I do not own Rocket Power or "Adam's Song".
***HEY! YOU BETTER WIPE THAT SHIT-EATING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE BECAUSE THIS SONG-FIC IS A SAD ONE! And, more importantly than that, if you're eating shit and grinning, then today's probably not your day anyway. So, whatever.*** (-Mark Hoppus, Blink 182)
Adam's Song
My name is Maurice Rodriguez. But I go by Twister. Nobody calls me Maurice and lives to tell about it. I am 13 years old. I have gotten teased in school for many years, for many stupid things. Mainly because I didn't follow all the trends in school and I thought for myself. My best friend Otto was teased for doing the same, but not as much as I was. I was an easier target because I was more sensitive.
A couple of weeks before my story starts, I started washing my hands constantly. I was also worried about germs. My mother noticed this, so she took me to a doctor. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and I was put on Paxil for it. Of course Lars always teased me about it, and he would stick me in the trashcan when my parents weren't looking.
But here is where my story starts. It was an ordinary day at school. I was walking through the halls of Western Branch Middle School. I was on my way to my Spanish class when I tripped. Tripping in the halls was a big thing at my school since my school is ridiculously overcrowded. My foot shot up between my thighs and hit the target, which hurt like hell. I closed my eyes as my face turned beet red. When I opened my eyes, I looked up as I saw my worst enemy, Adam Hancock, laughing at me. His foot was still extended, indicating that he had tripped me. The bastard.
~I never thought I'd die alone~
Later on that day was still no prize. Even though Otto and I nearly died of laughter at lunch because of our friend, Eddie, cracking jokes about the craziest things, the rest of the day held doom for me.
~I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?~
After Science class, another enemy of mine, Larry Nespoli, gave me a terrible day. He shoved me into a locker, and an hour later, a janitor heard me banging on the inside of the door and screaming, "Help!" When I was sent to the principal for "horseplay and skipping class", my principal, Mr. Jones, didn't believe me. He suspended me for a week.
~I traced the cord back to the wall. No wonder, it was never plugged in at all~
When my mother came to pick me up after receiving a phone call about my suspension, I told her my side of the story. At least she believed me. She went into the school and argued with Jones. I sat in the car for ten minutes, listening to my Blink 182 CD. When she got back, she told me what happened. He had said to her, "Oh, you're running in here like a gang- banger!" She told me that he had made up some lies, but she knew that he was full of shit. We went home, and I cried on the couch upstairs, even though I watched The Simpsons so that I'd feel better. I felt so bad, not even Homer Simpson could cheer me up. So, I took a nap.
~I took my time, I hurried up~
To make matters worse, Lars came home. He was in a local college, so he didn't have to live in a dorm or any of that crap. He woke me up by punching me in the eye. When my mother saw me come down the stairs with a black eye, she punished Lars. His excuse was that he was playing, and that he accidentally punched my eye, but she didn't buy it. It was then that I started to get fed up with my life. Not only did I have a jerk brother teasing me, but I had kids at school making matters worse. Life just wasn't worth living anymore.
~The choice was mine, I didn't think enough~
The next day, my mother noticed that my hands were extremely red. "You're still washing your hands constantly, aren't you?" she asked me. I nodded as she took some lotion and spread it all over my hands. She called my doctor and took me back up to the office. I had my Paxil bumped up to 60 mg.
A few days later, she noticed that I was more depressed than ever. I was, for some weird reason. I knew that my Paxil level was too high, but I didn't feel that I could afford to have it bumped down. I just said that everything was fine, even though it wasn't. I decided that I would go to Mad Town, but I remembered that it was closed because it was a school day, and didn't open until 3 PM. So I took another nap. That was all I did during my suspension. Nap and watch The Simpsons. I just didn't feel like living anymore.
~I'm too depressed to go on~
When I was allowed back into school, I met more trouble. Adam had passed around a picture of me with disgusting features, making me look like a sick monkey. He kept saying that it was me, but it certainly wasn't. Otto told me that they were idiots and that he had my back no matter what, but I still felt as depressed as ever. During my English class, I started imagining of killing myself. I thought of huffing whiteout and spray cans until my lungs just gave out. I wondered what the world would be like without me. Probably a much better place.
