The Memorial

The sun was shining; it felt wrong to Elena Gilbert as she sat on the edge of the rickety, creaky bed in the lake house that she and the others had migrated to after the Travelers destruction, and after the worst possible thing had happened. Death was something she had been acutely aware of since the time her parents had perished in a car accident on the bridge, and even more recently when she had lost her own life to drowning.

But this was different.

The keening ache of loss was not something she was used to as she stared at the simple black dress that she would be expected to wear today. This was something her spirit needed, even if her brain was resisting it to the last possible second. Running her hand down the length of the smooth silk, she allowed her brain to wander to the impossible reality that she was not preparing herself to go to her boyfriend and best friend's joint memorial services.

It could not be real they had both died in the same night, much to the same cause. Bonnie had been the doomed anchor that had gone away with the destruction of the Other Side, and Damon had been trapped when Liv or Luke had failed to live up to their end of the bargain.

Compassion had always been her Achilles Heel, the one thing that held her back whenever something horrible struck, and now the pain from that compassion and the pain from her almost desperate longing for Damon and Bonnie, was almost to the point of being physically painful as she dragged herself to a standing position, needing something physical to do to get her mind off the agony as she slipped out of her clothes, and in to the dress that Caroline had brought for her.

Smoothing the creases of the dress down, she looked in the mirror and was struck by the contrast to the one beautiful, fresh-faced girl, to the one who had dark circles under her eyes and had cheeks that were puffy and swollen from the countless hours she had spent sobbing over her losses.

She missed them in different extremes of severity: she missed Damon in more ways than she knew how to describe; she missed the gentleness of his tone when he addressed her, she missed the way in which he would cradle her as if she was the finest piece of china, and she missed the protectiveness that she basked in when he was around, and she missed his love more than anything.

She missed Bonnie; she missed her best friend since second grade, the one who stood up to her against the school bully, and helped her clean up the mess of applesauce and pears that the person had spilled on her. She missed her friend for the secrets and inside jokes they shared, she missed that more than anything.

Drawn away from her rambling thoughts by a quiet knock at her door, she inhaled a deep breath as she turned her head over her shoulder to greet the intruder on her private thoughts, even though she could not deny that it would be somewhat of a relief.

"Yeah? Come—come on in," she called, trying to straighten her voice around before she lost it completely.

"Hey," Caroline said quietly, as she entered the bedroom. "I was just wondering if you needed any help getting ready."

Caroline had been a source of support for her in the last few days since Damon and Bonnie's deaths. Even though she had never been a staunch supporter of Elena choosing the "other brother" as she once called Damon, she had rallied in her friend's grief, and had been a firm shoulder to cry on.

"Yeah," Elena said, nodding gratefully as she turned her back to her friend. "Can you zip my zipper up?"

"Sure."

Elena barely flinched when her friend's cool fingers grazed the skin on her back before reaching the zipper to tie it up all the way. It did not seem real, it did not seem possible that she was preparing to go to a memorial service for her boyfriend and best friend, how was it possible that so much could change so quickly?

"Thanks," Elena said, sniffling back her tears as best she could.

"What are friends for?" Caroline asked hypothetically. "Do you remember the time we were sneaking out to go to the frat party in sophomore year?"

"Yeah," Elena said, smiling in spite of herself at the memory of that crazy evening. "We were dressed up like hipsters, and we went with Matt and Tyler as our bodyguards, remember that?"

"Yes," Caroline said, laughing, "and eventually we got busted because someone thought it would be good to check out ID's."

"We didn't get that far into our thinking," Elena mused. "It must have been the adrenaline or the stupidity."

"Probably both."

"Thanks," Elena said, once she was done.

"No problem. Do you think you're ready to...go?" Caroline asked slowly, as though she was doubting whether her friend was capable of withstanding something so emotionally draining, and she would be right.

"In how many ways can I answer no?" Elena wondered. "I can't—I can't believe that I'm going to a memorial service for my boyfriend and my best friend. I can't believe they're really gone," she said, as she completely broke down, no longer able to hide the very real pain she was going through.

"I'm so sorry, Elena," Caroline said softly, as she did the only thing she could do, and enveloped her friend in a hug that was as comforting as it was apologetic for the brash way in which she had treated her friend's boyfriend.

"Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Are you sorry for how you treated him?" Elena asked, knowing it did not make a difference when Caroline was only trying to be a good friend, but also needing to know that she felt some kind of remorse for the way in which she had made life miserable for Damon and his relationship with his girlfriend.

"Yes," Caroline said, bowing her head in defeat. "I was wrong, Elena, and I'm sorry."

"Thank you."

"Let's go," Caroline said, as she placed her hand on the small of Elena's back to guide her out the door, figuring she needed the extra show of guidance as they walked out the door with the rest of their friends and family to move to the cemetery that was right near the lake house.

The one in Mystic Falls would be impossible due to the anti-magic spell the Travelers had enacted. It was burdensome, it was irksome that Elena could not even be allowed to mourn in the privacy of her own home, but she knew that was a small thing in comparison to the very real feelings of grief and shock that was passing through her system.

Jeremy was waiting for them at the point they had agreed upon. Out of the severity of the wreckage in the Grille, Liz Forbes had only been able to reclaim one small, precious gem from the smoky inferno, and that had been Damon's daylight ring.

It was sitting on top of an upturned log that had been set up as a gathering place for the items in which people could remember them by. Jeremy had placed the ring there before anyone else had arrived, so it would serve as a visual reminder of the man they had lost.

As for Bonnie, he had placed a series of photographs and personal mementos from their relationship together, with the expectation that the others would place something of each Damon and Bonnie's, which they did.

