This one shot is like a semi-side story from my story 'Forgetting You' but only at the end. This is mostly set with the whole of Inazuma Eleven from Season 1 till the end of season 3.
Endou's been visualized as a great character who is able to achieve many things. I liked how they placed Tachimukai as him being in Endou's shadow but I wanted to expand on the idea of Endou's shadow a bit more and there are many stories about siblings in main character's shadows. Fubuki semi is but not in the same way.
I don't own Inazuma Eleven for if I did, Endou would have a cute little brother named Aichi (heh)
E X P E C T A T I O N S
Why can't I be more like Endou? That's all I ever hear.
Every ball I kick.
Every goal I save.
It's always about him.
Never about me.
Why can't they see… I'm not Mamrou-nii.
I'm me… my own person.
Can't the world see that?
Sakka as I see it now… well it's not the same as I used to see it. Ever since we were young we'd kick the ball to each other while our younger sister watched us from the porch. Back and forth from dawn to dusk till our mother had to drag us by the ear to our muddy selves washed and ready for bed.
He'd yell out my name and I yelled his as the dirty ball was kicked from one set of feet to the other… in time, in sync.
Because of that one faithful day on New Year's Eve, the day Mamoru discovered grandfather's stuff in the shed outside our house. He held out his hand to me, smiled and told me, "Sakka Yarouze!"
His smile.
His warm and inviting smile.
How could it come to this…
Because whenever I see that smile now, it's almost as if pain curses through me.
The longer I've lived to see his smile, the more I realise the pain of being in the shadow.
The shadow of the great Endou Mamoru.
.
.
I guess it was never always bad to be his brother.
Back when I was never really drowning in his shadows.
I can remember playing happily side by side with him during Elementary school, he in the fifth grade, me in the second. During recess the bigger kids pushed me out of the way whenever I asked I asked if I could play soccer with them.
They laughed at me and my size.
I knew I had always been smaller than average, but has that ever stopped me from playing soccer?
Because every time this would happen, Mamoru-nii would just take my hand and brought me to the field to play anyway. The third graders still laughed but let me onto the field to play with them… only because my brother would glare at them if they ever saw them pushing me off the field.
"Sakka is for everyone." Endou would say to them before he ran off towards the net while he nodded at me to run to the opposite net… dare they disrespect they're upperclassmen? He didn't think so.
Things took a downpour in my fourth grade. He was happily starting junior high at Raimon while I was still stuck here… alone without him.
The original bullies now in the fifth grade tormented me every chance they got. My brother was gone, so who was there to protect me now? His shadow was gone… there was no where I could run to, curl up and hide. No one to grab my hand to bring me to the field and tell me it'll be ok.
"This is cause of your brother, Endou…" One of them sneered as they kicked me for my lunch money.
Endou.
Endou.
Why is it always because of my brother?
I was always too weak and worthless to stand up for myself. I never tried… because I knew I wasn't strong enough. They would never listen to me…
I clutched my stomach and curled up in ball on the cement floor, shielding myself from every blow before the bullies got bored and laughed away, yelling they would be waiting for me after school.
That was the first time I'd ever felt pain because of him… my brother.
I didn't think much of it then. Back then I just wished that Mamoru didn't pull me onto the field to play with them. Maybe if he had let me go, then the pain wouldn't have come two years later.
Every night I would come home with a bruised cheek, or half limping for that reason. My parents and my sister were easy to brush off. I just told them it was my own careless fault, like I tripped on the rock or something and they would tell me to be more careful.
But Mamoru?
Yes Mamoru.
He wasn't so easily convinced.
Every night he'd patch up the scar on my face or wash the scraps on my knees. He wouldn't ask how it happened…it seemed like… he just knew. He just smiled and patched up my wounds silently.
Because one day coming out from school, knowing the pain that was coming, I saw him. Three bullies on the ground, one being held up by my brother by the collar, his back slammed onto the fence behind him.
It didn't take too long for me to pry him off and let him go. Mamoru gave them a warning and a scary glare which was all it took for them to scatter away.
I was never bothered again by them after that.
But all I could question was… why couldn't I stand up for myself like Mamoru could?
.
.
During fifth grade I was finally able to join the local soccer club - or the KFC as they called it. At try outs the coach told me how I had natural goalkeeper talent as natural soccer instincts.
"Couldn't expect less from the brother of Endou Mamoru," he smiled at me.
Back then, I wouldn't have known the pain of being compared to him would be like. I just wanted to be just like Mamoru… strong and good at soccer.
Just like him.
For the first time I felt sad that I wasn't able to play with my brother. For the first time I had been separated with him… I couldn't kick the ball to him in these games.
My mother smiled at me, seeing me wear the blue and yellow goalkeeper uniform. She stated how I looked just like my brother before his first KFC game.
These days my brother was in his second year at Raimon and was the captain of the soccer team. He would tell me stories about how the team had started to gain more players and how they were getting closer and closer to the Football Frontier finals.