~You'll be sorry when I'm gone~
I began to think about my earlier days. Back when I was 11, and my worst problem was Lars. Now he was still a huge problem, but I had problems bigger than him. I remembered back when Otto and his sister, Reggie, and our friend, Sam, would just surf and skate all day. We also constantly hung out at the Shore Shack, which was owned by Otto and Reggie's dad, Raymundo. Our friend Tito also owned it. But now those days were gone. The Shore Shack had been put out of business by another restaurant called the Golem Grill.
~I never conquered, rarely came, 16 just held such better days~
Back then I had felt alive. Now I couldn't even use alive in a sentence with the name Twister. I got sick of my life. I decided that I would eventually kill myself; I wouldn't even live to see my eighteenth birthday. But who would care? Nobody cared about me. The people who did really just pitied me, or so I thought. I felt like such a loser, or else I wouldn't be treated like dirt at school.
~Days when I still felt alive~
Things at home were not any better. One night, for some weird reason, my mother was extremely crabby. I thought it would only be for a night or so, so it didn't bother me. After a week she had gotten really bitchy with me. She always swore at me and hollered at the top of her lungs over my room being messy. It bothered her in the past, but never that much that she would holler at me. Lars even started to notice this, and he took charge of this. He whomped me more than ever, and my mother would just yell at me for "letting him get under my skin." That added more suicidal thoughts into my head.
~I couldn't wait to get outside,
The world is wide,
Too late to try.
The tour was over, we survived.
I couldn't wait 'till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone.~
Between school and home, life had become a living hell for me. I was getting as fed up as can be between Lars whomping me without Mom stopping him and getting teased in school. Not to mention, my OCD was attacking me every waking moment. My hands were turning raw and bled a lot from washing my hands too much. But I didn't do anything about it because I felt that the blood leaking out of my dry, raw hands was the only way to express my pain. But that was nothing compared to what I was going to do to myself in the future.
~I never thought I'd die alone~
I remember one afternoon, after getting shoved against a locker at school and everybody blaming me because the kid who did it got in trouble, I came home. Lars punched me right in the face, and my mother just yelled at me for "letting Lars push my buttons". I told her to wake up and see what he was doing to me, and she just put me in my room for the rest of the night for talking back to her. That night was quite a night for me. I took some sandpaper from a science project and rubbed my hands even more raw then before. My hands bled a lot and it REALLY hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my heart. That night I also decided to attempt my suicide. I sniffed the life out of bottles of whiteout. I got dizzy and my head hurt, but that was all. I didn't want to stab or shoot myself for my suicide because it would be too painful, so I decided that huffing was the way to go. I didn't want to hang myself because it would be too hard and hurt WAY too much. But I knew one thing; my time here on Earth was running short. But it wasn't like anyone would really notice that I was gone.
~Another 6 months, I'll be unknown~
I decided that Otto could have my skateboard and my hockey stick since he was my only true friend. He was the only one who really cared about me. At first I thought that he, along with the others, pitied me, but after thinking about it, I realized that he truly did care about me. I knew that if I killed myself, it would upset him, but it was my only way out.
~Give all my things to all my friends~
I decided that Lars would probably appreciate my room for an indoor hockey room. My parents would sell all of my things and forget about me. But it wasn't like they loved me anyways. The way they always treated Lars like a prince and treated me like a dog, only worse. They let that bastard whomp me! They also let Pi and Sputz join Lars! They were the worst parents in the world, and I knew that they would love to see my empty room. But for now, I just stayed in there the whole time, thinking of suicide tactics.
~You'll never step foot in my room again.
You'll close it off, you'll board it up.~
I looked back at a time when I was three. I was walking in the hallway, and Lars pushed me over. My apple juice spilled all over Mom's rug, and she hollered at me for it. When I thought about it, I realized that I had often gotten blamed for the things that Lars did. I wanted to kill myself, and it was partly my parents' fault.
~Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall?
Please tell Mom this is ALL her fault~
On April 24, 2001, it was the worst day of my life. Things were OK at school until History class. Otto and I were forced to work with Larry and this other kid, Kevin Savage, who picked on me as well. I was very steamed up, and I wrote mean names for them on MY piece of paper THAT WASN'T GOING TO BE TURNED IN, and when they were being nosy and saw it, they told my teacher. They taunted me for the rest of the day about it, and finally, I told Otto of my plans. He told me not to do it, but like I said, it was my only way out.
