DISCLAIMER: SO NOT MINE!

NOTES: Right ….You can all blame Tori deathangel for me writing this! She got me going with her suggestions/ challenge  on the Jaynegang!!!

LONG LIVE THE GANG ……so here goes a short ficlet on nekkid Jayne. It´s a little silly so humor me!

Aw C´mon …you didn´t really think I could keep River out of this, did ya???

NOT A GIRL

"Are you naked?" were the first words Jayne heard after breaking the surface. And the sight that greeted him was enough to make him take a few forceful strokes backwards towards the middle of the lake.

" Whatcha´ doin´here?" he sputtered. He had made damn well sure that not a soul was around before he had left his clothes behind a rock and dived into the cold water of the lake. It was almost dark but he could see her quite well in the fading light of the day, framed by the last red- orange rays of the sun disappearing behind the mountains. She cocked her head to the side, taking another careful step towards the edge of the lake until the water licked at her naked feet and giggled.

"Cold …"

"Where's you brother?"

River Tam sat down in the sand, pulling her knees up to her chest and shrugged.

"Not here ….there's just me." She narrowed her eyes at him, one hand playing with the water.

What the gorram´ hell was she doing here? Now he couldn't even take a swim without the loon tracking him down?

Not that he'd ever been the bashful kind, but somehow he sure as hell didn't feel comfortable with the idea of that girl seeing him in his birthday suit! Apart from the fact that her brother would probably try to geld him in his sleep ….. with a rusty spoon and with the captain holding him down, that darn crazy girl was too handy with a knife and who knew what went on in her crazy head.

"You are naked, aren't you?" She asked again stretching out her legs so that the hem of her dress got soaked by the water.

Jayne swallowed hard. This was so not good. The thought of her making off with his clothes crossed his mind.

"It's hard to swim with your clothes on …. You could drown like that. Not a good death …not a good feeling. And the water looks so black …."

"Yeah … aha, so why don't you go back to the ship? Must be getting´ scared out here all alone, with the place getting dark and all."

River looked around, shrugging again.

"I´m not alone, you are here." She said unperturbed.

Jayne made a face, trying to stay calm and not yell at her to leave him the hell alone. The water had been cool and refreshing, but it was getting really cold really fast. He cursed under his breath. There he was paddling in the middle of the lake like some gorram ´dog ready to drown any minute! What the hell was she thinking?

River giggled again but this time her giggle blossomed into a soft, gurgling laugh.

She nodded to herself, getting to her feet.

"You are naked, that is fine …you can come out. I will not look."

Was the ruttin´girl kidding him? Did she think this was funny?

"You don´t need to be ashamed ….I promise!" She said shaking her head.

Jayne was close to telling her that there was nothing he had to be ashamed for sure! Had half a mind of proving it to her too.

She elicited another giggle. Then she held her hand in front of her lips as though she was surprised. Jayne couldn´t make out her face in the dark anymore, he could tell that something was going on.

Great! Him and the crazy girl alone, and with him naked and all!

"Hey ….you alright…..crazy girl?"

She looked up then, holding her head high.

"Yes …see ….alright. Nothing amiss….I can be a real girl sometimes! Playing and laughing…..I can be real like now. You can come out …..I won´t look!"

She turned around, hugging herself. Still Jayne couldn´t help himself, keeping an eye on her as he waded out of the water, putting his clothes back on as fast as he could.

She just stood there, humming to herself as she looked up to the stars, her petite frame swaying slightly.

He was about to pull his shirt over his head when she suddenly turned to him, shoving her tangled hair over her shoulder with one hand.

Jayne stared back at her, frozen in the motion.

" What?" he bellowed at her, half expecting her to start screaming bloody murder just for the hell of getting him in trouble with Mal and the rest of the crew.

"Jayne ´s a girl´s name." she said simply, hunching her shoulders as though she was cold.

Jayne glowered at her, but before he could even open his mouth to give her a piece of his mind on a subject he thought they had already covered, she was talking again.

"It´s a name ….it´s not who you are or where you live. I might flow in and out, but I´m no River. I know you ain´t no girl….."

Jayne pulled the shirt over his head, simply returning her stare for a while.

There was nothing he could say. She had actually tried to talk to him …in kind. And the loon had made sense too!

" Let´s get you back to the ship before you brother and Mal get all panicky and I go out the airlock as soon as we hit orbit."

On the short walk back to the ship River skipped ahead of him a few steps, then fell in to step at his side…..taking two steps where he took one, just to keep up with him. The wind had picked up, tugging at her wild hair and flimsy dress.

"Here …better take that. Mal´s gonna ruttin´ kill me if I let you catch a cold or some such."

The darn girl looked at him strange but pulled his jacket around her shoulders none the less.

"River!" Simon yelled….running towards them from the ship.

"Where´ve you been Mei- Mei……" His eyes shot from his sister to Jayne.

"What did you do?"

"Got lost ….got dark. Jayne brought me home."

Jayne arched his eyebrows at her account of the whole story, but he was sure as hell not contradicting anything she was saying. Anything he might contribute to the story would not go down well with anybody……especially the part with the being naked!

"Ohh …really?" Simon´s face took on a confused expression.

"Gave me his jacket ….I was cold." She shrugged off the jacket that seemed to dwarf her size even more and held it out to Jayne.

" I´m tired now …." She said, walking past the Captain who had just appeared on the loading ramp. Simon gave Jayne a thankful nod, before he followed his sister.

"Found the lost lamb out in the cold and took her back home, ha?" Mal asked with a raised brow.

" Aw C´mon Mal! You know …the girl always runs around , being crazy and all!" Jayne said gruffly.

"Oh I know …but what I don´t know: How come your clothes are soaking wet?"