"Axel…"
"…He…he left me…"
"Axel, please…"
"Why…Why
did he leave me…? Did I…Did I do something wrong?"
"Axel,
please…please; you need to eat something."
"…Demyx?"
"Yes,
Axel…It's me." The musician whispered softly, cupping the
red-head's cheeks in both hands, searching for some sign of
recognition in Axel's eyes as he held his head straight and up.
"It's me. Look at me. I'm here for you…it'll be
okay…"
Axel's eyes met Demyx's, but the Nocturne saw only
a glazed look staring back at him.
Empty eyes. Hollow eyes. A broken spirit.
"Axel…" He whispered again, shifting
closer on the bed, swallowing hard.
"Oh…Oh, Demyx…" Axel
whispered back, biting his bottom lip. "He's gone…he's
really, really gone…hasn't he?"
"Yes, Axel." Demyx
murmured, trying his best to soothe the Flurry. "It'll be
alright, though- because I'm here now…"
"Why did he go?"
Axel said hoarsely. "Wh…Was it because of me…?"
"Axel,
you need to eat something…you haven't eaten for days…" Demyx
prompted, pushing a plate of sandwiches at Axel. The other regarded
them blankly, picking one up after much pressing from Demyx, but not
eating it. The blonde male sighed; it was a start, at least- more
than anyone else had managed to get Axel to do…
Shifting a
little closer, Demyx cocked his head to one side and sighed, seeing
Axel gazing at a far corner of the room, eyes unfocused. Axel was
buried into his own little well of vagueness now- which Demyx would
have to try damnably hard to haul him out of…
"Axel…he, he
didn't leave because of you…" Demyx offered, putting an arm
around his friend's shoulders. There was no sign that Axel even
felt it.
"He left because…he needed to sort something out own
his own, okay?" Demyx continued. Axel shook his head, staring
morosely at the bedsheets.
"I shoulda stopped him, Dem…" he
muttered. "I shoulda stopped him…Xemnas is gonna kill him…it's
all my fault…"
"No, no!" Demyx said, pulling the other
close to him and wrapping an arm around him. "Axel- it wasn't
your fault! It wasn't your fault Roxas left!"
Axel gave no
resistance as he was pulled against the blonde, simply stared once
again and hunched up.
"Oh, Axel…" Demyx whispered, combing
his fingers through that mass of red hair, eyes closed. "Why is it
such a big thing for you?"
"He was…he was special, Dem…"
Axel replied, closing his own eyes. "He…he made me
feel…He…"
Demyx knew that they didn't have hearts. He knew
what he had been told over and over again...
…but the pain and the hate that he felt at that moment…it couldn't possibly be just a shadow of a memory of the emotion…
How could Roxas have done this!? He was everything to Axel! Everything that the Flurry had ever wanted since Roxas came was centred around that kid! Demyx knew it was wrong of him…but he wished that Axel had never stumbled across Roxas- that Roxas had never been found by Xemnas and brought to the World That Never Was. He wanted things to be the way they were before Roxas came along and messed everything up and ruined it all beyond repair.
In short…he wanted Axel to care for him the way he had once done.
To start with- they had been friends; Axel had been given the task of looking after the newbie and they'd both found that they got along merrily. After a few weeks, the two were close. After a month, Demyx found himself regularly in Axel's bed, or sharing his own with the pyromaniac...which he hadn't minded at all. Axel was always unnaturally warm- but that was his element, after all; so he had made for pleasant company in a cold bed at night. All the other members had rolled their eyes and teased and taunted- just as every couple was teased here; Xigbar and Xaldin, Xemnas and Saix (although this was done behind their backs), Lexaeus and Zexion…Poor Vexen…he'd been left lonely until other members had joined. Luxord- the suave, British blonde who had charmed his way into everyone else's bed but theirs; Marluxia, the surprisingly alluring assassin, who made a scandal by bedding with both Saix and Xemnas…Axel always mentioned something about a Diviner-sandwich, which Demyx didn't understand what he meant by- but Axel used to pat his head and ruffle his hair up fondly, telling him not to worry about it. Larxene too came along- but Demyx got along well enough with her because she tolerated him. Everything had been going just fine- everyone had partners and pairs and sometimes threes or fours; everyone shared, everyone got along just fine. Demyx shared Axel with Saix, sometimes, and Axel shared Demyx with Xigbar. It was all perfectly fair and everything worked…
And then…
Then he'd shown up…Roxas.
