Disclaimer:
As a Darvey fan, I couldn't be happier with the outcome of 8.16. However, Harvey definitely has a lot of explaining to do. And while I enjoyed Donna's acceptance of him at her door, I have perceive there to be hurt feelings on her end. Harvey really put her through the ringer (in my opinion). That convo between her and Kessler was really heartbreaking and I certainly hope it's brought up when 9.01 is filmed.
This is my first time posting anything, let alone really writing anything. I have some thoughts about where I'd like to take this story. I definitely want to see what everyone thinks.
Thank you!
Donna's room was a mess, but a good mess. One Harvey wouldn't mind cleaning up and certainly one he didn't mind making. His suit and Donna's clothes were spread across the floor from where they landed the night before. Not much focus was on keeping things tidy after having spent a good decade of denying one's feelings. Every pillow and blanket from the bed were tossed from the surface to provide more room for bed activities, which they certainly did participate in, 3 different times.
The first time being frantic and….bumpy and if Harvey had to admit, possibly not even that satisfactory for her. But after Donna led him into her bedroom, there was no way he would have been able to stop or slow down. It was almost embarrassing, as if his life depended on being as close to her as physically possible. And of course, being Donna, she understood his intensity, she understood that each thrust, bump was an exclamation mark to his unsaid, 'I'm sorry', 'I'm a complete and utter idiot', 'Will you forgive me?'. And she held on tight, loosening grip only to adjust positions or maybe fight a cramp and at those times, words were still not said, but the stares... he and Donna couldn't stop staring at each other, mere inches away, nose to nose, and only when friction becoming unbearable were eyes squeezed shut and release washed over.
The second time, Harvey understood this ride was all…. about…. Donna. She allowed him about 30 minutes of recovery before she literally rose above him and worked her Donna magic. This time words were exchanged, 'fuck', 'shit', 'oh my god' said under Donna's breath were about the sexiest thing Harvey had ever heard. She controlled the rhythm, depth; it was hard for him to not ruin the ride within minutes. Luckily he was able to control himself and got to experience the most delicious details, details that were overlooked during the first mad rush to completion, details that included memorizing the soft pale pink of Donna's nipples that peaked through her hair and the dust of freckles sprinkled across her stomach and breasts. But the detail that really did him in was noticing that she was completely bare down there and was thankful when Donna became frantic in her movements that led them both to completion and Donna collapsing onto his chest.
The third time happened in the early hours of the morning; a slow rocking of bodies and some strategically placed fingers.
And now here they were, each lying on their stomachs with their heads turned toward one another. No pillows to rest their heads and only a single bedsheet lying low across their hips. About a 2 foot bit of space separated them on the king bed. Donna's right arm bent at the elbow with her right hand splayed between them, Harvey's left hand went between covering her hand with his and tucking her hair behind her ear, even though her hair hadn't moved in hours. He just couldn't stop touching her or staring at her.
Donna was asleep. He hadn't slept at all. There was no way he was going to close his eyes and miss out on looking at Donna for as long as he could. He should be contemplating what type of conversation they should have once Donna's awake, but he couldn't. He already knows what he wants to say and he has no intention of not saying it. Not another minute, day, year needs to be wasted with his ambiguous dialogue.
Donna began to stir when the first morning light was making its way through the windows. And aside from her eyelids fluttering open and finding Harvey staring at her from across the bed with his hand covering hers, she didn't move elsewhere.
Donna took a few slow breaths, looking into Harvey's eyes and sighed, 'Hi.'
She noticed Harvey curl one side of his mouth in a small smile and sigh back, 'Hi.'
'You're awake', Donna said, still not having moved.
'Never went to sleep,' Harvey responded.
Donna raised her eyebrows, 'You do look tired.' Knowing what Harvey's response would be and she wasn't disappointed when his half smile grew and included a lift of an eyebrow and responded, 'You tired me out.'
She responded with her own half smile and small roll of her eyes, 'I am Donna', and at that very same moment, with no hint of teasing or hesitation, Harvey said, 'I'm in love with you Donna.'
Donna's eyes widened and her antidote at keeping things light with her 'I am Donna' quip was lost. They both stare at each other for several long seconds. Neither having moved since Donna opened her eyes, except for facial expressions and Harvey's thumb stroking her hand between them.
Those words from him were something Donna had waited a long time to hear or, she thought disappointingly, having Harvey admit. Was she so hard to love, she thought?
