time now her tears would betray her. No, she didn't want to cry—she hated crying. More specifically, she hated looking weak. Pulling her legs up to her chest and burying her face on her knees, she closed her eyes and hugged herself protectively. No crying, Ice Queen. No crying.
The throbbing didn't leave her alone; it was still prodding her heart painfully. Who would've thought she'd ever feel this way? She's the Ice Queen, and she'd lived seventeen years convinced that she'd get what she want—or at least knowing that she's pretty much invincible.
It was very still around her, and as the wind blew and the leaves ruffled, she didn't feel cold at all. She felt numb from anything, but deep inside it was the opposite. Funny, though, 'cause nothing around her seemed the least affected by her down aura. The crickets went along with their nightly singing, the nocturnal creatures doing their own business, and nothing and no one seemed to care about her presence—only until she heard a scrunch somewhere behind her. She wasn't some animal expert, but she was pretty sure that that sound didn't belong to the picture.
She looked over her shoulder, torn between getting scared and angry. Nothing, or no one, should be seeing her now.
Then someone cleared his throat. And by the sound of it, for some reason, she relaxed.
"Uhm, I-I'm sorry if I frightened you…"
Hotaru Imai blinked as the figure emerged from the shadows, the full moon enlightening the intruder's smooth features. And in the midst of the jumbled undercurrent of confusion insider her, she caught her breath when he stepped fully onto the dim light.
His blonde hair seemed to look a shade paler; his blue eyes were smoldering and cold at the same time; and his face was altogether beautiful under the silver light. Weird, she never put much thought on his looks before. And as if to complete the package, he smiled at her.
BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! —"Hey!" —BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!— "Hey, Imai! What're you—" BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! — "Ow!"
"Who told you to come here, Bunny Boy?"
The poor guy winced, flailing his arms in front of him for defense. "I—" BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA — "Hey! N-no one told me, okay?"
Hotaru paused, lowering his Baka Gun a few inches, and then narrowed her eyes at the pretty guy who was nearly curled like a ball. "Then why are you here?"
BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA — "Ouch—hey! Why do you keep on hitting me?"
"You didn't answer my question."
BAKA! BAKA!— "Oww! Hey! I just came, okay?" —BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA!— "Hey! Stop it!"
"Leave me alone."
Ruka Nogi flinched and peeked from below his arms, making sure Hotaru had already kept her gun away—which was kind of disturbing 'cause he was pretty sure she didn't have a bag with her and that she was only in her school uniform—before sighing and sitting up.
"I-I saw you walking alone about an hour ago, and when you made a turn for the Elementary school department, I..uh, I just kind of followed you—" BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA! BAKA — "HEY! What now?"
She glared at him and lowered her weapon again. "So you were the one following me."
It didn't take him long to feel the dizzying warmth of blood rushing up to his face as she pointed it out. "I—I—uh…I was just…"
Hotaru stared at him for a while, as if taking him all in in a second, before looking away. "Whatever."
Taking it as a subtle acceptance, he sat in an Indian sit a few feet from her, slightly angled so that he could see her face, and waited in silence. Though for what, he wasn't quite sure. Either out of pure randomness, or of shrill excitement, he started to study her face.
It was the usual armored expression—the one nobody could get through; the one that seemed to always protect her. But her eyes, they always kind of betray her fortress, for somehow, no matter how strong her façade might look like, he could read her. And right now, he could see something deep down there—something she'd probably chosen to deal with alone.
"You really won't just go, won't you?"
He was pretty much aware how she tried to sound forceful, but somehow she wasn't able to give him that impression enough to keep him away. He shrugged.
She didn't say anything after that; she didn't even try to shoo him off again. To him it was a good sign, but it just wasn't enough. He couldn't just sit there and watch her hurt from the inside. He couldn't just let her deal with it alone. Sure, he wasn't her best friend ever—they barely have their moments as real friends—but then again, they had years of bickering and quarrels; to him they're somehow...connected. At least.
He knew it would be difficult to make her start to talk about it, let alone make her confide to him. But he should try to at least do something.
"I heard the news." He gently started and casually pulled his legs and rested his arms on his knees.
"Everybody did."
He gulped, slightly surprised with her talking. Taking a deep breath, he pursed his lips. "Uhm..d-d'you wanna talk about it?"
"No."
Ouch. He lowered his eyes, and then looked around him. "But you know you have to…"
"But I don't want to."
"Why?"
"Because…" She paused. Hang on, why on earth am I having this conversation with Bunny Boy? She turned to glare at him as he met her eyes. "You should leave now."
"And you think you should stay here?" Ruka replied as gently as he could. "I'll stay, whether you like it or not."
