I do ship Bade, but I also wanted to try the idea of Jade and Ryder together. (: thanks for reading.

••••••

She was a mess. After two years of dating Beck Oliver, he finally ended it.

Jade hated that she was crying over breaking up with Beck. Jade hated that her so called 'friends' kept playing cards without her, as if her presence in their little group was completely unnecessary and unimportant.

Of course Jade knew that she and Beck fought a lot. She just didn't think Beck would ever stop fighting back. That was their thing... whenever they were alone in his RV, they fought like crazy, yelling at each other. Then, they had hot makeup sex.

But not anymore.

So, after spending a whole day in bed, cutting up some dead flowers Beck had given her a while ago, Jade decided to go out.

Jade decided to forget.

••

"West," the confident voice addresses her by wrapping his arms around her stomach. His voice is sharp and thick and oh so familiar. Jade smells the alcohol on his breath.

The last time Jade saw Ryder had been two days before she was leaving for Los Angeles. She was thirteen and he was fifteen.

Jade grew up in New York with Ryder. The only people that knew Jade moved to Los Angeles when she was thirteen was Beck and Cat. But they didn't know about Ryder.

Ryder was her best friend in New York; her only friend. Everyone else was scared of her, which she didn't mind. She didn't care about anyone else.

The night Jade said goodbye to Ryder, they had laid in the middle of the abandoned road by his house in silence for hours, kissing every now and then, soaking up the moonlight. That was their spot, ever since she was seven and he was nine and they snuck away from their parent's joint dinner party together.

Ryder was a lot of firsts in Jade's life.

He was her first best friend, the first person to have a sleepover with her, her first kiss. He was the first one to touch her under her clothes.

Ryder was not Jade's first boyfriend, though. He wasn't her first time either.

He was just her best friend who she kissed sometimes.

"Daniels? What the hell?" she asks in shock, turning around. Because that asshole is actually here, in Los Angeles, smirking at her like he used to do when they were younger.

Ryder Daniels looks different. Hotter; older. It's the first time she's seen him in years, and of all places, it's at a dumb college party.

Jade kind of snuck in to the party; she looks older than she is, so no one really batted an eye.

The party Jade and Ryder are at is loud. The music is so loud, her ears are ringing. She's only been drinking for about ten minutes but she can already feel the cranberry vodka start to kick in.

Ryder leads Jade outside so they can talk away from the loud music. They decide to walk back to her house since they have both been drinking and can't drive.

"Why are you in L.A, Daniels?"

"I'm here to see you," he shrugs. She narrows her eyes at him.

"Why now? After how long? Four years?"

"Uh... Yeah."

"God, It took you long enough," She scoffs.

He smirks at her annoyed facial expression. "So, fill me in on everything, West."

"It might take a while."

"I have time," he tells her, walking behind her on the sidewalk, noticing how her hair looks like a sea of black and green that blends together in the dark.

"Well. Um, I don't know. I moved here. I met a annoying perky redhead who's my friend I guess. I met a dude who carries around a puppet who said perky redhead has a crush on. I met a Canadian boy who ruined my life. I met a dude who plays piano who is best friends with the Canadian life-ruiner. I dated the stupid Canadian for two years. A new girl came to our school and everybody loves her for some reason, although she's not that talented. The Canadian kissed said new girl on her second day of school. I forgave the Canadian. The Canadian and I yelled a lot. We broke up two days ago," Jade informs Ryder as she watched her boots drag along the sidewalk.

"Damn," Ryder raises his eyebrows, not expecting that.

"So...where are you staying? You have a house?" She changes the subject, because she came here to forget about the breakup, not remember it.

"An apartment. About five miles from here," Ryder tells her.

"My house is closer. You can stay there for tonight."

He smiles appreciatively.

"Okay, dude," she addresses him, turning to face him. "Not that I don't miss you, but why are you here?"

"Long story...I want to go to UCLA next year. If I don't get in, well, I don't really know. I guess I'll have to go back to New York or something. Some other college. I'm finishing at Hollywood Arts for my senior year. I've been in LA for like a month. My parents got me some shitty apartment for this year," he tells her.

"Wait, you've been here for over a month and you didn't even tell me?" She raises her eyebrows, offended.

"I thought you forgot about me," Ryder admits.

"How could I ever forget you, Daniels?" she asks him. In that moment, even though she's had a couple of drinks, she remembers everything. She remembers the Jade before Beck happened. She was just Jade; not Beck&Jade.