~I never conquered rarely came, 16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive,
I couldn't wait to get outside
The world is wide,
Too late to try.
The tour was over, we survived.
I couldn't wait 'till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone.~
That afternoon, I just busted open to my parents. They couldn't believe it. They had me put into a psychological hospital. I was crying the whole time when we were in the car. I had to stay for three to five days, and I couldn't believe that I was in a hospital. When I talked to the doctor, I thought deeply about my need for suicide, and realized that I was 99% sure that I wasn't going to do it, because I was too scared. However, I decided to act on that 1%. So I went to rehab for a few days. This was to be a secret in the family, and even Lars kept it. I think that me going to the hospital made him realize that he couldn't act the way he did to me, because he never teased me again after I went.
After three days, I was discharged. I felt a lot better because not only did some of the staff up there drive me nuts, but I learned that suicide is not the answer. I learned that my family did care about me. We still had our fights now and then, and sometimes my mother did wrong, but we got through it all. Lars was nicer to me, and so were Pi and Sputz. I told only Otto of my hospital trip after he swore not to tell, because I couldn't stand keeping something like that from my best friend. He was shocked at first, but he was happy that I didn't do it.
~I never conquered, rarely came tomorrow holds such better days.
Days when I can still feel alive,
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide,
The time goes by.
The tour is over, I survived.
I can't wait 'till I get home.
To pass the time in my room alone.~
I'm not saying that to this day that I am the happiest guy alive. I have my ups and downs; I have days when I'm severely depressed. But I don't think of suicide. I just do one of my hobbies, and a lot of times I forget about what bothered me earlier. Once in a while I will have a day when I say to myself, "Oh, I hate you, Twister! Everybody hates you!", but I never think of killing myself. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you, the reader, that SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER. It just causes more problems. So if you know someone who may be thinking of suicide, please have him or her read my story. Hopefully it will help those who are on the path to suicide, as well as comfort the family members of people who have taken their own lives.
***HEY! YOU BETTER WIPE THAT SHIT-EATING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE BECAUSE THIS SONG-FIC IS A SAD ONE! And, more importantly than that, if you're eating shit and grinning, then today's probably not your day anyway. So, whatever.*** (-Mark Hoppus, Blink 182)
Adam's Song
My name is Maurice Rodriguez. But I go by Twister. Nobody calls me Maurice and lives to tell about it. I am 13 years old. I have gotten teased in school for many years, for many stupid things. Mainly because I didn't follow all the trends in school and I thought for myself. My best friend Otto was teased for doing the same, but not as much as I was. I was an easier target because I was more sensitive.
A couple of weeks before my story starts, I started washing my hands constantly. I was also worried about germs. My mother noticed this, so she took me to a doctor. I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and I was put on Paxil for it. Of course Lars always teased me about it, and he would stick me in the trashcan when my parents weren't looking.
But here is where my story starts. It was an ordinary day at school. I was walking through the halls of Western Branch Middle School. I was on my way to my Spanish class when I tripped. Tripping in the halls was a big thing at my school since my school is ridiculously overcrowded. My foot shot up between my thighs and hit the target, which hurt like hell. I closed my eyes as my face turned beet red. When I opened my eyes, I looked up as I saw my worst enemy, Adam Hancock, laughing at me. His foot was still extended, indicating that he had tripped me. The bastard.
~I never thought I'd die alone~
Later on that day was still no prize. Even though Otto and I nearly died of laughter at lunch because of our friend, Eddie, cracking jokes about the craziest things, the rest of the day held doom for me.
~I laughed the loudest, who'd have known?~
After Science class, another enemy of mine, Larry Nespoli, gave me a terrible day. He shoved me into a locker, and an hour later, a janitor heard me banging on the inside of the door and screaming, "Help!" When I was sent to the principal for "horseplay and skipping class", my principal, Mr. Jones, didn't believe me. He suspended me for a week.
~I traced the cord back to the wall. No wonder, it was never plugged in at all~
When my mother came to pick me up after receiving a phone call about my suspension, I told her my side of the story. At least she believed me. She went into the school and argued with Jones. I sat in the car for ten minutes, listening to my Blink 182 CD. When she got back, she told me what happened. He had said to her, "Oh, you're running in here like a gang- banger!" She told me that he had made up some lies, but she knew that he was full of shit. We went home, and I cried on the couch upstairs, even though I watched The Simpsons so that I'd feel better. I felt so bad, not even Homer Simpson could cheer me up. So, I took a nap.