Straight
away- something was wrong with him. He made the Organisation up to
thirteen; Demyx didn't like it because it was an odd number and
wasn't divisible by anything. Axel had laughed and called him
autistic, poking him in the forehead and telling him to stop being
such an idiot.
…Then it got worse.
Axel found Roxas.
Axel befriended Roxas.
This, Demyx didn't mind; even if Axel was spending a little more time away from him.
Axel spent lots of time with Roxas.
Axel became close with Roxas.
Axel began calling Roxas his best friend.
Demyx was forced to realise that his bed was empty a lot more often…
Axel got very, very close to Roxas.
Demyx heard a rumour that Axel and Roxas were lovers.
He'd asked Axel about this next time Axel came to his bed. Axel had 'umm-ed' and 'aah-ed' and eventually distracted Demyx with some good, hard loving. Demyx had woken up alone the next day; Axel never left him to wake up alone…
…But it was just sharing, right? Just sharing. Demyx could share- he didn't mind sharing.
…Roxas didn't like sharing at all. Roxas wanted Axel all to himself. Demyx had been incredibly upset by this- asking Axel why Roxas was saying these things. Was it true? Had Roxas really demanded exclusive rights to the Nocturne's lover? Axel had 'Umm-ed' and 'Aah-ed' and 'You know, Demmy-ed' a lot more, then left Demyx's room the next morning.
…That was the last time that Demyx had gone to bed with Axel. In fact- that was the last time that he saw Axel alone for a great period of time. The next time that he saw the Flurry was when he had heard that Roxas had turned his back on the Organisation and Axel was nowhere to be found. Of course; Demyx knew where to look for Axel…so here they were…
Axel was so tense in Demyx's
arms; the Nocturne could feel the heat radiating from him and smell
smoke in the air- a sure sign that Axel was seething. Poor Axel…he
didn't know how to cope with this…
"Axel…" Demyx
whispered softly, kissing Axel's temple. "I'm here…"
Axel
didn't seem to hear him, just leaning into that light kiss; so
then, Demyx understood. Axel needed Roxas…just one last time…Needed
to be told physically that it was alright; he was still wanted.
Demyx
looked down at Axel, lonely and afraid and broken in his arms, pining
for a boy who didn't give a damn and who had vanished from his life
as quickly as he had entered it.
Laying Axel down on the
sheets, Demyx unzipped Axel's coat and unbuttoned his lover's
trousers, peeling them down from his hips and looking back up at that
troubled face once more; Axel hadn't registered being
undressed…that was a bad sign…
Demyx did the only thing he
could do for Axel; he did what Roxas would do. He leant forward and
took the Flurry into his mouth, sucking softly and smoothly,
innocently- like Roxas would do…
Soon, Axel began to whine and
pant and grow hard in that warm, moist cavern. Whimpers were dragged
from his lips and he soon began to writhe as pleasure- pleasure he
had needed for so long- seeped through his veins, a familiar warmth
building in his stomach. Demyx sucked dutifully, grazing the head
with each lick and swallowing down Axel's length willingly when the
red-head twined a hand into his hair, pleading without words. Demyx
felt a small sense of pride; Roxas could not do this for Axel.
When
a name crawled up from Axel's throat, Demyx stopped still, Axel
half in his mouth.
"R-Roxasss!"
That stung…that hurt more
than Demyx would ever understand…but after another desperate
whimper of that name, he continued. Axel needed this…needed him…he
could be Roxas tonight…just to help Axel…
…Anything to help his Axel…
For a few more minutes, this continued-
normally, Demyx would tease and toy; but tonight, Axel needed to come
with the image of Roxas- to think that Roxas was helping him. It
would break that spell he was under…Demyx could put aside the ache
in his own chest for now. After a while, the inevitable happened.
With a sharp cry of Roxas' name, Axel came hopelessly and
helplessly into Demyx's mouth- the Nocturne swallowing every drop
down as Axel released dry sobs, keening now for affection; for a body
in his arms.
"R-Roxas! Roxas!" He whispered, eyes closed, body
sweat-slick and softening. Demyx wiped his lips on the sleeve of his
coat, moving up to wrap his arms around the Flurry, who shuddered and
quaked and whispered for the boy who was not there. Demyx shushed him
and soothed him and soon Axel had fallen into a dreamless sleep, the
frown on his brow lessening.
Demyx looked down at the
sleeping male, his own chest protesting a heartache that couldn't
possibly be there.
"I gave you Roxas…" he whispered softly,
planting a kiss to Axel's forehead and murming by the red-head's
ear. "…Now give me back Axel…"