A certain sadness must have crossed over her eyes because Harvey gently cleared his throat and said 'Kessler?' in a form of a question. It was not missed on him that Donna didn't respond with a declaration herself.
Donna blinked a few times, trying to catch up mentally to where this conversation was leading. Harvey had been awake this whole time, likely trying to form some sort of conversation since there had been none when he first arrived.
'He is aware of something….', Donna responds, shifting her gaze away from Harvey.
Harvey knits his eyebrows in question and Donna continued, 'Thomas dropped by yesterday morning, before the hearing, wanting to talk about your visit with him the night before. He was surprised that your concern was for me and not the firm,' looking back at Harvey, she continued, 'He asked what I was to you.'
Harvey squeezed her hand gently, 'What did you tell him?' Harvey asked, already knowing what she likely told him; that she didn't know, since he'd been fighting these feelings for years, never admitting to her or himself what was there all along.
'That I didn't know how to answer that.' She says with some sadness. Having confirmed what Harvey thought, he whispers, 'I'm so sorry.'
'He then asked, if I wasn't able to tell him what I was to you, then he wanted to know what you were to me.' Harvey asked again, 'What did you tell him.'
Donna furrowed her brow knowing her response would hurt him, but if they were going to become something together, then he needed to know what she had been feeling. What the denial of their feelings, his feelings, had brought her to. She disengaged her hand from his and turned her head forward, stretching both her arms forward as well. She tucked her elbows underneath herself, propping up slightly.
Harvey adjusted as soon as she took her hand from his, turning to his side, facing her and inched closer, resting his hand at the small of her back, the sheet still resting low across their hips. He couldn't not touch her or keep some type small physical connection.
'I told him I didn't know who you were to me; but that I knew you were someone who I couldn't seem to figure out how to cut out of me. But that I wanted to and have wanted to and tried to when I told him about what was going on.' Donna turned her head and stared back at Harvey, her eyes were wet, Harvey's as well. 'And then I told him that the truth was, was that I didn't know if I would ever be able to.'
'Donna,' Harvey began. Donna ducked her head, rubbing her chin on her shoulder and glanced back up at him. Off in the distance you could hear a buzzing of a cell phone, Harvey's cell must of been on vibrate. The small noise provided some much needed distraction….for Donna. Harvey wanted to continue with the conversation and was just about to when Donna interrupted, 'Harvey, get your phone; it's likely Louis wanting to know where you are and needing to strategize. Especially after the royal fuck up that I caused this past week.'
'Donna, no. I want to explain.' Donna was already shifting around and stood up from bed, walking into her bathroom, and before Harvey could say anything more, Donna started the shower.
Harvey, irritated of the distraction, turned his head in the direction of the buzzing. He moved toward the edge of the bed, hoping to find his pants where his phone could be found in one of the pockets. He found them, but wrestled with getting access to his pocket and by that time, Louis went to voicemail.
Harvey tossed his phone on the bed and made his way toward the bathroom, they weren't not continuing this conversation.
Another round of buzzing sounded, this time coming from Donna's cell on her nightstand, Harvey saw Louis' name pop up on Donna's screen; apparently Louis was making the rounds.
He looked toward the open bathroom door, seeing Donna in the shower, hurriedly soaping up and he so badly wanted to join, but even more urgently wanting to explicitly make clear his feelings. Showing up at her door and spending the night could imply those feelings, but he wanted it word of mouth. Especially after now, just hearing of her conversation with Kessler, and the look in her eye, the doubt, the confusion…..it broke his heart. What did he do?
With one last glance toward Donna, Harvey went back to his pants and pulled them on, grabbing his phone and sitting on the edge of the bed. He dialed Louis back, Louis immediately answered.
'Harvey, I've been trying to reach you.' Louis rushed.
'Yes, I know Louis; listen it's not a good time right now….' Harvey started.
'You're goddamn right, now is not a good time.' Harvey imagined Louis getting red, 'We have to strategize about what Zane's disbarment will do to the firm. 2 partners, in as many years, disbarred from this firm! We need to come up with a plan; Samantha and Alex are already here. You need to come in, NOW. I called Donna, but she didn't answer.'
'Listen, Louis, I know this couldn't be the worst timing, but I need a day.' Harvey said rubbing his forehead.
Having overheard, Donna existed the bathroom in her robe, motioning wildly, 'No!' and indicating to him through facial expressions that he is nuts. Louis meanwhile verbalizes, 'Are you nuts?! You can't take a day, what will that say about the firm?' Harvey moves his phone away from his ear, you could still hear Louis raving from the device in Harvey's outstretched hand.