That old Jade was independent and solely focused on playwriting and acting and singing. That Jade didn't care what others thought, even her friends. That Jade had an awesome best friend named Ryder Daniels who truly understood her. That Jade was one of a kind and not a 'jealous gank'.

That Jade was Jade's favorite version of herself. She wanted to be that way again. But it would be too hard. It's too hard to become the old version of yourself.

"I've been asking around about you," Ryder smirks when they arrive at her house.

"And?" Jade smirks back at him, closing the front door of her house, waiting for an answer.

"Everyone says you're scary as fuck," Ryder laughs.

She grins.

"I see you're still wearing a shitload of black and carrying scissors around to scare people," he smirks at her face that sometimes intimidates others. To him, she's just Jade: the bold, unpredictable girl who is still his best friend.

"That's right. Everyone is afraid of me," she crosses her arms proudly.

"You don't scare me, West. You never have," he says. They're standing close together inside her house and she can feel his breath on her neck. She has missed him so much these past couple of years.

She crashes her lips against his, tasting him for the first time in about four years. It's the way she wants to remember him: kissing him, just like how she left him.

She's a little drunk, but she knows what she's doing. She's trying to get over Beck Oliver, the Canadian life-ruiner; She's trying to remember Ryder Daniels: her best friend, the one she shared her first kiss with. The one she used to do everything with.

"What are you doing, Jade?" Ryder asks although he doesn't stop gently kissing her. His lips move from her lips down her jaw to her neck and she doesn't even feel bad that they are doing this. He's her best friend, and it's been about three months since she's had sex. It has been four years since she's seen Ryder. She is allowed to want this from him. With him.

"I'm trying to remember you," she breathes before she quickly pushes him up the stairs without breaking the kiss, slamming his back against her bedroom door as she locks it.

"Jade, I Lov-"

"Stop talking. Please just stop talking," she mumbles, ripping off his leather jacket and slipping off his black tee shirt, starting to unbutton his jeans. Jade has never gone all the way with anyone but Beck, but she has known Ryder longer than anyone. She trusts him.

Jade and Ryder's tongues are clashing and he's pushing her up against the wall, trapping her with his weight. It feels unexplainably right.

Their clothes are off and her mind is foggy. They're laying on her bed and she's not sure if she's just a little drunk or it's the feeling of his large hands inside of her but it feels so much better than she remembers.

"I'm glad you're back," Jade breathes into his neck when they're finished.

"Me too," he tells her, lightly running his fingers through her hair as she hugs him.

They laying together on her bed. It's a school night.

"We can never do this again," Jade tells him in the dark. Her window shades are pulled up and the moon is illuminating Ryder's face.

"I know," he breathes sadly before he wraps his arm around her, kissing her forehead. She wraps her arms around him, closing her eyes, giving in for once, doing what she wants because it feels right.

•

"Hey, are you okay?" Ryder asks in the morning. He noticed that she removed herself from their hugging position. When he woke up, Jade was laying beside him, with her back turned to him.

"I don't know," she sighs, turning to face him.

"Let's just skip school today," Ryder tells her. It's already past her second class. Usually she would argue about skipping school, but she's had such a shitty week dealing with the breakup, she doesn't care about not showing up. She's sure more than half the school will be relieved when they find out the scary goth girl is absent.

"I just, I don't understand...what happened while I was gone, Jade?" Ryder blurts.

She shrugs, looking at the butterflies on her wall. After a moment of silence, Ryder comments.

"This is kinda weird because I know we stopped talking for a while. But you're still my bestfriend. I uh, I kinda stalked you on The Slap because I found your page while I was trying to find out stuff about you because we stopped talking...Beck seems like a prick."

She half smiles. He knows her better than any other person. He's known her since they were born.

After they take turns showering separately, they meet downstairs in her living room to continue their conversation.

"What were we talking about?" She asks.

"Beck being a prick," Ryder says with a mouth full of cereal.

Jade rolls her eyes at his repulsive eating habits.

"Beck's not really a prick. It's just... It's complicated.

"What does that even mean, Jade?"

"You keep calling me Jade," she mentions. Because they haven't called each other by their first names since she was eleven and he was thirteen. But he started calling her Jade the second they kissed again last night. He called her Jade while they were having sex. So she called him Ryder.

"That is your name, Jade. Now tell me what happened."

"I don't know, Ryder," she stresses his name. "I love Beck. I really do. When we met, he asked me out like eight times before I said yes. I said yes so he would just leave me alone. But then he laughed at my jokes, and smiled at my quirks, and I guess I sort of fell for him. I fell in love with him," she explained.

