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Nice to see you, Darling
Dean's as nervous as a virgin groom on his wedding night.
He's going into surgery in a couple of hours – the last stage in a long road of treatment. He's excited, he's scared and even now - with the end in sight and everyone positive and ready to celebrate - he doesn't quite dare hope that everything's going to work out.
But when everything's over – Dean going to be able to see. Light and colours, patterns and shapes, he'll be able to put faces to voices and objects to smells and tastes and screw being pessimistic he can't wait!
He'll get to look at his family again.
There's his mom: smells like cinnamon and had never treated him differently - except that maybe hugs got a little longer, a little tighter after his eyes finally gave up the good fight.
There's his dad who, in the space of merely 2 weeks, had gone from loving but quiet and restrained, to exuberant, tactile and loud when he realised that since his eldest son could no longer see he was loved, he had to be shown.
There's Sammy - a cheeky little squirt the last time Dean saw him and now, if Dean's family is to be believed, an enormous moose-sized puppy that smiles like sunshine.
And Jess, of course, who apparently is responsible for many, many sunshine smiles. Jess, who sounds kind no matter what she says and tells Dean the most adorable stories about her kindergarten class.
There's Bobby: gruff, reliable and an irresistible deterrent to the self pity that could plague a blind teenager who believed he couldn't do anything worthwhile and was promptly taught that he could not be more wrong.
Ellen: kind, courageous and never to be crossed - whether by a smart-mouthed daughter or a boy whose eyes are no less mischievous for all they can't see the trouble he causes.
Ellen's girl Jo, who Dean remembers as an overly grumpy toddler and knows now as acid-tongued, hilarious woman is too much like her mama for any man's comfort (and doesn't she love it that way).
There's people that Dean did not know before, but who he is no less eager to actually see. Dean wants to know if Benny's smile is as toothy as he's always envisioned. He wants to comment on Charlie's awesome shirts without having them described to him. He wants to know if Balthazar really does always have a martini glass in his hand (maybe that's just Dean imagination run wild but if anyone sounds like he's always sucking down a "Shaken Not Stirred" it's Balthazar). He needs to see if he was right when he's assumed that Gabriel doesn't smell like sugar just because he owns a chocolate shop but rather because his pockets bulge with sweets.
He wants to get his hands on a mirror - to see someone unknown but familiar looking back – his adult face. He knows he has green eyes and freckles and apparently what Charlie calls "bitching good looks" and what Benny calls "a pretty, pretty face with squishable cheeks". If Cas is to be believed, Dean will be taking the crown as the next Mr Universe any day now, but Dean's pretty sure Cas is horrifically biased.
Oh wait, Cas.
Cas, who has soft skin at his collarbones which Dean presses his lips against just to hear Cas's sharp inhale. Cas, with his apparently permanent stubble (because Dean has kissed him goodbye literally just after he shaved. Seriously, whose hair grew that fast?). Cas, with his strong, helpful hands, his long clever fingers and full, begging-to-be-kissed lips. Cas who is so warm both emotionally and physically (Dean thinks that he may have actually swallowed a small sun), who always greets him with a hug and "Hello Dean" murmured right in his ear. Cas with his low, deep voice, so expressive that Dean never fails to hear what he's feeling. Cas, who completely invades what Dean knows would be, in other circumstances, his 'personal space'. Dean doesn't mind - it puts Cas in touching distance. Cas, who over the years has mastered Braille to the point where he steals Dean's books - because he's evil like that. Cas, who has carefully, meticulously, flatteringly described every one of Dean's features to him until Dean is reduced to spluttering that Cas is an idiot, face so warm it can melt through glaciers. Cas who apparently looks damn good in a waistcoat but is mostly a walking, talking fashion disaster according to the testimony from their friends.
Cas, who never tries to hide himself from Dean - even though he so easily could.
Dean can't wait to see Cas.
The timing sucks. Cas is stuck on a work trip that he's had planned for weeks but when Dean tries to postpone the surgery, Cas argues him out of it in about 10 minutes (stubborn bastard).
So Cas calls to wish Dean good luck and Dean can hear his excitement and worry through the phone. It's soothing to hear from him but Dean can't help that wish Cas was here to say these things in person, maybe give him a hug. But Dean Winchester is a grown ass man with a large support network and no amount of nervousness or fear can quell slow burn fire of exhilaration in the pit of his stomach.
Still, being wheeled into the theatre feels a little like he's walking the Green Mile and Dean has never been so grateful for his family as he is in that moment. People hug him and pat him on the shoulder and someone (probably Jo) punches him in the shoulder as his bed moves through the doors.
