Hello people! This my first oneshot, so tell me what you think! (I say that a lot, don't I?) Oh, and to all the people who have asked if I'm writing a third story, this is not the one I told you about. I just felt like writing it. I'm still working on the other one. Reviews are great and Flames will be posted on my (currently empty) List of Flames.

Special Announcement: New Baten Kaitos challenge! Let's get 200 stories up before New Years!

Disclaimer: I own Baten Kaitos. Unfortunately, buying the game does not give me the rights to it.

Kalas was decorating one of the classrooms in the School of Magic for their annual Thanksgiving festival. The others in the group were each decorating their designated area of the school.

Why? Because the All Mighty Guardian Spirit said to, that's why.

Anyways, Kalas had only a few more decorations left. He turned to a giant plastic cornucopia and thought about where to put it.

"I think it should go by the door," his Guardian Spirit commented.

"Really? I think it should hang from the ceiling," Kalas said.

"It would be better by the door," the Spirit insisted.

"But then people would only see it when they first come in!"

"But it would be a nice piece to get the conversation started!"

"It should hang from the ceiling," Kalas said firmly.

"But nobody will see it if it goes on the ceiling!" the Spirit protested.

"Yes they will! It's huge, how would they miss it?" Kalas questioned.

"I don't know about you, but when I go into parties I don't look at the ceiling saying 'Oh my wow, look at all these decorations that people have decided to put on the ceiling!'" the Spirit said sarcastically.

"Don't be ridiculous, people can't miss this thing! We could use some rope to hang it lower, so that it's right above people's heads," Kalas suggested.

"What about the tall people? You want the tall people to hit their heads on it?"

"We'd hang it high enough so that nobody would hit their heads on it, ok?"

"How do you know how tall the tallest person is?"

"I'm sure that eight or nine feet off the ground will be fine," Kalas said. "Nobody I've ever seen was taller than nine feet tall."

"Have you seen everyone in the whole world?"

"Well, no b-"

"Have you even seen everyone in Anuenue?"

"No, but-"

"Then that settles that."

"Look, I'm just going to hang it from the ceiling-"

"But what if it falls? It could crush someone!" the Spirit protested.

"It won't fall, and it's not that heavy anyways," Kalas said.

"It could kill a baby!" the Spirit fretted.

"...there won't even be any babies here, you have to be a student to come," Kalas explained.

"Well, what if one of the girls is pregnant? Do you want to kill the pregnant girl? the Guardian Spirit questioned.

"No! And besides, this is going to be the room the teenagers come to; nobody in here should be pregnant..."

"It doesn't matter if they shouldn't be pregnant, it matters if they are!"

"Then we won't let any pregnant girls in!"

"What?! You're only going to deny entrance to GIRLS???" the Spirit said accusatorily.

"We'll, it would be their fault..." Kalas said.

"It's just as much the father's fault!"

"Well, if they know who the father is, we can kick them out,"

"So only girls can get kicked out directly? Are you sexist?"

"No, that's not it!" Kalas protested.

"Kalas, have you ever been pregnant?!"

"What? No! I'm a man!"

"Boy,"the Spirit corrected.

"Whatever! And we could just-"

"No! End of conversation! The cornucopia goes by the door!"

"Ceiling!"

"Door!"

"Ceiling!"

"We could make it a piñata," Kalas suggested.

"But it's NOT a piñata!"

"We could make it one! We could fill it with candy and give people sticks-"

"Do you want a lawsuit?!"

"Huh?" Kalas asked stupidly.

"You're seriously about to give a bunch of crazy teenagers sticks to hit things with? Are you insane?"

"Well...we could supervise them!"

"Uh-huh. Good luck with that. Especially once they get all that candy and sugar," the Spirit said sarcastically.

"Well then, we could fill it with fruit. Like a real cornucopia," Kalas offered.

"So you want people to hit fruit with a stick until it's all mushy, then have it fall on them?!"

"Well...I mean...we could fill it with apples! Then they would have apple sauce!"

"Do you REALLY think that the guests want apple sauce falling all over them? Especially when they know it was you and they're armed with sticks?"

"Forget the fruit then. We could put a turkey in it and-"

"A live turkey?"

"Yeah! And then it would come out-"

"You want to put a live turkey in a dark, airless container, have teenagers hit it with sticks, then have it fall to it's death?!"the Spirit said angrily, "That's animal cruelty! You could be arrested for that!"

"No, I meant-"

"I could call the cops right now!" the Spirit said while pulling out a cell phone.

"What? You wouldn't!" Kalas panicked.

"Animal hater!"

"No, that's not what I-ok, no turkey piñatas!"

"What's wrong with turkeys?" the Spirit asked.

"Nothings wrong with-"

"I suppose that you're just not going to let turkeys in, huh?"

"Well, no, actually," Kalas said slowly.

"You're...you're...you're an animalist!"

"What?!" Kalas said, shocked.

"You're not going to let people in just because they're turkeys?!"

"But...turkeys aren't people anyways..."

"You think that they're not people just because they're different from you?!" the Spirit accused.

"No...they're not people because they're turkeys!" Kalas tried to explain.

"Kalas! I never knew you were like that!"

"Like what?"

"So...so sexist and animalist! For all you know, I could be a turkey!"

"I'm not sexist or animalist! But...are you really a-"

"No more talking! You're sexist and animalist, Kalas!" the Guardian Spirit yelled.

"No I'm not!"

"And you hate babies!"

"What? Where did you get that idea?!" Kalas asked.

"You don't care if a dead turkey falls from the ceiling and crushes a baby! What if it was a turkey baby? Do you hate baby turkeys, Kalas?"

"Do I hate baby turkeys? What are you-"

"Have you ever been pregnant with a baby turkey?!" the Spirit asked Kalas angrily.

"...no, I can't say that I have..." Kalas said while giving the spot he imagined the Guardian Spirit to be a weird look.

"Then why are you discriminating against all the people who have?"

"I'm not! I was just saying that-"

"Apologize, Kalas!" the Spirit demanded.

"I shouldn't have to apologize!" he yelled.

"DO IT!!!"

"...sorry," Kalas said begrudgingly.

"Like you mean it!"

"I...I'm sorry," Kalas said again.

"For what?" the Spirit prompted.

"I'm sorry for discriminating against girls, pregnant girls, turkeys, babies, and all combinations of those words," Kalas said.

"Good,"the Spirit said, 'now go put the cornucopia by the door before I use my All-Mighty Guardian Spirit powers on you."

So, what did you think of it? I didn't have very much time to do this, but I really wanted to write and post it. This whole thing actually happened in real life. I was the one who got to accuse my friend of never being pregnant with a baby turkey. Drama class is fun, isn't it? I might rewrite it depending on what the reviews say, providing that there are reviews.

-subliminal- review! -subliminal-