Disclaimer: Don't own anything. BTW, Fred is bold, George is bold italic, Samantha is italic, underlined is Fred and George, and underlined Samantha and Fred or George.

September 12, 1992

All right, this is plain out ridiculous! The great Fred Weasley, writing in a JOURNAL! GAH!

It's not just you, mate.

Yeah, Fred! It's also me and George.

But why are we even DOING this?

-sigh- Because, Fred, we have to keep track of our years at Hogwarts!

This Quote Quill rocks!

Don't change the subject, George! …Although it IS pretty cool.

Does it rock your socks?

WHAT THE CRAP?

Erm…muggle term. Never mind.

That's what I thought.

Yeah, right.

Whatever. Let's get started on our "journal".

First thing: 14 Ways to Annoy, Scare, and Otherwise Torture Ickle Ronniekins.

1: Obviously, call him Ickle Ronniekins.

2: Turn his teddy into a spider.

Good times… 3: Tell him that, "Drakey-Wakey lurves him."

Why did we do that again?

We were bored, remember?

Oh yeah.

3: Tell him that Pansy is secretly in love with him.

He's really gullible, isn't he?

-sarcastic- No, you think?

I don't think, therefore I am.

-sniff- So true.

4: Whatever you do, DON'T dare your only friend who's a girl to try to get him to fall for her.

Yeah, we did that to you, it took you what… 15 minutes?

12, I was keeping track. He STILL won't stop stalking me.

-shiver- THAT'S just creepy. 5: Tell him that Dumbldore is actually a Death Eater and that he wants to kill him, and then run. Fast.

-sigh- Those were the days…6: Get him drunk, and then play, "Truth or Dare." Even though your mother sent us those exploding Howlers, it was worth it.

Remember the looks he got when he frenched Hermione?

Those looks were priceless.

7: Charm him to flash green and silver, and sing, "Draco is My King" randomly for a day.

Now THAT was a funny idea, Sam. That was when you had just become friends with me and Fred, right?

Yup. Second week of apprenticeship.

We taught her well, didn't we, Forge?

We're so proud of our little girl. -sniff-

Best lessons I had all year.

Too true. BACK TO THE LIST. 8: When he's sleeping, mutter things like, "Spiders want you to tap dance" into his ear.

I never knew that he could scream that loud, could you?

Nope, and WE'RE his brothers!

I'M the object of his affection! You know, just yesterday he sent me a love note…

Third one this week.

9: Steal his diary, copy pages of it, and then tack them up on the Gryffindor notice board.

I STILL have nightmares about that one entry, d'you remember?

-shudder-

10: Shout, "RON CANNOT HELP HIS LOVE FOR-" then say the name of a girl in the school.

-evilly- I'll be right back.

Where is he going?

-distantly- RON CANNOT HELP HIS LOVE FOR SAMANTHA!

I'll be right back, George. I have to go kill your brother.

We'll continue this list later. SEE YA LATER, PUFFSKIENS!

You mean alligators.

A/N: Ha. I just adore the ending! REVIEW! No flames accepted, it must be in the form of constructive criticism.