Dean may not be able to see the room, but he can hear the surgical team breathe around him and feel the burn of the theatre lights though his eyelids. The anaesthesiologist speaks in a soothing voice as she puts the breathing mask over his mouth, asking him to relax and take slow, shallow breaths.
Dean's last thought before he finally goes under (and it's possible the anaesthetic is making him a little loopy) is that Charlie's going to regret her joking promise to let him borrow her badass shades for post-op eye protection, because he's going to look 163% better in them than she does - guaranteed.
Dean slowly counts down from 10 as sleep sets in: ten…nine…eight…seven…six…. and he's gone.
Waking up is a bitch.
Dean's tired and groggy and nauseous and his eyes feel freaking weird. Cas calls four times after the surgery until Dean's actually awake enough to talk to him and assure him that yes Cas, he's still alive: yes, everything went well. No, Cas, he's not tried to attack any of the doctors - how dare you Cas, he's a model patient and citizen!
It's good to hear Cas's voice.
The next few days are marked by slow recovery: Dean's eyes begin to adjust. He's allowed a little more exposure each day. Light gives way to blurs, gives way to partially defined shapes, gives way to the definitely there faces of his family and friends. He needs lenses to help his eyes focus and no one's sure yet if that's going to be permanent.
"As if you needed to be better looking." Benny coos over his new glasses while Charlie rolls her eyes, Jo snorts, Jess smiles and Sam retches in the corner of the room. It definitely gives Dean immense pleasure to flip his brother off while looking directly into his stupid, massive face.
Balthazar stops by and while he doesn't actually appear to be holding a martini glass, Dean's more than a little suspicious of the rose-pink water bottle from which he sips delicately. Dean's reserving judgement until he can observe Balthazar outside of the hospital, in his natural environment.
Gabriel gets in trouble when he comes in laden with enough candy to support Napoleon's troops on their march through Russia and doesn't let Dean have any because he's a jerk…but also because the doctors say he needs to watch his blood sugar while he recovers. He does, however, hand it out free to every child patient and visitor in the hospital whilst simultaneously trying to sweet talk a paediatric surgeon into having dinner with him. The doctor seems amused by his antics but even 2 days had been enough time for Dean to know she is not to be messed with.
Dean's mother sneaks in a slice of his favourite pie. If he's at first a little shocked by the crow's feet that have marked her age since the last time he saw her, then he's equally gratified by the laughter lines that form easily and immediately when she smiles at him and goes in for a hug.
His dad is the only one with Dean when he first sees himself in a mirror. He stands stock-still taking in the man he's become – freckles and green eyes still in place but everything else so different. He expected a huge change of course but there's a stranger in the mirror and he needs time to adjust. A large warm hand resting on his shoulder is a solid, grounding presence. Dean and his dad just stand there for what seems like hours while Dean gets to know himself again.
The only thing missing in all of this is Cas. He calls everyday and he's going to be back very soon but Dean just wants Cas to be here already. His parents came laden down with family albums, his friends show off photos from trips he experienced but didn't see and college parties he fondly remembers but can't visualise, but he's evaded all attempts to show him a photo of Cas. It may be stupid, and frankly a little soppy, but Dean wants to be surprised – he wants the first time he sees Cas to be in person.
So he serves his recovery time in hospital, he continues the vision strengthening exercises he's been assigned, he receives his never ending stream of visitors and, when he's got a spare moment, he misses Cas. He's relieved to find out that he's progressing even better than expected and so will be discharged far sooner than originally planned. It's this idea on which he's brooding one day nearing the end of evening visiting hours when he sees a stranger in the recovery ward.
The man's not a doctor or nurse that Dean knows (he's actually finding it quite easy to identify people via their facial features rather) and with that long tan-coloured trench coat he's clearly a visitor. The coat is the first thing Dean notices.
The second is that this guy is smoking hot.
He seems lost to be honest – scanning the room for the person he's visiting no doubt. He's obviously rushing to make it before visiting hours end - he's flushed, ruffled and off-balance. Dean may not have much experience with visual cues but even he can tell that this guy in kind of nervous.
So, from all the way across the room, Dean looks him straight in his ridiculously blue eyes. The stranger seems shocked and kind of ecstatic at the eye contact and Dean can't help but ask.
"Hey buddy, can I help you?"
Blue Eyes starts walking then and damn it Dean would know that footfall anywhere, so he's grinning fit to split his face in two before Cas even makes it to the foot of the bed, with tears in his eyes and a smile a mile wide.
"Hello, Dean."