Elena, moving with precisely controlled movements to better have a hold on herself, placed the last present that Bonnie had given to her, a book full of girly tips on how to achieve the perfect complexion, something that had been painfully normal and necessary for a world that had been overrun by the supernatural.

For Damon, she placed one of their photographs they had taken together on the piece of wood. It was something silly, something that had been taken in the heat of a fun family moment with Jeremy, and for some reason, the photograph had proven to be one of her fondest memories of that summer.

Forcing herself to remain upright and keep her eyes centered on Jeremy, instead of the wealth of tears that threatened to fall, she drew back a deep breath as she clasped Caroline's hand, needing the emotional support more than anything.

"We're gathered here because we lost two people," Jeremy began. "Two people who sacrificed themselves to save our town, and our people. Damon and Bonnie died as heroes, they deserve to be remembered as heroes."

Elena nodded, not even bothering to hide the tears that slipped past her strong inner armor as she watched Caroline and Stefan lay some other items down that were personal to the two people that they had lost.

"Bonnie died as the Anchor to the Other Side," Jeremy continued. "Her sacrifice should be remembered. Damon died as the sacrifice that triggered the explosion in the Grille. I'm not sure what else to say except that they deserve to be remembered, but they also deserve to be here with us right now."

Almost as though she could physically sense his presence, Elena looked to her immediate left, almost imagining that she would be gifted with the sight of Damon's presence, but she knew that would be impossible to obtain now, but sensing his spirit there was enough for her for the moment, as she gave a half-hearted smile in the direction she sensed him the most.

"We'll all get a chance to say something," Jeremy said, "but Stefan wanted to go first, right?"

Stefan nodded, stepping out from behind the shadows to step up next to the log of personal artifacts that had been sacrificed in honor of their memory.

As Elena watched him prepare to speak, she felt her throat constrict with the emotion she felt. She had lost Damon, sure, but Stefan had also lost his brother, the one person he had been fortunate enough to know longest in the world.

"When the two of us were still human," Stefan said with a small smile as he recalled the saved memory he had stored up. "We used to be looked at, and referred to, as best friends. If one of us went somewhere without the other, people would do a double take, as though expecting us to be joined at the hip, which we were.

We were close. It was just the two of us for awhile after our mother died, and we bonded that way. It wasn't easy the last few decades with us. Women, of all things, got in the way, and when I wanted him to turn. It wasn't easy, but we managed to work through most of our differences.

I'm grateful for that."

Elena smiled, nodding in agreement with his words. Even though Stefan and his brother had fought like cats and dogs, the love they shared for each other had never been tainted or damaged with the passage of time.

"Caroline," Jeremy said, nodding at their blond friend. "You wanted to say something about Bonnie and Damon?"

Caroline nodded; stepping foreword as she prepared to speak what was on her mind, and what was coming to her naturally. Usually Caroline was the life of any party she stepped into, but this was something completely different for obvious reasons.

"Bonnie was my best friend since the third grade," Caroline said, a wistful smile appearing on her face as she spoke of her best friend. "She and Elena and I were like the three Musketeers, never one without the other two. It was nice, and even though our lives have grown crazier and more hectic than normal, we never lost that closeness."

It was true; throughout the supernatural drama that infiltrated their lives, the three friends had never managed to lose their closeness with one another. It was rare, something that Elena marveled at, but was grateful all the same for.

"And with Damon," Caroline said, taking a deep breath. "He was the guy that I loved to hate. He and I had a rocky past, but I made the mistake of letting that define him. I wasn't taking off the judgment glasses, as my dad used to say, and I let it cloud my perception for awhile.

Alaric told me that he died trying to save my mother. I appreciate that. Without him and his sacrifice, I may have been attending my mother's memorial right now instead of his and Bonnie's. I'm sorry," she added, turning to face Elena. "That I judged him and your relationship so harshly."

Elena nodded to show her understanding. "It's okay," she mouthed, as Caroline went over to her and enveloped her in a hug that was strong enough that Elena felt like she could air out all her emotions as she buried her head in friend's shoulder to cry, not even bothering to conceal it like she would have before.

"Elena," Jeremy said, stepping foreword. "Before Damon died, he gave me something to give to you in case something happened to him."

"W—what?" Elena asked, wondering what in the world Damon would have felt was important enough to give to Jeremy to keep safe in the event of an emergency.

Jeremy did not answer as he pulled out a simple ring box from his pocket. "He wanted you to have this, Elena. He had it made right before he died, and he was planning on giving it to you himself."

Taking the box with trembling fingers, Elena slowly eased the top open and gasped when she saw it: it was a ring set in her favorite June birthstone Alexandrite. Swallowing back the refreshed lump in the back of her throat, she covered her mouth with her hand as her small frame shook with sobs.

"Oh, Elena," Caroline said, as she wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders, pulling her close. "It's beautiful."

"He was going to propose to you," Jeremy said. "He talked to me about it, and he even asked Ric for his blessing."

Elena nodded, knowing that Damon would absolutely do something like that if it meant covering all his tracks, and dotting all his I's. The fact that he had put so much thought into the proposal, was something that made her want him even more now, as she gently took the ring from its perch, and slid it onto the right finger.

Even though he was not there to share in the excitement of knowing what her answer was, she still felt a small measure of calmness envelop her as she looked at the ring as it came to rest on her finger bone. It fit perfectly, and she knew that wasn't a coincidence, either.

"I love it," Elena whispered, knowing that if she carried her voice any further, she wouldn't be able to speak.

"He loved you so much, Elena," Stefan said quietly. "I know that it wasn't always the smoothest road to figure that out, but I know that he did."

Elena nodded. "I loved him, too. I still do."

Nothing would ever change that. Not the enemy of death that kept them separated, or the enemies that they battled daily. It would never change, not ever because they would find a way to bring them back somehow, and she would be able to celebrate her engagement.