A/N: FORMERLY songfic to "Crawling" by Linkin Park. Then ff .net went psycho. Please excuse the odd scene jumps as a result of the removal of the lyrics.
Disclaimer: You know, these things are starting to get a bit depressing. Do I really need a constant reminder of the fact that I do not own the positively adorable Ryou or his counterpart? Er, I don't own Linkin Park either, okies?
A shudder makes my body convulse. I feel him again, lurking within the deepest recesses of my soul, the darkest corners of my mind.
What am I saying? Lurking in the darkness? He is the darkness.
He's there, always there. Taking pieces of me into himself so that he might breathe life into his ancient soul once more. Always taking. Never giving.
Slowly destroying all that makes me me.
His malignant being haunts my every thought.
I remember the day I met him, so clearly. Father gave me the accursed Ring for my birthday. He brought it back with him from Egypt. I can picture the smile on his face as I opened it and placed it over my neck for the first time. He was so happy back then.
I would throw the detestable thing away from me, bury it within the ocean depths. But I know that it would hurt him to not see me wearing it. So I shall keep it with me. Forever.
I know that he's so lonely without Mother around. And he spends so much time away. I miss him so. I would do anything to keep him happy. Even suffer.
And how I suffer. I suffer at the hands of the demon that lives within me, the demon that bears my face.
Whenever it so pleases him, he takes control, wrestles it away from me. He imprisons my mind within itself. He uses my flesh and blood for his own foul purposes.
He uses it to betray my friends.
And yet there is nothing I can do. I pale in comparison with him, nothing more than a weak little Hikari.
I try to fight him, really I do. I use all the power of my mind to keep him at bay, to keep him from hurting those that I care about. But in the end, he is stronger. So I push them away, stay always by myself. Always must I submit to him.
The darkness can always smother even the brightest of lights, if there is enough of it.
And so I lose myself to him.
Oh Ra, I wish that the Ring had never come to me. Ever since he came, I feel so… trapped. My mind, my body, are no longer my own. My will is nothing.
I am nothing.
He's taken everything; my faith in the world, my confidence, my security, my peace. My happiness.
At times I want nothing more than to lash out at him in a rash fit of anger, to let my true feelings be known rather than hide them behind my ever present mask of innocence. I hate myself because of him. I hate everything that I am. I hate the fact that I am nothing. I hate the fact that I cannot stand up to him. I hate the fact that I am weak. I hate the fact that he knows everything that will destroy my soul. I hate the fact that I know nothing about him.
I hate the fact that he is me.
My breath quickens, my heartbeat with it. Once again I feel him stirring within his soul room. I know what comes next.
I feel the familiar rushing sensation as he uses his magic to leave my body and materialize next to me. A satisfied smirk plays itself across his face as he looks straight into my eyes.
"So will you go willingly this time, or must I force you into submission?" His calm voice, sharp with a threat, hangs in the air between us.
So many things want to force themselves out of my mouth. Why? Why does he do this? Why is he like he is? Why does he hate me? Why can we not be like Yuugi and Yami? They are do happy together, in love. Yami would do anything for Yuugi, and Yuugi for Yami.
But is it the same with me and Bakura? That thought makes me laugh, a hollow laugh, as tears started to streak down my face.
His smirk slips to an annoyed frown. "Well, brat? Are you waiting for Thoth to kiss the sun or something?"
Still I do not answer. I merely stand in silence, warm tears slipping down my cheeks one after another in a never-ending stream to fall to the floor. As quick as lightning my dark's hand lashes out to smash into my face. My head snaps to the side; the metallic taste of blood assaults my tongue. And it only makes my tears fall harder.
Bitter sobs shake my body. All I want is for him to love me, to care about me instead as viewing me as nothing but a worthless, pathetic annoyance.
I hear him curse in annoyance. Instead of hitting me again, I feel him re-enter my mind. But he does not go into his soul room.
I can feel the dark tendrils of his presence winding their way around my consciousness, slowly and inexorably pulling me back. I struggle as much as I can, but to no avail. His strength continues to grow as it overwhelms mine. I am drawn back away from my body. My vision begins to tunnel, and then fades away entirely until I am in the corridor that houses our soul rooms. He smirks at me again, then jerks me into my room. The door slams and locks behind me.
He's never been in here, my source of strength, the one thing in this world that belongs to me.
I won't let him.
He can't take everything from me.