~I took my time, I hurried up~
To make matters worse, Lars came home. He was in a local college, so he didn't have to live in a dorm or any of that crap. He woke me up by punching me in the eye. When my mother saw me come down the stairs with a black eye, she punished Lars. His excuse was that he was playing, and that he accidentally punched my eye, but she didn't buy it. It was then that I started to get fed up with my life. Not only did I have a jerk brother teasing me, but I had kids at school making matters worse. Life just wasn't worth living anymore.
~The choice was mine, I didn't think enough~
The next day, my mother noticed that my hands were extremely red. "You're still washing your hands constantly, aren't you?" she asked me. I nodded as she took some lotion and spread it all over my hands. She called my doctor and took me back up to the office. I had my Paxil bumped up to 60 mg.
A few days later, she noticed that I was more depressed than ever. I was, for some weird reason. I knew that my Paxil level was too high, but I didn't feel that I could afford to have it bumped down. I just said that everything was fine, even though it wasn't. I decided that I would go to Mad Town, but I remembered that it was closed because it was a school day, and didn't open until 3 PM. So I took another nap. That was all I did during my suspension. Nap and watch The Simpsons. I just didn't feel like living anymore.
~I'm too depressed to go on~
When I was allowed back into school, I met more trouble. Adam had passed around a picture of me with disgusting features, making me look like a sick monkey. He kept saying that it was me, but it certainly wasn't. Otto told me that they were idiots and that he had my back no matter what, but I still felt as depressed as ever. During my English class, I started imagining of killing myself. I thought of huffing whiteout and spray cans until my lungs just gave out. I wondered what the world would be like without me. Probably a much better place.
~You'll be sorry when I'm gone~
I began to think about my earlier days. Back when I was 11, and my worst problem was Lars. Now he was still a huge problem, but I had problems bigger than him. I remembered back when Otto and his sister, Reggie, and our friend, Sam, would just surf and skate all day. We also constantly hung out at the Shore Shack, which was owned by Otto and Reggie's dad, Raymundo. Our friend Tito also owned it. But now those days were gone. The Shore Shack had been put out of business by another restaurant called the Golem Grill.
~I never conquered, rarely came, 16 just held such better days~
Back then I had felt alive. Now I couldn't even use alive in a sentence with the name Twister. I got sick of my life. I decided that I would eventually kill myself; I wouldn't even live to see my eighteenth birthday. But who would care? Nobody cared about me. The people who did really just pitied me, or so I thought. I felt like such a loser, or else I wouldn't be treated like dirt at school.
~Days when I still felt alive~
Things at home were not any better. One night, for some weird reason, my mother was extremely crabby. I thought it would only be for a night or so, so it didn't bother me. After a week she had gotten really bitchy with me. She always swore at me and hollered at the top of her lungs over my room being messy. It bothered her in the past, but never that much that she would holler at me. Lars even started to notice this, and he took charge of this. He whomped me more than ever, and my mother would just yell at me for "letting him get under my skin." That added more suicidal thoughts into my head.
~I couldn't wait to get outside,
The world is wide,
Too late to try.
The tour was over, we survived.
I couldn't wait 'till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone.~
Between school and home, life had become a living hell for me. I was getting as fed up as can be between Lars whomping me without Mom stopping him and getting teased in school. Not to mention, my OCD was attacking me every waking moment. My hands were turning raw and bled a lot from washing my hands too much. But I didn't do anything about it because I felt that the blood leaking out of my dry, raw hands was the only way to express my pain. But that was nothing compared to what I was going to do to myself in the future.
