"ULQUIORRA EYE SOCKET FUCKING PARTY FUCK YEAH," Grimmjow screamed in joy, popping open a large bottle of champagne. Today was Ulqiuorra's birthday and everyone was there, even Aizen. Ulquiorra wasn't too happy about the whole thing as it was just an excuse to violently rape his eyeballs. Too bad no one cared about his opinion. "OH FUCK YEAH, CAKE."
Gin walked in with a giant cake. It was oozing icing and miscellaneous bodily fluids. Plunking it on the table, he excused himself, smirking while he did so. Grimmjow forced Ulquiorra beside the outrageously large cake, laughed in the other arrancar's face and blew out the candles that were scattered haphazardly over the top tier of the cake. Ulquiorra almost started crying, but he was too busy being fucked in the eye by Szayel.
Suddenly Orihime popped out of the cake wearing nothing but a hot pink g-string, "Happy birthday Ulquiorra!"
Ulquiorra did start crying when Orihime turned into Aizen once she got out of the cake. No one should have to see that, even though Ulquiorra technically couldn't see it because there were currently dicks in his eye sockets. He hated every single one of these people.
"I couldn't afford a stripper so I chained Ishida to that stripper pole over there. He'll wake up soon," Aizen smirked. This was the worst birthday anyone could possibly have.
"I found a virgin for you Aizen~. I know they're your favourite fuck," Gin said in a sing-song voice. No, he was done, that was it. Ulquiorra pulled out the dicks currently residing in his eye sockets, picked his eyeballs off the floor and ran.
Fuck these people; he'd rather hang out with those other losers. A thought Ulquiorra thoroughly regretted while he was sitting in Ichigo's room watching him jack off to some 2-d woman called Akina-chan.