'We need to talk,' whispers Harvey.
'We need to get to work,' Donna whispers back.
Harvey stares at Donna, wanting to say more, knowing Louis could possibly overhear, wondering how Donna showered so quickly, and really wanting to just hang up on Louis and continue the conversation with Donna that is long overdue. Harvey brings his phone back to his ear, Louis was still droning on about needing him to come in and needing to find Donna. 'OK, Louis, I'm coming in,' and hangs up.
Harvey stands, walking toward Donna, 'He's already called you once, I'm sure he's dialing your number now. Donna, we need to talk.' Donna strips her robe and Harvey is momentarily distracted. 'You wear that to work? You've been wearing that to work all this time?'
'Harvey, it's underwear. They lie under my outer clothes.' Donna turns her back and opens a hidden cupboard along the wall that reveals to be her built in closet. She sorts through some dresses and makes her decision, taking it from the hanger and closing the cupboard door.
'You're wearing just as much underwear as me and I'm not wearing any.' Harvey says with a smirk, resting his hands on her waist, appreciating his full view from behind. Donna bends and steps into the dress she selected, sliding her arms into the sleeves. Donna moves her hair aside and looks over her shoulder to Harvey, 'Would you mind zipping me up?'
Harvey grabs the zipper and careful not snag any of her glorious porcelain skin, slowly pulls the zipper up. He kisses her shoulder and Donna shifts around, Harvey brings his hands up to her jaw and positions her head just so to fit his lips. And if he thought their kiss the night before after knocking on her door was all consuming, this kiss was 10 times moreso. Mouths open wide, tongues exchanging, noses bumping. Harvey leans into to her and their weight is caught by the cupboard door behind her.
They disconnect only when air was needed. Vibrating from Donna's nightstand could be heard.
Harvey snorts, resting his forehead along the cupboard behind Donna, breathing in her newly cleaned scent. 'I know we need to talk Harvey.' Donna says and Harvey raises his head and looks at her, 'And we will talk. I'm not going anywhere. But I have to get to work and do some damage control. I'm surprised I haven't been fired.' Donna said in seriousness.
Donna shifts from Harvey's embrace and walks toward the insistent vibrating of her phone.
Harvey's breath catches slightly, not realizing that Donna thought it would be a real possibility of her being fired. 'Donna, that is not going to happen; you have nothing to worry about.' Harvey reassures just before she picks up the phone for Louis.
'Morning Louis. ….Yes, I'm on my in now. I'll be out the door in 10. …..Yes …..No. Sounds like a plan. Yes, I think that could work.' Donna's responding to whatever various questions Louis is asking, while walking around the bed, picking up the bedding they tore apart from the night before and tossing it back onto the bed.
She's piled the bedding on the center of the bed and Harvey noticed she picked up his shirt and tie, handing it to him. 'You have to get got home and change. We need you at the office.' She says and walks back into the bathroom.
This was not the way Harvey wanted this bit of morning to go. His shirt and tie hanging loosely from his hands. He's not even sure if he'll be able to work without having this conversation with Donna first and he's at a loss. Harvey shrugs his shirt on and loops his tie around his neck, finding his socks and shoes and pulling them on as well.
Donna makes her way out of the bathroom, ready for her day, opening another set of cupboards to reveal shoes and handbags. She slips some heels on and walks toward Harvey, sitting next to him on the bed. 'Harvey, I'm going to head to the office. Use the bathroom and head over to your place to change and I'll see you at work. Just lock the door on your way out.'
'Donna, I've hurt you and I need to…,' Donna interrupts. 'Harvey, we won't solve anything right now. And nothing needs to be solved. Yes, I agree we need to talk. But, first things first, work…,' 'No, you don't understand,' Harvey interrupts, 'You are first. I don't care about work right now.'
Donna stands, 'I do understand, but it can't be just all about you right now. I know you want to share your feelings, I'm happy that you want to share those feeling for me, with me; but, what I want is to go to work and make things right. Harvey, I love you. I'll see you at work later.' And Donna walks from the room, down the hall, and out the door.
Harvey's left sitting on the bed, not really sure how to proceed. He has so many thoughts running through his mind and he's not really sure how to organize them. He can really only think of one thing that could help him sort out his thoughts and makes the call.
'I have an emergency. Are you available in an hour?' Harvey asks, 'Great, I'll see you then.'