February

Some people may think they are lucky but me Greg Heffley is the complete opposite of lucky. It seems everything I do doesn't work or backfires. I'm starting to wonder if my family was cursed by some wizard or witch when they came to settle in my town , and this bad luck shows now sign of stopping. Apparently now I'm at maximum bad luck right now , Patty Farrel hates me more than anyone else in my school , AND SHE IS MY NEW NEIGHBOR! Patty used to live near Crooked Creek and apparently when all the snow melted that we got this winter it flooded her basement with sewer water and they had to leave the house. They are staying at the apartment complex at the top of Surrey Street until their house is repaired , if I didn't already see her enough. I usually pass by the apartment complex every so often so I can get to the comic book store at the end of my road , I am going to have to find another route to take to get there because the apartment complex is now officially the danger zone.

TUESDAY

I have been trying to find another route to take to the comic book store but I can't find a way , the Whirley Street kids hate the Surrey Street kids so I cant so over there , Bolick Ave is filled with little kids who are ready to throw rocks and dried boogers at you , and I can't go past grandma's house because her house is by the Mingo's woods and I know they are ready to attack since what happened in the winter and they know I have Meckley's belt buckle so I have to stay away from there too. So today I walked up the hill and wore a hoodie over my head and tried to hide myself. When I went past the apartment complex the Guzman's dog "Jaws" came after me , and my hoodie came off when I was running away , then the dog ran back to its yard , then I realized that I was in front of the apartment complex , and guess who was looking out of her window Patty herself! Looking straight at me and if looks could kill I would be dead. I got up and ran as fast as I could when I got to the store Fregely was in there! I couldn't go in there with Fregely because the last time I was near he asked if I could pick his bellow button lent out so there is no chance I want to be around him anytime soon , so I wasted walking up my hill for nothing. Then I realized how I would get down hill because I couldn't go past the apartment complex because Patty saw me , so I followed the ditch that went behind the complex. There are some pretty weird kids in the apartment complex so I went into the woods to insure I didn't run into any of the complex kids. When I thought I was a good distance away from the complex I turned into the direction I thought was Surrey Street I walked for I while until I run into a group of ABANDONED CARS! I knew exactly where I was THE MINGO'S HEADQUARTERS! My heart stopped for a full 3 seconds I couldn't believe I was back here again! Then I SAW MECKLEY MINGO SLEEPING IN THE CAB OF A TRUCK! I looked around more Mingos were sleeping in every vehicle in that place! I knew that they could be waking from hibernation anytime soon so I ran like that's the only thing I could do! I heard some yelling and before I knew it ONE OF THE MINGO KIDS WAS RIDING AN OLD BIKE TOWARDS ME! I saw a hill and rolled down it , the Mingo kid flew off the bike into a puddle of mud. When I stopped rolling I started running again then I heard a voice yell " MECKEYS GONNA GEET YOU FOR THIS!" I keeped on running until I saw some houses I realized I was at the bottom of Surrey Street so I walked back up the road until I finally made it back to my house I decided to go to bed because I was exhausted.

WEDNESDAY

Yesterday when I went to bed I didn't wake up until this morning. Speaking of sleeping I has this awful dream of the Mingo kids capturing me and Meckley SPANKING ME WITH HIS BELT last night it was worse than the first dream of the Mingos I hope this kind of stuff doesn't happen again especially when I'm alone I probably would have had Rowley at my side but a couple days ago he broke his pinky when he slipped on melting slush he was at home for I while and won't be back to school until tomorrow. It was pretty boring walking to school without Rowley today when I got to school I had no one to really talk to so it was really boring at school today. When I got home Rodrick was practicing for one of his Loded Diaper "gigs" at the car wash. Rodrick says he is a professional musician but I don't think that's true. At dinner Dad said that me and Rodrick were going to go camping with him this weekend. I hate camping that last time I went camping with Dad I woke up with ticks all over me.
I told Dad I didn't like the idea and Rodrick said too but Dad said we need to man up and we were going to go if we wanted to or not. I really hope this camping trip goes well if not I am in for a big heap of trouble.
That night I thought about the Mingos , why do they live outside? Trust me Rowley and Me have encountered the Mingos way too many times. I'm starting to wonder if they are tracking me down , I still have Meckley's Belt so that is a possibility.

Thursday

Today Rowley could leave his house so he walked with him to school I told him about the Mingos and he said he was sorry for not protecting me. I told him I still had the belt and Rowley said maybe we should give it back. I said "NO WAY IM COMING BACK TO THAT PLACE"! Rowley then said that if we don't , the Mingos must hunt us down I told him we need to calm down and they don't walk outside their woods often. "Okay" said Rowley. During lunch Patty came over to our table and I knew she was going to chew me out because of yesterday. She said "I HATE SEEING YOUR FACE GREG HEFFLEY DON'T MAKE ME BEAT YOU UP AGAIN! I DON'T WANT YOU NEAR THE APARTMENT COMPLEX UNTIL I MOVE BACK INTO MY OLD HOUSE!" "YOU JUST NEED TO SHUT IT PATTY!" I yelled. She just rolled her eyes and walked back to her seat but tripped and ran into Fregely. Fregely sneeze and got boogers all over patty. If there in one thing I wanted to see happen to patty it's that! The whole lunchroom started laughing at Patty and Rowley laughed so hard milk came out of his nose Then Patty started crying. Fregely on the other hand was picking his belly button in the corner like always. Patty went to the nurse and got sick with the stomach bug and had to go home. I'm still wondering about why Fregely isnt sick. I think it is because Fregely is a grem magnet but has a strong immune system. Then Vice Principal Roy came in and Fregely had to go home due to hygiene issues , again! This is why I don't like Fregely.