"…and then Kidou walked out onto the field and maaan we were surprised and then…"
He'd talk and I'd listen eagerly.
I wanted to grow up faster and join Raimon… just like my brother did.
Raimon ended up winning the Football Frontier, I was happy for him and his friends… but that's when everything started to go downhill.
I couldn't believe my ears after hearing Aliens had come to earth and challenged everyone to soccer. Mamoru left home with Raimon to stop the aliens… leaving me alone again.
It was then my coach started acting weird, like he suddenly became obsessed to making us into stronger players.
Had the aliens coming down to earth really affected him?
"YOU CAN'T BE WEAKLINGS IF ALIENS CAME AND ATTACKED US! ISN'T THAT RIGHT MAGGOTS" he'd yell endlessly.
He'd train us even more vigorously than before, even in the harsh weathers of wind, rain, snow and hail mixed in one. Most of my team were almost in tears after a month, so close to resigning.
But me? No not me… I found his tough training a way to try and catch up to level with my brother… after all... he's probably getting stronger with every alien he faced.
This only made the coach train me into pain more harshly than the others,
"WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER MAGGOT!"
"STOP BEING SUCH A BABY AND GO FASTER, ENDOU DIDN'T ACT LIKE THIS WHEN HE WAS UNDER MY TRAINING"
The jeering wouldn't stop, but I didn't stop either.
But even after that horrible torture and pain… even if I did feel stronger… was it even enough?
By the time my brother had come, aliens defeated and befriended, he ruffled my hair and smiled at me saying "It's alright now."
His smile had been always warm to me, but now I could feel something else besides the warmth.
From that smile, I knew that my strength after that training was only a fraction of what his power was now.
Ever since that day, I pushed myself past my limits till I was coughing up blood after tire swing practise.
I was now in sixth grade and if it wasn't for me, the sixth grader team of the KFC wouldn't be at the top of the league now. If it wasn't for my perseverance and the pain of my training, I wouldn't have been the top goalkeeper of this league.
My still pushes me hard. I know he'd proud of me, he tells me my skill is over the average of a middle schooler. But he keeps yelling at me how I'll never be like my brother… that's the one thing the fires me up…
I don't want to be like my brother… I want to be better than him.
It wasn't too long till my Mamoru left me again.
Deep inside, sadness overfills me… both from him leaving me once more and the fact that I couldn't be chosen. My best friend Torumaru got accepted too, he's always telling me how awesome Mamoru is… I just smile and nod.
Of course everyone loves him, even my best friend.
He'd never at home now. First he was staying at that training camp, now he's away at that soccer island place getting closer to winning the Football Frontier International.
Of course they do win… he's on the team so why wouldn't they?
He comes home buzzing with excitement, showing off the trophy and eventually becomes the talk of the household for a month during the dinner table.
He smiles and hugs me, once again he ruffles my hair.
He asks me how are my games going and the whole family looks at me at my expected answer.
"Good," I let out a soft small reply.
He grins telling me "Good job!" before he turns to ask our sister how's school.
Even with the amount that is going on in his life… he still remembers me. I want to hate him for leaving me in his shadow… but I just can't…
.
.
I stare out of the window of his room.
My brother has left me again… but this time… I really don't know for how long.
After being kicked out of Inazuma High's first year team, he almost started a fight with kid from his class causing him to be suspended.
Half of me urges to jeer at myself saying, "Why does everyone want you to become like your kicked out brother?" The other half urges to wonder how this could happen to the brother I looked up too.
I come home from school today to apologize to him about a wrongdoing of my own to find his room empty and my brother gone. A note on his desk, half crumpled with tear stains, telling everyone not to come looking for him… telling him he's leaving.
I want to fall to the floor and let my tears flow, I want to punch him endlessly and cry into his chest to say I'm sorry. But he's not here… he's gone.
He's gone and I can't do anything about it.
Looking out the window, I wait in hope that he'll come running round the corner home from school.
But that's all under my imagination… I know it won't happen.
I just wish at least one last time, he hold his hand out to me, smile at me at tell me, "Sakka Yarouze!" and ruffle my hair. That he'd grab my hand and bring him to the field to play with him.
He left me a message in his note,
Never give up on yourself, no matter what, because if you do, then who will?"
I hold my hand to my heart and look up at the sky.
"You may not be here onii-san, but I'll catch up to you someday… wait for me and one day we'll play together soon. I know I'm not you, I'm Endou Aichi, not Endou Mamoru, and knowing you, you will want me to play the hardest by being myself… I promise you, next time I see you, I'll be different."
Leaving his brother's empty room, he could almost visualize his brother's smile faintly in the summer sky.
Maaan it's been forever since I've written anything! But I am back… but just for two weeks. Been tough running around with school and on the side moderating my friends' and I's Anime forum with a side break of playing TF2 and fanart.
Though it's good to be writing again! Consider this a warm up for writing the next chapter for 'Forgetting You'.