~I never thought I'd die alone~
I remember one afternoon, after getting shoved against a locker at school and everybody blaming me because the kid who did it got in trouble, I came home. Lars punched me right in the face, and my mother just yelled at me for "letting Lars push my buttons". I told her to wake up and see what he was doing to me, and she just put me in my room for the rest of the night for talking back to her. That night was quite a night for me. I took some sandpaper from a science project and rubbed my hands even more raw then before. My hands bled a lot and it REALLY hurt, but the pain was nothing compared to the pain I was feeling in my heart. That night I also decided to attempt my suicide. I sniffed the life out of bottles of whiteout. I got dizzy and my head hurt, but that was all. I didn't want to stab or shoot myself for my suicide because it would be too painful, so I decided that huffing was the way to go. I didn't want to hang myself because it would be too hard and hurt WAY too much. But I knew one thing; my time here on Earth was running short. But it wasn't like anyone would really notice that I was gone.
~Another 6 months, I'll be unknown~
I decided that Otto could have my skateboard and my hockey stick since he was my only true friend. He was the only one who really cared about me. At first I thought that he, along with the others, pitied me, but after thinking about it, I realized that he truly did care about me. I knew that if I killed myself, it would upset him, but it was my only way out.
~Give all my things to all my friends~
I decided that Lars would probably appreciate my room for an indoor hockey room. My parents would sell all of my things and forget about me. But it wasn't like they loved me anyways. The way they always treated Lars like a prince and treated me like a dog, only worse. They let that bastard whomp me! They also let Pi and Sputz join Lars! They were the worst parents in the world, and I knew that they would love to see my empty room. But for now, I just stayed in there the whole time, thinking of suicide tactics.
~You'll never step foot in my room again.
You'll close it off, you'll board it up.~
I looked back at a time when I was three. I was walking in the hallway, and Lars pushed me over. My apple juice spilled all over Mom's rug, and she hollered at me for it. When I thought about it, I realized that I had often gotten blamed for the things that Lars did. I wanted to kill myself, and it was partly my parents' fault.
~Remember the time that I spilled the cup
Of apple juice in the hall?
Please tell Mom this is ALL her fault~
On April 24, 2001, it was the worst day of my life. Things were OK at school until History class. Otto and I were forced to work with Larry and this other kid, Kevin Savage, who picked on me as well. I was very steamed up, and I wrote mean names for them on MY piece of paper THAT WASN'T GOING TO BE TURNED IN, and when they were being nosy and saw it, they told my teacher. They taunted me for the rest of the day about it, and finally, I told Otto of my plans. He told me not to do it, but like I said, it was my only way out.
~I never conquered rarely came, 16 just held such better days
Days when I still felt alive,
I couldn't wait to get outside
The world is wide,
Too late to try.
The tour was over, we survived.
I couldn't wait 'till I got home
To pass the time in my room alone.~
That afternoon, I just busted open to my parents. They couldn't believe it. They had me put into a psychological hospital. I was crying the whole time when we were in the car. I had to stay for three to five days, and I couldn't believe that I was in a hospital. When I talked to the doctor, I thought deeply about my need for suicide, and realized that I was 99% sure that I wasn't going to do it, because I was too scared. However, I decided to act on that 1%. So I went to rehab for a few days. This was to be a secret in the family, and even Lars kept it. I think that me going to the hospital made him realize that he couldn't act the way he did to me, because he never teased me again after I went.
After three days, I was discharged. I felt a lot better because not only did some of the staff up there drive me nuts, but I learned that suicide is not the answer. I learned that my family did care about me. We still had our fights now and then, and sometimes my mother did wrong, but we got through it all. Lars was nicer to me, and so were Pi and Sputz. I told only Otto of my hospital trip after he swore not to tell, because I couldn't stand keeping something like that from my best friend. He was shocked at first, but he was happy that I didn't do it.
~I never conquered, rarely came tomorrow holds such better days.
Days when I can still feel alive,
When I can't wait to get outside
The world is wide,
The time goes by.
The tour is over, I survived.
I can't wait 'till I get home.
To pass the time in my room alone.~
I'm not saying that to this day that I am the happiest guy alive. I have my ups and downs; I have days when I'm severely depressed. But I don't think of suicide. I just do one of my hobbies, and a lot of times I forget about what bothered me earlier. Once in a while I will have a day when I say to myself, "Oh, I hate you, Twister! Everybody hates you!", but I never think of killing myself. I would like to take this opportunity to tell you, the reader, that SUICIDE IS NOT THE ANSWER. It just causes more problems. So if you know someone who may be thinking of suicide, please have him or her read my story. Hopefully it will help those who are on the path to suicide, as well as comfort the family members of people who have taken their own lives.