Hotaru bore down on his blue eyes, and even in the dim light, she found his eyes compelling. She looked away, quietly ignoring his reasons but accepting them at the same time. If he didn't want to leave, then she should. But she didn't want to leave, either; and granting that she did, she knew he would just follow her. And her Baka Gun also had its limitations, you know; she can't just keep on hitting him all night. Not that she had plans on spending the whole night with him.
She felt blood rush up to her face at that, and she suddenly found the need to bury her face back on her knees.
"Hey…" He muttered, leaning over to her but not too closely. "Are you okay?"
"Do I look okay, Nogi?"
He sighed. Mustering all the courage within him, he managed to blurt out: "Wh-when is the—the, uh…"
"Yesterday."
"What?"
"You asked about the funeral. I answered you."
"N-no. I- I mean…" Ruka Nogi just couldn't help but stutter. "Y-you didn't go…?"
Hotaru paused at that. "There was no way I could." –and she knew she was lying. She knew that if she wanted to, there could be some way for her to go to her own mother's funeral. The issue didn't lie on the how, it was on the why.
"You could've told us!" –he was desperate now, to help her at least. "W-we could've…I could've asked my—"
She shook her head irritably. "And make such a fuss about it? Never mind."
"But—"
"I could've gone if I wanted to…" She cut in, feeling the emotions edging in. "But they moved the funeral a day earlier…"
"What?"
She met his eyes and felt the heat on them. "She probably didn't want me to see her in that box."
There was silence as Ruka absorbed this. So this was why she'd been acting this way; why she'd stayed; why Mikan's been crying so much; why the Ice Queen just melted.
He wanted to ask why; to know how a mother could want this even in death. But to ask her would be more than rude—she's hurting already, the last thing on his mind was to add up to that hurt.
She was staring at something from afar now. Trailing her line of sight, he thought that maybe her mother just didn't want her daughter to know her suffering—to the point that they didn't want her in the funeral. It was for Hotaru, and not because her mother didn't want her at all.
"But you still want to go."
She frowned and snapped at him. "What do you want, Nogi?"
"What do you want?" He snapped back, only more gently. "Tell me. You can still go there. Now, if you want to. I-I can ask my giant hawk to—"
"No."
"B-but, Hotaru—"
"I would've wanted to see her alive. Not six feet below."
Silence. No, there's no way he could give that to her. He straightened up and sighed.
"If only my brother told me earlier than he did." She muttered; her face still blank with fake indifference. "I would've gone there and would've seen her alive."
He didn't have anything to say at that. He looked down and quietly felt the silent throbbing in his chest. It merely started as a simple prodding from deep down, now as he felt close to her—closest as ever—it felt a lot painful. "I'm sorry."
It took her a few moments to notice him again; and when she did, she eyed him intently, trying to win over the smoldering feelings rioting against the hurt inside her. "For what exactly, Bunny Boy?"
Ruka Nogi flushed as he cleared his throat and stared at his shoes. "For, uh, for denying you your privacy…" He muttered before glancing back to her eyes. "A-and for what happened to your mom…"
She stared at him for a while, wondering when she'd started to feel comfortable around this guy. Yeah, yeah, she thought to herself, looking back to the discarded infatuation she once had towards him before. He's changed, hasn't he? She asked herself. More stupid now than before for hanging out with the Ice Queen in her worst state, but…
She didn't need to finish her thought; and by the way the poor blonde guy seemed to shrink in embarrassment, she knew she had to look away. She nodded at him, not knowing what to say.
He watched her succumb in hurt and it hurt him double. Letting out a shaky breath, he mustered all the courage he had and asked: "Y-you d-didn't cry, did you?"
In spite of herself, she felt like she wanted to let out a short, bitter laugh. Me? Crying? "I don't cry, Bunny Boy."
He tried meeting her eyes, but she didn't look his way as she talked. "Crying won't make you weak."
"But it won't make me any stronger."
"Well…it can make you feel better." He muttered helplessly as she buried her face again.
And that was it, he figured, that was what bothered him. That gesture… The Ice Queen never buries her face on anything, even when she's sleepy. It's as if it was a gesture of weakness; of surrender; of something that's far from Hotaru Imai's nature.
Now he couldn't bear it any longer—the thundering throbbing in his chest as his heart beat furiously. And without even thinking about it, he rose to his feet and walked the few distance that separated them; he fell to his knees beside her and wrapped his arms around her protectively. There was a slight protest as he did this, but she froze when his arms tightened around her.
"I know what you're thinking." He muttered against her smooth, black, hair. "But no one will see you here—no prying eyes to judge you. I'll stay here with you, but I won't look."
Her own arms were limp on her sides, her body frozen in his embrace. She blinked once, her eyelashes brushing against his bare skin as her head rested on the crook of his neck. She could feel her wild pulse on her temples, blood rushing up to her face. She had no idea what's going on; but she was sure about one thing, though: his arms around her felt good.
