Promises to Keep

Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, but content is.

~I'm so tired of all we're going through
I don't want to live like that
I'm so tired of all we're going through
I don't want to love like that
I just want to be with you now and forever, peaceful, true~

"Why? Why are you so against them? Would you answer me that Sonny?" Carly demanded with a glare directed at her husband.

"Don't," Sonny warned as he walked over to the wet bar and poured himself a drink.  "You're in no position to demand answers from me."

"Yet you're in the position to demand that Jason gives up Courtney, and don't deny that that's what you did, because I know you."

Sonny swallowed back a laugh at that as he unbuttoned his jacket and walked towards the couch, "oh, do you? Then how come you keep making the same damned mistakes.  You promised me. . ."

"And you wondered why I didn't tell you?" Carly asked throwing up her hands in annoyance.  "You wanted me to become friends with your sister, yet you want me to betray her trust.  You forget, I know what it's like.  Need I remind you of Zander, and how I thought he was my friend, yet it turned out he was only working for you?"

"That was different."

"Why? Because I was the one being tricked and lied to?"

"Why did you always have to put Jason before me?"

"And just who are you putting before me? Who are you putting before your sister?" she shot back, then narrowed her eyes.  "No, let me guess.  Considering that little Miss Liz is the one who ohh so accidentally let it slip that Jason and Courtney were going away, could it be her feelings your so worried about?" she asked, her voice taking on a whining childish quality.  She paused watching him take a drink as she tapped her finger against her cheek, before continuing it her real voice, "but no.  Because even though she's one of your little sisters, you wouldn't out her before Courtney.  You'd stay out of it, the same way you did her little spiteful ploys against Emily. . . So who, Sonny? Who could it be?" she asked as she frowned and shook her head.  "Not that I have to ask.  Because it will always come back to them.  You didn't step in with him and Liz because you knew it wouldn't last.  She was just a pale imitation," she steamed rolled with a hollow laugh, "but not Courtney.  She's a cross of everyone he's ever been involved with as Jason Morgan.  She even has a touch of the women he cared about as Jason Quartermain.  She's the one who just might make him move on, and you can't have that. 

You're not afraid of him hurting her.

Of putting her in danger.

You're afraid of him moving on.

Of getting pass a past even you can't."

Sonny shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "your psychoanalyzing is quite annoying."

"And your priorities are fucked up," she shot back, watching him as he put the glass down on the table and stood.  "Why are you putting them ahead of. . ." she shook her head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked uncomfortably.

"You're against Jason and Courtney because of your need to protect Robin.  Well newsflash, Sonny, she's not here.  And even the blessed Saint Robin, martyr of Port Charles, would probably not mind Jason moving on if he was in love with someone.  Oh, yeah, she'd pout and frown and moralize because Courtney was technically married to AJ, but she'd be happy that he'd finally moved on.  After all, she's the one who helped him move pass the past to begin.  I just wish you could."

"Carly, stop."

"No, I don't think I will, because you also made some promises.  You said you'd show me respect.  You haven't been. You constantly insult my intelligence, put me last.  You can't run everyone's lives Sonny. And to tell you the truth I am sick and tired of the games.  I'm not. . . I won't. . ." she sighed as she looked down.

"Don't say something you're going to regret."

Carly looked back up at him and at his back: "you can't even admit it, can you?"

"Admit what?" he asked her, "It's not like I don't have a reason to worry about Courtney being involved with Jason.  You know how AJ is about Jason.  Not to mention the added danger that being with him puts her in.  I want to protect her."

"Sonny. . ."

"You want me to admit it?" he asked her.  "Fine.  I will.  Just tell me what's wrong with my wanting to keep a promise I made to a man on his deathbed? I promised Stone I'd take care of Robin, and I won't let this hurt her."

Carly nodded at that as she looked away from him to the stairs, "that wasn't the only promise you made him," she reminded as she looked back at him, a low bitter laugh passing her lips.  "But you know what.  I make keeping that one easier for you."

"Carly, take a step back.  Let's not say things. . ."

"That we'll regret? I think we're past that, and at this point, I only regret not saying it sooner.  I'm tired of this, whatever this is.  I'm tired of being a convenience.  You know, I never wanted to be an obligation, but this. . ." she gestured to the room, "this is worse.  Keep your promises to your dead friend, Lord knows you're not any better at keeping them to me than you think I am at keeping them to you.  I mean, I never cheated.  That was you.  I have a friendship with someone I was once more with, but I don't play you two against each other.  I have lost so much because of us.  I won't lose my pride too.  Because sooner or later that won't be the only promise you'll want to keep.  I won't be here for it. 

So break up Courtney and Jason.

Go flitter back to Brenda.

I'm done.

I don't want to live like this any more, and I won't, Sonny.  Because they will always be more important to you.  Your promises to others will always come before the ones you make to me, and I can't live like that any more.  I deserve so much more.  I learnt that when you threw me out."

"What are you saying? That because I won't approve of Jason and Courtney, that because I'm angry that you betrayed me yet again, you're walking out?"

"No, what I'm saying is that I'm going to stop making you stop keeping promises," she sighed as she walked over to him, fighting back tears and kissed his cheek. "I'm letting go."

Sonny inhaled sharply and closed his eyes, feeling her move away.  Instinctively he reached out and grabbed her hand, slipping his fingers in between hers and holding tight as he opened his eyes and watched her, her shocked eyes going to their hands before going back up to his eyes, "what if that's not the promise I want to keep? When are you going to get it through your head that I chose you, not Brenda?"

"Maybe when you stop living with one foot in the past and one in the present," she sighed as she disengaged their hands and walked towards the stairs, pausing on the bottom one to look back at him.  "Stone, Robin, they're not the only one with dreams unrealized.  When you can't put those of the new people in your lives before the ones who are no longer present, it's time to let them go so that they have the chance to make them come true on their own.  We're not butterflies who wings you can clip and pin.  Let us go and fly with our dreams, maybe then. . ." she exhaled as tears formed, "maybe then you'll have your own come true." Inhaling she forced her spine to straightened as he voice went hollow.  "Besides you're right.  I still have secrets you know nothing about.  Ones that just might rock your world.  I'll leave them on my way out of your life."

"Carly, don't.  I need you."

"No.  You need your promises. You need your protectiveness.  Your code of honor. You never, never needed me, at least not as anything to fill a whole.  Go keep your promise, because sooner or later she'll break hers to him, just remember that in the end she'll end up doing it to you too. ."

Sonny shook his head, "we'll talk about this in the morning.  When you've calmed down.  After you realize. . ."

"Actually I realized everything I needed to," she shrugged.  "I'm going to go check on Michael.  I'll sleep in the guest room."

"Carly. . ."

"Give it up Sonny.  I finally have.

I finally have. . ."

Song credit: Eloborate Lives