Without waiting for Ryder to say anything, she continued: "He's nice. I'm not used to that. He's too nice. He talks to all the girls, and I know he's just being nice, but it feels like he's doing it just to spite me, ya know?" Ryder watches as Jade drinks from his water bottle without asking.

"I yelled at Beck a lot. It wasn't like a joking banter like whatever the hell normal couples do. It was like we just yelled about the everything. It wasn't always fun. We played stupid mind games all the time," Ryder stays silent, trying not to notice how beautiful Jade looks in the morning.

"I miss him," Jade states. "But I'm not sure if I miss him because I truly miss him, or he if I just miss him because he's been a part of my life for so long, I don't remember not being with him."

"What happened to you, Jade? I've never seen you so upset about someone," Ryder asks, because seriously, what did this boy do to his best friend?

Jade shrugs. "I fell in love."

"Sounds horrible," Ryder comments.

"God I missed you," Jade laughs, hugging him. They stay like that for at least twenty minutes.

Ryder tries to ignore the way her head feels resting against his chest. He tries to ignore the feeling in his heart, the way he tried to tell her that he loved her last night. He tries to ignore the fact that she wouldn't let him say it.

•

"Let's go get some lunch," Ryder says.

Jade drives them to Nozu's, and they spend a while catching up.

"I can't believe how long it's been since we've seen each other," Jade tells him.

"I know," he smiles, before looking at the menu.

"So... I filled you in on my life, now fill me in on yours," Jade says, sipping her water.

"Kinda boring. I just went to the same school I was at when you left. It was so boring without you there. You and I were like partners in crime, ya know? We used to get in trouble together," Ryder reminisces, making Jade smile at the memory.

"Let's see...uh, I stopped singing for a while. I had a couple girlfriends but they weren't long term. I met this dude named Cyrus. He's pretty cool. One of my best friends, aside from you. We're planning on going to UCLA together if we both get in. That's really about it. My parents are still the same: judgmental and cold hearted. Just like yours. They're both still in New York. I got my own place for this year. It's tiny, but, it's okay."

"That sounds interesting. Please tell me more," she says sarcastically, making him smile, shaking his head.

"I missed your bitterness Jade. Seriously."

"I missed you too."

The only reason she's saying she missed him is because it's true.

•

They drive to school together the next day.

"Jade! Why weren't you at school yesterday?" Cat immediately runs towards Jade who is getting books out of her locker.

"I decided not to come," Jade shrugs, ignoring Beck's gaze from across the hallway. Instead, she half-listens to Cat telling a story about her brother.

•

Jade and Ryder hang out at school whenever they can. The gang notices Jade's 'sudden' friendship with the new guy. They notice her slow withdrawal from their group of friends.

The gang starts to worry, because Ryder's been making a name for himself around school as the dude who asks girls out just so he can get good grades. He's only been at the school for five months, yet rumors have spread about him.

They're both leaning against Jade's locker as Ryder makes a joke about Beck looking like a lesbian with his long hair, which does make Jade crack a small smile.

"He can fit his hair in a ponytail! That's not normal," as Ryder talks, Jade stares at her best friend, the one whose presence she finds herself craving whenever he's not around.

Jade knows Beck, Tori, Robbie, Andre and Cat are all watching her. But she doesn't care about what they think.

"Jade?" Tori comes up to Jade, probably to warn her about Ryder's 'bad intentions'. This would be Post-Ryder-Breaks-Tori's-Heart-and-Everybody-Cries-About-It.

"And that's my cue to leave," Ryder says. "You still coming over later?"

"Yeah, I'll probably just sleep over or something. I'll call you after school."

"Why are you talking to Ryder? Why are you sleeping over at his house? Are you two dating?" Tori asks in her overly curious manner.

"Stop talking to me. You're not my friend," Jade glares.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. You know about Ryder's reputation, and after what he did to me, I think that you shouldn't-"

"Vega," Jade stops her from talking. "Leave me alone. I don't need your useless advice."

"It's not useless!"

"Yes it is," Jade scowls as she walks away.

Jade doesn't need to explain herself to anyone. It's not her fault that they've never asked her what her life was like before she moved to LA, or if she even had any friends before Beck.

•

"Hey," Jade greets as she slips into Ryder's car.

He nods in recognition as he starts to drive them to his apartment.

"So what did Tori want to talk to you about?"

"She thinks you're a bad influence on me," Jade laughs. If anything, it's the other way around.