She was perfectly aware of the closeness of their body, and though she didn't do it in purpose, it was only a matter of time before her breathing went in tune with his. "So you want me to cry." She managed to say under her breath.
"I want you to quit being the Ice Queen—just for tonight."
It didn't take him long to wait; and when she did, it was unmistakable, the wetness on her face as the first tear streaked down her cheek and wet his skin. She was crying. Under normal circumstances he would've frozen in shock and flush when she snaked her slender arms around his neck; but he found himself instinctively tightening his embrace. He felt it—her hurting—and it seemed magnified with their proximity. Though he was pretty sure it would kind of cost his life after this; he had to be the friend the Ice Queen needed at the moment.
The night went on in a blur; neither of them noticing anything specific other than themselves. The next thing he knew, he was already sitting beside her against the tree, still holding her in a tight embrace.
Hotaru fought within her—torn between her mind and heart—for there was no way she should be allowing any guy to hold her like this. But well, she figured she just couldn't shrug him off. Not now, and maybe not so sooner. His arms just felt good—at least that she should've been able to deny to herself. But she just couldn't. Maybe because she didn't feel exactly like herself now—yeah, maybe that.
She felt weak; very, very, weak. Her face was all wet with tears, she felt cold, and she knew Bunny Boy was perfectly aware of that. He knew how vulnerable she was tonight. But Hotaru knew he'd keep his word and not look at her at this state. Somehow, she trusted him with that.
Ruka absentmindedly stroked her head, quietly drifting in his own thoughts as he stared at the empty clearing in front of him. She was still crying; she didn't sound like a wailing girl, though, she was rather…quiet. There would be moments when she would seem to pause for a while as if she fell asleep, and he would feel almost tempted to look at her face, and then she'd stir and tears would start again.
Holding her this close didn't just feel awkward and embarrassing. It felt…kind of fulfilling. And that would be very, very weird, 'cause it's not like holding her close like this was his ultimate dream or something. Looking back, a few years back, maybe the Ice Queen's downfall might pass for something fulfilling… Now it's just the opposite.
Maybe things do change. He thought, closing his eyes. And people, too. He figured that whatever that's happened to either of them so that things could lead this way, doesn't matter much. He decided he shouldn't start denying either. Screaming in his mind right now was the fact that, holding her like this felt right.
Then his stomach grumbled.
He winced—not in pain but in utter irritation for giving 'additional cheesiness' to the moment—and cleared his throat while casually checking if she heard that.
"Well that's deafening."
He flushed.
"Uh…" He stuttered as she slowly moved from his embrace—to his disappointment— slightly able to conceal her vulnerable face from him. "Sorry."
Silence. The wind blew and it sent shivers down her spine, her body reacting to the sudden lessening of warmth. Embracing herself, she scooted closer to the tree. "You do realize what you did tonight, don't you?"
His mouth was kind of gaping, so he closed it first and he stretched before answering. "Well, k-kind of…"
"Good." She replied, her voice sort of raspy, but sounded clearly that she was feeling a lot better now.
"So, uh,…" He mumbled, heart beating furiously. "D-d'you think you should, you know, recharge y-your Baka Gun first? Uh..."
She couldn't help but smirk at his childish guilt, and that made him a little more confused—and scared. "Not tonight, Bunny Boy." She said. Ruka was about to sigh in relief as he absorbed that, but then again she made him nervous with just one move. Crossing her arms against her chest, she scooted closer and put her head back on his chest. "We're on truce tonight."
"Oh. Truce." He muttered dumbly, carefully putting his arm around her and pulling her close. He gulped, fighting the urge to grin to himself like an idiot, and then almost slapped his head inwardly at the sudden realization. "So...you'll— t-torture me tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Oh." He didn't mean to sound all scared, but he guessed she really had that effect on him.
She paused, and then closed her eyes. "By the way..." Snuggling closer to the one guy who didn't listen to her when she told him to leave; to the one guy who didn't know the difference between a 'yes' and a 'no'; to the one guy who stayed with her when she didn't want anyone around; she muttered, listening to this one guy's heartbeat: "Thanks."
She knew that ought to cause him to stutter or something, but he didn't say anything. Risking herself for a peek, Hotaru looked up to his face— he was asleep.
She smirked and listened to his heartbeat again. She scoffed at herself, feeling giddy and all that, and closed her eyes. "Truce, huh?"
A/N: It's done! I know, I know, I'm out of practice... Please let me know what you think about it! Please! Flames? Go ahead! No hard feelings. Your opinions matter so much to me, 'cause I wanna improve, you know. lol.
Thanks for reading! Please review. :]