A/N: Inspired by a contest picture that I entered on Deviant Art. (To see the picture you can go to my profile and go to my Deviant Page)
Warning: This is a yaoi fan fiction and contains Kratos/Yuan pairing. If you do not like this then please do not read it and just move on. Do not do meaningless flaming as it will not be tolerarted just because you dislike the pairing as I have now declared the warning here.
Without further notice then, here is the fan fiction and this is intended to just be a one-shot so unless I become inspired then there will be nothing further added to it. Hope you all enjoy!
There was once an old story that told about the origin of rain. Some people say that "When rain falls, it means the angels are in mourning." Being an angelic being, I found such tales to be redundant. But as I stand here now, that saying seems to take a new meaning inside. The rain falling reflects my torn soul as I stand. All around me is what once was present. This is where everything began and this is where it will all end. Where I was living is where I will now die and where I said hello, is where I will say farewell. A sudden wind blew fiercely on the desolate landscape. With more water pouring on my drenched form comes a shift of mana. There was no need to turn around as I already recognized the person. Silence was between us as we stood amongst the ruins. With a soft sigh, he stepped closer while I stared at the ground. We were only a few feet apart now but I refused to face him. An emotional pain stabbed my heart while my breathing almost ceased. The rain poured down harder and lightning was faintly visible in the sky. I heard Kratos let out a breath and run a hand through his auburn hair. Clenching my hands, I stood and mentally braced myself for what I knew would come. I prepared myself and anxiously waited.
"Your Second in Command mentioned how you suddenly decided to brave the storm and sulk. Seeing as you weren't present at either Renegade Bases, I had a feeling you'd be here." He stated.
I gave a dry laugh. "You sound like a care-taker reprimanding a misbehaving child. I just needed to get away was all."
"Sometimes you are a child, Yuan. Just you being here is proof of that."
I opened my mouth to say something but no words escaped. Sulking…in a way that's exactly what I was doing. After hearing about his decision, I just left without giving any reply to the soldier who reported the news. To stay meant that I would most likely destroy anything nearby. In some way I did want to be found but in some way I didn't. I silently cursed the indecisive emotions and failed to notice the distance closing between us.
"The 4,000 year curse has ended now, Yuan. Lloyd and the others have now placed Mithos and Martel to rest and united the two separate worlds. Everything has been brought to an end and a new beginning has now started."
"You don't have to go with Derris Kharlan, Kratos." I cursed myself for speaking before thinking. Yet I knew that he wanted for me to continue. I sighed and looked up into the rain as I spoke; swallowing down the dreaded feelings inside as I began to speak each word. "To place the blame on yourself for what Mithos had done is meaningless. Even though we did play a part, there's no reason for you to exile yourself on that dust ball. People want you to stay here, Kratos…no one wants you to leave."
"But this is the only way to atone for my sins. If an Angel of Cruxis remained then it would only serve more harm then good and to ensure Derris Kharlan remains safe someone has to guide it. The technology and Cruxis Crystals are too dangerous to just leave alone. "He replied.
"And you're still going? You'll abandon your only son?" I growled.
"Lloyd is seventeen now, he can handle himself and has proven that."
He took a step forward and hearing his breathing, a small heat rose up to my face. Without warning, he suddenly pulled me into an embrace which caused my eyes to widen in shock. The immense pain re-enveloped my being and I wanted nothing more then to break away. Yet my body seemed to ignore my mind. I just silently stood there as he held me. Without looking back, without facing him, I quietly stood as he moved his face next to mine and spoke softly.
"You need to stop using other people to hide your emotions, Yuan. I've known you long enough to understand how you think and how you hide your inner feelings. Using other's emotions to cover up what you have inside and constantly hide behind a mask. Did you not realize that I would notice?"