Ryder smiles. "We're both kinda bad for each other, West. That's why we work."

•

"Jade. I think you're spending too much time with that Ryder dude. He seems bad," Beck randomly tells her. It's the first thing he's said to her since their breakup. Nobody is even at the table yet.

"Excuse me? What gives you the right to say something like that to me? We're not together anymore, Beck."

"I know, I just want..."

"Stop. I don't care what you think," she snaps at him right as Tori, Robbie, Cat and Andre arrive simultaneously at the table, sitting down.

"I just don't want you getting hurt," he says.

She laughs bitterly. "You should have thought of that before you pretended you loved me for two years," she says, storming away from the table.

•

They're laying on Ryder's bed.

Jade doesn't know what's gotten into her lately. She's hugging Ryder a lot.

They're not dating, but she just missed him. She's making up for lost time, she reasons.

Ryder wasn't like Beck. He didn't expect her to be nice like Beck did. Ryder just expects her to be herself.

His arms make her feel safe. She trusts him enough to know he'll never break her heart. That's why she's letting herself get close to him.

"I wish we could go back to when it was just the two of us. When life was simple. Before we know what heartbreak felt like," Jade sighs absentmindedly tracing a pattern onto Ryder's abs, where his shirt is riding up.

"Me too," he tells her, hugging her just a little bit tighter than before.

•

"Jadey! You didn't tell us you have a new boyfriend," Cat greets Jade as she sits down for lunch on a Monday.

"I don't have a new boyfriend," Jade states.

Cat giggles, handing Jade a picture that was uploaded by some blogger on the Slap.

It's a picture of Jade and Ryder standing close together. Ryder is whispering in her ear, and she's smirking.

"He's just my friend, Cat. That's it." Jade shrugs, stabbing a piece of lettuce with her fork.

Cat shows Jade the next picture.

Jade's sitting in Ryder's lap in a chair. They're laughing at something. It was from the party they had gone to together three weeks prior. They had been particularly handsy that night.

"Are you sure he's just a friend? You don't sit in Andre's or Robbie's laps like that," Cat says innocently, but rather introspectively.

"That's because Andre and Robbie are gross," Jade shrugs, referring to two boys sitting at her lunch table. She ignores Robbie and Andre's protests.

"Well...what about this picture, Jade?" Cat asks, handing Jade her sparkly pink pearphone.

In the picture, Ryder and Jade are pressed up against each other dancing.

"Who is even taking these?" Jade asks, because she's momentarily creeped out. Someone had to have been following her.

"I don't know," Cat wanders.

"So are you guys dating or not?" Beck asks, his eyes staring into here.

"We're not dating. We. Are. Just. Friends," she states.

Cat giggles, shoving the phone back in Jade's face.

The last picture is of Ryder and Jade kissing while she was sitting on his lap. Her hands are holding his cheeks gently in her hands, which makes it look very intimate and genuine.

Everyone at the table looks shocked. Jade swears she could see his nostrils flare.

Jade growls, getting up from the table, ignoring their shocked gazes as she hops up and strides across the Asphalt Cafe to Ryder, grabbing his forearm, and dragging him away from his Senior friends, inside the building.

•

"Are you aware that people think we're dating?" She asks, shoving him inside the janitors closet.

"Wait... what?"

"There are pictures of us on The Slap. Dancing, talking, kissing. Cat and Vega asked if we're dating. Ugh, can you believe that?"

"Would it be so bad if we were dating?" He asks in a tone so serious it makes her very concerned.

"We can't date! You're my best friend," Jade sighs, trying to ignore the pulling on her heart strings. She thinks she might want to date him. But she also is still in love with Beck.

"We go good together, West. That's how it's always been. You and me."

Jade stares into his eyes, looking for anything.

"I don't know if I'm ready yet."

"I'll wait," he says, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear.

•

Beck corners her in the parking lot as she's walking to her car.

"Look, Jade. I... I didn't mean to break up with you. I'm so sorry. I just got tired of fighting. I still love you. I can't stand thinking about you being with Ryder. Will you please be my girlfriend again?" he pleads.

"No," she says, glaring into his eyes as she walks to her car.

"No? Why not? I still love you," Beck says, touching her forearm gently.

"I want to be happy, Beck. I'm sorry it took this long to realize it."

•

Jade finds herself in front of Ryder's apartment. She didn't even decide to drive to his apartment. Her subconscious decided to take her there.

When she sees him smile as he opens the door, she thinks she's made the right choice.