Friday

Last night the school called and said school was canceled because Fregely's germs spread and got a lot of people sick ,but luckly not me. I decided to go to Rowley's house and play Twisted Wizard 4 when I got their Rowley was watching "Andy's Magic Cushion." I remember when we were going to watch that movie at my house one time but we watched this scary movie called the foot and me and Rowley had nightmares of the "FOOT" for 2 weeks. Me and Rowley took turns playing Twisted Wizard 4 for a while Rowley's mom made grilled cheese for lunch and they were ok. Thank God Rowley's dad was at work because he doesn't really like me especially after me and Rowley put makeup on him when he was asleep Rowley got grounded for 2 weeks cause of that luckily , my mom didn't find out. I asked mom if I could stay the night with Rowley and she said yes but I have to leave early in the morning for the camping trip. Around 8:00 Rowley and I turned on some tv we watched a game show about answering questions about video games and it was okay. Around 9:00 we heard a loud crash out side we looked out the window and we couldn't believe our eyes it was one of the Mingos! They had tracked us down! Rowley then said all this "I told you so" stuff but I didn't want to listen. Rowley's parents were eating at a restuarant so me and Rowley were alone. Rowley started then to have a PANIC ATTACK and was making a lot of noise. I was worried that the Mingo kid would hear him and try to attack. I told him to go to the bathroom and calm himself down and I would watch outside , he went in there for a little bit and came back a little calmed down. All of a sudden a russle came from the bushes and then standing in the backyard was MECKLEY MINGO WITH HIS BELT! I tried to think fast and threw the first thing I saw out the window I thought it would be a distraction so me and Rowley could call the COPS I didn't realized what I threw until I looked it was one of those BOP IT toys you can get and the second it hit the ground it made a extremely loud noise. The Mingos heard it and started making screeching noises. Before I knew it an echo of screeches could be heard from the woods behind Rowley's house. Me and Rowley ran as fast as we could and hid in the closest. Then I heard a loud crashing sound it sounded like a baseball bat hitting a gutter then I realized that the Mingos were trying to take down the house! More and more crashing and banging sounds could be heard then the sound of a lawn mower came to my ear. The Mingos had some how broken in to Rowley's dads shed and started the lawn mowers. Then a loud grind sound could be heard and the sound of wood chopping up. The Mingos were ripping the side wooden wall of the shed apart. Then I got an idea I went in the basement and got some of old bottle rockets from the Jefferson's 4th of July party , and some Halloween masks. I brought them back upstairs with a bucket. Inside the bottle rocket box was some smoke bombs which was a bonus for my plan. Me and Rowley then put on the masks and pit some bottle rockets and smoke bombs and put them in a bucket. When I lit them I dumped the bucket out the window. A loud whistle could be heard when the bottle rocket ignited and a colorfull could of smoke could be seen. When It all cleared the Mingos were running back into the woods. Even though my plan worked the Mingos made a giant mess and Rowley and I had to clean it up before his parents get home. I plugged the landline back in and put up the yard supplies while Rowley nailed a piece of wood back into the shed. The lawn mower scratched a lot of paint off the shed but luckily Mr. Jefferson's shed's paint was peeling off anyway due to recent incidents. When it was all cleaned up I literally passed out on Rowley's couch.

Saturday

This morning Rowley's mom woke me up and told me that my dad had came to take me and Rodrick camping. When I opened the door Rodrick , Dad , and Manny were there. I asked why did Dad take Manny and Rodrick said that Manny threw had a total blowout tantrum when Mom said that he couldn't go camping with us so Mom let him come. The first thing I saw when I got into Dad's car was Manny's action adventure car seat which make a lot of noise and plays nursery rhymes me and Rodrick hate it. Luckily before Manny got into the car I took out the batterys so the seat wouldn't sing or make noise. When we got on the road Manny wanted the car seat to sing to him when it didn't he started to cry. Manny told Dad that his seat wasn't working and he needed to fix it. But Dad didn't do anything though because I guess he hated the seat too! The campground was about a hour and a half away from my town so the car ride was long. When we finally got there we set up the tent and put our stuff in the tent. Then Dad told me and Rodrick to go get some firewood I found a place in the woods with plenty of sticks out of the corner of my eye something moved. I expected a beat or the muddy hand to pop out but it was actually a pig. When I looked at it I realized it wasn't just any pig IT WAS OUR PIG! Somehow the pig came all this way. Then the pig started to Run! Out of the woods I chased after it until I saw it in our tent. Then I heard Manny yell "Piggy!" I never saw the pig or Manny happier than that in a while. When Dad saw the pig a made a strange face. I guess he enjoyed the pig being gone as for me and Rodrick we were happy we were actually glad it was back as long as Manny didn't cry as much anymore. About 2 hours later we made a campfire and roasted hot dogs and marshmallows and Manny kept feeding the pig! The pig looked like it was about to get sick. It looked like it gained a lot of weight while it was away and looked as if it was digging in trash bins for a month , which it probably did. As soon as we went to bed it started to pour rain. So me and Rodrick had to put the tent back in the car. While we were doing that the pig and Manny were going totally everything was packed up it was like midnight. When we got out of the campground area there was a lot of construction on the highway back to my town. Instead of a hour and a half to get home it would take three hours. We were all so tired we decided to get off the high way and sleep at this motel it wasn't 5 stars but at least it wasn't terrible and at least it allowed pets because we had the pig with us. We put the pig under a laundry basket and put some suitcases on top of that so we could insure that the pig didn't get out. We also put a pee pad incase it had a accident. Then we all went back to sleep.

Sunday

We woke up around nine this morning. I checked pigs pee pad and it was clean but the pig looked like it really needed to go so I put it on the toilet and it knew just what to do. The second I let the pig out of the bathroom Manny put those silly shorts on the pig.