Silence. There was really nothing that I could respond back with. In just a single moment he had uncovered about half of the feelings that I had for centuries kept under an emotionless facade. Many had considered thus that I was uncaring but only Kratos could see through that. Only he could tear off the mask that I have veiled myself in and, if he wanted, he could also tear off so much more. Through the rain, I could make out the warmth from the embrace and his voice; I continued listening as he continued speaking.
"You and I have reached our own separate paths now. I understand your own reasons for staying on Aselia and I think it may be for the better. I wanted to see you one last time and I'm grateful that I managed to. For all the pain I may have caused or will now I apologize. You were the only person to care when I had found my own happiness and the only person to care when I lost everything. To see you and Lloyd now is difficult but I can only hope you understand my intentions as well as I understand yours. Watch over Lloyd for me, Yuan, please. He'll require the assistance and I'll be unable to give it to him."
I held back a chocked sob. Slowly my body trembled and my vision blurred from the tears. The barriers that I had focused and prepared, the cold mirrors I placed around me had now cracked and threatened to shatter. The temptation to break down and hold him close was overwhelming. To persuade him to stay or go along with him was what I desired to do right there. Yet the tears never fell. Taking his hands into my own, I stared down and closed my eyes. I swallowed down the great pain and just leaned back against him. The world entered a stand-still and for us, nothing was present.
"Do you remember this place?" I asked my quietly. "This is where we first met."
He gave a soft chuckle and nodded lightly. "I was having an average day and stumbled upon a hopeless half-elf. I always told you how you made a poor thief."
I smiled lightly. 'In your hometown that's where we met. Where we stand now was where everything began. You helped me find myself and told me 'people always have a reason regardless of race. That starting now, I would have someone to care for and I could have my first friend.' This is where everything began for me so that's why I chose here to contemplate or 'sulk' as you will put it."
He released one my hands and moved it to some strands of hair which hung on the side. Pushing some aside, he turned my face gently and forced me to look at him. Green eyes stared into crimson-brown for a brief moment. They say that eyes are the windows to your soul and at that moment I believe we both saw into each others'. The downpour reduced to only a light shower and I soon found myself staring into nothing. Light transparent blue feathers fell from the sky. As the storm began to recede, I gazed at the ground and light touched my lips which were still warm. I gazed down and the tears that threatened to fall now ran freely down my face.
Most people would have tried to stop the ones they cherish from leaving. Most would persuade them to stay and express their true feelings. Yet it was because I cared that I had to let him go. To tell my own desires would be only showing a selfish want. Just as we had two separate paths then, so do we now. Everyone had left and I had just allowed the only person—the first and last man that was most important to me, to leave and forever be out my grasp. I fell to my knees, and holding one of those transparent feathers, held it close and released the barriers I held up. In silence, tears fell as I cried alone and the storm began to fade.
Eternal farewells are a fate even worse then death and parting forever is as horrific as losing that person to death. To say any words to him then would have been meaningless. No words could describe how I felt and no words could ever describe him. The decision I made now I will probably always regret. A thought inside, however, made me smile slightly through those tears. Because somehow I realized that even without words he still knew the exact words I wanted to say. From that first meeting four thousands years ago, Kratos already knew everything about me and he still does now. Wiping away the last of my tears, I stood and began walking away. To start the path that I have chosen, is the only fate for me to accept. I chose a separate path from Kratos and I will now forever face those consequences. This is the place where everything began and now the place where everything ended. Yet from that ending came a painful beginning for two different people and two different paths. 'I hope you never regret your decision Kratos, because, despite the pain and emptiness I will now hold no regrets for mine.'
END
What you mean to me...there could be many terms I could use but I would only be lying as they could never define who you are...you were the only person to care when I was lost and the only one to care when I was gone...
No matter what I did you always would hurry to my side and when I finally asked why, you said: "It's cause I can never bear to be without my angel..."
Ironically, it's the same way I felt with you...I just didn't realize it until you were gone forever and away from my grasp. I didn't realize the hidden message until you were beyond my reach to where I could never return those words back to you. Those three simple words: "I Love You."